What is the funniest thread on ATS? Or your favorite thread...

a reply to: Quantum12

I think it is on page 14? That I get my crown added to my avatar.
It is a really funny thread but a long read.

originally posted by: Domo1
This one is up there

That link does it no justice, that was freaking hilarious. Warning - do not read this if you are consuming a beverage of any sort.

That's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

Freaked out yet? How about these:

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

Here is the true story of my insane kittycat: [url=http://www.abovetopsecret.com...]

I wrote this a few years ago, and the furry little monster is still my best buddy... and he still farts excessively...

a reply to: mamabeth

It is page 15 that Chitin added my crown to my avatar.

I dunno, but the 'Is Trump The Second Coming Of Jesus' thread from today is still making me chuckle.

What are you really bad at ? This thread degenerated perfectly.

This one was pretty good as well: Active ATS roll call. Regular? reader? lurker? occasional? please post.

And this one: ATS new years resolutions. Do you have any? Even though cranky-pants showed up.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Both are great!

Lemonade = demon ale has got to be the funniest/strangest/weirdest thread by far.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
What are you really bad at ? This thread degenerated perfectly.

This one was pretty good as well: Active ATS roll call. Regular? reader? lurker? occasional? please post.

And this one: ATS new years resolutions. Do you have any? Even though cranky-pants showed up. [/quote


Two of the three are my threads.

I see your cheque arrived on time and did not bounce this month.






]

edit on 29/4/2016 by nonspecific because: (no reason given)

a reply to: nonspecific

Yeah. Just keep up the payments to Blup, Lysergic and me and we will make all of your threads tolerable.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: nonspecific

Yeah. Just keep up the payments to Blup, Lysergic and me and we will make all of your threads tolerable.

I just remembered this one and had a good laugh.

Whats an anagram of your username? link

a reply to: nonspecific

This one was good too: Something weird when I googled my ATS name.

This Skunkworks Thread, Infestation from 2009 by Ramadwarf Philes was laugh out loud stuff.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

A post from Ramadwarf on page 3

Hhh... I can see now that I will never be taken seriously no matter what I post. What have I done to my reputation? Or rather, the reputation that I might have built up for myself. I should have posted this AFTER doing some more respectable things eh?

Ok, this is my proposal: Usually, at about five in the morning, we get a few 'visitors' in the garden. I'm banking that they'll come along and, when/ if they do what they should do, I'll film them and what they do. Then I'll put that on a website I have intimate access to and you can watch the footage. Remember: If I fail, you will get it! I promise! It's just that my camera is built into the laptop and I don't really feel like taking it out into the street (not round here at least). Who knows, you might get to see me! Well, if you're lucky! I'm joking, I promise you'll get something soon, even if I have to stay up all night every night.

Oh, and I would NEVER let the little blighters get at MY nuts!

Ramadwarf on the ultimate sacrifice for Skunk Works and the TRUTH

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
That first one... You and BlupBlup had me laughing so hard.

a reply to: Skid Mark

That thread was some epic epicness.

I know there are more threads, the one that Jacy did for my 20,000th post was pretty funny where DBCowboy and I got into it for awhile.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
That one was pretty funny. At first I thought you two were serious then I saw you were joking.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Why would I joke about being bad at giving breast exams and wanting more practice?

That is serious stuff my man. Serious stuff.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
I meant the other one with DBCowboy. I knew you were serious about being bad at breast exams and needing practice. Even if guys are good at it they need "practice" lol.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Ah, with the off-color jabs at each other? Yeah, I get his humor so it was all good.

Another funny thread!

www.abovetopsecret.com...