posted on Mar, 24 2016 @ 04:09 AM
It's a silly, or profound question, depending upon how you look at it.
Last weekend, I read somewhere the phrase "remember who you really are". Though I am used to seeing such New Agey sort of stuff, and usually ignore
it, for some reason that kept resonating up again and again in mind later. Monday, when I lie down to do my usual relaxation-meditation exercise, it
came up again. I wondered what would emerge if I asked this question beforehand.
So I did, and at some point, I saw/felt an internal vision of a shining energy-person who was very bright yellow, and radiating a very happy, cheerful
feeling. It had aura of blue and yellow. I suddenly could feel myself as this, to give an image representative of the energy, picture a big
smiling face shining like the sun- like little kids draw in their pictures.
I could suddenly remember being this sort of joyful happy and confident nature as a small child!
What was funny about it is that I was a rather depressed child in bad circumstances. I went through a couple years being mute, remained depressed up
through most of my adolescence, and though it got better in adulthood, I remained rather neurotic and prone to anxiety. This confident, happy
personality, if one looks at the facts of my behaviors up to now, seems far removed from "who I am".
Though, my husband has sometimes described something like this in me that he loves, even if I cannot guess where he glimpsed it. Before this moment of
meditation in which I saw/felt it, I would not have imagined such a worry-free happiness existed in me. But as cliché as it sounds, it felt
like my "true" self or essence. Perhaps my soul? Or simply the joyful innocence we all begin with as a toddler, but forget?
I don't know. But I'll tell ya, for the last few days, I remind myself every once in a while of that, and suddenly find my breath let go, my muscles
relax (funny, each time I become aware of tension in the chest and shoulders that releases), and I feel like those rays of golden joy burst out!
I don't know if that is truly "who I am"... but I am a rather pragmatic person, and ultimately not concerned that much with truth, but more with what
works here and now. This answer I received to the question is helping me to change myself in ways I like and want! So it might be worth exploring!