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originally posted by: TomSawyer
I want to talk about something that is near and dear to my heart. I have found myself over the years unable to make any friends, and it's not from a lack of effort. I've put ads on Craigslist, on down the line in this effort. Yet I have not been able to find one person that is like minded to relate to and talk to. The reason it is so mind boggling to me, is because I am a genuinely nice guy. I live by two guiding principles. 1) Do No Harm= don't do anything to another human being that would harm the financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. 2) Become pure positive energy. That is not to say that I don't have another side. Because if you poke the bear with a stick........ Or as Robert on Shark Tank said "don't mistake my kindness as weakness." I will defend myself.
But something happened today that really has me rattled, so where best to post this other than rants? Today, I was looking up an old friend that I haven't seen or talked to in several years. The last time I saw him, I ran into him at a Journey concert. We used to be pretty good friends, until I started to figure things out about my family, my past, and got into signs and synchronicities pretty seriously because they were so persistent in my life at the time.
But we ended up not being friends anymore on New Years Eve a few years back. When he was talking to me in his garage, and basically said that he couldn't be the kind of friend that I needed, and he was crying when he said it. So I know that he wanted to be friends, but I needed someone that could understand me, so our paths split that night. (I ran into him at the concert a few years after that.) But I have two common themes that are repeating in my life, that are driving me nuts.
1) I have been accused of caring too much by my "minister" father. My wife told my dad when they met, that the reason she wanted to be with me, was because of how passionate I am, and how much I care about everything. etc. etc. etc.. It is true, but I don't think that you can ever care too much. But these same people go out of their way to try and destroy my will, and make it to where I don't care anymore. By doing things to me that are beyond messed up, and in my opinion pure evil. If I told you, you would probably believe that I am making it all up.
2) I am amazed at how many people I have known in my life that for the lack of a better term, I would deem either child sex offenders, or victims of child sex offenders. If my life is any indication of how prevalent this issue is in this country. Then I myself would label it an epidemic to the highest degree.
3 of the closest women I have known in my life, were all sexually abused by their own family members when they were children. The strange part, is that they are loyal to the offenders to the bitter end. I'm usually the one they take the trauma out on. Which usually ends up ending the relationship. But they aren't the only ones that I know about either.
So today, I was looking up my old friend to see if he would want to go see Star Wars with me, because I don't have anyone to go with. So I google him to see if I can find out what his cell phone number is now, and low and behold. He was arrested 5 or so years ago, on two different counts of being a child predator online. The only reason he was caught, was because he was actually communicating with a police officer. When he thought he was communicating with a 14 year old girl. What the hell is wrong with everybody!
So the last 5 people that I have let into my world, in my opinion were complete crap human beings. 3 of them tried to get me to rob a valet company that one of them worked for, with them. I refused, so we pretty much weren't friends anymore after that. One is a child predator, and the other one I don't even want to talk about. What's the point of trying to make any friends, if you never really know them anyways? I never would have guessed that any of these people would be this way, and yet here I am with no friends, and is it any wonder why? Where the hell are all of the good people at, or are there any left anymore? If the choice is between having crap human beings as friends, or no friends at all. I will continue to choose no friends.
Very Discouraged With Humanity At This Point,
So I google him to see if I can find out what his cell phone number is now, and low and behold. He was arrested 5 or so years ago, on two different counts of being a child predator online. The only reason he was caught, was because he was actually communicating with a police officer. When he thought he was communicating with a 14 year old girl. What the hell is wrong with everybody!
originally posted by: TheLotLizard
originally posted by: TomSawyer
I myself think out of personal experience, that you're trying to associate with the wrong crowd. The crowd I thought that were my friends ended up me being a felon. But the friends that I have now warned me of the consequence a year in advance but i didn't listen and look where that got me. But even after all of that, we are still friends and I doubt we could ever not be.
I get what you are saying, I really do. I thought these were all good people. It's not like these people are going to say to me, "hey, do you want to try and pick some under aged chicks online with me". Or "hey you'll never guess what I did the other day". That just doesn't happen in my world at least. So how do you know, until they get caught, or actually do say something about their deviance. Does that make sense?
But what is weird is that my best friend is someone that I never thought would be, an outgoing Jock football player/ex drug dealer lol and me being a very quiet "nerdish" guy that would only play videogames.
He has since continued college in Kansas and I myself kept in California but moved to a different town quite a ways from our hometown. But he still calls me when he makes it back and I travel down five hours to meet up with him at his moms.
And to think the only reason we became friends in the first place was because I wanted to trade him a salamander I found under a log for some money for cigarettes haha.
You made me smile with that one, good job!
edit on 31-1-2016 by TomSawyer because: (no reason given)
originally posted by: Kali74
a reply to: TomSawyer
My boyfriend appreciates my passion but doesn't share it about the same things and since I learned to accept that I'm excessive, I don't look for it in him or resent the lack of sameness. This allows me to appreciate him and my friends as they are and this provides an avenue for healthy, beautiful, reciprocal relationships.
So my advice to you is appreciate people as they are, not what you need them to be. Stop projecting what you need and learn to see the beauty around you and then try knowing that there must be someone out there, close enough by you and that someday one of you will wander into the life of the other.
I get what you are saying, and that was actually how I have been approaching it for years. Different people for each interest, trying to build some friendships that way. What I am saying is, all of these different people that filled different interests in my life with, all turned out to be not very good people. I knew these people for years, and they never displayed the propensity to do the kinds of things that they ended up doing years later. So that's why I am saying, how do you ever really know anyone?
Thank you for your response,