a reply to:
CIAGypsy
Fortunately you don't live close to them, I also had to have friends & family take turns house sitting so I could go to my own husbands funeral. Yes,
his family would have gone thru my house. Sad to say.
I do agree with other posters that if your husband is so inclined doing an obituary in your town's paper is not out of line. Plus having one that is
loving and fair goes a long way towards what your children & grandchildren will see when they are adults. Believe me when I say the difference between
what the Brother has written versus what your husband does will be apparent. I sympathize with the lack of control your husband feels. It makes the
grief harder.
I focused solely on the fact this was the last time I ever had to deal with my husbands gruesome family.
Freedom!!! Despite my devastation it brought me some relief.
It was many months and altho I had given his will to a lawyer to handle before I fully read it. That's when it hit me.
Right on the first page he'd written " If my family gets nothing it was intentional".
He'd finally stood up for himself in plain terms. To this day I smile.
He'd taken care to stand up for himself and me.
Like your situation his sister had done an obituary and I was not mentioned in it despite us being married for 30 years.
At first I was livid but then I thought.....hey! Her crappy behavior just saved me from identity theft and maybe a break-in. Two years later I
corrected his obituary for the grandkids. History is written by the victors after all.....smile!
His family did their worst and in the end did not prevail.
I also rather selfishly take comfort in the fact they were nasty human beings while he was alive and have apparently not changed, they will be what
they are till they die. Sucks to be them, it's a life sentence. Kind of sad when I give it any thought, which isn't often.
I'm pulling for you both....what to do will come to you and you'll find peace whatever you both decide.
NONE of this is easy, but you have a couple of kids looking to you, and they will forever remember how you both decide to handle all this.
That's the real legacy.
edit on 20-1-2016 by Caver78 because: (no reason given)