It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

My experience as diagnosed schizoaffective

page: 2
18
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 09:43 AM
link   
Thank you so much for this honest and straightforward description of Schizoaffective disorder! So happy to hear you have found a medication to control it. Be well my friend!




posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 10:03 AM
link   
Welcome to ATS. Thank you for sharing your story.



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 02:28 PM
link   
a reply to: Belcastro

I would be of the opinion that this is being caused either by military government and that you are a Targeted Individual, or that this is some type of demonic infestation; How many persons keep hearing "Isis" or the goddess Isis, speaking to them.. Alien Deception Agenda, see this thread concerning the Owls statues in Great Britain, and take a look at some of the videos on that thread..The New World Order Agenda in place for us all:


See the videos from this ATS thread; It concerns NWO/Illuminate and the Occult Agenda (ISIS) www.abovetopsecret.com...
edit on 22-8-2015 by tony9802 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 02:30 PM
link   
a reply to: Belcastro


A dream is a personal experience of that deep, dark ground that is the support of our conscious lives, and a myth is the society’s dream. The myth is the public dream and the dream is the private myth. If your private myth, your dream, happens to coincide with that of the society, you are in good accord with your group. If it isn’t, you’ve got an adventure in the dark forest ahead of you.”

Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth (with Bill Moyers)




Having been diagnosed with similar attributes and having read copious amounts of Joseph Campbell/Terrance McKenna/Alan Watts etc. I can honestly advise you to trust your Family and Friends to guide you in moments of early delusion. Think of medication as a safety line for finding your way home to sanity. I see medication as the ball of Red Thread given to the hero to find his way out of the Labyrinth of the Minotaur. But remember that the best way to deal with this DIS-EASE is to own up to it and learn to ride it RESPONSIBLY...start a medication Journal. It will help to narrow down the plethora of medication that will be thrown at you. The range of adverse event reactions (AER-via FDA FOIAs requests) is 6% -16% on the popular meds. You must learn to help find a workable chemical balance to reclaim YOUR Life. The key is to find the correct combination of the least amount of drugs WITH the least amount of side effects.



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 03:14 PM
link   
a reply to: Belcastro



Thanks for sharing so openly..... What you describe makes me think that a lot of old tales from the ancient times might have been due to people like yourself.
Visions they saw and took on face value and then preached or retold.

But another thought also occured to me lots of times and this is where I need be careful because I dont want to inspire you to do anything stupid.
What if.... That the framework of our society and culture simply cant coexist with the fact that some people are attuned differently in such a dramatic way that their way of life is a threat to ours?

I've done some psychedelic experimenting and seen some crazy #, nothing completely like yours but up that alley.

The brains bio chem is a magnificent setup, and we probably dont know half yet.
But I personally believe that the universe is way more complex than what we try to explain with words. That beyond this physical world we inhabit as humans in a body is like the top layer of an iceberg and that we also all are capable of experiencing the bottom parts if we want to (find out how).
Something that is perceivable only if the bio chem is just right or the filter is turned off or what ever.

But is that you? I dare not say yes or no.... For in all its glory it must have equal amounts of hell to maintain the natural balance.

Atleast you are one of the few lucky ones with positive voices instead of suicidal voices.

Hope you cope well with it. I have a cousin who is more or less completely functional now after having found his doses of meds.
So it very much possible to lead a normal life under control.

Maybe its better to just play the game of life while here, you'll get back to the fun stuff in the end anyways...



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 03:32 PM
link   
Thank you for your account of this. I am always curious about how other people experience the world. But usually too shy to ask about something so personal.



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 04:03 PM
link   
here is a realistic view from someone who has experienced multiple aspects of hearing voices and seeing things.

My voices started out as sounding like the military and interrogators telling me to lie down and stop breathing.
along the way they put together what i call algorythms that responded to my fear of them.
so if these are hallucinations, they are da** smart ones. because they knew when i was laying down, as i held my breathe they would use a mid-range tone up and down my body. In fact i came up with ways using my imagination to affect them visually.

so here is a list of things i term.."not able to be hallucinations."

tones up and down body
Police sirens affected by my brain to go up and down in pitch
cars passing sounds with no car in sight
sticks breaking/footsteps
shadow man climbs over fence
street lights making chirp sounds as i pass
explosion sounds that stop when i change streets
people appearing and dissapearing in front of me
everything turns red color and see sun move quickly through the sky
a non-humanoid with a black plastic bag, sound follows to different homes
received art in different forms relating to my "scenarios" i was hearing
window holograms
seeing a single particle
feeling electrical like from field
vortex pulled my arm and could hear several times

the application of using magnetic flux could be the enabler of these experiences. When you read about all the similarities in schizophrenia "hallucinations" it all becomes suspect as being not a mass hallucination but a triggered and tracked expirement on the patience and ability of a human mind to stay in the bounds of being remotely caged in a torchurous brain/body oppression/deception.

to prove im telling the truth, those who hear voices and such, if you try using different methods of blocking outgoing signals (?) from your body to walls using "dead" materials like charcoal mesh screen, and conductives wound together like copper and silver bead wire placed on floors, appliances, and see if you can create a blocking method, when you hear them mess up or get stupid, your on the right track. i reached a point where the voices told me what i was doing wouldn't work, many times the voices were correct. the further you go in blocking correctly the more you will see its all a massive deception and attempt to harm your sanity.

note im not blaming anyone because the voices want chaos. ive heard the different messages and expereinces from different people/races. to me its an evil machine run by soulless beasts.
edit on 22-8-2015 by sanitizedinfo because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 04:40 PM
link   
a reply to: intrptr

I don't quite remember the interview where I heard that the NWO agenda, is to take control of people's mind's literally through mind control. One major objective is to control spirituality and spiritual doors or spiritual components of our mental faculties. Basically the objective is to control you and to control any access you might have to "the divine," to "the light," to "god," to the Universal "source" of Peace; The Agenda does not want you to be the owner of your spiritual powers. It does not want you to have access to the spiritual source we ordinarily all have a right explore, discover, and grow towards. The effort is to disrupt and destroy and annihilate your relationship with the Divine Source. That is the NW Order. Through sophisticated technology, satellite technology, DARPA, HAARP, all of these massive government groups and institutions can take over your mental faculties--


What you see: your vision (hallucinatons)

What you hear: your hearing (delusions of voices)

What you feel: your bodily somatic sense (I know I didn't fall down on my own, a force or power threw me down to the ground)

What you smell, etc;

All of this is so highly documented, and people still try to argue against all available evidence. The government is targeting people who have the power to raise consciousness about what the NWO plans are. They are targeting journalists and activists in an effort to slow down the opposition which is attempting to defend an ethical moral future. The future is going to be some type of SCI Fi reality, where everyone is implanted with devices, and where everyone's thoughts and feelings are literally remote controlled by handlers and the like- or simply by some huge Computer System.

www.MindJustice.org (there is a great deal of information on this website about it all). There have been people in the military themselves, working in military intelligence who are targeted because they will not accept this plan and will not accept seeing the American nation controlled in such a way. There are whisteblowers in the military who after having exposed the information, are then they themselves in turn subjected to this type of torture. For many years is has been experimental (Operation Paperclip?), and since 1995-1996 is began going live, especially on the West Coast.

See this video with Leuren Moret: www.youtube.com...
Title: Leuren Moret: DHS uses Berkeley, CA template to overthrow USA -- Gangstalking, EMF, Grid Changes

She speaks about what has been occurring at a very popular campus in California-- Electronic Microwave Frequencies
This is an incredible interview-- everything is real!!
edit on 22-8-2015 by tony9802 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 05:18 PM
link   
I'm classified with the same thing, and hear things all the time, mainly music and whispering. I know its 'only in my head', but I stop to listen to see whats being said lol
Because i know its not real, probably why I dont have hallucinations, I can tell the difference between real and imaginary



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 08:25 PM
link   
originally posted by: tony9802
a reply to: intrptr

All of that was quite compelling. I wanted to try and say something about the control they exhibit over us as citizens to keep us in line.

They already do this through education in schools when we are young, television 'programming', computer programming. Stuff like sports, church, work, society and social events. All are designed to bend our mind to a certain morality, ethos, and schedule for daily activity.

Our jobs, houses, cars, bills, work, taxes, play, hobbies all allowed and fostered to make us conform to the governments will. Make money, pay your tax, vote and support the actions of the government.

The actual control of your mind is different than all that. Thats done through the many drugs they provide, both legal and illegal, alcohol, cigarettes, whatever to anesthetize our concerns we aren''t living our life as we are supposed to.

The can't take away that concern you have, or prevent any spiritual powers that be from breaking through all that if it wants to. Happens all the time. The part of you that is you is secure, never doubt that. They can't take that away.

Relax and enjoy seeing the truth about the world as it really is, be glad of being like that instead of all the seemingly mindless people that follow the program and try to convince you to do the same.

Just observe, you don't have to fight them, they are the lost ones, not you.



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 08:33 PM
link   
a reply to: tony9802

I'm sorry, I tried to watch the You Tube on leuren Moret… too much. Thanks though…



posted on Aug, 22 2015 @ 11:48 PM
link   

originally posted by: Belcastro
Really im just wondering if anyone else on ATS is like me and have any experience with voices and hallucinations, because part of me wants to believe there is more to it than just a medical diagnoses.

I work in a Psychiatric Hospital. It's much more than a diagnosis, it's your life, and possibly the lives of others, so take it serious and treat it.



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 06:16 AM
link   
a reply to: tony9802

I am not going to argue your belief because I don't think anything I have to say is going to sway you. I would like to know how you explain documented cases of people hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there long before modern technology? People who would have never heard the term NWO or would ever be able to fathom such a thing existed? People who had life long afflictions that were not the result of taking any substances?

What about nutrient deficiencies such as b12 deficiency? That is known to cause schizophrenic like symptoms when it is severe.

I am not saying the government is blameless testing of many water supply's show anti-depressants in the water, and of course we all know about fluoride. I just don't think the government is doing things the way you claim, and they are not responsible for the majority of psychosis. If they are responsible for any, the amount is small and more likely to have to do with corporate interest.

Of course my opinions on any government involvement is purely hypothesis and always subject to change based on new information. I think it is dangerous to suggest anything that might keep someone who has a medical condition to not seek help. Do you agree?



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 10:07 AM
link   
i forgot to go into my technical beliefs on the aspects of hearing voices.
to "hear" anything it needs to either cause sound waves (tree falling) or be amplified (headphones).
my theory on amplification of voices would reach through and around the skull, probably using your own bio-electrical field and low level magnetic field. so if the voices are loud, that is actually a small level of amplification using your own biology to send signals or create a speaker like effect in and around the brain itself.
keyword in all this is...(transduction)

DOCTORS, SCIENTISTS..i hope you already know and are doing this!

harmful medications are many and diverse, and some work for others, and others see no results. which should show the creators of the medications that the voices are intelligent and can avoid the medications or use them to resonate.



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 04:26 PM
link   

a reply to: Belcastro
I hallucinate auditory hallucinations and tactile hallucinations as well. Ive heard voices come to me once in a while, usually its a female voice and the first time it came to me it told me it was the egyptian goddess Isis

hahahahaha

Sorry, I am not laughing at you. If you see my posts on Bastet/lilith, then you would probably see why I am laughing. Im laughing because I know your story, and youre not hallucinating. Only in my case I'm at "war" with this being to which I found connected to the Illuminati/powers that be.




After studying psychology, I found that one of the sources of schizophrenia has to do with conflicts between programs inside the mind. Similar to a computer, if you can apply that metaphorically. On one hand, you have the artificial human side which is what society programs you with. On the other hand, there is this other self, or other you that disagrees with society because you know it's a sham. This side can turn dark the more it is suppressed and ultimately may possess you in forms of rage.

But, this part is also telling you many things that you think you know is bs.

Now as for isis/bastet, you could also say that this being possess people. However, I would research more on this if I were you. I only speak based on my own experience and research. But I will tell you this much. You aren't alone nor are you crazy.

Conspiracy? Perhaps or perhaps not.

Time will tell

But Heed my advice/warning.. stay away... from pharma drugs... they will do more damage than good.




They are only in your mind and have no control over you. They are not messages from God [ any God ] and they are not your friends. They are not angels sending you messages or aliens or anything else but the product of your own mind.


What are the chances of a being named isis/bastet/lilith which is what the powers that be worship in bohemian grove, haunting two people in this thread?

Sorry, they are not hallucinations. However he SHOULD stay away from the drugs.

But I will agree with you on one thing.




They are not messages from God [ any God ] and they are not your friends




I forgot to mention, My ex was a new ager who listened alot to the Goddess Isis vortex Mp3's and Bastet Awakening meditation mp3's. If I told you what happened to her, well.. watch the movie "disturbing behavior" from Katie Holmes (actor), and you''ll get an idea on how my ex changed into immoral behavior.

Not to mention, other synchro events of this being possessing my friends. I wasn't hallucinating, those messages are still written inside my inbox in FB. So I am pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating the written messages. To which my friends when they wrote that at the time, could not explain why they spoke those words or where words came from. But the message was meant for only me to understand.


There is a paranormal world out there, but I have grown wise enough NOT to mess with it. I also stopped meditating for certain reasons as well.




edit on rd2015000000Sundayrd000000Sun, 23 Aug 2015 16:30:59 -0500fAmerica/ChicagoSun, 23 Aug 2015 16:30:59 -0500 by SoulSurfer because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 05:02 PM
link   
a reply to: DAVID64




Please, for your safety and the safety of others, don't start thinking these voices are anything but a hallucination. They are only in your mind and have no control over you


and how do you know that.?



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 05:22 PM
link   
a reply to: Belcastro

The main thing to remember, is most people have these thoughts, but can switch them off, the more creative you are, the more real the thoughts become, discipline yourself and use this , it could be a great gift.



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 05:45 PM
link   
a reply to: Belcastro

Did you have any symptoms as a child? If so, what kind? What about mood swings?

I wish you the best!



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 11:29 PM
link   

originally posted by: ckhk3
a reply to: Belcastro

Did you have any symptoms as a child? If so, what kind? What about mood swings?

I wish you the best!



i dont really have mood swings as a child, sure i had the ups and downs like everyone else, but my condition did not occur to me until my early twenties, until then i was completely normal.



posted on Aug, 23 2015 @ 11:30 PM
link   

originally posted by: SoulSurfer

a reply to: Belcastro
I hallucinate auditory hallucinations and tactile hallucinations as well. Ive heard voices come to me once in a while, usually its a female voice and the first time it came to me it told me it was the egyptian goddess Isis

hahahahaha

Sorry, I am not laughing at you. If you see my posts on Bastet/lilith, then you would probably see why I am laughing. Im laughing because I know your story, and youre not hallucinating. Only in my case I'm at "war" with this being to which I found connected to the Illuminati/powers that be.





After studying psychology, I found that one of the sources of schizophrenia has to do with conflicts between programs inside the mind. Similar to a computer, if you can apply that metaphorically. On one hand, you have the artificial human side which is what society programs you with. On the other hand, there is this other self, or other you that disagrees with society because you know it's a sham. This side can turn dark the more it is suppressed and ultimately may possess you in forms of rage.

But, this part is also telling you many things that you think you know is bs.

Now as for isis/bastet, you could also say that this being possess people. However, I would research more on this if I were you. I only speak based on my own experience and research. But I will tell you this much. You aren't alone nor are you crazy.

Conspiracy? Perhaps or perhaps not.

Time will tell

But Heed my advice/warning.. stay away... from pharma drugs... they will do more damage than good.




They are only in your mind and have no control over you. They are not messages from God [ any God ] and they are not your friends. They are not angels sending you messages or aliens or anything else but the product of your own mind.


What are the chances of a being named isis/bastet/lilith which is what the powers that be worship in bohemian grove, haunting two people in this thread?

Sorry, they are not hallucinations. However he SHOULD stay away from the drugs.

But I will agree with you on one thing.




They are not messages from God [ any God ] and they are not your friends




I forgot to mention, My ex was a new ager who listened alot to the Goddess Isis vortex Mp3's and Bastet Awakening meditation mp3's. If I told you what happened to her, well.. watch the movie "disturbing behavior" from Katie Holmes (actor), and you''ll get an idea on how my ex changed into immoral behavior.

Not to mention, other synchro events of this being possessing my friends. I wasn't hallucinating, those messages are still written inside my inbox in FB. So I am pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating the written messages. To which my friends when they wrote that at the time, could not explain why they spoke those words or where words came from. But the message was meant for only me to understand.


There is a paranormal world out there, but I have grown wise enough NOT to mess with it. I also stopped meditating for certain reasons as well.





I dont know if this is relevant, and maybe a little off topic.... But i had a dream where i had said out loud that isis was satan and then she poofed herself out of my body, and tripped and fell before me. then a loud voice told me to bite of her head, and so i did.
edit on 23-8-2015 by Belcastro because: (no reason given)




top topics



 
18
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join