It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


Help ATS via PayPal:
learn more

Hi there. New, have questions. Possibly going nuts.

page: 1
<<   2 >>

log in


posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:14 PM
Part One

Firstly, I feel it necessary to point out that in no way am I alluding to the possibility that – good lord – I have been the victim of any kind of abduction here; for reasons perhaps best discussed at a later date (read: I’m suspending all judgement for the moment) I believe the phenomenon to have a more terrestrial, rational explanation which pertains to Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious. I can’t believe I’m about to post this, frankly.

I admit that I am not the most rational person. I prefer subjective to objective reasoning (inherent psychological trait). I also have a very powerful, visual imagination. However, I am not without intelligence and I’m a reasoned individual with decent powers of deduction. Besides, what is objectivity? A set of agreed upon criteria created by inherently subjective individuals – surely?

I am male, I live in the UK and I’m 29. Right now, that’s all I’m willing to divulge.

My interest in UFOs and extra-terrestrial entities has been with me for almost as long as I can remember. I attribute this to my psychological type (Jung again); I am wired to seek out enigma and enjoy a speculative approach to life. Ambiguity, abstracts and open-endedness fuel my imagination.

At approximately 9 years of age, I saw a UFO. I have no idea where it came from, but whether or not it was terrestrial or extra-terrestrial in nature doesn’t change the facts – it was approximately 40-50ft in diameter, and the underside (which was the only thing I could see) was perfectly circular and illuminated with the purest, most blinding white light I have ever encountered. Without any noise, it sped over the top of our (my mum was driving) car at a height of approx. 20-30ft. It materialised in one horizon and vanished into the other within the matter of a second or two. Whatever it was, man – it was fast. I was only able to ascertain its approximate size because as noted above, it flew directly over our car; although brief, I got a quick look at it before it vanished.

Obviously, my child-mind was blown away by how ‘cool’ this was. My mum, apparently too concentrated on the road, didn’t see anything. Even at that young age I wondered whether it had been some kind of hallucination. After all, I had seen plenty of strange things in my life before witnessing this… but no, I was adamant that the object I witnessed was in fact real. It made perfect sense that my mum wouldn’t see it, because it happened very quickly.

I can’t recall any missing time, but I guess I didn’t know about the phenomenon back then and wouldn’t have checked anyway. I also know that my mum had a lot going on at the time so she wasn’t likely to notice anything strange anyway, as I now know that she was heavily depressed and on the brink of a breakdown.

Throughout my life, I have experienced a plethora of strange phenomena. Phenomena which I previously attributed to ‘the spirit world’, and later ‘blips in the time-stream’ or the crossing over of parallel realities (quantum physics etc.) Below I shall list a few of the more inexplicable ones that have happened to me personally, or to my immediate family:

Incident 1

~ 2-3 years old, I recall climbing out of my cot in the very early AM. I was scared of something chasing me, and I ran (well, waddled I guess) out of my bedroom and in to the hallway. As I got half way down the hall, I was lifted quickly but gently out of the way of whatever was chasing me. I remember being simultaneously terrified, yet calm. I understood that I must under no circumstances turn around to look at my saviour. I floated towards the loft hatch and then everything went dark.

This was probably a dream, but I thought I’d best mention it.

Incident 2

~ 2-4 years old. I recall witnessing a metallic, ball-bearing like object float across the living room. It was roughly the size of a clementine. It floated past silently and gently, coming to rest underneath the couch on the other side of the room. Excitedly, I rushed over to inspect. I found nothing.

Incident 3

~3-4 years old. One Christmas Eve, I heard heavy boots coming up the stairs in the very early AM. I believed it to be Santa Claus. Excited, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. My door opened, and the heavy boots came towards me. What I believed to be Santa leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek, then left again. I was thrilled!

Years later, (well into my twenties) I brought this up with my mum. I told her about how my dad had come in to my room after work one Christmas Eve and given me a kiss, but I thought he was Santa because of the boots. My mum corrected me. For a start, my dad wouldn’t have been working at all on Christmas Eve - let alone so late. Secondly, our house rules have always been ‘no shoes in the house’… so who the hell was wearing boots, and who the hell came in to my room?

Needless to say, the realisation came with a sudden chill…

Incident 4

~ 6-8 years old, and now in a new house.

I got up in the middle of the night / early AM because I needed the toilet - apparently completely unfazed by the dark, which in itself was weird as I used to have terrible night-terrors. Anyway, I exited the bathroom after using the toilet and noticed (the stairs were immediately to the left) that a ~ 4-6inch strip of pure white light, no more than a few mm wide was ‘bouncing’ up the stairs. I stood utterly transfixed by this… until it got to the top of the stairs and turned (slowly) towards me, at which point I became terrified and ran back in to my bedroom and did what any self-respecting minor would do – threw the duvet over my head and hoped for the best!

Incident 5

~ 6 – 10 years old. Very briefly here, I used to have the most tremendously terrifying nightmares, all involving a specific entity which absolutely does not correspond to any ET. It was demonic in nature, and had absolutely no place in the mind of a child. It was way beyond anything most adults could cook up, let alone a kid.

The dreams would start the same way. I’d reach the point of semi-consciousness and become aware of something standing over me. I would feel its hot breath on the back of my neck as it slowly, almost ceremoniously peeled back my duvet. I’d pretend to be asleep, hoping that it’d leave me alone – but it never did. It would begin scratching me and making terrible noises. Occasionally it would flip me over and its menacing stare would meet my own. Fully constricted, pin-prick pupils, blood drenched fangs, long, disproportionate nose. It looked sort of bat-like, but… ugh. All of this seemed to be a very real, physical experience.

The thing terrorised me for years, but one day I’d had enough and, awaiting it, surprised it by leaping out of bed, head-butting it / kicking the living daylights out of it. Its form shrunk to that of a small child as it collapsed against a wall, huddling itself. I told it firmly that if it ever came back to bother me again, I’d kill it. Harsh words, but you have to understand that this entity had plagued my sleep for years.

There was a great sense of relief after this. Inner peace.

It did eventually come back. Once, when I was somewhere between 19 and early 20s. I raised my eyebrow, reminded it of what happened the last time we met… it promptly left and hasn’t returned since.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:15 PM
Part 2

There were other, wolf-like entities which came after the above mentioned had been defeated. These things scared me half to death – even more so than the last, because they would viciously attack me. They would masquerade as my friends and then transform before my eyes, chasing me downstairs etc. I have even woken up with physical evidence of scrapping with them; once I dreamt that I was mortally wounded by having my neck torn open by a vicious bite. I woke up that morning with a large cut on my neck that had miraculously appeared from nowhere. Also, it was almost healed – only a faint line and a few scabs remained – the scabs were spaced apart as tough they had been made by teeth…

I also dreamt that one of these entities threw me against the wall. I woke up the next morning covered in bruises corresponding to the area of impact in the dream.

(I know how utterly ridiculous this sounds).

Perhaps I was simply fighting with myself during the nightmares in question, but that explanation aside I have no idea what could have caused the physical evidence left behind.

These dreams and inexplicable manifestations of corresponding physical injuries left me with a deep sense of fear.

These entities do occasionally return to my dreams, and are usually in pursuit of me. Typically in densely wooded areas, or near to wooded areas.

Incident 6

~ 7-8 years old. I was playing with a GI JOE figure in my front room. I used to pretend that the ammo packs you could clip on to their backs were jetpacks, so I was ‘flying’ one around. The ‘jetpack’ popped off and I saw it bounce under the sofa. I got down on my belly to look for it and – sure enough – there it was; it had gone quite far under, so I stretched my hand out and tried to gasp it. No luck, so I turned my head away and forced my arm under the sofa right up to my shoulder… when suddenly, the jetpack hit me on the head.

No, really.

Puzzled, I checked under sofa and, yep, it really had relocated itself. From under the sofa to presumably thin air, just above my head.

The weirdest part is how blasé I was towards the situation. I thought “Wow, cool!” and carried on playing.

Incident 7

~ Age 7-8 years old.

Sat in the front room with my dad watching TV, I had a clear view of our front door (the dividing doors between hall/living-room were largely comprised of glass).

Imagine our surprise when we heard the always locked front door swing open but, clearly, it remained closed. A second or so later, the front door ‘slammed shut’ with such force that it shook the damn house. Still, the door hadn’t moved.

Immediately after that, something ran upstairs (the stairs were directly in front of you as you entered the house) in what sounded like heavy boots. Very loud. So loud that my mum came running through from the kitchen wondering what the hell was going on. My dad and I leapt out of our chairs and proceeded to check the front door. Locked. Obviously.

We checked around upstairs but there was no sign of any kind of disturbance, and no further noises after the event.

Being a shared experience made it all the more real. To this day we can’t explain it. No windows open, all doors closed… even if you did try to explain it as a ‘draft’, there was absolutely no physical action / reaction in the environment. It was all auditory, and yes – the house was detached. It was also broad daylight.

Incident 8

Age 9.

Whilst in lesson (maths) I had a premonition of someone’s death. I won’t go into details, but the premonition itself was like a black and white overlay – my mind’s eye suddenly took priority, and I saw the scene as a fluid event as though an observer. Strangely, in spite of being predominantly black and white there were certain objects which had colou.

To cut a long story short, what I saw – and it was very specific – came true ~ two weeks later right down to the fine detail. A friend of my dad died in a tragic accident which I apparently foresaw.

Having relayed the ‘vision’ to my parents the day of experiencing it, they were as white as sheets when, two weeks later, they were asking me once again for the details. I asked what was up and they confirmed that what I saw had come to pass. Coincidence? Perhaps.

That was the end of an era in my life. Up until seeing that I had experienced a plethora of apparently inexplicable things. That finished me off. I was terrified – and so were my parents, who thought that I had some kind of ‘’’’gift’’’’.

Incident 9

Age 11. My mum and dad had just left the house, and my puppy, Jack (Manchester Terrier) was fast asleep on my lap whilst I quietly watched the TV. Suddenly, Jack sat bolt upright and began to growl angrily at the door through to the kitchen.

Slowly, his head traced a line from the kitchen to the sofa on the opposite side of the room. About mid-way on the sofa, his gaze dropped down as if whatever was there suddenly sat down. At this point, Jack went absolutely batsh*t insane, leapt off my lap and furiously barked at what I perceived to be thin air.

Man, I can’t tell you how scared I was.

Incident 10

Note: because of my childhood experiences, and because my ability to think rationally was somewhat non-existent until about 25/26, I sought answers to my questions by joining a few ‘New Age’ (ugh!) spirituality groups. Of course, I didn’t find what I was looking for – but the involvement did spark a few strange occurrences in my life.

~20-22 years old. New house.

I awoke in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. When I went to the sink in order to wash my hands, I noticed in the mirror that my already blue irises were glowing a bright, luminous blue. I know – this sounds ludicrous. Think ‘Kate Beckinsale in Underworld’, but not quite as vivid. I examined more closely, pinched myself a few times to ensure that I was indeed awake and lucid. I was.

The luminosity quickly faded, but for at least 15-20 seconds my eyes were quite obviously luminous and emanating light. To my knowledge, this hadn’t occurred before and hasn’t reoccurred since. I have no explanation as to what could have caused the phenomena. These days I wear contact lenses, but I didn’t at the time.

Incident 11

~ 22-24 years old. I believe it was a Christmas Eve. I awoke very early AM to what appeared to be a room which was a hive of activity. I had the distinct impression that there were many entities in my room, all milling about busily. It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, but the energy of what was going on around me was palpable, but not directly perceptible via conventional means.

Incident 12

Very recently, perhaps less than 12 months ago, I dreamt that I was in a clearing of a heavily wooded area surrounded by small grey ETs and other humans; we humans were in a state of semi-consciousness. It was fairly dark – probably just before sunrise. There was what looked to be a triangular craft about 50m away. One of the greys looked at me. I felt no fear, but I didn’t appreciate his or her gaze. It wasn’t comfortable. Then, darkness.

Many more incidents have occurred, both with myself and other members of my family. Briefly:

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:16 PM
Part 3

- I have awoken numerous times at night with a start; this isn’t normal, and when it does happen it usually occurs frequently within a period of a couple of weeks. It typically manifests as either sitting bolt-upright in bed, or waking suddenly filled with terror, as though something is seriously wrong.

- A few years back, I woke up completely unable to breathe and in a state of terrific panic upwards of 5 times over a period of 2-4 weeks. This always occurred early AM, and I made enough noise to wake everyone else in the house up. Apparently the noises I made were ‘Demonic’; I was legitimately fighting for my breath because I thought I was dying.

At the time I attributed this to some kind of asthma attack, as I had asthma as a child… but realistically? I’m as strong as an ox, and my asthma was grown out of before I hit my teens.

- I have dreams about flying often– most often to escape some kind of ground based threat. Occasionally, I am being pursued aerially too.

- I often have dreams about floating out of my bed and through the window, or through the roof. I previously attributed these to some kind of lucid dream.

- I’ve experienced plenty of dreams pertaining to aliens and UFOs. Usually the UFOs appear in the distance, and I must evade them to avoid being abducted. Usually I’m successful. If not, I’m taken aboard and tend not to know anything past that point; very rarely I’ll have a relatively positive experience and be transitioned into another dream.

- As a child, I’d sometimes see shadowy figures in my periphery vision. Turning to face them head on would result in their running away at incredible speeds – often through walls. I never felt threatened by these, but observed and somewhat uncomfortable about it.

- I have frequently seen balls of light, flashes of light, etc. All different colours, sizes, you name it. As a child I attributed this to ‘spirits’; as an adult merely some weird eye thing – perhaps related to strain, as I spend a lot of time looking at computer screens.

- I have frequently felt a presence near me. Sometimes it bores in to me in an extremely uncomfortable way. Intense and terrifying. Other times it’s just a “Huh?” *turn around only to be met with nothing*

- I have had experiences which are far more vivid than this reality. ‘Dreams’ where I wake up in some kind of pod, and I’m surrounded by individuals who tell me that it “Isn’t your time” and “Everything is ok, be calm” and then boom – I’m sat bolt upright in my own bed wondering why this ‘reality’ is so dreamlike and dense.

- Many dreams of being in a body which isn’t my own – sometimes in a testing facility, surrounded by many other individuals who are subjected to all kinds of tests. Typically, everyone is subdued.

- Very often get overpowering ‘static’ like sounds in one ear, sometimes both. When younger I had the impression that someone or something was trying to communicate with me, but I couldn’t figure it out. Nowadays it’s just bloody annoying and – if dark and in bed – terrifying.

- My grandma has had many a ‘psychic’ experience. Many are notable, but I find most intriguing the instances where she has seen neon numbers above people’s houses. Said numbers make up a date, and on the occasions she has seen these numbers the occupant of the house has died on that date. Also, she more often than not hears three loud bangs before someone close to her dies.

- A few years back, my dad (who was in the bedroom alone – my mum had fallen asleep on the sofa, and I was out) apparently woke up in a state of hysteria. My mum recalls that he was screaming things like “Get away from me!”, “Leave me alone!”, “GET OFF ME!” “F**K OFF!”, etc. He then rushed from the bedroom in what my mum described as absolute terror and began to brush his teeth so furiously that he had to be wrestled with in order to get him to calm down. To this day he won’t mention the event, nor the ones not dissimilar that have happened prior.

My dad has a deeply secretive side to him. When I talk about most ‘out there’ subjects, he laughs and mocks… but the one time I brought up ETs and UFOs, he surprised me with his knowledge on the subject; he went on to tell me that he read Chariots of the Gods way back in the late 60s / early 70s when it was hot off the press here in the UK.

He has seen, and experienced probably more than myself – but he never lets on, and only tells of certain things long, long after the event has occurred. Years, in fact.

My mum has also experienced some strange phenomena, usually involving balls of light around the house, or things which could perhaps be attributed to sleep paralysis.

.... and finally, for a bit of fun – this actually happened to me, and I couldn’t believe how cruddy it was.

A couple of years back I watched ‘The Fourth Kind’, which crapped me up no end because I’m not at all a fan of horror. Anyone who has seen the film will know that 3:33am is significant… so what time do I wake up the night of watching the film? You guessed it!

*wakes up*

“Man, it’s still dark – wth?”

*checks phone – 3:33am*

*leaps out of bed > all lights on > ohmygodohmygod###noowlsnoowlsitisn’tanowl!*

I dunno. All of this sounds crazy – I know that, but after conducting some research recently (and also speaking with a good friend who ‘gets’ me) I have started to connect a few very disconcerting dots. However, I have never:

- Awoken with any ‘obvious’ scars, or puncture marks, aforementioned and apparently non-ET related examples above
- Consciously been aware of any lost time
- Experienced any kind of ‘screen memory’ that I know of
- Apart from perhaps once, I have never ‘dreamt’ of being examined.

When I began this research a few months back, I initially had to cease and desist. I felt something very dark and troublesome within me, something which belonged to the past and should absolutely remain there. It was confronting, and I damn near went out of my mind with worry. Amazingly I was able to talk openly with my wife about this, and she not only understood me but went on to mention some of her own ‘weird’ experiences, and how she’s adamant that we share this reality with entities that exist outside of our perception. That gave me some courage, and eventually (now) I have come back to the subject with renewed fervour… but it’s no less disconcerting, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m going mad.

I never quite feel safe, and I’ve experienced very poor self-esteem over the years. I’m building it back up now, but I’ve never understood the security thing. I’m a person who would happily pick a backpack up and make my own way to the other side of the planet, but I feel on some level that something insidious lurks at every turn. I have no idea why – I’m strong, I sit between 6ft 2”- 3” and I can certainly handle myself. The reality is that even if someone or a group of people came at me, at least one of them is going down with one or more broken bones… there is absolutely no apparent reason for this constant fear – something which I didn’t really have as a kid; even the nightmares weren’t enough to scare me away from the reality of people… but now? I have a deep fear of losing control. It’s strange. Fear of physical harm – even though I don’t fear physical harm – is constant. I just… ugh. Do you see? Contradictions. It makes no sense.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:17 PM
Part 4

What do you guys think? Active imagination? Sensitivity to things which lie outside the normal human spectrum of perception? Or something else? Idiocy, perhaps!

I welcome any and all feedback. If you’d like to know more, or delve into specifics, please get in touch with me via PM. Always happy to connect with those who can share similar experiences, or bring clarity to what, admittedly, is fast becoming a bit of a worry.

There's probably loads that I have missed, as I’ve typed this up in (almost) one sitting. Apologies for typos or bad grammar.

It's important that I re-inforce what I touched upon earlier: I am not for one second proposing that the abduction phenomena is affecting me personally; what I am doing is pouring my innards out and saying “Hey – does anyone else have this kind of thing going on?” I thought everyone had weird experiences to a degree, but apparently not. I’d just like to get some new perspectives on this.

… I’m going to take a break now. I need some fresh air.

Thanks for reading.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:17 PM
going to read all this later. for now i'll say hello and welcome

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:19 PM
a reply to: RoScoLaz4

Thanks, and apologies for the tsunami of text.

Hope to see you around the board

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:26 PM
What led you to post this here and now?

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:26 PM
a reply to: pjnf85

Wow, i'll bet you feel alot better after getting all of that out... i'd say you have some interesting brain chemistry to say the least, maybe your whole family. I'm fairly sceptical with the paranormal but you've made a really vivid account.

You aint really meant to post threads in this section, it's only to say "hi", you need 20 posts before you can make a thread

I reckon a nice mod will just move this to "The Gray Area" instead as it's interesting stuff.

And welcome

edit on 11-4-2015 by skalla because: typo

edit on 11-4-2015 by skalla because: bleh

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:27 PM
a reply to: pjnf85

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:29 PM
a reply to: pjnf85

What an introduction, i don't know if this ever happened before, usually we first say a "Hi" and then tell our stories, would have done it more good, because not everybody bothers to read intros and your story deserves a wider audience.

Anyhoo, since you're already here and like to write, come on:
Join the agency!

Enjoy the carnival of follies for fools!
The sanctuary with T&C rules

Because as you surely know, my new psychologically experienced friend: Humour is the best way to cope with reality.
edit on 11-4-2015 by Peeple because: "rrrr"

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:31 PM
Welcome and interesting history!

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:41 PM
wow! if true,
you have had one interesting life.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:56 PM
a reply to: pjnf85

Incredible read and I'm sure many here can relate to at least some (if not most) of what you wrote.

Since we aren't supposed to have full-on threads in the intro section, do you think you'd be able to post all of this again after you settle in? I'd love to see a thread on this.

Welcome to ATS and all that jazz!

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 02:58 PM

originally posted by: Cuervodo you think you'd be able to post all of this again after you settle in? I'd love to see a thread on this.!

agreed and echoed.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:04 PM
Welcome and thanks for the read...long but kept my attention.

Not sure what to say other than....hmmmm

Many differant things going on at once.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:28 PM
Welcome and wow!

After all that I hope you still have something to share!

Surely you are saving the best till last?

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:46 PM
a reply to: pjnf85

One of the best if not THE best intro I have read on ATS.

Some of what you have experienced has also happened to me.

Please do not think you are going mad because your not.

You are lucky to have a good wife who understands and has also had experiences. You will find a lot of members here who have had similar experiences so you will be at home here.

Looking forward to reading more from you and after all that typing you deserve a beer.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:55 PM
Hi all, and thanks for the replies. It does indeed feel good to get it all off my chest, and yes - I'd be more than happy to share again at a later date.

originally posted by: Serdgiam
What led you to post this here and now?

Mainly the fact that I've been holding on to this stuff for way too long. Pressure builds and eventually I guess it just has to come out.

There is lots more to tell. Again, I myself am sceptical of all these things. Open-minded, certainly, but after my brush with the New Age movement in my early twenties I tend to be a much more analytical thinker these days. I'm usually one of the first people to call BS on something. For example, the UFO captured over Turkey in 2008/9 (

My initial response was "Why the hell does a space-fairing race need a window? Even if they did need a window, why the hell haven't they heard of tinting?"

I have no doubt that the tech exists - I have seen some of it first hand (mentioned in my post) but this? All too obvious. Smacks of further misinformation. Fear > control, etc.

Oh, and for what it's worth everything I say is true. The universe is, obviously as complex as it is vast - and then some. I try to rationalise things as best I can, but we don't yet have all the answers. I suppose some things simply can't be known yet.

I look forward to reading / contributing more around the forum. Take care

edit on 11-4-2015 by pjnf85 because: Some weird text formatting occurred.

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:57 PM
What an incredible story, jeez! You mention "dreaming" a lot. I can't help but think you must be able to lucid dream quite easily and probably are, more than you could know. Oh, not a single thing you wrote sounds ridiculous at all. I can't wait till your able to post more such incredible events. Thanks and welcome.

a reply to: pjnf85

posted on Apr, 11 2015 @ 03:58 PM

Enjoyed reading your introduction. Right away I can tell you have a way of remembering events and explaining them with great detail and an open mind. I do hope you continue to share your experiences here on ATS. I don't think your going mad at all. I think there is a lot we don't know.

I can relate to your experiences of balls of light, shadow figures, out of body experiences, waking up terrified unable to move-fighting to open eyes only to see the room as a distorted version when getting a small peek.

This life can be pretty out there, but it does leave it open ended, interesting, and full of wonder/possibilities.

top topics

<<   2 >>

log in