I've been married for all of 41 years to the same woman. I, literally, married, 'the woman of my dreams'. The day I met her she was so beautiful
that I could actually feel my heart gently pounding inside my chest. She graduated summa cum laude from her university; I didn't. She has, almost
always throughout our marriage, earned more money than I have; and she won't allow me to balance the family checkbook. Who cares! I know I don't.
She thinks I'm smart; she thinks I'm a good athlete; she thinks I'm good-looking, too; or, at least, I used to be. (I know she dated better looking,
more athletic men before we met; but that's never seemed to matter.)
None of that silly superficial stuff really matters! We communicate well; we implicitly trust one another; and we, both, feel that we'd rather be
together than anywhere else. (Even after 40 years, when she talks to me, I'll still turn off the radio, or lower the volume in order to hear what she
has to say.) On her part I'd have to say that she, 'spoils me rotten'. I always get whatever I want; and I've (sort of) abused the privilege by
coming home, on occasion, with something outrageous like a new dog, or a new car. Did she care? No, she thinks my taste in everything, as well as my
judgment of people-in-general is always, 'spot on'.
Me? I'll eat anything she puts in front of me. She usually does the cooking; but, like most adult Sicilian males I'm a gourmet chef; and, every now
and then, I'll whip up something special. Neither one of us likes to argue; we don't like to upset anyone in the family - Not even the animals! So
things are usually pretty quiet around here. Before we were married she told me that if I ever became involved with another woman she'd leave me. I
believed her; and I never have; in fact I've only rarely, if ever, even thought about it.
I think the trust (Fleming's necessary, 'Quantum of Solace') that exists between us goes a long way toward explaining the length of our relationship.
Good looks and brains can wear off. Mutual trust, innate cooperation, and, 'easy on the nerves' companionship do not.
Anyway, in all new relationships, there is a tendency to marry yourself - to marry your illusions. An older woman once asked me, 'How long have the
two of you been married?' I replied, 'About 20 years.' She thought for a moment before remarking, 'Then yours is a long term relationship.' I asked
her what brought that up; and she said, 'You're, both, very different from each other!' I had to think for a moment before replying, 'Yes, we are
different people; but we, each, trust and enjoy one another.' The woman just nodded her head in agreement.
Why am I telling you this? Don't, 'sweat the small stuff'. Sometimes you've got to give the other person a fair chance to demonstrate who he (she)
really is. When we first met; I can honestly say that my wife didn't like me; she even volunteered that we wouldn't be going out again. That didn't
happen! When I heard her say that I replied, 'You know, you could be a little more fair!' 'I mean, after all, you don't even know me.' She agreed;
and I got that second (actually third) date.
edit on 21-1-2015 by FortuneHunter because: (no reason given)