Could you handle a GF/Wife who was smarter/richer/stronger/taller/more successful than you?

it realy all boils down to character and being more or less dominate or submissive. sounds like that woman you use as an example is more dominate then the average lady. so of course she will be happier with a more submissive man which is uncommon

Dated many Asian girls before marrying my Korean wife.

She's strong willed, talented, a hard worker, smart and beautiful.

She grew up in a house that waited on men hand and foot as well but I soon showed her that we are partners in life and we are equal in all ways but...

But...She still has the desire to serve supper, care for me when I'm sick and if I pushed it she would defer to almost everything I suggest but to use that because of her upbringing would make me an ass not worthy of such a great partner.

Needless to say we have defined our roles along somewhat traditional lines but we also cross over. I am not afraid to do the dishes or cook and she isn't afraid of hard labor type of jobs either. We are chefs and bakers that have our own skills in the kitchen but we also lean on each other for learning.

Where was I?

Oh yeah!

Covered everything but the earning. If she earned more than me...fantastic! She would have no problem sharing and I would have no problem spending. As it is, we earn together so no issues there.

All in all...we are equal but know that we are MAN and WOMAN and are not ashamed to be ourselves nor do we take each role for granted.

Hope that answers the question...

Peace

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff
There are plenty of guys who THINK they would love to have a woman like your lady friend, but when they actually date one, things fall apart quickly. They find out they can't handle a self-possessed woman who doesn't NEED them. They start feeling inferior, and their ego sits in the corner and cries.

To my mind, the self-possessed woman is what our society needs to put things back in balance. You can't oppress one gender, and expect that social evolution isn't going to be lopsided. Just look at our society objectively, and you can see it clearly. But in answer to your original question:

Yes. Absolutely. We need that to be the standard among women, because giving our women their rightful place beside us, instead of behind or below us, will also produce a self-possessed man who values and respects the feminine of his species.

A successful woman doesn't bother me. In fact, I was specifically looking for a woman who was intelligent, opinionated, and successful. I didn't want a Stepford wife. My wife is very successful. I expect that within the next year, she will probably be making as much as me. She has risen through the corporate ranks. It doesn't bother me at all. Marriage is a partnership. You just have to know what is expected out of each other.

For many women, I do think that no matter how successful they may become, they still expect a man to be the breadwinner. This can cause obvious problems. For example, I know some women who are at the top of their game in the finance world. Unless they are willing to date a pro athlete or entertainer, the odds of them finding a man who isn't in the same field that makes similar or more money is slim to none. These women seem to be perpetually single, cold, and unwanted.

With that said, I've also seem some slight changes in roles as well. My job is very flexible, so in a way I am playing Mr. Mom with our young child. I stay home a day or two per week and do the traditional stay home duties. I'm like the only guy pushing a stroller at the grocery store in the afternoon! I have another family friend whose wife is a CEO of a successful company. He just stays home taking care of the kids and doesn't work. I also have another friend in the same situation where his wife is high up at a f500 company, so he stays home. For men, you just have to be confident in yourself and regardless of the woman's income, they must respect you as a man.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

I think it really does not matter so long as both love one another and that is the point.
Anway seriously having a conversation with someone less intelligent is less than stimulating and a relationship with someone thick has this downside but usually woman are equal to men anyway it is not what we know but what area's of individual knowledge and information we store up so I may know more about electronic's but she is a better talker and know's more about healthy eating?.
Ego is a problem if a guy feel's like he is a leeching from his wife he may feel somehow emasculated but that mindset is in the west anyway today not that common, still some of us are traditional in our way of thinking but it really should not matter.

a reply to: Klassified

That is sort of my experience and well done to you for seeing things clearly and objectively. Society is too lopsided and that needs fixing.

My wife of twenty years is an assistant vice president of a credit union and I have no trouble playing snuggle bunnies with her every night. We are both successful people though. Does that make a difference?

Could you handle a GF/Wife who was smarter/richer/stronger/taller/more successful than you?

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head as to some of the requirements I demand of my Girlfriends both future and past.

They must be at least equal or better than me in at 3 out of five. Anything less and I can be friends, but no chance of a relationship.

I've lowered my standards to many times before and it always ended badly. I'd rather stay single the rest of my life than make them mistakes again.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Do those exist?

a reply to: Edumakated

For men, you just have to be confident in yourself and regardless of the woman's income, they must respect you as a man.

For women, this seems to come easier. They don't have as much of a problem giving respect where it is due.

I find it interesting that those(men and women) in the upper income brackets have figured this out, yet many in the lower income brackets are still stuck in the patriarchal mindset, and can't seem to see beyond it. And since they are the majority of our population, that's where we need to see the change most.

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

I would prefer her to be weaker, obviously -- I mean, I don't want to marry a dude -- but I could handle her being superior, in every way, except for perception.

Perception is absolutely a man's role, and that's where I would have to draw the line.

Men perceive, and women conceive.

Men build up and protect their houses, to store their valuables therein, and women are those houses, and they maintain and beautify themselves with the valuables. You know, "nag nag, go get me a twig, nag nag, the nest must be beautiful and filled with valuables, nag nag." And if the women didn't nag at least a little, the place would look like crap, and none of the little ones would be nurtured -- it would be a disaster.

And yes, I'm sexist, but not a male chauvinist. If you want to call me chauvinistic then you might as well be calling your own bodies chauvinistic as well - it's what we are, and there's no use in denying it.

a reply to: Bleeeeep
Can you define perception as you are using it in your post?

Just to clarify, it was my comments on another thread to which the opening post in this thread refers.

My experience is that getting boyfriends is not difficult, however I have historically chosen men for a combination of physical attributes and personality, some well educated, some intelligent but not academic. I have to say that physical attraction always weighs top of the list as it matters to me. I have been engaged a few times but all of those men were controlling, in that they praised me (which doesn't really sit that well with me, not being very egotistical), and told me I needed ''looking after'' and some all too happy for me to pay more than my share of the bills /dinner etc but they still expected me to essentially ''know they were the boss'' if that makes sense and more often than not refused to engage in intelligent conversation as they were more interested in just chilling and when the topic of male /female roles in society appeared, they all believed men as natural leaders and women more as followers.

I often found myself being subservient to keep the peace. I was also very aware in those relationships that these men considered it okay that they went out with the guys and sometimes were flirty to other women but were insanely jealous if I were to do the same, even suggesting I was seeing other men if they looked at me whilst shopping etc.

For years I settled for relationships that were controlling but familiar, but they weren't satisfy my needs for an intelligent partner that trusts and values me as at least an equal on all levels as well as long term commitments and physical attraction.

The men I find most physically attractive are the typical good looking, tall, athletic etc type of guys, these guys find it easy to get women and they have relationship priorities, ie. putting his needs first, in the bedroom, career, vacations, interests, house, location, looking after him etc, and not questioning their overall authority. There are plenty of women that will just go along with all that without putting their needs first or questioning anything, or wanting to have intelligent discussions.

Effectively, women are women and are attracted to men because they are men, masculine etc and likewise men being attracted to women because of feminine attributes. The psychological connotations of women being subordinate in society historically has ramifications in male /female relationships that we are seeing as a society today.

Traditional roles aren't so prevalent now and because that is a relatively recent development, in that many men were brought up in those traditional value households and still see themselves as better due to having a Y chromosome, and women having the chances for exploring their own goals in academia and career, as well as being seen as equal in law, albeit still treated differently in certain media (she is wearing /he said), both men and women are experiencing inconsistencies in society and expectations of them as men /women and their roles in relationships. Despite more equality for women, more than ever, women are being portrayed in media as sexual objects, many even having surgery as a means of trying to achieve an 'ideal'. Men are still earning far more for doing the same jobs and undeniably the top strata of influential industry /banking /governments are still functionally old boy networks.

That in itself is not a great move forward for humanity, ''here ladies you can study and work but you should look slutty and available for your boss if you want to get ahead'' and ''now you can pay your way, work while also procreating and being a mother, but just remember who is boss''.

There should be a better balance of power in society and women valued for their minds more. The value of ethics should be prevalent instead of demoralising women and applauding men based on their chromosomes.

a reply to: theabsolutetruth

There are points you made that ring true for me also. The concerns we have/had disappeared when I met Mr Zazz a geology/orbital mechanics super nerd.

Go the nerd every time gals.
Relationships by what the OP asks means the individuals are somehow in competition, when they are a partnership.

Wouldnt bother me .. but prefer not getting involved these days dont need the drama .. stress and bull# women create ... let them find some poor idiot who will put up with their antics have better things to do with my time ..

a reply to: Klassified

You joking? Jokes?

Woman bird says, "why don't you understand and know how I feel?"

Man bird says, "okay, if I want to give her my twig without fighting, I must learn to perceive what her desires are without her telling me outright."

Without a woman to give his twig to, war breaks out with men fighting over who will be forced to take the other man's twig.

Girly men like other men's twigs.

A superior ability of perception; a superior ability to discern and comprehend; an aptitude for perceiving; the thing you didn't do.

Perceptions, concepts, twigs, what's the difference?

Conceive the concept. Awareness reproduction. Image an awareness. Evolution. Be. Etc.

Better?

originally posted by: Expat888
Wouldnt bother me .. but prefer not getting involved these days dont need the drama .. stress and bull# women create ... let them find some poor idiot who will put up with their antics have better things to do with my time ..

LOL

If I remember correctly from 1 of your posts in an old thread you are living in Asia, mind if I ask what country?
Is it Laos, Cambo or Thailand by any chance and if not have you spent much time there?
You seem awfully jaded but if you have been in those places awhile it would make sense haha

a reply to: theabsolutetruth

Thanks for coming by, I hoped you would

I find it interesting that even as a strong and intelligent woman (based purely on posts of yours Ive read) that you still chose to play the Sub role to keep things happy.

So why do you feel that you accepted and played this role? was it because you thought it was what was expected from the woman? coz you didnt want to lose the guy/be alone? or something else?

In my younger days (late teens- early 20's) I was a complete man whore, I cheated on and was caught by my 1st 4 girlfriends. When I broke the heart of a girl I could easily have married and probably should have in hindsight, I had a chance to reflect on my behavior. I came to the conclusion I did what I did as I thought it was what men wre supposed to do
Both my RL role models and the media always glorified promiscuous men and I assumed it was what being a man was all about. In those days my sense of self worth as a man was determined by how many women I was capable of getting into bed.

Was your acceptance of being 2nd class in your relationships down to a similar sort of subconscious programming?

And how about things nowadays? are you in or have you had healthier more even relationships?

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

Most year out in the border region between them .. with visits to my kids and their families in vietnam .. china and back in japan ..
Grew up in japan after the war when my parents went back when they were released from the americans internment camp .. been all over world over the years but always return to asia .. its home .. after four tours with s.o.g in vietnam in the 60s .. running clinic in cambodia during the pol pot years .. treating patients in war zones and disaster areas over the years since.. 13 ex-wives along the way .. grown quite cynical of human nature .. now just trying to keep what little remains of my sanity intact .. along with trying find place can live in peace and tranquillity .. far too independent .. combined with my p.t.s.d .. being a cynical old bastard .. am first to admit Id be a poor catch .. besides can enjoy a drink and cigar out in my hammock without getting nagged to death for it ..
I hold dual japanese / u.s citizenship .. though use my japanese one these days ..

A friend and I use to joke about dating very successful women. We would say most guys claim they don't have a problem with it until the first argument when the woman tells the guy, "STFU, I pay the bills in this house!"