The idea for this thread came to me from a few places
1) Something a girl I was dating about 5 years ago said
2) A conversation I had with a Korean Girl 2 days ago
3) A thread posted on ATS today I Write Like A Dude
and in particular 1 post, 2 from
the top on the 2nd page
So 5 years ago while in Malaysia I was dating a girl who was very attractive, came from a wealthy family, had a high paying job, was very successful,
had a great sense of humour and I dont just mean she found me funny but she was also funny and so much so she did a bit of stand up comedy and
surprisingly was very good (I hate to admit but I find very few female comics that great), she was clever as sh!t and could talk intelligently on any
topic you cared to mention and on top of all that was confident to boot. Not arrogant mind you.
So anyway as you can guess I was quite smitten and after we had been dating about a month it hit me how truly amazing this woman was, I asked her how
it was I was so lucky and that she was still single, it was more of a rhetorical question/compliment but she answered and it has made me think ever
She said because men (and not just Asian men, she had been dating mostly Westerners) were scared of her, not because she was all the things I listed
above but because she didnt need a man for anything and men need to feel needed and superior!!! According to her theory they need to know the woman
couldnt get by or would at least struggle if they (or another man) werent around.
I questioned the validity of that statement and said maybe they were just intimidated, I suggested that perhaps since she was so attractive and
outspoken men had a hard time approaching her. She explained she got approached all the time and even went on quite a few dates but men very quickly
ran away, I was the first guy in 3 years who had gone out with her more than 4 times!!!!
She explained she did want a man in her life (but didnt need one for anything) and had learnt to tone down most aspects of her personality and to not
talk about her achievements too much.
I was skeptical and just assumed there was more to it
So moving on 5 years, 2 days ago Im having dinner with a lovely Korean lady, not sure if it was a date as Im helping her with a thesis but we did get
into a very date like convo and it had a distinctly date like feel. we were talking about ex's and she asked if I had ever dated a Korean, I said I
hadnt but I had dated a Japanese girl and I assumed they had many similarities, she asked how so and I explained they were both 1st world countries
where women had equal opportunities as men but were still very docile and submissive compared to Western women. She disagreed and asked why I stopped
seeing the Japanese girl.
I told her the story of maybe the 10th time we saw each other, to cut a long story short the Japanese chick was a pleaser, she never had an opinion
and when asked what she wanted to do would always say "whatever you want to do" that suited me fine the 1st few times we went out but quickly got
boring and even frustrating
At around date 10 I insisted she decided what we did, after much stress and reluctance on her side she finally suggested (more asked) we do dinner at
her place. I thought it was a great idea and told her I would bring it over, after 30 min of trying to get her to decide what she wanted I gave up and
told her I would surprise her. I turned up with a bag of groceries and was going to cook, this poor girl nearly had a fit literally screaming "Boys
dont cook, Boys dont cook" she wanted to make it while I sat down but after I explained she wouldnt know how to cook it and told her if she liked she
could help by cutting some stuff up she relaxed a bit, when there was nothing left for her to do she literally sat watching me while wringing her
hands together rocking back and forward with a look of worry on her face. after it was in the oven everything was fine till after dinner when I went
to pick up the dishes from the table, the look of horror on her face scared the crap out of me and this tiny Japanese girl literally threw me across
the room while screeching "NO NO!!!! Boys dont clean, boys dont clean!!!" and proceeded to take everything to the sink and frantically wash while
watching me over her shoulder with a look of panic.
I was actually frightened, not of her but of what would happen if we stayed together, it sounds great in theory to have someone willing to wait on
you hand and foot while expecting nothing but how long till you take it for granted? How long can you maintain any sort of respect for someone who
acts like a slave and is happy doing it with nothing in return? That was the 2nd last time I saw the Japanese girl.
My Korean friend after hearing the story agreed that many Korean women were also like this and it is just the way they were brought up, it was never
explicitly stated or told to her she should act a certain way but you just knew you did whatever you could to keep the man happy and always agreed
with him. Luckily so far she does not fit into this stereotype
To be fair the above to examples are both from Asian cultures but now we have todays thread, Ill quote a bit but the thread itself is worth checking
out. From a Female member I assume to be western speaking about western guys
It appears some men do not like women that think above their level. I have had boyfriends that literally said they believed men as ''superior''
intellectually and otherwise. They weren't boyfriends much longer after those comments.
and from an article quoted in the above members post
Men have been taught or conditioned to believe they are superior, when a woman shows a competitive edge, he becomes threatened.
Men aren’t ready to accept being second in the bread-winning competition and this is causing women to either settle or stay single.
You may be sensitive, sweet and insecure, but your intelligence makes you threatening. You may not have muscles and a big d*ck, but men will look at
you as competition. While most intelligent women aren’t pompous or arrogant about it, many times men assume they are. They assume the woman is going
to correct them, upstage them or, God-forbid, make them feel worthless.
Society has come to teach women that being funny and smart won’t get you dates, but empty heads and shallow hearts will.
So what I want to know is how many Men here would be threatened by a woman who was better than you in one or more of the "traditionally masculine"
areas? would any of the issues in the Thread title be a deal breaker for you? Have you ever dated someone who was "superior" in any of those regards?
Would you want a totally submissive partner who was at your beck and call,always deferred to your judgement etc etc?
And to the Ladys, do you really feel like men are threatened by all the stuff mentioned? do you try and dumb down/downplay certain aspects of yourself
to cater to what you perceive as the fragile male ego? have you experienced men being threatened by you on a regular basis or just in isolated
incidents? do you feel like men really want the quiet, docile, dotting servant type?
If you managed to get through the above long winded essay (LOL) please comment and share your thoughts/experiences on the topic.
I look forward to reading them
edit on 21/1/2015 by IkNOwSTuff because: (no reason given)