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The Loss of Femininity in The USA

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+26 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 12:55 PM
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There is no doubt that women have taken the bull by the horns these days and empowered themselves in the workforce. Today many women are making as much or more than their male counterparts; from a financial and status perspective this is a great accomplishment, but feminine qualities have been cast aside and left to die a slow death.



Unless men are gay, or not interested in relationships, they seek the opposite sex, and feminine qualities are what helps attract, draw, and keep men interested in their mates, the more feminine the more attractive. Today the loss of femininity has devastated the playing field for not just relationships, but traditional families that are trying to remain together. The rejection of feminine qualities might very well be the undoing of our society.

Here's a question can a woman still retain feminine qualities be in a work environment and maintain a family life?

Defining “Feminine qualities” the term seems to be subjective these days due to the media and the feminist movement, so what does feminine mean to us men.

Thoughtfulness- is something we see very little of these days but encompasses elements of thoughtfulness nurturing, care and consideration. People who are thoughtful place others ahead of themselves and very rarely expect anything in return.

Beauty- In beauty there is warm softness, in some cases a slight curviness, or it can be fragile delicateness that speaks softly. It’s something that is striking, but it doesn’t strike. Beauty can be touching, mesmerizing, heart-stopping, but it’s not something that has to be forced or sold. Beauty in women exists naturally.

Vulnerability – a way for women to show they are not strong in everything, show a weakness that perhaps men can step up and assert their manliness, strength and willingness to take care of situations that women don’t have the physical strength to handle the situation. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but an admission that one cannot handle everything life throws at them, and a great sign of strength.

Empathy - This beautiful quality exists when a person sees someone else suffering, and relates to their pain, then tries to ease their state.

Intuition- The “Gut” feeling many of us often get when something either really good, or really bad is about to happen, when we listen to it, become in tune with it, we can solve problems with our intuitive nature before they come to fruition. Many times it can feel almost psychic in nature, but in reality it’s just being in harmony with the surrounding environment.

Patience – is an even temperateness and capability of being the calm person during every storm. Patience comes with life experience and seeing our peers react in a calm confident manner.

Acceptance – accepting who one is, and every facet of our being the physical, the emotional, and the mental, without deny or pretending to be something else.

Sensuality is the willingness to use patience, explore and discover what really works while utilizing all that the body has to offer in regards to sexual pleasure. With sensuality the fun is in the exploration and flirtatious foreplay.

Radiance - It’s that internal glow that shines so bright it reaches the skin’s surface and makes one’s entire aura fill a room with positive energy. Radiance is something that is acquired from taking the time to reflect on who, and what a person’s gifts here on earth, and appreciating those gifts for what they are.

An interesting video from a woman, to women, on the loss of femininity, and a hard look at what they have become.


Another great article from a woman who explains the loss of femininity in our society.

Losing Feminity Article #1


“It’s no wonder that women of my generation did not cultivate our femininity. We were sexual, yes, but suppressed femininity, at school, at work, and in relationships. Not having developed that part of ourselves, when we became mothers we were hardly in a position to teach our daughters about it.”


Here is another article written by a women that has come to a realization that maybe she has lost her femininity.

Why competing with men has left women out of touch with their feminine side



Working full-time, making every decision, paying every bill, driving myself everywhere, booking tickets for holidays, lugging the Christmas tree in - it's all completely de-feminising.

My friend Sophie, 46, who runs her own design company and is a single mother to two boys aged nine and 11, agrees.

She has been single for six years, since her husband left her for another woman.

Blonde, attractive and kind, she hasn't been on a date since he walked out.

'I have absolutely no idea how to be a woman any more,' she says. 'Because I run my business, my home and make all the decisions about the boys, I feel totally unfeminine.


The end result for us men is we don’t want relationships with a mate that acts like a man, or sends mixed signals. We have really tried our best to understand the situation, but how can we when women don't understand what's going on themselves.

Men aren't going to be doormats for women to walk all over, because they are having an identity crisis that lasts for decades.

The more men experience women that act like men, the more we tend run the other way, or just give up on woman altogether.

Excuses and shifting blame is not going to work anymore, so maybe focusing on what's been lost may help relationship work again.


Peace,

RT
edit on 8-1-2015 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)



+26 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:09 PM
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Both gender rolls are disappearing. So is the family unit.

Welcome to the NWO.


+23 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:14 PM
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IMO, society hardens a women. We can not afford to be soft. We are required to work like any man, plus kids and house ect. We are expected to be "super women", to know everything and do everything, and it just isnt possible.
I have seen a lot of relationships where the man just expects everything from a women and gives little back. These women become hard.
Most women have a hard time going back to work when they have a 6 week old infant. And you have to harden yourself to leave a crying child in the arms of someone who is just taking care of your child for money and not love.
Im sure there are lots of other reasons, but this is how I became less feminine, soft and trusting.


+26 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:18 PM
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The more men experience women that act like men, we tend run the other way, or just give up on woman altogether. It’s not hard to figure out.


I'd say that if you give up on women altogether you weren't that interested to start with.

Could it just be that a lot of (mostly conservative) men expect women to be like 1950's sitcom wives and therefore find themselves ill-prepared for reality? Embrace women for who they are and stop trying to change them to suit BS ideals and hormones will do the rest.


+2 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:27 PM
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originally posted by: theantediluvian

The more men experience women that act like men, we tend run the other way, or just give up on woman altogether. It’s not hard to figure out.


I'd say that if you give up on women altogether you weren't that interested to start with.

Could it just be that a lot of (mostly conservative) men expect women to be like 1950's sitcom wives and therefore find themselves ill-prepared for reality?



Men aren't giving up on women, hence this thread of understanding. The information in the OP is from both a man's perspective and women's.

If you wish to play that way I will allow for more stats.

Let's use your own words here "Embrace women for who they are and stop trying to change them"

Women are the number one initiators of divorce these days. I believe the percentages are as high as 75%, so men aren't the only ones giving up or running.

Men aren't trying to change women, in fact, most men have become more understanding and in many cases taken the nurturing roles of taking care of the children.


edit on 8-1-2015 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)


+21 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:32 PM
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It's about women having smarts and money. What would you need a man for if you have these things covered? They snore, burp, and fart in bed, say rude things, make demands, and do not cook or clean. Most widows who are college educated and have money and children are through with men. No one wants to be a nurse with a purse. Women who are fifty are tired of taking care of others: men, kids, dogs, pets, older parents, neighbors, friends, work, house work. I really fantasize about going somewhere on vacation for a month. By myself. Everyone leans on me too hard. No one reciprocates. I live with three men; a husband and two sons of different ages, and believe me I know I am not masculine. However, I am very capable at many things men typically do.
edit on 8-1-2015 by frugal because: sp



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:35 PM
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originally posted by: misskat1
IMO, society hardens a women. We can not afford to be soft. We are required to work like any man, plus kids and house ect. We are expected to be "super women", to know everything and do everything, and it just isnt possible.
I have seen a lot of relationships where the man just expects everything from a women and gives little back. These women become hard.
Most women have a hard time going back to work when they have a 6 week old infant. And you have to harden yourself to leave a crying child in the arms of someone who is just taking care of your child for money and not love.
Im sure there are lots of other reasons, but this is how I became less feminine, soft and trusting.


Thanks for the input.


From the tone you feel that society hardens women.

Wouldn't one have to allow for society to harden them?



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:39 PM
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a reply to: Realtruth

I think its a matter of survival. We make a choice to survive.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:45 PM
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I agree with your statement concerning 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Money has a significant impact in these decisions.

If a woman finds a means to support herself then the current relationship as a homemaker and/or dependent of a man is no longer required. Apparently women loathe the role of homemaker and/or dependent.

Being dependent on another for survival, in many instances, brings an amount of uncertainty. This is a stressful and undesirable situation for the dependent.
edit on 8-1-2015 by eManym because: (no reason given)


+3 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:46 PM
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For the most part, I think 'feminine" and "masculine" are social constructs.
The nature versus nurture debate.

Fitting into the prefect feminine role is hard, as is being the ultimate "masculine" role. What does it mean to be feminine or masculine? and is it the same definition for everyone? Individuals have different concepts of gender roles and how we look to be attractive.
Where do you draw the line? Whose view is deemed correct and should be implemented as the guideline?

If we flip the conversation to "masculinity" lets say, the traditional definition is bread winner, head of household, muscular, scholar, strong willed etc. Each of those attributes are defined differently by individuals.

The question is. Are these masculine traits learned? Or are they innate? It is a HUGE pressure on male youth to be something "masculine" as a result they sadly suicide as they are not nurtured/taught to be expressive and process emotions as the tradition feminine role does.

Traditional male roles include property ownerships of land, women, and the family ( Everyone gets the male surname).
Is the entire premise out of date? How should men and women show up and behave in the office and how should they look? I don't want a man turning up to the office with a sword on his side, strutting about yelling and barking orders. It is an old definition of masculine, Feminine has been altered and is out of date also. I do notice women are vilified for this change, where as the masculine gender role alteration, not so much.

How a woman dresses (traditional feminine) is not really comfortable to be honest. Pointy bras, small waists from corsets (designed to show attractive female form) does not have any functional place in the office, but it isn't reasonable to do this at work each day, nor at the gym, nor whilst trying to prepare dinner.
That doesn't mean I don't love frocking up, lipsticking with a slut red, and rocking my 6 inch Louboutin heels.

*Gender roles have been altered, no one owns that role definition individually.
*Genders are for the most part asked to contribute equally.

The traditional definitions of gender can't gel with the above two points..


Eeeek runs* I hate gender threads lol.


edit on 8-1-2015 by zazzafrazz because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:54 PM
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originally posted by: misskat1
a reply to: Realtruth

I think its a matter of survival. We make a choice to survive.


So now we have both men and women acting like angry men because they are making a choice to survive?

I don't think the hardened world or work environment is healthy for either, in fact, it ruins everything it touches including femininity.

I have worked with many qualified women and value their skills, commitment and strengths, but not if they have to sacrifice their maternal qualities and femininity.

It's not natural.

Us men don't want a subservient 50's woman like someone said in an earlier reply, but we do want women that have feminine qualities.

The only answer I can come up with, is that the work environment needs to change to allow for a softer side for both sexes. And MSM needs to stop fueling drama that people are so easily buying into.

btw you made some great observations here.

Thanks again,

RT
edit on 8-1-2015 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 01:56 PM
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a reply to: Realtruth

Women are probably the biggest underutilized resource on the planet.
Gender "roles" are social constructs. They are completely plastic and will evolve to best suit biological circumstances.

Make no mistake, there are some mighty biological challenges ahead. The whole biosphere is being poisoned by petrochemicals and pharmaceuticals.


+10 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:00 PM
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a reply to: Realtruth

I think this is just the same old rehashing of a very old argument. I seem to remember someone, 2000 years ago, rebuking women who speak up in church, wear jewelry and braided hair to be "unfeminine", as a woman's beauty comes from within.

Then there was the problem of women inheriting land and money! Oh the shame that would bring to the men of the day who's masculinity depended on women being unfairly economically disadvantaged, and still does, it seems.

That atrocity, of women's right to inherit, was shortly followed by the trend of women taking jobs outside the family home. Oh the humanity!

Next they wanted TO VOTE and DRIVE!

When SCOTUS liberated women by ruling that married women could legally use birth control, all hell broke loose. And as soon any woman could explore their own sexuality without the vulnerability of becoming pregnant, femininity went out the door and hasn't been seen since!




posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:01 PM
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originally posted by: frugal
It's about women having smarts and money. What would you need a man for if you have these things covered? They snore, burp, and fart in bed, say rude things, make demands, and do not cook or clean. Most widows who are college educated and have money and children are through with men.


So what you are saying a certain group of women are discarding and running from men. Interesting!

Let's see women don't snore, burp, fart in bed, and say rude things, make demands and cook and clean all the time? Wow sign me up for that kind of women because I have yet to meet one.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:05 PM
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a reply to: theantediluvian

I think if people would actually watch 50s sitcoms they'd find the women weren't as subservient as we like to think.

June Cleaver would regularly make decisions in the house, minor and major. Ward was very "tail between the legs" over certain things.

Alice Kramden would scold, belittle, and put Ralph right in his place. She'd decide when and where money was spent, if she got a job, whether or not to accompany her husband on vacations, etc.

Harriet Nelson was mild and not as abrasive/biting as Alice was but she wasn't barefoot and in the kitchen.

Peg Riley, Life of Riley pretty much the same.

_______________

Modern tv housewives are even worse, castrating witches for the most part. No class, no tact, just sharp teeth and generally a fanatic hardline disgust for men.

If you ask me everyone should have equality but not supremacy. Equality is always an invitation to supremacy, be careful who you let in, some let it get to their heads.



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:06 PM
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originally posted by: theantediluvian

The more men experience women that act like men, we tend run the other way, or just give up on woman altogether. It’s not hard to figure out.


I'd say that if you give up on women altogether you weren't that interested to start with.

Could it just be that a lot of (mostly conservative) men expect women to be like 1950's sitcom wives and therefore find themselves ill-prepared for reality? Embrace women for who they are and stop trying to change them to suit BS ideals and hormones will do the rest.



None of us are "who we are". We are what we are programmed to be. A few multinational corporations are the ones in control of that programming.
edit on 8-1-2015 by MALBOSIA because: (no reason given)


+5 more 
posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:06 PM
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It's been my experience that women have become more feminine in that they aren't afraid to express their sexuality, much more tolerant of different lifestyles and no longer feel the need to act subservient to men, and thus some men label them un feminine.

Call my GF unfeminine and she'll kick your ass!!
edit on 8-1-2015 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:06 PM
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a reply to: Realtruth


I don't think you understand the OP or contect of the message.


There you go projecting!



Women are the number one initiators of divorce these days. I believe the percentages are as high as 75%, so men aren't the only ones giving up or running.


I've seen stats in the high 60's but what does this have to do with the point you're trying to make? Getting a divorce isn't the same thing as giving up on relationships altogether. What reasonable conclusion can be drawn purely from knowing which gender more often initiates divorce? If you're upset about divorce maybe you should be speaking out against consumerism and the poor job situation that leads to financial strife or pop culture's glamorization of promiscuity.


Men aren't trying to change women, in fact, most men have become more understanding and in many cases taken the nurturing roles of taking care of the children.


Perhaps I should have said, "stop expecting women to fit a ridiculous list of wholly subjective traits?"

Radiance? Beauty? Vulnerability? Thoughtfulness? Intuition? Acceptance?

- Beauty has ALWAYS been subjective. What's more beautiful than a strong woman?
- ANYONE can (and should be) thoughtful and the same goes with patience.
- Radiance? Too many body lotion commercials.
- Intuition? What does feminism have to do with the bogus "women's intuition?" Does working outside of the home diminish ESP?
- Vulnerability and acceptance. Yikes. The only thing missing from this list is "servile!"



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:15 PM
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originally posted by: olaru12
It's been my experience that women have become more feminine in that they aren't afraid to express their sexuality much more tolerant of different lifestyles and no longer feel the need to act subservient to men.

It's the confidence that women show that frightens all the insecure men and thus they label them un feminine.

Call my GF unfeminine and she'll kick your ass!!


Women shouldn't be subservient to men, nor vice versa.

Actually confident men aren't frightened by confident women, in fact, it's a highly desirable quality that a strong male will seek, but that has absolutely nothing to do with a women being feminine, or allow her feminine qualities to shine through.

edit on 8-1-2015 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 8 2015 @ 02:20 PM
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originally posted by: eManym
I agree with your statement concerning 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Money has a significant impact in these decisions.

If a woman finds a means to support herself then the current relationship as a homemaker and/or dependent of a man is no longer required. Apparently women loathe the role of homemaker and/or dependent.

Being dependent on another for survival, in many instances, brings an amount of uncertainty. This is a stressful and undesirable situation for the dependent.


And... (I'm going to get blasted here...)

Many men prefer women dependent. That way a woman feels more obligated to be submissive and give into whatever he wants; which, when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it, often centers around sex.

I know, I know, not ALL men are like that, but in my experience, as much as they try to hide it; MOST men are like that. Deep in their heart of hearts they want a woman who caters to them in every physical and emotional way and will ignore their bad behavior as "boys will be boys". Most men also know this is kind of a crappy thing to want at best or they know most women won't have it, so they at least try to mitigate it... Somewhat... Sort of... But if a woman is dependent then a man is in a power position to try to achieve this.

Really, if you have a woman who is maintaining the dominant income and a man who is dependent, the dynamic may still hold; although she may not be quite as focused on sex. I do think a woman is less likely to turn the screws, or not turn them as much as a man if in the power position financially in a relationship. She will just have different priorities and strategies, she may very well still do it though. Men are more focused on that dominance/submission dynamic and women are more focused upon cooperation (IMO).




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