a reply to: Realtruth
I have had a similar discussion with my older sister.She was born in 1954 and I in '59. We grew up with a mother that stayed home and raised us kids
and did all the womenly things she was expected to do when we were young. But like I told my sister,I wish that I too could have been a stay at home
mom.The problem was that our society changed radically in the late '70's to early '80s to where a women was no longer expected to stay home. If you
wanted to have any kind of decent life for you and your children you were forced to go out of the house and work full time with your husband.
Though some posters have hit the nail on the head about leaving your kids in day cares and with strangers,there is also the fact,that when women first
started hitting the job markets they weren't met with open arms. They got laid off first(because so and so is a working dad and needs his income
more)and were harassed in what had traditionally been male work places. Men were not happy to move over and share their office space or working
environment with women. These men had been used to talking and saying whatever they wanted about women that they couldn't say at home,and now they
were taking it out on women in the work place. Not all men did this,but trust me when I say that there was enough that did, to really sour the
relationship between men and women. I personally even after Ford had settled an $8 million lawsuit for sexual harassment on women,been asked by
coworkers "did I know that my boobs jiggled when I walked"? REALLY??? I looked at the guy and told him that the next time he said ANYTHING like that
to me,he would lose his job and could go home and explain to his wife what he said that got him fired. He never talked to me again.
Things like that do harden you. When you know you have to go work with people that have no morals about saying the most outrageous things and have
gotten away with it for eons,and now they are saying them to women faces.Luckily I always gave ONE warning. After that it was game on and if you lost
your job because you were stupid,oh well.
I feel that most of todays ills can be blamed on the fact that there is no mother at home raising her kids 24/7 anymore. I think most parents can
recall a situation where they were talking to their kids and suddenly something cropped up that may not have seemed important at the time to
them....later they realized that is was a serious learning experience for their kids. Now think about how many times that you were at work and missed
those? The lessons that could have been taught to your kids that would have better prepared them for life? Mothers teach their kids many things,kids
NEED both parents,but mothers are especially important during the preschool years. They teach their boys how to relate to females,they teach their
girls how to be women and relate to society as a whole.They teach their kids how to count,and play with clay and color in the lines.They teach them
the basics of all the things they need to know to be prepared to start school. I had my sons teachers tell me that few of the kids knew their primary
colors or how to count anymore when starting school.They lamented the fact that the kids didn't even possess the needed social skills to get along
with others. They had mothers that were too busy out working to teach them those things.
The mother comes home,is trying to throw dinner together or god forbid,throwing nasty fast food at them. Then its clean up the house somewhat,get the
kids cleaned up and ready for bed. Help with any homework.See what your husband is complaining about,and get yourself ready for bed and have your
stuff set up for a quick throw together for getting to work the next day. So where is the time to listen to your kids? Or your husband for that fact?
Divorce high? You bet,women feel unappreciated with a lot of men (not all) sitting back and watching TV while they run around like the mad hatter
trying to get everything ready for the next day. Then when its all said and done they want sex,and your so tired you can't help but look at them and
think, "ARE YOU CRAZY"???
Been there and done that,and it takes a toll on your marriage. I think a lot of times its not so much that they don't love their husbands anymore as
it is that the grass is greener where they think they are escaping the life they have in the marriage with all the stress. It isn't until later when
the dust settles and everyone's life has been disrupted that they realize the real issue. Then its too late,the damage has been done. If you had
asked me about acting feminine back in the day while I was going through this, I would have beat you over the head and screamed at you about,yeah you
darn right I don't feel feminine right now!!!! I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. I was getting an Atlas complex from it and all I could
think of was escaping. Now that I'm done with all that I can finally take a breath and relax,but back then? Forget it, I forgot how to breathe at
all. I was stressed and ended up on meds for anxiety disorder, I kid you not.
I love my boys and wouldn't change a thing.But I would never want to go back there and do it again either. I lost who I was as a PERSON,much less
what sex I was.If a women has to go out and work like a man and make money like a man and keep a stiff upper lip like a man and take all life throws
at her like a man and and and... well you just made a man with boobs is all. What else can you expect?