Please help!

My mother, who is 76, lives in a rural development apartment complex (for the elderly and disabled) and of course it based on her income. Friday night she was notified that she couldn't use her toilet facilities, they would be bringing in portable potty's for the complex to use in the meantime. I called her Friday evening to see if they had brought the potty's and they hadn't. They sent a tenant around to other tenant's to notify them that the portable potty's would not be here and that they could either go outside or use a bucket until the problem was rectified. Here it is Monday morning and still the problem exists.

I have called the local Health Dept., the Environmental Dept., Rural Development (the people who actually funded the building of the complex) and the state representative. They have all said they will do something to rectify the problem but it is almost quitting time for the management and another day will pass. Three months ago, my mom had to go without hot water, for 26 days, and I had to sponge bathe her with water I warmed up on the stove. I would have taken her to my house to do this but she was house bound. When this happened, I called the same people I listed above and everyone told me the same thing, we will get something done in a timely manner. Needless to say, 26 days later it was finally fixed. I refused to pay my moms rent when this happened and was told that if I didn't she would be kicked out. I asked the management how could they be so callous to allow this to happen to these people? Her reply was "well they don't really pay that much". That is verbatim. Two months ago, I found bed bugs in her apt. and notified the management. They used a knock off company to spray and she still has them. When I told the management this, her reply was we will have to pay next time if we want them to spray. A ramp that my mother uses, she lives on the second floor, to get in and out of the building was torn down because it was falling apart, and took 3 months to be built back. My mother was literally house bound for those 3 months, which was around the same time, she had no hot water. Once again, I called, was told the same thing. There are so many issues with this complex that I wouldn't have the space to type it all in.

I am beyond outraged!!! I know some will say just move her out of there, but it isn't that simple. There are no other places close to me that are income based and set up for the elderly and disabled. I tried the nursing home route and that was a disaster, so I took her out of there and moved her to where she is now. There is a company who comes and assists her with cleaning, bathing and other chores on the days that I can't be there to oversee what happens with her.

So my question is, does anyone know of anywhere else that you could call to report the issues I am having concerning my mother?

I apologize for the grammatical errors, run on sentences and ranting but I am at my wits end. I am hoping the brilliant people of ATS knows a route to take to help me. Thank you in advance for your time.

Mods, I didn't know where to post this, so if in wrong forum, please move.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Well, I have no experience in dealing with elderly relatives. My grandfather and grandmother on my fathers side are toxic, horrible people to be around, and always were, and I refuse to have anything to do with them, or him for that matter. My Granny on my mothers side has forgotten who I am, and my alarming countenance terrifies her now, which means I cannot visit. A shame, because I really do love that woman. My grandfather on my mothers side died a little while back, so thats it for me at the moment!

However, you seem to have been through all the hoops and gotten no where with it. I would advise that you anonymously contact a paper or two, perhaps a network, and get them to have a look at the situation. That will get things moving pretty bloody quickly one way or another. Just make sure it cannot be traced back to you so there can be no repercussions.

I can only speak for the USA but you should have a Department of Children and Families (DCF) organization there. In some states it is or was refered to as HRS.

They investigate abuse and neglect of not only the children but the elderly. They would be the people to call.

If you can't locate or find contact info for them call the police.

This sounds like it could be a case of elderly neglect/explotation. If it isn't criminal the police can at least refer you to the proper people to call.

I have to agree with TTP, call the police.

Having to go outside or use a bucket, sure sounds like abuse.
The people running that place..............

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

I say...contact the local media in your area and make a front page story out of your mothers situation. Contact...TV reporters, radio and and the internet social networks...get the word out about this horrible situation...raise such a ruckus that the powers that be who own and run the apartment building your Mother lives in..will have to fix everything!

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Well, I have no experience in dealing with elderly relatives. My grandfather and grandmother on my fathers side are toxic, horrible people to be around, and always were, and I refuse to have anything to do with them, or him for that matter. My Granny on my mothers side has forgotten who I am, and my alarming countenance terrifies her now, which means I cannot visit. A shame, because I really do love that woman. My grandfather on my mothers side died a little while back, so thats it for me at the moment!

However, you seem to have been through all the hoops and gotten no where with it. I would advise that you anonymously contact a paper or two, perhaps a network, and get them to have a look at the situation. That will get things moving pretty bloody quickly one way or another. Just make sure it cannot be traced back to you so there can be no repercussions.

First let me say I am sorry to hear about the situation with your family. I know that must be hard dealing with, my grandmother died from Alzheimer/dementia many years ago, so I understand how you feel. It is never easy to deal with something like that. Losing family members can be just as difficult to endure. You have my sympathies. I hope things get better for you sir.

Yes, I have jumped through every hoop I can think of, so you can imagine my frustration. I just can't fathom how people can fall through the cracks of society, when they have contributed most of their lives. I took the route of calling the local papers when the hot water situation arose, an article was wrote in the local paper but it didn't get the ball rolling any faster. I plan on calling them again, first thing in the morning, if there is nothing done. Who knows, maybe two write ups about the living conditions there, may make a difference.

Thank you for your advice and I hope you have a Happy New Year!

a reply to: caladonea

That is a great option too.

Call your local investigative news team as well.

originally posted by: TorqueyThePig
I can only speak for the USA but you should have a Department of Children and Families (DCF) organization there. In some states it is or was refered to as HRS.

They investigate abuse and neglect of not only the children but the elderly. They would be the people to call.

If you can't locate or find contact info for them call the police.

This sounds like it could be a case of elderly neglect/explotation. If it isn't criminal the police can at least refer you to the proper people to call.

Thank you, I never thought to call them.

Yes, it is elderly neglect/exploitation, in my opinion. I'm not sure about criminal, unless it can be proved, and I fear that will never happen because you just can't fight these type of people if you can't afford a good lawyer.

I appreciate, more than I can express here, your advice! I feel beside myself and helpless. Thank you again!

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Hi Ready - this situation is deplorable!

I was in multi-family real estate (development & research) for many years here in Texas. Don't know where your Mother is located, but all the states I know of recognize Tenant rights, and most states take them quite seriously.

1. Call your state's Apartment Association asap - should be easy to find online. Have All of your owner/manager info together - office phone & address, LLC info,Complex address and Manager' name and phone...etc.
Do this today before they close for New Years.

2. Call and email the details of your Mother's situation (with all of your contact info including mobile) to the biggest of the big mouths from your Local (not National) News station. You know the one that dog's people and gets in their face.

3. You are your Mother's advocate - have a document with her signature, social, birthday and DL or State ID info signed that states you have the right to represent her in any and all legal and personal matters.

Squeaky Wheel gets the grease!

I hope you crush these fools - good luck.

All the best for 2015.

originally posted by: caladonea
a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

I say...contact the local media in your area and make a front page story out of your mothers situation. Contact...TV reporters, radio and and the internet social networks...get the word out about this horrible situation...raise such a ruckus that the powers that be who own and run the apartment building your Mother lives in..will have to fix everything!

Thank you!

I called the local papers when the hot water incident happened. I felt, and I have been known to be wrong, that it didn't get the ball rolling any faster, as I mentioned before. Tomorrow morning, if nothing has been done that is the first thing on my to do list.

I have recited my side of the story today, until I feel like my head is spinning. That is why I posted something here, hoping someone else would know of something to do. I have been dealing with this for about 6 months now and it can be exhausting.

Thank you again for your advice.

originally posted by: Missmissie173
a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Hi Ready - this situation is deplorable!

I was in multi-family real estate (development & research) for many years here in Texas. Don't know where your Mother is located, but all the states I know of recognize Tenant rights, and most states take them quite seriously.

1. Call your state's Apartment Association asap - should be easy to find online. Have All of your owner/manager info together - office phone & address, LLC info,Complex address and Manager' name and phone...etc.
Do this today before they close for New Years.

2. Call and email the details of your Mother's situation (with all of your contact info including mobile) to the biggest of the big mouths from your Local (not National) News station. You know the one that dog's people and gets in their face.

3. You are your Mother's advocate - have a document with her signature, social, birthday and DL or State ID info signed that states you have the right to represent her in any and all legal and personal matters.

Squeaky Wheel gets the grease!

I hope you crush these fools - good luck.

All the best for 2015.

Wow I can't thank you enough for all this information!

I am in the states, Kentucky actually, and going to find these people you speak of. I have all the things you listed. Thank you again, this advice is so much appreciated. Have a Happy New Year!

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Don't contact the media by phone or email.

Go to your local TV and Radio stations in person...be polite...but very persistent...someone will listen. Your Mothers housing issues and problems are what many of the elderly go though...be a voice for many.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

You are so welcome sweetie - this is an abusive and (sounds like) criminal matter.

Think of the elders at your Mother's place that have no one to speak for them...highly pi$$es me off!

Best.

Missie

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Even if nothing criminal has occurred DCF/HRS services can step in and make changes happen.

They have lawyers on their team and are very familiar with situations like this.

Just make sure you follow up with them after you call because they are generally understaffed and busy.

Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

In my state, Missouri, we have a Division of Aging they have a hot line to report elderly abuse. If your state has such an organization use it, call them. In my state they act immediately.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

If it's housing she rents, wouldn't the landlord be legally obliged to ensure reasonable utilities like heating, water and waste disposal? If so, she should have a legal case that they failed in their obligations and fell short of the terms of the contract.

You need to look at the contract to identify what their legal requirements are.

It won't necessarily result in compensation or rebates, but it would certainly clarify what they are obligated to provide.

I'm not surprised you're pissed off with them. It sounds like they're taking advantage and ducking their legal responsibilities.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd



In this day and age the mobile phone/camera is invaluable take

pictures of everything you never know when it will come in

handy as visual evidence. It has worked in my family.


Placing a tiny security camera in a personal possession has been

known to provide evidence of anything untoward which may also

possibly happen in your absence.

since the law will vary state by state, and will hinge on ambiguous terms like "reasonable amount of time", I think Torquay has a great suggestion. The cops can likely give you some direction.

Caladonea also has a great idea. Get in front of a camera. if you have some bed bugs to show while on camera, even better.

On a side note, I am not a violent man. But i am big, and scare the living hell out of people. As long as i am not acting in an overtly threatening manner, I can typically use a bit of intimidation in 1 on 1 encounters. More over, I would get the suggestion to go outside in writing. That, in and of itself, is a violation of law no matter what state you are in. And if not, then leave a few gifts outside the complex office for them to tidy up for you.

a reply to: ReAdY2AsCeNd

Honestly: call the local media. TV, papers, radio, anybody you can think of. Take pictures of the buckets and backed up toilets and piles of crap outside. Send the pictures and story to every single media outlet you can.

There was a story a while back about a nursing home that the staff walked out on. It was several days before anybody did anything to help, despite repeated 911 calls from the two employees that stayed behind (both were janitors I think) who were trying to feed people until helped arrived. It wasn't until the media got wind of it that help finally came.

MSM has it's uses.

Call. The. Media.

Eta- as others pointed out, social services can help immediately also in cases of abuse. My state doesn't have a separate office for children and elderly, it's all one hotline.

Thanks everyone for posting some great advice. It is much appreciated!

Things I have found out:

1. Can't call the police because the manager of the building dates the Chief of Police (they are obviously notorious for retaliation - since three people were evicted because they made waves in the past - according to other tenants I have spoke with in the building).

2. The City of ______ owns the building and none of the people I called will touch it (everyone rubs elbows with the powerful here and can't get a blemish against them, otherwise they will be banished from the "in" crowd).

3. I was referred to legal aid by the person who runs the Apartment Association.

Guess the last step is to contact legal aid and see who they can refer me to. I feel like I have stepped into the twilight zone here.