Housemate Issues - What should i do ?

Hello members , how are you all ?

Shes fat
Shes lazy
Shes self entitled
Shes neglectfull
Shes a slob
Shes controlling
Shes arrogant
She is ungreatfull
Shes messy
Shes abusive
Shes bitchy
Shes greedy
Shes spitefull
Shes immature

I am talking about a family members partner who has been living with me now for over half a year .
I litterally dont know how i should nip this problem in the bud but the more time passes the more i can see myself losing it with this chick.

The thing about it is she treats the member of my family in question like absolute garbage and whenever something comes up when she does the wrong thing, she dangles the family members child in front of him as leverage for her to walk all over him and now, me, my family and my home .

I personally feel that this chick needs to be put in line but im not sure how to go about it given the circumstances i have mentioned previously . While i am very up front and not afraid of confrontation, my family means alot to me and the only thing stopping me from proverbially kicking this chick in the ass is the fact that i feel she will retalliate against the member of my family with whome she has the child with.

This woman makes my blood boil and the fact that she is so self entitled and so ready to use her own child as some sort of leverage whenever she is questioned or hears something that she doesnt like is absolutely despicable and i personally think that she is lower then dirt for doing it .

I truly feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place so i wanted to ask the membership what they would suggest or if they have had any experience in dealing with this sort of thing .

As allways , all thoughts and viewpoints are respected and appreciated.

So what do you think ??


-Omega85

originally posted by: Omega85
Hello members , how are you all ?

Shes fat
Shes lazy
Shes self entitled
Shes neglectfull
Shes a slob
Shes controlling
Shes arrogant
She is ungreatfull
Shes messy
Shes abusive
Shes bitchy
Shes greedy
Shes spitefull
Shes immature

I am talking about a family members partner who has been living with me now for over half a year .
I litterally dont know how i should nip this problem in the bud but the more time passes the more i can see myself losing it with this chick.

The thing about it is she treats the member of my family in question like absolute garbage and whenever something comes up when she does the wrong thing, she dangles the family members child in front of him as leverage for her to walk all over him and now, me, my family and my home .

I personally feel that this chick needs to be put in line but im not sure how to go about it given the circumstances i have mentioned previously . While i am very up front and not afraid of confrontation, my family means alot to me and the only thing stopping me from proverbially kicking this chick in the ass is the fact that i feel she will retalliate against the member of my family with whome she has the child with.

This woman makes my blood boil and the fact that she is so self entitled and so ready to use her own child as some sort of leverage whenever she is questioned or hears something that she doesnt like is absolutely despicable and i personally think that she is lower then dirt for doing it .

I truly feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place so i wanted to ask the membership what they would suggest or if they have had any experience in dealing with this sort of thing .

As allways , all thoughts and viewpoints are respected and appreciated.

So what do you think ??


-Omega85

tell the family member to take her fat ass to court and get her outa the house

Sorry I Got Nothing.

2:25 to 3:45 Cough.

a reply to: Omega85

Why don't you finally tell the truth to the father?
Tell him the truth, and let him deal with it.
He needs to know the discomfort this woman is causing you.
I don't understand why she is living with you and not him in the first place, that wasn't clear.

If she is so dependent on you, perhaps she shouldn't be pretending to sit on such a high horse.

Shes fat 
Shes lazy 
Shes self entitled 
Shes neglectfull 
Shes a slob 
Shes controlling 
Shes arrogant 
She is ungreatfull 
Shes messy 
Shes abusive 
Shes bitchy 
Shes greedy 
Shes spitefull 
Shes immature

I had no idea my bitch ex-wife had a twin!!

Confront it and kick it out upon gaining full custody.

Dont let the fat slag rule your roost.

originally posted by: Rainbowresidue
a reply to: Omega85

Why don't you finally tell the truth to the father?
Tell him the truth, and let him deal with it.
He needs to know the discomfort this woman is causing you.
I don't understand why she is living with you and not him in the first place, that wasn't clear.

If she is so dependent on you, perhaps she shouldn't be pretending to sit on such a high horse.

I absolutely one hundred percent agree with you , IMO she should be abit more greatfull and alot less self deserving .
The thing is i think that the father is aware but he might feel abit stuck himself , He is a good and honest man who is a great father . But yeah the whole self deserving nature of this woman is half of whats driving me absolutely balmy .

-Omega

originally posted by: CyberSonic

I had no idea by bitch ex-wife had a twin!!

Confront it and kick it out upon gaining full custody.

Dont let the fat slag rule your roost.

LOL, thank you for your reply .
I would love to confront this person but i dont want the family member in question to cop the crap .
I firmly believe he is aware because i know all his friends feel the same way i do, i think this woman has him trapped .
Oh believe me i have made it clear to this woman that she is a guest in our house and not vice versa, the thing is she still takes it out on the family member in question and that is the reason i am hesitant to press the issue completely .
The thing with the custodial side of things is that here, those things take time and im also not sure that my relation is aware of exactly what his options are with this kind of thing , nor am i to be honest.

-Omega

Is she prone to violence? if so provoke her and then obtain a VRO (violence restraining order) from your local po-po. Then she has to move out, or fight the VRO in court.

Thats not really an ethical way of dealing with her, but, ya know, ethics is kinda subjective to ones on personal morality.

a reply to: Omega85

Going about it the wrong way.

Throw him out. Give him a month to move his stuff out, but don't include anyone else, including what I'm assuming is his g/f and child.

I suppose your immediate reaction is 'but he's family, and it's not his fault. It's hers.' I'd bet dollars to donuts he is just as bad as she is. Start with him, she'll follow suit once he's gone, simply because she has no leverage over you any more.

Sometimes you just gotta stop being an enabler and cast out bad blood from what I assume is your home, the place where your partner and possibly children live.

The funny thing about slovenly people is they like to nest in other people's abode, and once in fester like cockroaches, especially when it is family involved. The attitude is usually, they're family, they won't say anything no matter how bad we are. More or less proven in your point really.

I do apologise if this comes off a little harshly, but I have seen many people allow family to move in, especially when times are tough, and things generally go downhill rapidly. Stand up. Be counted. Sadly it's the only way.

I do wish you luck.

ETA: Oh, and by the way, if you do choose this road, send it to him in a registered letter, so it has to be signed for upon receipt. If I remember rightly, I think it's 60 days for notice of eviction. Then, if he refuses to leave, you can cite it to Police as evidence, and they can forcibly remove them if need be.

originally posted by: RifRAAF
Is she prone to violence? if so provoke her and then obtain a VRO (violence restraining order) from your local po-po. Then she has to move out, or fight the VRO in court.

Thats not really an ethical way of dealing with her, but, ya know, ethics is kinda subjective to ones on personal morality.

She likes to think she is ...
Alas no shes not , she doesnt have the balls because she knows i would throw her ass clean out the door and she wouldnt be back , However she is EXTREMELY passive aggressive to anyone not her partner which i hate with a passion .
Allthough i cant comment what happenes when they are out alone , I would like to think he wouldnt take that bs but as i said im not there so i dont fully know , a good father/parent will put up with alot for there childs sake , and he is a great father .

a reply to: 74Templar

I see what your saying ,
I have allready initiated this type of thing and it is currently in the works .
The thing is , its been in the works for over half a year now .

a reply to: Omega85

I know it's very difficult when it's family. We tend to take endless crap from our families when it comes to rubbing us the wrong way in good faith, even when it is damaging us.

I wouldn't take too long with it, and when you do, don't look back or back down.

I can tell you from personal experience the backlash isn't much fun, but stand your ground, it will work out.

My solution was to move to the other end of the country. 3-4 days travel to get to you tends to slow em down a bit.

a reply to: 74Templar

Thanks for your reply Templar, i appreciate it .
Definitily something to have a think about .
I know that if everything came to a head, im the sort of guy that with this issue, If there was a huge confrontation then that confrontation would be for a very valid reason and as such i doubt i would regret it .
I allways try to be rational however everyone has their off days . Just have to try to remain level headed i guess.

Omega

Half a year? You should have stopped that the first day or two

originally posted by: acacko
Half a year? You should have stopped that the first day or two

Stopped what exactly ?

Family or not .. such conduct is inexcusable ... toss the bloody cow out of your house.

Oh Boy....if this family member is your Son and his young family ,your sure in a pickle ! Without knowing the age of the parents and their child it's difficult to give an opinion. If they are under 23, their brains are still developing and it seems they lack the skills to provide a stable home for their child. If your the Grandparent of this child, this presents a big moral decision for you !!

If the above is the case, I think I would sit down with the two of them together and help them to decide on goals and an action plan to achieve them to gain their independence. Hold regular sit-downs to follow-up on their progress and perhaps address other concerns as they arise.

I would caution you against holding on to such contempt for this child's Mother if you Love the Child and Father.....what ever happens she's going to be in the picture for a long time....

Sorry if I got this all wrong.......Good Luck and Peace to you and your family....lol....yup "her" too....♥

a reply to: Expat888

Thanks for the reply Expat
I tend to agree with you and i would absolutely love to , except that i know that she will hound my family member into infinity . This chick is an absolute ball busting controll freak and i know that i am not the only one that thinks this as friends of the family and even members of the family themselves have all expressed there strong dislike for this woman and her horrible and bitter attitude .

a reply to: Omega85

The "special snowflake" mentality of the newer generations is most likely incurable. Short of surviving a major depression, world war or plague, I doubt these people will ever pull their heads out of their own asses long enough to realize their true position in relation to the rest of the cosmos. Your only option is to get the # out of her life. My suggestion to you would be to move, even if you own the place, sell it and get the # out of there. Advertise her as a paying tenant and sell the place right out from beneath her. If you rent, get your landlord to let you out of the lease.

originally posted by: MountainLaurel
Oh Boy....if this family member is your Son and his young family ,your sure in a pickle ! Without knowing the age of the parents and their child it's difficult to give an opinion. If they are under 23, their brains are still developing and it seems they lack the skills to provide a stable home for their child. If your the Grandparent of this child, this presents a big moral decision for you !!

Hey MountainLaurel, thanks for the reply .
Oh this family member is not my son, thank god . I can only imagin how much more difficult the situation would be if that was the case. Thankfully its not .
Anyway, Yes they are under the age of 23 but only by a year or so and the thing is the woman in question refuses to go to work and instead spends her partners money like its nothing while my relation, works his ass off and is all round a responsible and good person . She dictates to him nearly every facet of his life including how long he can play his video games and when he can have a ciggarette , It drives me absolutely crazy and like i said before i am not the only one that has noticed how horrible this lazy arrogant slob is . My girlfriend after hanging around this chick the first few hours wanted nothing more then to drown this girl (I use the word girl on purpouse as she hasnt the maturity level to be called a woman) in her own jack daniels (Which she spends her partners money on BTW) .

If the above is the case, I think I would sit down with the two of them together and help them to decide on goals and an action plan to achieve them to gain their independence. Hold regular sit-downs to follow-up on their progress and perhaps address other concerns as they arise.

This has been done a few times now and the thing is, i believe the family member of mine is all for moving on and being an adult but his partner is not . She seems quite content to treat my living room as her own personal bedroom leaving trash everywhere and her personal effects scattered from one side of the room to the other , Causing the rest of my family to remain in their bedrooms or in other rooms of the house because the main room is such a mess.
Its really driving me nuts and yesterday ( They went out for the night ) i had just had enough and so i picked up all her trash and personel effects ( Soiled nappies and all ) and just dumped it ontop of her clothes and stuff .
She came home and as usuall started carrying on like a brat and breaking her partners balls that i cleaned my own loungeroom but its at the point where im so sick of this brat that i just dont care .

I would caution you against holding on to such contempt for this child's Mother if you Love the Child and Father.....what ever happens she's going to be in the picture for a long time....

While i understand what your saying , i will not cut her any more slack then i allready have .
I am sick of being walked all over and so are the rest of my family , the thing is im alot more upfront with these issues then the other members of my family and as such will not take any more of this BS from this chick.
Also, The thing about it is that i sincerely dont believe that they will remain together , it just doesnt work and she drives her partner ( My direct family member) absolutely crazy . The only reasons i feel they are still together is
A) She has entrapped her partner using the child and uses the child as leverage whenever she is in the wrong .
B) I honestly believe that my relation is not fully aware of what his options are in regards to being free of this self entitled and unstable sow .

Sorry if I got this all wrong.......Good Luck and Peace to you and your family....lol....yup "her" too....♥

There is no need to apologise i sincerely appreciate your input and i will take it under advisement .
However i am a firm believe in "what goes around comes around" and as such hope that this bitter and selfish person gets exactly what they have been putting out . Apart from that i appreciate the well wishes to my family and i
Thanks again MountainLaurel

-Omega