Housemate Issues - What should i do ?

originally posted by: VforVendettea
Lace her food with sugar free gummy bears, she will still be there but she will be too busy with other things to give you a hard time.

LA Beast recommended as well...

a reply to: Omega85

Option one: If it's your house, start eviction procedures. If it's not your house, move. Don't like that option? See option two.
Option two: keep your mouth shut and live with it. Don't like that option? See option one.

Note that taking no action AND continuing to whine about it is not an option.

originally posted by: Omega85

originally posted by: PhoenixFreeman
a reply to: Omega85

Hey! I am on ATS you know!

SO YOUR USING MY FRIGGIN INTERNET ASWELL?!
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE !!

lol

The OP was called out? This was his last post, along with answering his nemesis!

a reply to: Omega85


I see a lot of kidding, joking and laughing on your situation, but I don't find anything funny about it.

I'll give you some advice take it, or leave it.

I would pay her to leave. Now your most likely thinking wtf is this idiot talking about, well I have lots and lots of experience in dealing with people, especially these types. I won't go into how I know this, or what I do for a living.

Here is a step by step, starting with assessments

1) Greedy, self-centered, entitled people are easy to predict and manipulate.

2) These types of people only see one thing...........themselves, and they don't think very far ahead.

3) Ask yourself how much is your sanity worth?

4) Plant a seed: Offer to get her started on an apartment of her own. ( Fixed amount, time frame for offer, or expiration date, and lastly One time payment), then say nothing else after about your offer. Let her come to you.

5) This will do two things she will start to visualize her new life, new apartment, away from everyone

6) Within the time frame you set she will accept the offer, and you will be rid of the issue. "Do NOT deviate from you offer.

7) Enjoy your new found space, but most likely you may have to deal with her from a distance, since she is somehow tied to your family.

Good Luck,

RT

Hello members,
Just wanted to let you know i am still here lol .
we didnt kill each nother yet i just have been run off my feet abit.
I will be back home later on tonight and i will reply to all your posts .
Thanks for your time , and i appreciate your responses .

-Omega

what you should try and do is sit them both down, explain to them how you feel and how its negatively affecting your living environment, tell her shes not doing enough around the house etc and that if things don't change they will have to make other living arrangements,

do this as nicely as possible so she doesn't fly off the handle at her boyfriend (since she has a history of this sort of thing)

DO NOT!!! bring up that you don't agree with the way she treats her bf or how she uses the kid as leverage because that is there relationship and not something you should meddle in, even though you don't agree with it, it's their business and they are the ones who should sort that,

originally posted by: Omega85
a reply to: 74Templar

I see what your saying ,
I have allready initiated this type of thing and it is currently in the works .
The thing is , its been in the works for over half a year now .

Then it's not in the works is it?

Kick them both the f**k out. Have some respect for yourself.

originally posted by: JamboD
what you should try and do is sit them both down, explain to them how you feel and how its negatively affecting your living environment, tell her shes not doing enough around the house etc and that if things don't change they will have to make other living arrangements,

do this as nicely as possible so she doesn't fly off the handle at her boyfriend (since she has a history of this sort of thing)

DO NOT!!! bring up that you don't agree with the way she treats her bf or how she uses the kid as leverage because that is there relationship and not something you should meddle in, even though you don't agree with it, it's their business and they are the ones who should sort that,

Yeah i think that is the way to do it , allthough we have had a sit down before and we outlined some of the issues but i dont think it did any good. I think what happened was that they went out to "look at houses" but in actually fact they werent , at one point the chick was coming home and ( i believe ) pretending to ring the rental agency only to exclaim that they werent successfull .

Last time i checked it took a few days for the rental agency to approve you for a house . . This is one of the things that drives me absolutely nuts, the level of manipulation and self righteosness from this chick ( i use the term losely ) is ridiculous .

To be honest i think she is banking on the fact that my family is too kind hearted to kick her out because of her child .
This will not last though as we are all getting to the point of no return . Tommorow i will have a meeting with the rest of the family and sort some things out , I will report back here with what concludes .

Regarding their bussiness you are correct, its between them, however when it overflows and starts to affect my household then i have no choice but to put the situation right , there is a reason why all of my family and friends hate this chick, and allthough you are correct this isnt their house and they have to abide by the rules and have some respect for the people that are putting them up . I agree with what you said though and will only address the issues that affect me and mine directly.

Thank you for your reply , i appreciate it .

-Omega

a reply to: 8675309jenny

Well it is , see my last post about how they have been dragging it out and/or pretending its in the works .
Im thinking i might have to take them and personally make sure that they get housing applications in .

If they want to act like children then i think i am going to have to treat them like children . (regarding moving out i mean )
Everyone is sick of it .

Ill report back .

-Omega

Members

Just wanted to say thank you for all your replies, and i apologize for not being able to reply to them all tonight so i will finish getting around to the replies tommorow .

I would also like to thank those of you who are sincerely trying to help me , i appreciate it .
Regarding food poisoning and such, i have run through many a scenario before lol .
Regarding laxatives , This woman punishes my bathroom as it is (Phew) lol .

I will finish the replies tommorow , thanks again for your replies .
I will seriously be taking them under advisement , and i will be having a meeting with the rest of the family tommorow to try and work something out with this whole situation.
Ill report back


-Omega

a reply to: Omega85

The best thing would be to get with the family member who has the child with her, and tactfully point out the issues. Let him know that you can see how she is using her own child to control things, and that this isn't good for the child, either. It's possible that he might realize this, and might want to take some legal action regarding custody. Documenting her actions would be a very good plan in that case.

Tell her to not let the door hit her ass on the way out, and explain why. There's no excuse to put up with that, put your foot down and boot her out. If you can do it legally, have the police escort her out. Maybe it'll sink in that she needs to straighten up if it comes to that. Doubtful with attitudes like hers, but maybe.

a reply to: Omega85

Wow! Just a thought. When this person is verbally abusive,
do NOT respond in the way in which you probably already know she wants you to.
This will eventually stop her Irritable Vowel Syndrome! She is feeding herself off of your FeedBack!!! She Obviously has some self esteem issues.
Next, exercise Your Grand Parental Rights, and take her to court for custody of that child. So yah, you will have to say the father of this child is unsuitable as well as the Mother, but explain what you are going to do first with the father, so he knows what is going down. Then talk the relative into dumping his garbage, the mother, and moving on with his life. All the while letting him father his child and stay with you until he is on his feet. Then help the father move out into a home of his own. Hopefully the Father will have met another woman and maybe then he can have back his child and enjoy a fairly normal life. Yes there will be custody sharing here with the useless mother, somewhat, unless the courts can see the truth about this woman, and NOT allow visitation EVER!

One more thing, my Wife just mentioned this to me, is it a Fact that the child in question, is actually the relatives?
Is the Father secure in knowing this? Could this wench be using an illegitimate child as a weapon?

I do wish You the Best of Good Luck in this endeavor!!! Syx.

a reply to: Omega85

create an eviction notice and serve it to her.

a reply to: LadyGreenEyes

Hi , thank you for your reply.
Sounds like something i should think about , I have had a chat like this in the past but it doesnt seem to go anywhere .
There was a big talk about the situation today when me and my girlfriend were woken up by them yelling at each other and carrying on and so the whole situation had a massive spotlight thrown on it which i honestly hope served as a "wake up call" to both off them .

Thats a good point too, i dont think the father is fully and totally aware of his legal options should the situation go that way , i know personally that if it DOES go that way then my family and i would do anything in our power to make sure the child goes with the responsible adult .

I know that i am friends with a few people in the legal arena and so i might scout around and find some infomation about that field then let him know .

Thank you for your reply, appreciate it .

- Omega

a reply to: Nyiah

Hi , thanks for your reply .

I have honestly thought about this exact thing before , I would only do this kinda thing as a last resort or if the situation really called for it .
The thing is , If this wasnt a family issue and they were a couple of strangers the whole situation would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier .
So because of the family thing i find myself emotionally involved with it , i guess i have to try not let that happen though .

I guess if they dont have the respect for family , then i shouldnt either.
It really is one of those "treat others the way you would like to be treated" things , and if they arent having the respect for me and mine then i shouldnt have it for them .

The family thing really does complicate things though .
I appreciate your reply


-Omega

originally posted by: SyxPak
a reply to: Omega85

Wow! Just a thought. When this person is verbally abusive,
do NOT respond in the way in which you probably already know she wants you to.
This will eventually stop her Irritable Vowel Syndrome! She is feeding herself off of your FeedBack!!! She Obviously has some self esteem issues.
Next, exercise Your Grand Parental Rights, and take her to court for custody of that child. So yah, you will have to say the father of this child is unsuitable as well as the Mother, but explain what you are going to do first with the father, so he knows what is going down. Then talk the relative into dumping his garbage, the mother, and moving on with his life. All the while letting him father his child and stay with you until he is on his feet. Then help the father move out into a home of his own. Hopefully the Father will have met another woman and maybe then he can have back his child and enjoy a fairly normal life. Yes there will be custody sharing here with the useless mother, somewhat, unless the courts can see the truth about this woman, and NOT allow visitation EVER!

I see what you mean , and to be honest i have started "not taking the bait" as they say and instead being very up front about things . While this creates tension , i am at the point now where i am finding it really hard to give a care.
I have started being up front about the whole passive aggressive thing aswell and it seems to be effective and they seem to be following the rules i have set for now . I think they both know that im not taking any more crap , which is good i think .

One more thing, my Wife just mentioned this to me, is it a Fact that the child in question, is actually the relatives?
Is the Father secure in knowing this? Could this wench be using an illegitimate child as a weapon?

This is a really good question, thank you for bringing it up .
I am not sure if he knows this for a fact but given the nature of the mother, i wouldnt put it past her .
She is really vindictive and spitefull and i feel manipulative , i am not sure but it really wouldnt surprise me .

I do wish You the Best of Good Luck in this endeavor!!! Syx.

Thank you , I really appreciate it

-Omega

a reply to: Omega85

You are Welcome! Of course it's good that they are seeing that You are not taking any more of their crap! It is definitely a step in the Right Direction. Try hard not to back down from your set rules. Even a little here little there backing down will let her think she will once again become dominant. Can't have that!
Keep that Legitimacy angle in mind too. Look into your grand parental rights too, it may come in handy.

Best of Luck!!! Syx.

House rules and a rota of duties. When I worked in catering management and there were lazy staff, it always worked. If they didn't do their rota'd duties they didn't get their bonus.

Civility, manners, no shouting, no emotional blackmail etc part of the rules.

Even though you described it as your daily environment and not a workplace, if anyone strays from their duties it is easier to broach the subject.