a reply to: Krazysh0t
I've had excellent luck dealing with cops for the last few years. The funny thing is that when I was a straight edged law abider I got a ticket every
6 months like clockwork. 'Yes sir' 'no sir' say nothing unnecessary, hands at ten and two, obviously nervous- never got me anywhere.
I rarely get pulled over anymore and I can think of a handful of reasons that might be.
1. I'm a big bald white guy.
2. I always wear my seatbelt.
3. I drive an SUV with dark tinted windows now, and it's not ideal for a cop to come up on a vehicle where the occupants can see him and he can't
But in the last 9 years I have not had one single ticket, out of roughly 6 stops of varying severity, from sneaking into their search area while
driving on a suspended license in order to save my mom for being arrested for daring to bother them with repeated domestic violence calls, to not
having a front license plate and being seen leaving a medical marijuana dispensary. (and yes, they let me off with a warning for driving on a
suspended into an area where a guy fitting my description was allegedly coming to kill the other party in a domestic dispute, I got the person they
were searching for, and we left in a tow truck with them none the wiser- so you'd be amazed just how much you can get away with if you know the score
and work the situation accordingly)
The way I do it is a combination of what they'd have you do and what I think I should do.
Number one with a bullet, I show them I'm not going to hurt them- I don't get anything ready for them, I don't roll down my windows, I just turn
off the car and keep my hands on the wheel until they are next to me.
But number two, I control the conversation in exactly the same way I did when I was a telemarketer. I give the first greeting, I tell them why I think
they pulled me over, and the minute they confirm or correct that guess I tell the story in the most favorable light, with the occasional good natured
jab at the unreasonable rules their boss asks them to enforce. For example,
"Morning officer, I saw you double take when I pulled out of the clinic. I assume you want to see a sealed container and a doctor's
"Well yeah, but I pulled you over for the front license plate that's missing".
"Yeah, I've got it here- I found it hanging by one screw and didn't wanna lose it, but I know your boss wants those red light cameras to get me so
I'll run by my grandpa's place and use his tools to put it back on. He used to run the Texaco station not far from your department actually- name
mean anything to you?"
"Well I don't know if that's the reason..."
"Whatever you say sir, so anyway is there anything else you need to see or am I free to go?"
And then I leave without him even remembering to see the reco and the bag from the clinic still stapled shut.
I barely let them get a word in edgewise, and what I'm looking for is for the guy to be putting all of his brainpower into picking out the relevant
information from what I'm telling him. I take him off of his script that leads to him dealing with me as an object and put him into a real
conversation with a human being who is telling him all the things he needs to hear and being friendly, but not making it easy for him to take his time
and think about any extra observations he might make that would lead to a search or an extra violation.
Long story short- the respect and compliance you give to the police is always determined by self interest- there are cases where you've gotta get in
their space, question their orders, talk over them, and lie like it was a natural bodily function, and it won't get you shot- it'll keep you free.
That's why this cop puts out his "please don't mess with my guys" letter- because his guys are incompetent and poorly trained and they can be out
thought or out fought when necessary, which is the whole reason they get scared and trigger happy.