Your #1 problem

originally posted by: Rodinus

originally posted by: Thefarmer
I have a life of ups and downs just had a my 1st baby and got a new job, about to take my lorry license

But also not long found out that my nans cancer has spread even after a load of chemo

Life is full of happy and sad times but it's how we deal with it makes us the people we are

My heart goes out to you and you're family rodinus

Mate... that is a bummer for your Nan...

I cannot suggest anything else apart from these simple words : Stay strong for your loved ones and yourself...

My thought are with you too.

Live life to its fullest...

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Thank you buddy

And that it what we all must do defenatly

Live our lives to the fullest every day

a reply to: Rodinus

Thanks, it's appreciated .

Although it sucks sometimes, i've never lost my sense of humor .

I hope everything goes well with you and your family.

For me it's family stressing me out.

I've gone and made it worse by talking about one of them in an email, but accidentally sent it to the one I was dissing. It was really mean. I feel so bad. I've apologized and confessed how it happened. Not sure that is gonna get me off the hook. It won't.

a reply to: violet

A word to the wise, violet.

Family is a word which is often misused. People use it to refer to the people to whom one has some biological connection, persons with whom one has similarities in the genetic coding which informs the shape and function of every cell and organ within ones body. This is the wrong way to use that term in my opinion.

Family, real family, are the ones you can trust when you cannot even trust yourself, the people who make life worth living, who make it a pleasure to wake up and breathe ones first conscious breath of the day. There are many people to whom I am related, with whom I have no contact, through my own choice. My father is one of these, since the last time I saw him, about ten years ago, I told him in no uncertain terms that if I ever laid eyes on him again, I would kill him.

If members of your gene line are causing you pain and torment, then you are under no obligation to consider them family at all, because family is about more than genetics, but about a common bond, bringing people together as a unit of symbiotic beings, each the better for the presence and input of the others. I do still have genetic relations in my family, my sister, my mother, a few cousins and the like, but also the firm friends I have made, at whose side I have weathered hardships, who have been as brothers and sisters to me and asked nothing in return. To these people, I have sworn my heart, for I love them all as FAMILY.

Life in general. Too complex to explain and I'd bore myself to tears trying to. Kids are great. Fiance is great. Everything else is snafu. That's why politics and looking at the world are a nice relaxing break from reality.

Scary but true.

I really have a problem with myself, I cannot seem to find my muse. I hate my job and I can't see myself working at the same job no matter what it is for more than 2 years. I am not good at anything, I am just mediocre at everything. I am cursed with my way of thinking, I just can't "suck it up" and be a zombie for the rest of my life. I am stuck in a hole and can't get out. Society is just so boring, we are expected to work 9 to 5 for the rest of our life and retire at 65 only to have a heart attack and die.

sorry to be a debby downer but you said vent lol

my baby boy is almost 17, and beginning to find his own life. Yeah...its what happens around that age....but i hate it.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I hope he finds it, I really do.

a reply to: Shepard64

i've spent his life preparing him to be a strong, independent leader. He is incredibly insightful and should do well in life, if he doesn't get drawn off the beaten path along the way.

a reply to: charles1952

My biggest problem is me. My goal is to become holy, but it's easy to become sidetracked.

Holy self awareness Charles!

:-)

You just identified the problem for most of us - I had a similar chat with myself not two days ago. (I was only partially listening...)

We have met the enemy, but - it's difficult to circumvent. If we could only get over ourselves

a reply to: AnuTyr

Dear AnuTyr,

Thanks very much for your interest. I'll try to be brief, but that may make things more confusing.

No, I don't want to be a minister. That's not where my talents lie, and I don't hear a calling for it. Besides I'm too old for that now.

As for leading a less sinful life, that's not quite it. Let's say your married or have a very dear and loved friend. Is your intention to avoid hurting her, or is it to show her love all the time, surround her in it? Avoiding sin is one thing, but having complete love for the Other is the true goal.

War is, in the end, a question for governments. Of course I don't approve in most circumstances, but I don't have enough information to make the judgment myself. Defending others by violence or sacrificing my life? I think I can do that. Self defence? Just me being threatened? I don't know, that one's iffy.

Love plants and animals and don't destroy the enviroment. How much holier can one get than that?

That's a good thing of course, but when you're given a present, do you love the gift or the gift-giver? Nature is a wondrous gift which directs us back to the Giver. Certainly, destroying a gift is foolish, and can sometimes be fatal, but it is only a signpost directing us home.

What would you need to help you along with that?

The problem is with me, not a lack of support from others. The best anyone can ask for is for prayers, and sometimes a reminder of the goal if it seems their headed off-track.

Just listen to that voice that tells you if what you are doing is hurting someone.

I wish my parents had heard that voice when I was being bad. It might have saved me some spankings. Sometimes causing hurt is a good thing.

With respect,
Charles1952

originally posted by: rockintitz
Forget politics or world problems totally. I want to know what is the biggest problem in your life right now. What stresses you the most? Why?

Lame arsed first world problems for me, motivation to work a full 5/6 days in a row instead of having long weekends partying in my little corner of SW Englands coast. Plenty of work around (I'm self employed general building/property maintenance) but so far this year I've done 5 days in a row only three times because I didn't need to do any more to pay for a life that I'm happy with. Even giving BS "Sorry, I've got too much on at the moment" to potential customers on the phone because I can't really be that bothered to chase their coin.

I almost envy those people who are bewitched by the media and the 'shiny things' they want from advertisers, it motivates them to work as much as they can. But I don't envy their bank loans, car finance, satelite TV packages, credit card bills, etc, got none of that myself hence my lazyness...but if there was a motivation shop in town I'd be there right now to buy some.

As I said, a totally lame whinge, I accept that completely...and I offer my honest thoughts of compassion to everyone in this thread who is facing challenges much greater than I am right now. My life has not always been so good though, from 6 months sleeping rough as a 16 year old to losing multiple loved ones in a 12 month period, so I'm probably well overdue for a crisis. Up's n down's is all life is in my opinion, but I'd never truly appreciate the good times without experiencing the challenges first.

My two main problems right now are both personal issues with woman in my life.

The first with my ex wife constantly using our son as a weapon to get her way and to infiltrate my current relationship.

The second being, my current better half, being extremely jealous of everything under the sun. For an ATS specific example. If any poster has an avatar that depicts a female. She starts asking who is that. Why are you talking to them. I mean really. I point out to her that they are just in the same thread. I am in fact not talking to them. We are all talking about the same subject lol. My avatar even has our pet names for each other carved into a tree. Which I did to put a smile on her face. Yet I for sure must be trolling ATS for some side action lol.

I pay attention to her more than most guys do to their girlfriends or wife. Yet it is never enough. We live together and if I am not spending all my free time with her then she pouts and complains. If I want to go out by myself. She always wants to go with. Sometimes I need a little space for myself. It does not mean I am going to run out the door and jump into the arms of someone else. I have never ever, ever, cheated on anyone.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Well said. Very true. My family causes me immense pain. I have distanced myself from them at times. It helped once I made up with them. Yet they start up again! The thing is now. I have began to speak my mind. They don't like it. I was always the quiet one. They live far enough away that I only see them once a year.

My sister is the main problem. She will call ahead and say now when we come with dad, we don't need all your kids and grandkids there, making noise. We want a nice " family" visit with just us guys. Like I am to keep it a secret they are coming. At first I obeyed and did not invite my son & his family. My daughter just came anyways with her child. Then I find out my sons wife is hurt I never invited her and the kids.my son was hurt beyond belief. I took the blame for it, always have. I finally spoke up and said you will not tell me who to have at MY house. This is awkward for me coming up with ways to keep them away. So she stopped doing this. They are coming again and she's given her dumb instructions on which days they can come, while they are in town. She simply does not get how rude she is. How it places me in an awkward position and my kids know anyways and I hurt them. I'm too embarrassed to say it was her. I've told her off about it and she is hurt. Well too bad. Why have I been taking the blame? Why?

Somewhere along the line she appointed herself the family boss. I am sick of it. So it will be back to distancing once again. Their visit will not go well. I plan to speak my mind.

I have a gay daughter and she was always asking " is she still that way? Do you still love her?" She tried stopping her girlfriend from coming as well, so our dad does not find out this atrocity. They are too afraid to admit to my family in England my daughter is a lesbian and got married to a girl. Get with the times! Why are we hiding everything? We aren't royalty. Not above everyone else. I felt sorry for my daughter, she was hurt, but does not know it's been hidden from my family in England. She came to the wedding and gasped when my daughter danced with her wife. Oh my goodness, they are dancing!! And I cannot believe how nice this wedding is " like a real one" . # off!

So you are so right about this genetic silliness.
Good post.

a reply to: rockintitz

No money, job or money for school. I'm a stay at home mom. I love my son but I want a career as well but that requires money for school and well I can't get any. It is very frustrating and just adds to my depression. I have thought about starting a Go Fund Me account. I mean why not? People have them for stupid things like boob jobs, computers and cell phones. I want to go to school!

a reply to: mblahnikluver

Not sure what you want to do....but I didn't go to school. May be the only person in the country doing what I do without a degree....but it can be done.

and I built my career while still being the primary caregiver to that 17 year old brat I mentioned earlier.

a reply to: violet
oh violet, I couldn't help but to totally crack up about the email mistake. been there. done that.


my mom always said you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

just cause they are family don't feel obligated to cater to them. especially your sister. that's BS if she can't accept your family.

I learned to speak my mind to the 'family' years ago. it's a constant battle even still though. If I don't want to go to a stupid family event, I'm not going. stop hedging on me and making me feel guilty. not gonna happen.

a reply to: rockintitz

this is an easy one.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

big pharma.

I have Diabetes and COPD (hospitalized three times in heart failure) Dr. told me after the second episode I would not likely survive a third. I proved him wrong. Lost my house due to bankruptcy because I can't work. Living in a basement apartment now.
I have taken the Dali Llamas advice.
"If a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry. If a problem cannot be solved, worrying will not help."

No real #1 problem.

a reply to: charles1952

yeah take care of your old woman many people get deeply depressed when their loved ones move on. But that's life.

Hang on a little longer and we will experience all this advancing world has to offer.