It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Tell me your favorite joke!

page: 2
5
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 11:53 AM
link   
Two bananas are standing next to a river, having a conversation when they see a turd floating down stream.
The turd says to them, "Jump in. The water is warm. It feels great!" and he floated down stream
One banana turned to the other and said, "Do you believe that piece of $#!*"


Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One fish turned around and said to the other, "Dam!"




posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 11:54 AM
link   
Oh my.....a reply to: ThisIsMyRifle



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 11:58 AM
link   
What do u call fluff that's pink ?
Pink fluff !
What do u call fluff that's purple ?
Pink fluff holding its breath !



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 11:58 AM
link   
We're still waiting for the punch line.about clusters last stand.


edit on AM000000310000000883159312014-08-01T11:59:14-05:00 by AutumnWitch657 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 12:07 PM
link   
Chuck Norris can slap the headless horseman


In the face


!
What's the element that's not on the periodic table ! The element of surprise !
edit on 1-8-2014 by Denoli because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 12:24 PM
link   
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

- I went to the zoo the other day. It was completely empty of animals except for one dog. It is was Shih Tzu.

- Where do animals go when their tails fall off? The Retail store.

- A magician was driving down the road....then he turned into a driveway.

- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!


(post by Beartracker16 removed for a serious terms and conditions violation)

posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 12:43 PM
link   
a reply to: Beartracker16

Dirty, but I like it. My fiance works in a vets office. I am going to share this one with her.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 01:20 PM
link   
a reply to: imnotanother

Where do you get dragon milk???? From a short legged cow.

Did you hear about the man who walked into a second hand store to get one for his watch?

How about the dog that was walking down the street and saw a fence with a sign that read "wet paint" and then did.

Heard about the Uah bird? A one pound bird that lays a 2 pound egg. UUUUUU---AAAAHHH

How about the three pieces of rope that walk into the bar. The first piece of rope asks for a drink and the bartender says Hey arn't you a piece of rope? and the rope says yes. Bartender says get out, we don't serve rope here. Second piece of rope, same thing with the same answer. Third piece of rope then twists around loops through himself and pulls up tight and then tousles the ends of his strands and goes up to the bartender and demands a drink. Hey, arn't you a piece of rope".... No,, Im a frayed knot.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 01:38 PM
link   
 


off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 02:02 PM
link   

originally posted by: AutumnWitch657
We're still waiting for the punch line.about clusters last stand.


I believe the question is the joke.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take it for a drag.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 03:44 PM
link   
The first one only works if you have a British or Australian accent. In the US we say it with a short a like ah. Or like fa la la la la. Pasta . Pah stuh.
We're so unrefined.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 03:48 PM
link   
Oh, in that case he he tee he he....




I don't get it.



I do however get your joke about the poor doggy.
There was a dog like that in our neighborhood when I was a kid. One ear was torn off in a fight. He lost a leg when he got hit by a car.He lost his tail in a screen door.... We called him Lucky.


dcolades reply to: Dapaga



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 03:56 PM
link   
And further why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?d reply to: imnotanother



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 03:57 PM
link   
 


off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 04:09 PM
link   
*** REMINDER ***


15b.) Profanity: You will not use profanity in our forums on the Websites, and will neither Post with language or content that is obscene, sexually oriented, or sexually suggestive nor link to sites that contain such content. You will also not use common alternative spellings or net-speak alternative for profane words.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 04:18 PM
link   
a reply to: elevatedone

Let's clean this up....... What do you get when you get when you cross Deja vu. With amnesia? The feeling that you have forgotten the answer before.

I almost had a psychic. Girlfriend once, but she broke up with me before we got together.




edit on 1-8-2014 by Taupin Desciple because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 04:48 PM
link   
I don't think I should say, might get in trouble.. . a reply to: AutumnWitch657



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 04:50 PM
link   
I like the anti jokes.

Here's one.

What's sad about a car fill of black people driving off a cliff?

. . . they were my friends.



posted on Aug, 1 2014 @ 06:59 PM
link   
so a budhist goes to a hot dog cart and says 'make me one with everything'




top topics



 
5
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join