I can't help but turn bak to this subject, because like I already stated, the country I am in is more socialist on a spectrum than the one I came
from, and there is a lot I have come to understand from that slight difference that I think is not easy to grasp at first look!
Also along the theme of "feminine" type of system, human relations are valued higher than objects.
There is the aspect of individual merit being meaningless compared to the quality of your human interactions.
Getting a raise or even getting your foot in the door depends upon that, not what you have done (experience, diplomas...). Getting a good price on
things, or services, depends upon that.
A person must spend time chatting with the baker when buying bread, to construct a relationship of trust. Networking is essential- it is THE key. If
you do not work on that, you can forget getting anywhere.
If you make a faux pas, piss off someone, or god help you, give the impression of being "in your own bubble" (independant) you can quickly find
yourself cut off from all interactions! The word gets around town quickly.
It's all part of the peer pressure thing, to conform to the collectively held morals.
A while ago, we noticed that we stopped receiving mail. Even when we had package, the mail man left a note for us to go get it at the post office,
rather than go up to our door, where I was home (and my car was out front and visible- it was obvious someone was home).
When I went to the post office to get it, I asked the teller why we weren't getting our mail, and why he doesn't come to the door. He shrugged and
said, "Perhaps you need to talk to the mail man and see what he says, what the problem is." The message was evident- you have a relational problem.
You may have done something, somewhere, that pissed him off, or that he heard about and has decided you are a bad person.
I was frustrated that this was not viewed as someone doing their job badly, but rather as someone doing their moral duty as a citizen. Turned out it
was another case of someone feeling jealous that we have a jet fighter in our front yard, and being quite visible as "different" in our town. This is
a no-no in this culture- you're being a show off to make others feel bad. You are being ethically corrupt and insensitive to those around you. You are
thinking more about your own pleasure than the good of the whole.
My american way of obeying my boss and trying to do the best work possible was also seen as ethically corrupt, and caused me much grief- it is seen as
lacking a sense of solidarity with my co-workers.
This is what I mean by judging moral de-generacy as being relative! There is two different ways to look at the same exact situation or behavior.
Theirs has just as much value! We could call it ass kissing- they would call it constructing relational bonds with others. We hold high the individual
who is self centered and ambitious, they prefer the individual who is highly conscious of those around him, taking time to interact with the
individuals and care about their feelings and thoughts.
IQ is less valuable than EQ.
If playing a board game, the important thing is who
you cheat, not if
This study, if I understood correctly didn't pit individuals against each other. If they were gambling with others at the table, it would be
acceptable (in unsaid terms) to cheat and steal from the dealer, or from other players that have a reputation for being egotistical. But not the ones
who have shown to be likeable to their peers, making people laugh or feel good.
Lucky for me, my husband has a very high Emotional Quotient, and knows how to play this game, to balance his (and my) taste for individual expression
and ambition. We are always teetering between being socially rejected and seducing the people to let us slide this time because they find us congenial
edit on 27-7-2014 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)
edit on 27-7-2014 by Bluesma because: (no reason