a reply to: MagesticEsoteric
"I'd agree with the statement, it does seem like he wants to be older than he truly is. In my opinion, from what I've read, it doesn't so much seem
like he doesn't understand or doesn't comprehend that you love him, but it seems to me that he needs to understand his privilege(edit). It would be
beneficial in my mind to help him understand who he is, and what he wants to do, but guide him in such a way that allows him to discover himself.
There is also a possibility that he has something on his mind, or something troubling him. In many cases, people, not only children, will bully others
because they themselves are either stressed, jealous, or nervous about something. Personally, I don't know him, but this sounds like it may be the
case. Talk to him, and pry a bit if you have to, but don't try to force him to talk if he doesn't want to. As for the aggressive outbreaks, I don't
quite understand the magnitude of it, but I'm to assume that it would most likely be punching, kicking, etc. As for this, I agree with disciplining a
child, be it by removal of privilege or by force. Obviously, one does not have to a beat a child, but anything you may find fit to enforce the idea
that he has no right to strike anyone without reason. However, this could also return to him just having a rebellious streak. Perhaps he needs to be
shown new things, other than sports. Try introducing him to music and instruments. Perhaps he simply needs to express himself. Hopefully my advice
may help you. Best of wishes to you and your family, and I hope that all goes well in your endeavors."
Okay, so my 15 year old son just wrote that. I asked him to come and read the thread and I then asked his opinion. His opinion is exactly quoted
above. he typed it himself.
Obviously, I'm a parent, but there are sometimes things parents can not comprehend, things we just don't get. So my son gave is honest 15 year old
opinion. He went on to tell me that sometimes when people are being bullied they release their anger, anxiety and/or stress on other people. He went
on to say that "Sometimes the biggest of bullies have been bullied themselves".
So, that's it. I don't really have anything to add. I didn't have this issue with any of my four children...my 15 year old son being the youngest. I
have three grown daughters. I did have different issues with two of my daughters while they were in high school. One of my daughters has a famous
father and she told a friend of hers in high school. Once her story spread she got bullied. The odd thing about this daughter was that she fought back
before ever telling us what was going on at school. She was an honor roll student who did get suspended that one time for fighting. But... she did
fight the bullies back and yes there were several. My other daughter, received scholarships to attend an all girl private high school after having a
congressional acknowledgement by Congressman Adam Schiff (she went on to receive a US Congress Academic Award upon graduating from a public high
school). After her sophomore year at this all girl school and even after being the athletic MVP as a freshman, she did everything she could to get
expelled from this school. She did get expelled and ended up graduating from a public school. I have one daughter who never gave me any problems and
she's graduating college from a public California University on Saturday. The daughter that got expelled from the private school graduates from Temple
University next year and the daughter that got bullied dropped out of college and now runs her own business...she's very successful.
My husband and I both thought that we were giving our children everything. I remember the beginnings of My Space and how awful I thought that was for
my girls. Now, I have to worry about Face Book and every other social media outlet in regards to my 15 year old son who thus far, has never ever done
anything wrong (keeping my fingers crossed).
Many of the times, it's never your fault as a parent. All you can do, is do your best with what you have and protect your children....just don't
overprotect them. Reality for an 11 year old nowadays IMVHO is good as long as it's supervised.
The days of shielding our children from reality are over. You better let them know what the hell is out there before they learn it the hard way.
This again is only the opinion of myself and my 15 years old son. His opinion is highlighted and quoted.
I hope this helps you out. If there's anything I can do, please let me know via private message.
TPE & 15 Year Old Son
I forgot that when my son was in kindergarten, he was bullied. His father and I told him after getting no resolution from the principal, to go to
school the next day and knock that kid down on his ass...he did, was reprimanded and continued on with his normal education. This may sound mean but
to us as parents, it was the only way to handle a bully. My son has had the same set of friends since kindergarten and in my opinion they're all
pretty normal boys, most of them are straight A students. We had to use ruff justice since the school did nothing. That's how our parents raised us
and so be it. I believe in fighting back when you get no help. My son differs....I'm old school though.
The other kids parents removed their son from the school...we have never seen him since. As a matter of fact, the other boys mother was on the PTA!
edit on 5/14/14 by ThePublicEnemyNo1 because: Spelling