You know what's hard? Meeting guy friends in your 30's arrrhhh!!!

It's kinda weird, I'm in my late 30's now and my friends are kinda a hodge podge of people. All really good people mind you. But some are kinda falling off the radar. The rest are good, but it feels like a lot of the same ole same ole. So I've been trying to meet some new people. It's really tricky. Arrrhhhh. What pisses me off is say for example is I'll post an ad online just strictly looking for guy friends. But guess who tends to reply, focking bunch of gays! Pisses me off. It's so annoying. Like I mean come on, get real. Just looking to meet some normal people around where I live and I get all the weirdoos. arrhhhh, just shoot me now! please! put me out of my misery ha ha. Just feel like I'd like to meet maybe 1 or 2 more male friends in my area but it seems really tricky. Most of them are a bunch of freaks. What should I do???

reply to post by spartacus699


I'm no expert but you might try joining some local clubs that have interests similar to your own. I am not a great fan of bars but they do offer some benefits like dart leagues, or you could just join a bowling team. Just some suggestions. Hope it helps.

reply to post by spartacus699


Stop placing ads firstly,

Get out and do what you enjoy, like minded people will be doing the same and you'll meet them by default.
It's not rocket science.

Cody

reply to post by spartacus699


Despite the avatar I am a guy, a little older than you with the same problems that way.

A good male to male friendship seems hard to find these days.

I am wondering if the very meaning of friendship is changing in our age. Sometimes I think well the good old days of best friends are gone and the age of everyone's a friend really who you interact with are here, but in a much more shallow way?

You strike me (having read many of your posts) as a guy I would enjoy talking to. You are bright, friendly, positive, well informed and a very good verbal communicator.


If its any consolation I'm glad you are around here at ATS; kinda good company!

spartacus699
It's kinda weird, I'm in my late 30's now and my friends are kinda a hodge podge of people. All really good people mind you. But some are kinda falling off the radar. The rest are good, but it feels like a lot of the same ole same ole. So I've been trying to meet some new people. It's really tricky. Arrrhhhh. What pisses me off is say for example is I'll post an ad online just strictly looking for guy friends. But guess who tends to reply, focking bunch of gays! Pisses me off. It's so annoying. Like I mean come on, get real. Just looking to meet some normal people around where I live and I get all the weirdoos. arrhhhh, just shoot me now! please! put me out of my misery ha ha. Just feel like I'd like to meet maybe 1 or 2 more male friends in my area but it seems really tricky. Most of them are a bunch of freaks. What should I do???

The weirdos typically will post ads looking for "guy friends, no gay". Who does that?

Get out to meet people.

LOL...i really think you just make this crap up. I really do.

So here's what you do: realize that none of those "freaks" in your area can be stranger than you. THen go and enjoy their crazy asses for some company.

LOL, online ad look for straight males. That just sounds like an ad for some "down low".

Most normal guys in their 30's are married and have kids. So it is a little understandable that their priority now is to their family. Going out with old friends is not among the priority list anymore as compared when they were still single. Plus you put it in an ad which most probably is not among their favorite website to visit.

Try instead to join clubs that interest you. If you are a biker, then join the bikers' club. You will meet like-minded people in this way.

whatever your hobby is just do it like your still 13. max it out. say hi to every person you see doing the same thing. ask questions after just getting the answer to another one. some people will think your weird but mind you much less then the ones reading an add online for "Guy friends"

this way anyone you meet will hopefully be into the same things and it will be a seamless friendship.

reply to post by spartacus699


I actually love your posts, They are great lol. As regards to meeting people, Just get out there. Lol posting an ad to meet people does come across as shady. Join a hobby club or go to a gym or something...I'm still laughing

reply to post by spartacus699

Heck, you can have most of my "friends". Where should I send them too? I have no doubt that they will keep you very busy, and I'm ready for a rest.

See ya,
Milt

colddeadhands
reply to post by spartacus699

 

I'm no expert but you might try joining some local clubs that have interests similar to your own. I am not a great fan of bars but they do offer some benefits like dart leagues, or you could just join a bowling team. Just some suggestions. Hope it helps.

DefinateIy not rocket science..I met some of my best friends in my late twenties/early thirties by joining a rec hockey team..

Thanks for the laugh this morning...

You put an ad out saying you want to meet guy friends.

Then you act shocked over the fact that gay people replied?

Gay people can be loyal and loving friends.

Well, I like solutions so here you go...

I have too many friends. Please PM me your mailing address.

I have decided to send you some of my friends.

PS. Do not loan Michael any money.

LMAO sorry dude but placing an ad for "male friends" is quite possibly the gayest thing Ive ever heard of
How could you respond to that and not seem like a freak hahaha

That out of the way I hear ya, I moved to a country in which I knew no one 6 years ago, the only friends I made were women as its just easier to strike up a convo with one (for me at least) and its not weird to ask for a number. I get kinda freaked whenever a guy asks me for my number without a good solid reason.

The way I eventually got some mates was playing sport, plenty of cool Aussie expats who between the 40-50 of em always have something to do.
Poker nights, this is a good one for when you do meet meet a cool guy out somewhere, you can invite him to poker get his number and he will know yuor not trying to get into his pants.

Another good one I used was when I went out alone (sad but it was either that or sit in my hotel and watch tv) I find a group of hotties and start up a convo then find a smaller group of guys and ask em to come over and wingman for me.

Hopefully this advice helps you start a few bromances

P.s Bromance is not a gay thing, its the male equivalent of BFFs haha

reply to post by spartacus699


I can relate OP. I am in my early 30s and recently moved around a year ago. I have old friends here where I moved but we haven't been in touch in about 10 years and have drifted apart so I haven't really tried to re-initiate any of those relations. I definitely don't want to have to meet people at bars since I don't drink.

I was shocked and a bit jealous upon reading recently how in Germany how like 60%+ men belong to soccer clubs. I am not a fan of soccer myself but the camaraderie would be nice. If I had not moved from my hometown things may be different. I guess like others have mentioned you have to get out and find activities you enjoy and meet people doing those however in my experience there are few places to do what I enjoy around my area.

My wife is the opposite she makes friends everywhere she goes. Unfortunately I seldom have anything in common with these people and it becomes more of a hindrance to me to interact than anything. Also with couples you have to find 2 people you enjoy being around which can be even more difficult.

Best of luck OP.

BenReclused
reply to post by spartacus699

 

Heck, you can have most of my "friends". Where should I send them too? I have no doubt that they will keep you very busy, and I'm ready for a rest.

See ya,
Milt

edit on 686America/Chicago12RAmerica/Chicago2013-12-01T09:28:26-06:00Sundayu26America/Chicago by BenReclused because: Typo

OP I can say the same thing. Let's swap for a pack of cigarettes. You can have them all and you don't need to worry all of my friends knives are sticking in my back so you will be clear off that.

2 words...sports bar. There's one I've been going to for 3 years. I've made friends with people from teens to 80's. Both men and women. Hell, of a bunch of different nationalities as well.

reply to post by Dumbass


I hear ya,

I peeled away most of my male friends, I got tired of being everyone's extra set of arms lol.

It's really hard to find a good close friend whatever the sex, some one that is not either jealous, wanting all the time, looking for status, has an agenda.

Good luck, and when you do meet people of quality and substance make sure you hold onto them.

Cheers.

i have 1 guy friend. He lives 5 hours away. We see each other a couple times a year.

Otherwise, my "friends" are my wife, my sons, my dogs, and my job. After managing those, I don't have time for anything else. My youngest son and I are "into" the same types of stuff. So he is my hunting buddy and the guy I spend the most time with.

It's a funny thing...I remember going through angst in my late 30s about getting some mates, it must be an age thing.

And I did get some and had quite a social life - it's as though you eventually get what you want by sending out the right vibes, and people can somehow pick up on them.

I'm now sending out unsociable vibes and people leave me alone.

Word of advice...

If you do have a good mate and want to keep him around, make sure you make a good impression on his wife/gf.

If you do, everything's hunky dory.

If you don't, you gradually see less and less of your mate and you're left scratching your head (have I upset him, does he find me boring, what?).

The mysterious silent power of Woman...

Spartacus! You always make me laugh, not because you're trying but because you are so delightful.

Take a beer making course, fly fishing course, cooking class, wine tasting class. ANY kind of class - as long as you're truly interested as then you'll have like interests to share. Join a community association or any sports club that you're interested in. If you go this route bring in a round of coffees as a surprise, easy way to break the ice. The rest will follow naturally.

Remember everyone is crazy in their own way to some degree - but just be yourself. If you are as genuine in person as you are here on ATS you'll have buddies to hang with in no time.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


That's exactly what I was thinking.

Don't blame the gay guys for answering. Online hookups are especially popular with gay men and there is a plethora of closet cases that just want friends.

If you're guy in 30's and genuinely want to make friends then join car or motorcycle club. Car clubs especially have a large variety of men in a relatively heterosexual setting. If you don't have a car then try a model airplane club. Also, gun clubs and archery are places with relatively high numbers of men in ratio to women. They are heterosexual sausage fests.