Today I lose my best friend.

Well, I don't know what to say really but here goes.

Today has been the shortest day of my life. I got up at 15 past 5, and now here we are at 4:03, 2hrs and 37 minutes until my life changes in a way I can never take back. 15 short sweet years together, and I remember the day we brought her home like it was yesterday.

We were looking for a dog fitting for our family, it couldn't be too big because the place we were living was relatively small, but we didn't want a little dog as they tend to have temperament, attachment, dental and small children issues.

At the time I was 12 years old, we were headed 4 hrs east and the weather was scorching, a bright sunny august day heading to an even hotter part of the country. The drive ahead would have seemed endless but my parents decided to make a stop in along the way. Me and my brother had no idea where we were going, and no idea who we were about to meet. We got out of the hot white Pontiac Sunfire and went into this building, asking oodles of questions on the way.

We arrive at our destination and our eyes nearly explode from our head. I a nice wooden box, neatly lined with shredded newspaper lay a litter of puppies. I remember the moment I saw her, I knew immediately that would be our dog. This sweet little dalmation Runt. Her face was all black aside from her snout which was spotted. She had such a pitiful little look, with her ears flopped to the sides and she was whimpering. My father wanted the little boy of the batch that was twice her size happily stomping around, digging in the shavings but no that was my baby. She was the one, I knew the look in her light honey brown eyes meant something more and I couldn't have been more right.

She's been the sweetest most mild tempered dog I've ever met. She was great with us, she was a fierce protector, she was ever so patient, and was my best friend.

I remember when we got to where we were going it was oh so hot, so we went to the lake to relax and play in the water. We kept having to wet the poor thing down because we were worried she would over heat. Mom took her to the shore of the lake her little tale wagging, coo coo cooing with her little red leash and just then a jet boat in the middle of the lake kicked up a fair sized wave, 4 steps into the shore it over took her, and ever since she has HATED water.

I used to feel so bad for that moment, but looking back on it now it brings me to tears. This sweet little went runt, trying to hide in the sand under our feet.

Even as a young dog, an absolute pleasure wouldn't go more than ten feet from me when we were out and about. Never pulled on her leash, always listened unless of course she hadn't seen us in a while because we were in school or parents were working. Then she'd dash out the door and do laps in the lane, us in tow. It was a game to her, and she never went far but she got her way some how or another.

My mother used to watch other kids in the summer from the day care she worked at so couples could go out and be couples, and Nimpo was the sweetest thing in the world. Ever so patient when they pulled her ears or her tail, stood between them and the stairs, let us know if they wandered out of site and could have gotten into something they shouldn't. A sharp loud bark, not threatening but an attention grab to be sure.

She never snapped at anyone, even strangers but she stood her ground when they shouldn't have been there. I remember one of the neighbours came in the back yard once while I was upstairs alone. I suddenly heard this tremendous barking, growling and an awkward hello. The Neighbour (who I knew) had tried knocking on front door but I hadn't heard him, he noticed back door open and came to just shout hello, a young guy my age and Nimpo had him cornered in the yard, Hair on end, all puffed up Death stare, but that was it. She just kept him there, until I came down then all was fine.

So beautiful, so sweet. I count myself very lucky I had the dog I do. Unfortunately old age has taken a beating on her. She's losing her sight and hearing, she's developed a fluid mass on her left side, her hips gave out on the weekend and she can hardly stand. It feels like it struck out of the blue, and so suddenly. The look on her face is heart breaking. She wants to stand, walk around and check in with us but she just has such a hard time. I knew it was coming because she has started to do her business on the floor. The last month. At first it was just while I was at work, and she's old so I figured she couldn't hold it while I'm gone for 8 -9 hrs. Then it became more frequent, and on the weekend her legs just gave up.

I love her so much, I feel so guilty and I wish there was something I could do, how ever an old dogs weakest link is their hips and it just seems like so much has struck all with in the month I don't even think a second mortgage could save her.

I'm absolutely heart broken. Today has been the shortest day of my life. In a complete fog, it passed in a blink. It's 4:22, 2 hrs and 18 minutes and I have to say good bye forever. How the hell am I going to do this.

I really know what you're going through. My dog of 13 years passed away a few years back. They do become a part of the family, more so then most think. CJ knew he was leaving us. The day before he passed he stood at the door just looking at me. I still miss him.

But don't feel bad, your pet had a good life. Be proud that you got to know her.

reply to post by Hijinx


ALL dogs go to Heaven.. I type that as I'm surrounded by 3 Weimaraners and a hermaphrodite Affens Pinscher w/a Napoleanic complex hogging the couch.

You have My empathy and condolences for Your loss.

namaste

My heart breaks for you...I've been there. All you can do is love her and be with her untill the end. Your doing her a favor even though it doesn't feel that way right now.
Old age sucks all around..especially for our furry kids..they are such a part of the family that we forget how short their life spans are..its like you said its like it happens all of a sudden..

reply to post by ieatbrains


hijinks,you just made me cry...I have lost dogs and cats...it is always so hard, but you gave her a good life...hang in there ((((((((hugs)))))) for you...

reply to post by Hijinx


It has happened to me two times in two years and I expect my third dog called Denver has maybe two years left, he is 15 now, my first dog Ellie lived to 16, she eventually passed away due to her heart giving up, the vet said she could have drugs and maybe last another year but she would most likely just sleep all the time and have no energy so we decided to let her go. We didn't think it was right to drug her to keep her going.

My second dog, Gemma, lived to 17 and passed away this August, she was still lively to the end still running around but her liver gave up and she started passing blood so we had to let her go also, it is so hard to let the vet put your dog to sleep but you know that they would be suffering if you keep them alive.

I hope you get through this and just remember all the good times you had with your pet and don't think too much about the last days.

reply to post by Hijinx


That just sucks. I'm so sorry.
I had to have our boxer lab put down last summer because of kidney failure. I feel your pain.
Me and the boys played with her and loved on her and fed her whole packs of treats first though.
Take care of yourself.

Its so heart breaking it is to say goodbye to our pets....we love them dearly and they love us unconditionally. I feel for you....I've been there several times, and it's never easy. Just know you have given your dog a really good life,and love. ...my thoughts and prayers are with you!

reply to post by Hijinx


I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it can be to lost a furry friend. I had to say goodbye to one I grew up with a few years ago. Always remember the happiness they brought you, and never forget how they spent their entire lives ensuring that we always felt loved. Learn from that, and carry it forward in your life. Again, my condolences.

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of a member of your family. You wrote such a beautiful story that you also had me in tears. You were loved for sure, just as she is and was.

I never understood why their life span has to be so darn short. Maybe they are our ambassadors for when our time comes. I send you prayers and vibes of strength and courage.

reply to post by woodsmom


I fed her a small (snack size) bag of lays plain potatoe chips. For whatever reason she went Ape # for them when she was young. She had never had them but she sat very patiently staring, she never begged for anything else ever and when she got one she would chew it very slowly, unlike most dogs vacuuming things back and look oh so pleased.

So I fed her an entire snack bag, a nice piece of roasted chicken with some rice, took her in and just faced the music. I balled my eyes out there, and she just kept licking my hand. She went so quick, and was just gone. It hurts so much she was trying to comfort me in her last breaths.

I will post a picture here in a bit. She passed away at 7:10 pm peacefully in my arms.

Gutted for you man.....But I guess you and she both knew it was the right time. Had to do it once myself, I still well up when I think about it.

Nothing will ever take away or diminish the love you've shared with her.....It'll still be just as strong when the stars burn out.

reply to post by Hijinx


I'm so sorry mate, I have been there before, that is a pain that hurts like no other. There is definitely something unique about the love of a dog. May your memories of your best friend always warm your heart. Your both in mine and my furballs prayers. Good luck mate.

Grim

reply to post by Hijinx


Thank you everyone for the warm wishes, here is a picture of her from Earlier this Evening, I will dig some up from the old laptop from when she was a pup, and youngen.

She is very old in this picture, her spots have muddied, and she looks way tinier than she actually was.

Doesn't help there is a great big coon hound(Brody) sticking her head in the picture.

God I know how you feel!! I just lost my beloved cat earlier this month and made a thread about her and the pain of that loss.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I have lost so many precious animals through the years and it is just gut wrenching to have to say goodbye.

Your beautiful dog is running through sunny fields over the rainbow bridge. She will always love and appreciate all the wonderful years that you have shared together. For your sweet dog, there is no longer pain and suffering, only a beautiful new world to explore and enjoy. One day you will be re-united with tears of happiness. Until then, hold on to those beautiful memories and remember that she lived a long and happy life, just like my sweet kitty.

reply to post by Hijinx


I had to put my old girl down a couple of years ago.
I inherited her from my uncle when he passed and we had her for 10 years, but she immediately bonded with me when he passed.
She had much the same symptoms your girl had.
Just know your girl is no longer in pain and is in peace, most likely running care free along the water with my old girl at the rainbow bridge.
All doggies do go to heaven.

I rarely post on ats, but I never cry when I read a thread either. Until now..

It really hit home for me and I am truly sorry for your loss.

Btw getting another dog will help immensely.

reply to post by Hijinx


Several Stars and a Flag!

You have my deepest condolences!

May she, aka Nimpo, RIP! She's running free in heaven now having heard her creator say ... Good Job Dog!

This will be probably the hardest thing you ever have to do. There is nothing that will make it any better, any less hard. When my fiance and I had to put our cat Mouse down (he was 11, could not eat or drink, had lost all mobility, and was in pain) it broke a chunk of my heart clean off. Standing in the room gently petting him and having to give the vet the nod of the head that meant go ahead and give him "the shot" was painful. My neck hurt for days from straining to simply nod. I knew it was the right thing to do but he was my child. Standing with my hand on his side and feeling his last breath was terrifying. Now months later I am stating to come to terms with the fact that when they are hurting like that it is the humane thing to do. If I were suffering like that I would end it myself. Still it does not make it easy to do. It sucks. You do it because you love them and you cannot let them suffer. Then you spend however long you need dealing with them simply being gone. It takes time. Don't rush the healing process. Just make sure that if you ever think "I wish i would have gone on more walks with her" or " I wish I would have played with her more" or whatever...Don't have those thoughts about your next dog or cat or whatever. Make sure you get as much time with them as you can while they are with you because you will never have enough time with them.

Chin up, it will get better I swear.

Ah! Hijinx, how can this be that I don't know you at all but already you are my friend? Of course it is in the shared understanding of the way that a dog can bring such warmth and joy to our human hearts. And the shared pain that comes with the loss of that loved one.

On the one hand my heart aches with you for your loss. On the other hand I celebrate that there is a thread like this on ATS full of people that have loved their dogs as you and I have.

You know, Hijinx, I have a theory. It goes like this: we humans did not tame dogs. They are busy taming us. One by one, human by human, they are opening our hearts and teaching us about unconditional love. And in so doing they are helping us humans to see each other more clearly too.

Forgive the theorising. I don't really know what else to say when all I'm trying to do is reach out to you and say "I know, I get it, I'm with you".

My dog still comes to me in my dreams and then we play like we always did. Those are times that I wake with a big smile.