Oh lord... why me??

I've recently run into a little problem in my life... For those who know me... You should find this quite amusing...

I was going to put this in the relationship forum, but since there is no relationship as it stands... this will do..

Recently I've found myself very attracted to someone... but...

She is a hardcore fundamentalist Christian!!

We talk about the bible all the time, and some of the answers she comes up with are just off the wall...

When she has nothing to say about my... lets call it my corrections about her faith... her best answer is "I don't have all the answers, so we should just trust in Gods word"

*bangs head on the wall*

I don't know what to do about this chicky... Im crazy about her... but shes just crazy!! LOL

Now im not one to ask for advice about the dating world... Im pretty proficient in that area... but this girl is driving me a little insane...

She believes the bible is inerrant... Gods perfect word... and no matter what I tell her, or show her... shes entirely convinced of what she's been taught...

She even invited me to come to her church for "sunday" worship... *facepalm*

So should I just give up whilst I still have my sanity... or try to pursue this issue and possibly drive myself to the grave in my attempt?

Admittedly she is 12 years younger then me... but I date younger girls anyways...

Whatcha think people?

Akragon
She even invited me to come to her church for "sunday" worship... *facepalm*

Be careful. They will stand at the pulpit and read from the bible about Exodus .. and you say that there is no evidence that the Jews were in slavery in Egypt let alone that they spent 40 years in the desert. Screams of 'blasphemy' and 'the devil is in him!' will fill the air. They'll all grab hold of you and throw you in their deep dark basement to be exorcised of your 'demons'. No one will see you for months while you are being tortured with Jack Chick tracts and endless sermons on how evil everyone except them are. And when you (IF) you finally emerge .. you'll be unrecognizable ... you'll be one of them.

Why don't you try not talking about the Bible all of the time? While I'm not a Fundamentalist, I understand them, and her trying to change your mind, or you trying to change hers is just going to eventually result in no small amount of hostility, because you're essentially talking two different languages.

Given the gulf that exists between the two of you, you're probably best off to find someone else to keep company with.

My brother is quite religious, and his fiancee and I had a chat the other day about whether or not his belief has any impact on their relationship, and she told me that he's very open minded about beliefs and he keeps it to himself, and let others believe and do as they please, so it doesn't disturb their relationship at all, and it's one of the reasons they are actually getting married...

I guess it's pretty much depends on the individual, if she believes in her things and not forcing you to accept it then I think it's great. If she's trying to 'pull' you into believing yourself then the relationship has a potential to get very unhealthy.

If she's open minded, who cares about what one's believes in. As long as you're happy together and feeling connected in your way, what does it matter? Beliefs are peripherals imo, unless they are getting provocative.

I dated a girl about 20 years ago who was also an avid christian and church goer and her answers were always, 'I don't know, but God will have the answers', which also used to drive me mad...

I had grown up in a christian family, but as I got to around 13 years old I realised that it was all indoctrination and brainwashing and I wasn't given the opportunity to find out things for myself, so I broke myself away from the family and the church...

Now the girl I was referring to was also in a christian family since the day she was born and knew no other way and could not make up her own answers which used to make me mad and also bang my head against wall on numerous occasions...

Even though I was mad about her I knew that after 6 months it was not going to work, plus the fact that she didn't believe in sex before marriage, which for me was a big thing, especially after being celibate for 6 months. So due to the fact that I have a big sex drive and I was with a woman who would not have sex and not think for herself, especially around religious thoughts, I broke it off in the best manner I could and basically told her the truth about where I thought I was at and where we were not going to go in our relationship...

She took it pretty well and I found out a few years later that she had married a vicar from her local church..

I know that this probably doesn't really help you very much, but that is my experience anyway...

All the best in what ever you decide...

Cheers

Akragon
We talk about the bible all the time, and some of the answers she comes up with are just off the wall...

Okay ... seriously ... speaking as a female ....

Lots of times girls like bad boys. They think they can save them.
And once saved from being a bad boy, the man will be forever devoted to her.
(that's the thought process ... really)
You may be a 'bad boy' to her. She may just keep trying to save you from yourself.
Don't expect the bible thumping to ever end. You won't change her.

Life is better with a partner who is on the same page that you are on.
It's not a lot of fun when you are with someone who wants to change you.

reply to post by Akragon

If it is meant to be, it is of little consequence that she may see/thinks differently than your good self.

She has a different philosophy than you.

What have you got to lose?

Imagine missing out on the best thing going because you were thinking something................

Recently I've found myself very attracted to someone

Thats sound good! Why not just let her go, and find another one? You are handsome anyway..

No no thats my evil side said..

Now my angel said..let her doing what good for God, take her what ever she will become..i see you love her so..

You better open youtube and search this song.." jesica tutta - show me" the lirick and the beat will set you free..

Okay thats my angel said, me? Listen to angel!

hope you two have Big heart to understand each other..

reply to post by Akragon


if i were you, i would give up.

trying to spoon feed of what we know to strong believers is not good for both you and her.

reply to post by Akragon


I agree with others. Stop talking about the bible all the time. If she insists, at least steer the conversation to Ezekiel's Wheel and how it just may tie in to Ancient Aliens.

After you see how that conversation goes, you just may have a baseline to figure it out.

reply to post by Akragon

As often as like attracts like it can also be well said that opposites also attract. When opposites attract as long as both are willing to accept each other "as is" it can be a wonderful thing- but if that acceptance isn't an integral part of the relationship I'm afraid to say with such a huge fundamental difference/disagreement there exists the possibility of a tragic end to the relationship once the "new" wears off. Just a warning to keep your head up and pay attention.

TDawgRex
reply to post by Akragon

 

I agree with others. Stop talking about the bible all the time. If she insists, at least steer the conversation to Ezekiel's Wheel and how it just may tie in to Ancient Aliens.

After you see how that conversation goes, you just may have a baseline to figure it out.

Actually I've brought that up.... she wouldn't have any of it... LOL

This woman obviously has an unshaken faith and you will not in any way change that, just as she will not change your beliefs. It may not be a problem right now but it may be a big problem in the future. There are risks we take in any relationship so it is up to you whether or not you wish to take it here. I say contiue dating and don't get too serious right now.

reply to post by Akragon


Dont do it, it will never work and I promise you that. Not unless you want to drop your logic and go for then do so.

Akragon

TDawgRex
reply to post by Akragon

 

I agree with others. Stop talking about the bible all the time. If she insists, at least steer the conversation to Ezekiel's Wheel and how it just may tie in to Ancient Aliens.

After you see how that conversation goes, you just may have a baseline to figure it out.

Actually I've brought that up.... she wouldn't have any of it... LOL

I would have loved to have been there to see that conversation. LOL
No, she won't have any of that or anthing else you try to present. Stop trying. Date others and good luck.

Night Star
This woman obviously has an unshaken faith and you will not in any way change that, just as she will not change your beliefs. It may not be a problem right now but it may be a big problem in the future. There are risks we take in any relationship so it is up to you whether or not you wish to take it here. I say contiue dating and don't get too serious right now.

Im not dating her... but I would very much like to...

I know she likes me.... but this is a serious issue apparently...

I can easily tackle all of her fundy beliefs... but she's getting quite mad

Either way I find it extremely amusing... so its worth the hassle

FlyersFan

Akragon
We talk about the bible all the time, and some of the answers she comes up with are just off the wall...

Okay ... seriously ... speaking as a female ....

Lots of times girls like bad boys. They think they can save them.
And once saved from being a bad boy, the man will be forever devoted to her.
(that's the thought process ... really)
You may be a 'bad boy' to her. She may just keep trying to save you from yourself.
Don't expect the bible thumping to ever end. You won't change her.

Life is better with a partner who is on the same page that you are on.
It's not a lot of fun when you are with someone who wants to change you.

This has to be the best thing I have read on ATS so far. She is right in every aspect of that.

reply to post by Akragon


If she's so much of a fundy why would she consider you for a relationship?

Unequally yoked and all... I guess she's not as crazy and by the book?

If she is seriously considering you than I'd say there is an in for reason.

I look at fundys as any other cult member blind to the manipulation a of organized religion.

Yes.. for you this is a dilemma.

Well, 20+ year relationship with an atheist and I believe in a superior being. It CAN be done. If you already have a solid relationship you can hash this stuff out without there being a huge wedge driven between you both. We've had epic battles over things.. but we know the rules.
1 never make it hurtful
2 no ad homs unless its particularly amusing
3 there is an end to the debate
4 never go to bed mad
5 never expect to "enlighten" the other
6 always play devils advocate when its fun
7 use a heated debate as an excuse for make up sex even though you didnt fight