Not your typical rant...sorry this is about as mean as I get

I took a break this summer from ATS to reevaluate my reason for being here. I had the same frustrations I see in this forum every day. On my break I realized something that I wanted to share.

If you post a thread and someone doesn't agree with you or debunks you in the first response. So what. You learned something. Granted, you were wrong, but you learned you were wrong. Suck it up and move on. Don't dwell on it.

ATS is full of many intelligent, forward thinking people. It is a great place to exchange information, pick apart what the main stream media is not saying, and learn. No one person here (except maybe Skeptic Overlord lol) knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. How boring would that be?

If someone disagrees with you, ask why? And, shame on them if they do not say why they disagree and provide proof to back up their theory. Maybe, if you exchanged information instead of hate you could both learn something and realize you are both partially right and work together for the answer.

The answers are why we are here. We will never get to the answers until we come together. If people constantly bicker the answer gets that much further away.

I beg of you all, the next time you make a thread or reply to one, and someone says "UMM NO"...ask WHY??? I beg of you all , the next time you say "UM NO" to explain why.

I also challenge all of you to visit the threads you know the least about. WHY? Simple. Because that is where you will learn the most.

I spent most of my first two years on the BTS topics because I was intimidated by the big dawgs. I challenged myself to make a thread of substance about something totally out of my comfort zone. I posted the info and then I asked " What are your thoughts". WHY? Because I knew something was fishy and I could not put my finger on it. I knew someone else here would and so far they are doing a great job of doing just that.

You have to be open minded. You cannot come to ATS and be closed minded. You have to be open to different points of view and perspectives. We are from all over the world. Our cultures are different.
I think people forget we are all very different.

I also challenge you all to do one more thing...The next time you get heated about something on a thread...try not to personalize it. Before you hit that reply button, step away. Step away for 5 minutes, 15 minutes, how ever long it takes, and then when you can formulate a response in a manner as not to be argumentative, reply. But, only then. I have hit reply more than once, read it, then trashed it because the tone sounded argumentative and that is not truly what I intended.

I think sometimes, we get carried away with our own egos and forget we are a society of free thinkers. That is why we are here. So accept your fellow ATS members when they do not agree with you. Do not take it personally. Ask questions, especially of those who disagree with you, for it is there that you will find the answers either by proving them right or proving them wrong, either way you will find the answer.

We must work together. We must come together. We are the few free thinkers left in this world.
We are alike in more ways than we are different. We have so much knowledge to share. LETS SHARE IT!

One more thing...please take other people's threads seriously. Do not belittle someone or make them feel crazy for something they posted. If it sounds crazy it took a lot of courage to post it in the first place. If you do not agree and cannot say something nice...do not say anything at all. If you can debunk it, do it kindly.

I do not know how it is said in other cultures but in the US I grew up with "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU". If you do not know, it means, treat others the way you want to be treated.

~Momma K

Good rant Momma K.

I feel you, but not in the biblical sense.

Well written and I agree Momma K! I have commented that condescending comments too often shut down the learning process. Naturally amongst the public, there is such diversity that it would be hard to expect too much uniformness, but I always hope there is room for improvement. I have learned that even if a comment sets me off, to refrain from a snide retort and just move along. I do hope that these type of threads may resonate with some about how they express themselves. Freedom of speech gives us just that and I would never want to tell someone how to speak, but tossing up some suggestions doesn't seem like a bad idea, in the spirt of communion and learning.

Peace

speculativeoptimist
Well written and I agree Momma K! I have commented that condescending comments too often shut down the learning process. Naturally amongst the public, there is such diversity that it would be hard to expect too much uniformness, but I always hope there is room for improvement. I have learned that even if a comment sets me off, to refrain from a snide retort and just move along. I do hope that these type of threads may resonate with some about how they express themselves. Freedom of speech gives us just that and I would never want to tell someone how to speak, but tossing up some suggestions doesn't seem like a bad idea, in the spirt of communion and learning.

Peace

Thank you! You are right, condescending comments only shut people down. I am all about freedom of speech!! Maybe, just maybe, folks on here have scared away someone who had something wonderful and enlightening and they were not given the chance to get it out and left.

That is all I am saying. Never discount a newbie. Never discount a girl. Never discount anyone.

reply to post by k21968

Best advice I have heard, thank you darlin'!

I am pretty verbose and I like to be engaged in debate but, I too have been guilty of dropping bombs and strolling off into the backup memory.

Note to self... Read my sarcastic remarks three times before I press post.

greencmp
reply to post by k21968

 

Best advice I have heard, thank you darlin'!

I am pretty verbose and I like to be engaged in debate but, I too have been guilty of dropping bombs and strolling off into the backup memory.

Note to self... Read my sarcastic remarks three times before I press post.

Awww, we all do it. But I think when that happens the true purpose of the debate gets lost and usually never re-addressed. I know in my heart, the answers to everything we post about is, RIGHT HERE. We just have to hear them. And allow others to get there.

Great rant and so true.
I learned quite a while ago that Im often wrong, only a fool would deny evidence contrary to their beliefs.

Even today, I re-learned to not take everything at face value and dig a little deeper.
We need these reality checks from time to time to keep our feet on the ground.

k21968

I also challenge you all to do one more thing...The next time you get heated about something on a thread...try not to personalize it. Before you hit that reply button, step away. Step away for 5 minutes, 15 minutes, how ever long it takes, and then when you can formulate a response in a manner as not to be argumentative, reply. But, only then. I have hit reply more than once, read it, then trashed it because the tone sounded argumentative and that is not truly what I intended.

We are alike in more ways than we are different. We have so much knowledge to share. LETS SHARE IT!

One more thing...please take other people's threads seriously. Do not belittle someone or make them feel crazy for something they posted. If it sounds crazy it took a lot of courage to post it in the first place. If you do not agree and cannot say something nice...do not say anything at all. If you can debunk it, do it kindly.

~Momma K

Hey Momma K!! Thank you very much, well written and my sentiments exactly. I especially agree with your statement about just walking away...........!!!! I have so many times, and even just recently wanted to reply with some comments to some threads.....but more and more I am just catching myself and saying 'no'.

First, am I adding anything to the conversation?
Second, am I trying to provoke an argument, maybe not intentionally, but really am I looking for a response to my off topic comment?
Third, trying to be clever, humorous, sarcastic may sound like fun, but in reality...its an ego thing....and again it goes back to #'s 1 and 2!

So, I fell a lot better, just stepping away and only participating when I have some good information or a logical question pertaining to the thread!

Nice Job!! Thank you!!

greencmp
reply to post by k21968

 

Best advice I have heard, thank you darlin'!

I am pretty verbose and I like to be engaged in debate but, I too have been guilty of dropping bombs and strolling off into the backup memory.

Note to self... Read my sarcastic remarks three times before I press post.

I totally agree. I am also guilty of this too. I guess it is just because we get passionate about the subjects we talk about. We must remember, we all want the same things....a better fairer life for us all and to get to the truth about certain topics, yet we will argue and criticize others to get our points across, thus achieving quite the opposite.

It's a good thing what you say, when we feel our emotions stirred by certain replies to our posts, take 15 minutes out to calm down and formulate respectful responses. This will hopefully generate respectful responses back.

One thing I have started to try to do is, if I see a hostile comment, even if I agree with the point the poster is trying to get across, I will quote it and add a comment stating what I have put here. I think we could all do this also. Im sure if we were all discussing these things face to face, we would be much more respectful to each other....I hope so anyway.

We are all brothers and sisters on ATS, different cultures and different life experiences. A little respect and humour goes a long way.

Well put OP. I think we could all try a little harder to show respect. It makes us better people and enhances our debating skills.

S & F OP.

I agree. I am glad to see you have returned to ATS.

Sorry, I'm not adding more, but you said it well. There is no need to add more. So bump, and thumbs up!

CdT