My Child threatened on bus today (Gun Violence)

reply to post by DestroyDestroyDestroy


I think in some ways you are right, there should be a plan in place and certain steps to ascertain whether or not this is an innocent outburst or a proposed real threat. I would sheet my pants if something were to go down and noting had been done prior to intervene on behalf of not only the innocents but the child who is so destroyed that he would chose violence as a way to solve their problems.

reply to post by antar


Thanks for the update. Listen to your gut instinct. It's usually right. I agree, I think more action needs to be taken. Keep us updated please

reply to post by antar


If I came across as judging, I didn't mean to and I'm sorry.

As someone above me has posted, I agree and think you should follow your gut-feeling. And who am I to know what that would be.

Anyhow: Focus on a positive outcome and chances are it will happen...

soulwaxer

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


From what I understood this morning in our meeting, the Board members have been discussing this issue and it is a general consensus that they do not wish to cause fear or something akin to a mad witch hunt for potential shooters either by students, faculty or parents, so if you know what I mean when I say it is a catch 22 then you will know better where it seemed the meeting ended.

For me I personally hope that it ends well and that the child does receive further counseling services by the school and outside school as well. How many shooters could have been veered into a completely different direction if only the community had come to their aid when they were most vulnerable, before they turned dangerous?

I am not saying that this is the case, i do not know enough about the child, really I knew nothing about him until just last night to say one way or the other. The principal seemed to know the parents and from their judgements of them did not seem too concerned over them being loose cannons in the community.

So my question is just in speculation, but what if this child is harboring some secrets and is mimicking what he has been told in a plea for help?

It is confounding to say the least and I have no answers only more questions after this mornings meeting.

reply to post by soulwaxer


Ok good solid advice.

Originally posted by resoe26
that lil punk isn't going to do $hit.
He is a sad little boy. He just needs a friend, and I'm sure all of this will end.

Would you risk YOUR kids life with that assumption?

reply to post by antar


In Miami one kid brought a gun onto the bus and shot a girl by accident.
An anonymous tip to the school with the kids name would be a good idea.
And I'd spend the day with your kid and keep them home from school while they sort it out.

I am so sorry for what is happening to your child and the turmoil you both must be going through. The idea that your daughter is freightened to be in school is sad. Even though you have told her it is safe, I'm sure she is still a bit scared and cautious. Honestly, I would not send my child back to school until that boy is out and in counceling. The home life of this child needs to be looked into, because even though children do say things, this is above just being mad at someone and being threatening. Also, if I remember correctly you said that there were other girls bullying him? if so, that needs to be taken care of asap with the others and they need to be talked to and suspended as well. There have been too many children killing themselves over bullying or killing the one who bullies. It is a real problem in our society. I think something is going on in this childs mind and even if he doesn't have the "resources" to carry out his threats, he is obviously "thinking about it" and that alone is a problem.

reply to post by antar


Yeah, the school won't do anything. I say, first the kids parents and if it's a dead end, the cops. Be relentless.

Originally posted by Visitor2012

Originally posted by resoe26
that lil punk isn't going to do $hit.
He is a sad little boy. He just needs a friend, and I'm sure all of this will end.

Would you risk YOUR kids life with that assumption?

By all means, tell the police and school about this. This is what the OP's child should have done in the first place. I'm sure there is some right minded kid at that school that can kick the lil $hits arse real quick. Sounds like that kid needs it.

And would risk MY childs life with that?
Hell no. But like I stated above, OP's child should tell the school.
That kid needs to be punished, not only for making threats, but for bullying.

-I tell you all a personal story:
When I was in elementary school, there was this kid in my class. He was trying to make bombs to bring to school and blow it up. He filled me in on this info (probably because I sat right next to him and I was fairly nice to everyone). What happened later that day is I told all of my friends (homeboys ). We waited till bathroom break and beat his arse in the bathroom. Smashed his head in the stall a few times.
-Of course we got caught, but we didn't get in trouble, because the bomb kid had all of his plans on paper at his desk. Not very smart huh?

reply to post by XLR8R


I was hoping that I could get the parents # to call them personally. Not sure if I can or not. The school because of privacy issues will not help me get their number. maybe the only way to talk with the childs parents will be to call a meeting at the school. I would rather call them at home first rather than wait until next week to schedule an appointment.

reply to post by resoe26


Um wow, what a story. I have to say my sons thought about the same way, said the kid just needs his arse kicked royally. My oldest now a senior had no fear of the threats and treated me as a catastrophist for even going to the school. He did 'kind' of show his support which is a big deal for me as he is is 17 and thinks I am over reacting to some punk kid with a big mouth.

Originally posted by resoe26

Originally posted by Visitor2012

Originally posted by resoe26
that lil punk isn't going to do $hit.
He is a sad little boy. He just needs a friend, and I'm sure all of this will end.

Would you risk YOUR kids life with that assumption?

By all means, tell the police and school about this. This is what the OP's child should have done in the first place. I'm sure there is some right minded kid at that school that can kick the lil $hits arse real quick. Sounds like that kid needs it.

And would risk MY childs life with that?
Hell no. But like I stated above, OP's child should tell the school.
That kid needs to be punished, not only for making threats, but for bullying.

-I tell you all a personal story:
When I was in elementary school, there was this kid in my class. He was trying to make bombs to bring to school and blow it up. He filled me in on this info (probably because I sat right next to him and I was fairly nice to everyone). What happened later that day is I told all of my friends (homeboys

). We waited till bathroom break and beat his arse in the bathroom. Smashed his head in the stall a few times.
-Of course we got caught, but we didn't get in trouble, because the bomb kid had all of his plans on paper at his desk. Not very smart huh?

edit on 1-2-2013 by resoe26 because: (no reason given)

You and your friends are the reason kids shoot up schools in the first place.

Can't believe you're proud of that relentlessly adolescent display of farcical machismo.

Originally posted by antar
reply to post by resoe26

 

Um wow, what a story. I have to say my sons thought about the same way, said the kid just needs his arse kicked royally. My oldest now a senior had no fear of the threats and treated me as a catastrophist for even going to the school. He did 'kind' of show his support which is a big deal for me as he is is 17 and thinks I am over reacting to some punk kid with a big mouth.

I think your son is right though. He is a "punk kid with a big mouth". I don't think the kid has the juevos to do what he says... but then again, you never know these days. But sounds like to me the boy needs an a$$ beating. A nice heavy dose of it too.
I'm surprised nobody has done it yet!!

a lot of advice that looks good at least on the surface. in some ways i believe it might be the WRONG advice. sure the cops might need to be brought in at some point. but it would be FAR better for ALL if maybe this was handled in other ways.

first off the question needs to be answered as to IF this is a serious threat or not. in the case it IS then the most critical thing is to find out WHY this kid made the threat and has a "kill list". the fact that he apparently has such a list is of it's self a telling thing. i see just kicking the kid out of school and or arrested etc, could actually cause MORE HARM, then good. it could end up sending the exact wrong message to this kid which could in fact CAUSE him to carry out such a threat possibly at a later date even with different targets in mind. in a lot of ways the fact he has made the threat in the first place could be a plea for help on issues that have been ignored previously most likely by the SCHOOL. if that is the case then punishment of him but not dealing with the causing issues could drive it further in his brain that "the world is out to get him". in which case he would be MORE LIKELY to act, (and if put on certain meds as per norm even MORE LIKELY to do it). i will agree that likely this kid WILL need some HELP, but possibly not dire punishment. SOMETHING needs to have DRIVEN him to this point, and ignoring the cause will not help him in the end. he would obviously have had to be wronged somehow by those he wishes dead, he may be looking for JUSTICE and killing may be the only justice he can see to possibly end his torments, especially if he feels that justice has been withheld by the "authorities", who are likely those teachers and administration of the school.

i do wonder why he said this to your daughter in particular? does he see her as someone who might help him, someone he is trying to reach out to for help?

if you know the family and are on good terms with them or know someone who is it could be brought up in a NON CONFRONTATIONAL way to this boy's parents what is going on and even try to help gently sorting it all out. if the family is religious a good person might be a pastor or church leader involved in the parent's church to help sort out what is going on, at any rate someone who can try to have a neutral outlook and who would be trusted by the parents and the boy. this would be much better than the "jack booted authority" like the police or possibly even the school staff would likely be seen and felt to be especially to a person in the position this kid seems to be in, all hash questions and accusations are going to do is make the kid defensive and might not get to what the problem is. it likely needs an gentler more understanding approach to get the kid to open up about what is wrong.

unless this is all just bluster from the kid trying to impress the girl somehow, (which really makes no sense). there IS something going on behind all of this. there IS some sort of problem that is NOT BEING EFFECTIVELY DEALT WITH. a threat like this from a child that young NEEDS to have some sort of CAUSE. it's not something that a kid would just do "on a whim" or for fun, unless of course that kid was a psychopath, yet a psychopath would probably not give a warning before hand.

who knows perhaps finding the real cause behind a rage like this kid seems to have would point out a problem that is being ignored and possibly not even noticed that could turn some other kid into a killer.

for example i know from my experience that quite a lot of "bullying" is completely ignored by school staff or even worse since "ONE" kid is always in fights that that kid is the problem when in reality it is the OTHER kids that are the problem, yet it is the kid who is being bullied is the one that gets in trouble while the actual bullies get away scott free. and when it is a constant thing i can totally understand that killing the "tormentors" may seem to be the only way to make it stop.

Originally posted by LightOrange

Originally posted by resoe26

Originally posted by Visitor2012

Originally posted by resoe26
that lil punk isn't going to do $hit.
He is a sad little boy. He just needs a friend, and I'm sure all of this will end.

Would you risk YOUR kids life with that assumption?

By all means, tell the police and school about this. This is what the OP's child should have done in the first place. I'm sure there is some right minded kid at that school that can kick the lil $hits arse real quick. Sounds like that kid needs it.

And would risk MY childs life with that?
Hell no. But like I stated above, OP's child should tell the school.
That kid needs to be punished, not only for making threats, but for bullying.

-I tell you all a personal story:
When I was in elementary school, there was this kid in my class. He was trying to make bombs to bring to school and blow it up. He filled me in on this info (probably because I sat right next to him and I was fairly nice to everyone). What happened later that day is I told all of my friends (homeboys

). We waited till bathroom break and beat his arse in the bathroom. Smashed his head in the stall a few times.
-Of course we got caught, but we didn't get in trouble, because the bomb kid had all of his plans on paper at his desk. Not very smart huh?

edit on 1-2-2013 by resoe26 because: (no reason given)

You and your friends are the reason kids shoot up schools in the first place.

Can't believe you're proud of that relentlessly adolescent display of farcical machismo.

Good lord, obviously you missed the part where I proclaimed that I was nice to everyone. ALWAYS was. But in my case, the guy stepped the boundry when talking about blowing up the school sky high. Like c'mon guy, you need some sense kicked into you.
--Never bullied anyone. As a matter of fact, got suspended in high school for beating up a guy that was making fun of a special needs student. # pisses me off.

And yeah bub, I'm proud of my Machismo.
This is the area I grew up in, you need Machismo to not get picked on.
Or.... you can always join a gang!

Originally posted by resoe26
Good lord, obviously you missed the part where I proclaimed that I was nice to everyone. ALWAYS was.

Oh... wait... here it comes.

But

"Always" can precede the word "but"? Yea, no.

in my case, the guy stepped the boundry when talking about blowing up the school sky high. Like c'mon guy, you need some sense kicked into you.

No you need someone to ask you what's wrong and offer some support... Like someone who is "nice to everyone" would do.

One of my best friends in elementary school threatened another one of my best friends with a knife before I was best friends with either of them. I assure you no #-kicking took place. I was 7 and I was more mature than that. The guy with the knife had just moved from the Philipenes and literally didn't have a single friend and he "hated everything" at the time. He actually ended up to be a really cool guy; very honest, very loyal, very friendly. You, however? Well, in your little anecdote you definitely sound like you were an egocentric little turd burglar. Not that I believe your little story at all, though, tough guy.

Originally posted by antar

I am not saying that this is the case, i do not know enough about the child, really I knew nothing about him until just last night to say one way or the other. The principal seemed to know the parents and from their judgements of them did not seem too concerned over them being loose cannons in the community.

So my question is just in speculation, but what if this child is harboring some secrets and is mimicking what he has been told in a plea for help?

It is confounding to say the least and I have no answers only more questions after this mornings meeting.

edit on 1-2-2013 by antar because: 2

Will prayerfully ponder your question and try to get back to you on it this evening. I'm going out for a while shortly.

My initial quick response and impression is:

1. He's said some very starkly violent things . . . AT LEAST he's been pondering such outrageous behavior longer than a few minutes. imho, THAT'S NOT a good sign.

2. I would expect that AT A MINIMUM, he HAS BEEN harboring some secrets from his parents.

3. I'd also bet that

(A) his father has some serious levels of ATTACHMENT DISORDER and has passed those on to the sun--whether from authoritarian harshness, verbal abuse, physical abuse, coldness, emotional distance, alcoholism or WHATEVER SUCH.

(B) Sons who have an emotionally intimate and bonded relationship with DAD--DO NOT say ANYTHING CLOSE to what that kid has said--evidently with great vigor and emotional intensity and intent.

4. I'm ALL FOR TRYING to help the boy. I'd hate to see him grow up and become more violent and end up like so many in prison.

5. To me, the FIRST priority, particularly for you, is your daughter's safety. Anyone who hassles you about that--is in out to lunch, imho.

6. Congrats for not becoming a screaming meemy psychotic basket case full of blame and absurd responses. Your character in how you've handled this so far could be a model for thousands of other mothers who'd have done far far FAR worse.

7. I'd still be wary, alert to, responsive about . . . tenaciously bull-doggy about not letting the school minimize this nor sweep it under the rug.

8. Personally, if that kid isn't in the counselor's office BEING HEARD AND CARED FOR on a weekly or more often basis for the rest of the school year, I'd throw a huge (responsible and wise) fit. If I HAD to talk to a church or service club or a cluster of friends and relatives to take up a collection for family counseling, I would.

Again--CONGRATS on your level-headeness and even-tempered handling of this. You are way head and shoulders above a long list of other parents I've known.

Blessings,

reply to post by antar


Kids know how to get attention when they want it. Unfortunately, they're not wise enough to know what kind of attention they could get for their actions. If it were me, I would be calling the kids parents. It's not the school's job to replace moms and dads, and it sure as hell isn't the job of the police to replace parenting.

reply to post by antar


Unfortunately this is what I mean by "the school won't do anything". There's is an obvious problem and they can certainly help in this case by simply giving you their number. If you know their names you can always use the online 411.