I'm paranoid, okay? And I may be losing it...

reply to post by Murgatroid

i'm not a troll. i'm genuinely concerned about the poster's health.

there may be a serious issue here.

Its frightening to see the world as it really is, and not as it is presented to you by the manipulators and controllers of the world.

You can retreat from it, or you can face it.

Either way doesn't change the fact that you are here.

Absorb everything you can, and study everything with a critical eye, even the things presented on the "conspiracy" forums.

About as much truth here as there is lies as well.


And lastly, your probably not important enough to have made any "list" just yet.

live your life as best you can.

We see you, we know your here, and we know where your going, just remember big brother is watching you! Chill out dude, n stop doing lines with Falco in the toilet! Cant do anything about them watching im afraid, just smile your on NWO vision!

If you are finding others aren't affected the way you are, perhaps that's a sign you have overestimated these fears.

My suggestion would be to take a break on reading about the things you are fearful of. Choose other topics. Stop torturing yourself.

The average person you see at the grocery store doesn't know, doesn't care. It's not their passion, and they could very well be passionate about concerns with this world you don't care about.

It's not your job to carry the burdens of the world on your shoulders. It really isn't going to noticeably effect you anyways and you could do yourself a favor knowing less, it seems.

Originally posted by aaaiii
reply to post by Murgatroid

 

i'm not a troll. i'm genuinely concerned about the poster's health.

there may be a serious issue here.

Please accept my sincere apology for over reacting, I misunderstood. What you are referring to as "professionals" are the LAST thing the OP needs. I AM speaking from experience and lost a marriage and everything else due to these "professionals".

reply to post by aaaiii


Dude, OP is trolling. Subtle and sweet. ATS is being gently trolled to sleep.

There is a pretty simple answer... you just need to understand that what ever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of how much or how little you worry.

Worrying over something that can't be helped is like trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. Sometimes you are ahead. Sometimes you are behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself. (Nod to Bahz Lurhrmann)

You have to reign in your perspective. It is hard to do at first, but it can be done. The sky will either fall or it won't. You worrying that it will, is not enough to keep it above us instead of on us. You can do it!

Here's an old poem (credit Max Ehrmann) that has always helped center me. It's grounding.


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

reply to post by ovumcranium


WOW! At 5:19 I had sent the OP a private message (personal stuff) but had ended with that same poem as a suggestion as it has always helped me. Now, in less than an hour, YOU suggested it too! Great minds and all that

"Desiderata" should be a the ATS slogan instead of something as ambiguous and unclear as "Deny Ignorance" which I can interpret in at least three completely different ways ... none of which are good.

Taking a break from conspiracy theory is the cure for our OP's temporary unbalance ... and it is temporary. I've been there and I'm sure others here have too.

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
What can I do about this???

The REAL question is: What can GOD do about this?

The answer lies in His word and His presence in YOUR life...

Turn this video into a prayer from your heart:

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
Listen up peeps, people tell me all the time that I'm TOO paranoid.
.....
I won't take medication. Been there, done that. Doesn't work.

Same with therapists. Doesn't work.

And to the elite, if you disinformation agents are reading this, you don't scare me, and you won't take me alive. Good luck trying, because you're failing!

And to the rest of ATS, I need your opinions, badly. This is consuming my life. I'm withdrawing, becoming void of emotion, and numb to everything, simply to preserve myself from the world and it's constant tricks and lies.

What can I do about this???

Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer to it.
You may not like medication and therapists and think they don't work, but they do work. You are opposed to going to them, but you need to go.
I've watched your posts, your threads and your replies. You really do need to take this to a professional and find a "middle ground".
You aren't "crazy" and that's not what the therapists and medication are for. You have some issues that need to be addressed and they'll help you do that, then you can have a better life experience.
They really aren't there to set you up, they're not out to get you, they are there to help and you need to take advantage of that.

There is a Pathways in your area (because there is a Pathways in every area). They will provide free help to you and help you learn to deal with whatever is overwhelming you. YOU have to make the first step and go to them for help.

With that being said, if you don't go to get help, it's not going to be long before the help is forced upon you. You are visably a danger to yourself and others and you need to allow them to help you before someone gets hurt.

this part is the root of your problem:

Then, I met my fiance, who knows every conspiracy known to man. As I learned from him, I began to question everything. I grew much more perceptive, much more angry, and much more depressed. I had learned that things were the very opposite of how they appeared. That our lives had no value to the powers, that our minds were deemed unworthy of real knowledge, that we, the people of this great, supposedly free country, are referred to by the elite as "useless eaters" simply because we are not slaves to them.

This fiance of yours is the one who is manipulating and controlling you, not the rest of the world around you. He is doing a lot of harm to you. If he is still in the picture, you need to be away from him or you will never find happiness again.

Conspiracy theories are just that, THEORIES. They may have some truth to them, but they aren't the truth, they are ideas dreamed up by people based on things they see. They aren't treated in a scientific manner and have no proof. People dig and dig for years, even decades and in some cases centuries and still don't find "the answer" because there isn't an answer, it is nothing more than an imagination they made up.

Something that may help you...
Regardless of what you do and where you go, someone, somewhere is going to be controlling you. Whether that someone is the NWO, your family, your fiance, God, aliens, whatever, you will be controlled in some form or fashion. It's the way life works.

The choice YOU have to make is whether you want to make your experience an enjoyable one or a miserable one. Your fiance has clearly chosen miserable, but you don't have to. You've already mentioned your belief in God, then let God be the one that controls you and put it out of your mind and live your life. Since you believe in God, God is all powerful and all knowing. There is nothing that any other person or group of people can possibly do that would overpower God. Give it all up to him, ask for his direction in your life, then .... let it be. He's got this, you don't have to be on edge, you don't have to be paranoid, you don't have to wonder who is doing what, God has it, it's in his hands and he will take care of it.

Go ahead and go on to college, go be with your family members, reconnect with old friends and put all this paranoid stuff behind you starting with the fiance. You are not living your life because of the paranoia and that's exactly what he wants. It took some time, but he put enough into your head to get you to let down your defenses and give him complete control over you. He keeps you paranoid and questioning so you can't make decisions on your own, you have to depend on him. You have given up your life for him to control. YOU are the one that can stop this and you need to stop it.

It didn't happen quickly and it can't be fixed quickly, but the sooner you start, the sooner you recover.

1. Get him out of your life, break up, don't answer his calls. He is damaging you.
2. Reconnect with friends. You need reminders of what life really is to get out of the mindset he has put you in.
3. Get more involved with your church (unless he's also there, then pick a new church). Being around others who will treat you positively and compassionately will help you a lot. Not all churches do, so pick one that is welcoming and caring. They are not "out to get you", they are decent people who are in the same boat as everyone else.
4. Locate the Pathways for your area and schedule an appointment with a counselor. You don't want to, but you need to.

There has been a lot of damage done to you and it will take time to overcome that. Don't be afraid to reach out and get help with this. You are only 19 years old, you are still a "child" and you shouldn't have to suffer this way over some jack**s teenage boy messing with your head. Of course, chances are, the fiance is at least 26, possibly up to 40. That's the profile that does this to young girls. He has control issues and is using all the other issues he has to control you.

I'm not trying to be mean to you in any way, shape or form. I am not mocking you at all and I'm definitely not "out to get you". I'm absolutely serious and trying to help you.
Get out of that relationship, get to a counselor and get yourself well. The way you are thinking is not "normal" nor is it safe or healthy. Please, do yourself a favor and get the help, it's the only way to "get better".

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

And the thing that gets me is, I can explain it to my friends, my sister, my mother, everyone... and they even agree with me and speculate with me. However, I don't see any of them acting like it affects them at all during their usual life.

I have a friend who is the same way - he gets emotional talking about conspiracies.
The thing is though, why get immediately upset over something WAY out of your control?

Now, you can speculate all day as to how to change the system, but the system is really a reflection of human nature. There is enough to go around, but sharing seems to be an issue still (although our leaders know better).. it's like a planet of 3rd graders.

Just do the best you can for yourself, and spread the truth.
That's about all we can do right now - not enough people are awake yet.

Just my. $0.02

The only thing reading the OP made me think,,,,, is that TPTB are a step ahead of everyone....... they dont care about conspiracies or... anything....... they have the finest clothes and eat the finest meals and do their work and have their families and love life,,,,, while you, an 18 year old girl born onto this world are paranoid and worrying about every little thing,,,,, you being in that state does nothing positive for you or anyone else,,,,, id say try and take things more lightly,,,, the worst that can happen is the worst things that can happen,,,, you have control over yourself, what you do with your time.,.,,. dont live that time in fear or paranoia,,,,

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


I'll give you a hint. You aren't important enough to be monitored, just like 99.9999% of the people. There is no unified global elite, though there are global elitists. They fight like cats in a sack with each other too to get what they want.

It's easy to believe in grand conspiracies because its a comforting excuse for people's lack of success but most are enormously exaggerated from a small kernel of truth. Life can suck not because anybody planned it that way but just how stuff turns out.

live your life.

reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX


When all the missing pieces fit together; there is no longer a puzzle to solve, but a portrait remains.
Don't let the fear of knowing things puzzle you. Trust your gut.

If such a puzzle had been solved by you, then you pretty much know what to expect?
Yes, you're going to be OK. You haven't seen all of the pieces yet.

What led you to solve the puzzle, and why?
Do you like helping others?

I expect to be wrong

Using keywords in your own speech kinda lends an inclination as to what you're getting at. Wind the music player, and help people.

There's a good majority of people on our planet I'm ashamed to admit remind me way too much as this; they wait for the music/mechanism to pull their heads from whatever consumes them...

Get educated so you can make your own decisions.... Definitely get your pscyh degree if that's important for you. In other words; sit down and prioritize where you want to go/be in your life so you have a road map. Let the rest take care of itself, and it will. At least you'll be able to stop chasing shadows and confidently do what needs to be done to satisfy your life's interests. Otherwise, you will always follow the next conspiracy theory and be chasing your tail to no end. It won't be easy! Do yourself a favor and give yourself some room to be silent within yourself so you can sort this stuff out before you make another move. I wish someone would have given me this advice when I was at your age, believe me. Good luck!@

reply to post by Luxnor


The cop constantly hanging around is a little concerning. You may be hot, or live in an unruly apartment complex or something.... just sayin'

reply to post by PurpleChiten


I'm speaking from experience when I say medication and therapists don't o anything for me.

I have never, and would never, hurt anyone around me. I'm not a danger to anyone, except my own mind.

My fiance is happier than anyone else I know, because he likes the activism of opposing TPTB, just like I do... only he isn't afraid of it.

I'm not gonna break up with him over something like this, I just need to see things from a different perspective, and I figured that people on ATS would have some idea on how to do so.


To everyone, thanks for your replies, they're actually helping. God bless

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

And to the elite, if you disinformation agents are reading this, you don't scare me, and you won't take me alive. Good luck trying, because you're failing!

They don't have to doing anything to those like you, because you're already doing it to yourself..

What man, "elite" or "demon" could ever reach into the core of you and hurt you more than the paranoia you're putting yourself through right now? You've been with you since the beginning of time.... learn to trust that; trust yourself and the world around you, and all will be well..

Paranoia can rob you of a beautiful life... be strong, and DON'T allow it to overtake you..