Listen up peeps, people tell me all the time that I'm TOO paranoid.
I don't trust textbooks, because I don't know who wrote them. I don't trust websites, because I don't know who's monitoring them (Which is why I use
an alias for everything, including facebook, and especially ATS).
Usually, when people tell me this, I tell them "No, YOU just don't think and open your eyes enough." Then I get into how the global elite have their
tentacles intertwined with every--and I mean EVERY--thing in every day life. How easily we can be controlled, manipulated, brainwashed, used, hurt,
And the thing that gets me is, I can explain it to my friends, my sister, my mother, everyone... and they even agree with me and speculate with me.
However, I don't see any of them acting like it affects them at all during their usual life. It seems like, once they're done talking to me, they
don't give it a second thought. They forget all about it, then go to make their college plans, go to clubs, have fun, and ect. I seem to be the only
one who is looking at everything as a potential threat.
I walk to the store, and I look around, see other people, and think... My God, they have no idea. They're buying that GMO food. Look at their baby...
that baby is never gonna have a chance in hell... Then, I look at the banks on the way home, and I wonder just how involved that particular bank is
with the funding of the military, government, wars, and the goal of the elite, to combine all banks into one super elite bank that runs all the money
in the world. The one world bank, of the one world government.
I watch the cars drive by on my way home, thinking... These people are drones. Driving the same route every day, preforming the same routine every
day, and most of them don't like their job. They work for a pointless establishment, and the government takes chunks out of their pay. How can they be
driving around in circles every day without realizing that there is more to life? Does no one else realize they're being dooped, and that what they
see before them is a designed facade? Does no one else see, or feel, that life is undermined and short lived? Why can't they see it?
I can't have a conversation with anyone purely. I can't let my guard down to empathize with them, even for a few seconds, because I am convinced that
anyone around me is trying to get inside my head. Reverse psychology is a simple form of mental manipulation, which many ordinary people are capable
of. You never know when someone, even the closest person to you in the world, is speaking key words to trigger a desired reaction. People will do
anything if something they want is at stake.
I planned to go to college to learn some psychology, and perhaps get some medical training... but God knows who's teaching it to me. God knows what
they're teaching me, and why they want it in my head. I feel as though, if your information isn't self-learned, it is indoctrinated.
Four years ago, when I was fourteen, I was the opposite. I had all the care in the world. I loved to help people, I loved to play, laugh, and joke,
like nothing was ever wrong... and I was one of the brainwashed youths of America, believed everything on the news, even got all teary eyed when Obama
was elected. Not because I cared that we had a black president, but because everyone else seemed to care, and everyone on tv was getting teary eyed,
so I assumed that was the right thing to do... and I cared about the election out of overwhelming, ignorant peer pressure.
Then, I met my fiance, who knows every conspiracy known to man. As I learned from him, I began to question everything. I grew much more perceptive,
much more angry, and much more depressed. I had learned that things were the very opposite of how they appeared. That our lives had no value to the
powers, that our minds were deemed unworthy of real knowledge, that we, the people of this great, supposedly free country, are referred to by the
elite as "useless eaters" simply because we are not slaves to them.
Knowing these things made my world crash around me. And I would never get my happy mindset back. Ever.
Over the past four years, I began to listen to Alex Jones, made a website, and even managed to form a small club of other teens like myself who know,
or are learning, the dark truths, along with other questionable conspiracies. The club and the website were both called "Asylum." It was liberating
for a while, but over the past four years, as I studied up more and more on the global elite, Freemasons, Illuminati, ect, I grew more and more
But, now, it's gotten to the point where I've halted at a stand-still. I can't go to college, I'm afraid of the potential brainwashing they could do,
that they could damage me with. When I walk to the store, I see a cop car behind me, and always assume it's following me. A cop car parked outside of
my apartment while I was doing dishes, and sat there, facing my kitchen window, for half an hour. Just sat there. Sometimes, I'm afraid to leave my
home, because everything is watched on camera, or by drones. Cloaked drones, ones you can't see in the sky. I'll get so scared about the food being
poisoned, I'll stop eating for hours, or even a couple of days. And, if I feel like I'm stuck in a day-to-day routine, I will get up and go do
Something out of the ordinary, just to prove I'm not under anyone's indoctrination and control. Could be anything, from freezing peanut butter, to
holding my arm under scalding hot water, just to endure the pain. No one could plan or expect for me to do things like that. I've always gotta throw
everyone off. I. Am. Losing. It.
And, for those of you who suggested that I was unfit to teach my little sister about conspiracies (or be any kind of role model for her whatsoever) on
a separate thread, don't worry. I don't live with her anymore, I only get to see her every other weekend. While I endure this phase of terrified
paranoia (I hope it's a phase), she isn't really affected by it. So, don't go and start saying "See? Told you you shouldn't be brainwashing your
sister with the same paranoia you have!" Because I'm well aware of how mentally damaging these things are, and the last thing I want is for her to
experience the same. In fact, we haven't talked about conspirator subjects in a good little while. I've been too busy taking my bro and sis to swim
when I visit them to speculate conspiracies with them lately.
But even when I don't speak it, it's the only thing I can ever think about. I can't make any decision anymore, even the smallest ones, without
thinking That's what they want me to do.
I'm also a manga artist (for those who don't know, manga is Japanese comics), and lately, I only draw my own books, I don't read any published mangas
anymore, because I fear they contain some kind of brainwash. Something they WANT me to read or see.
I won't take medication. Been there, done that. Doesn't work.
Same with therapists. Doesn't work.
And to the elite, if you disinformation agents are reading this, you don't scare me, and you won't take me alive. Good luck trying, because you're
And to the rest of ATS, I need your opinions, badly. This is consuming my life. I'm withdrawing, becoming void of emotion, and numb to everything,
simply to preserve myself from the world and it's constant tricks and lies.
What can I do about this???
edit on 16-6-2012 by XxNightAngelusxX because: Typos