Why does rudeness upset us so much ?

Originally posted by jheated5
Well I just went to the casino today and I was standing in one of the aisles watching someone before I left, some old man comes from behind me and walks right into me and says you know this is a walkway right? I said yeah and I'm sorry, he had some snide remark then I said I'm sorry louder in case he didn't hear me..... Then he says I don't f***ing care if you're sorry! Since he had an attitude about him I said ya know what F you!!!!! Then he says he's going to get a hammer and bash me in the head with it when he comes back, talk about being rude lol...

jheated5
Yikes..Some people are just like that nothing you say is going to make them happy period..
Around here the casino's are full of older people that think they own the place ..I was at one a few years ago and went to sit down to play a slot no one was sitting there then this lady says go elsewhere those 5 slots are saved im playing them ..I said to her you cant save slots there open to anyone if your not sitting there and she looks at me and says F you,,
I decided it wasnt worth my energy to argue with her she had to be at least 70 years old if not older..I just smiled moved on and found another slot and won 50.00 so it all worked out in the end..peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


It's crazy I was always told to respect the elderly and that's what I always do, then I run into people like that and remember respect has to be earned not given.... Sorry you shared a similar expierence with these old grumps....

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

Going through a nasty divorce with kids taught me a great deal. I realized I could sink to a level where my ex and I hated each other openly and that would be bad for my kids. The only sensible thing was to let those emotions go and never speak badly to either of my sons about their mother (they still needed to get along with her). No point in putting children in the middle of an adult disagreement either.
Becoming sick and disabled was the other event that helped me to grow. There was no one to blame, it's just one of those things that "happens" to you - and you must decide if you're going to quit and be mad at the world or if you are going to get all the happiness you can from what you have. I could make a long list of things I used to love to do that can't do anymore but what use is there in that? I do the things I can and am content with that.

Life will pull you down if you let it - employers screwing your over, the government doing the same, neighbors driving you half mad - at a certain point you realize that you have the power to control how you react to these things. This allows you the coolness of mind to envision the most productive response that you can employ in your favor.
It is sometimes the only way to stay sane.
Does wonders for your blood pressure too.

Asktheanimals
I just went through a divorce myself but there was no kids involved ..I went through such a range of emotions from anger to conflict i had a hard time keeping my emotions under control..

Then i decided this was doing nothing but causeing me stress ..I told him i apologize that things didn't work out and left it at that..I knew i had to have clarity of mind when dealing with my ex ,,In your case with children i have alot of respect for you keeping the the kids out of it..

If you talk to the kids about all the bad stuff that the other parent is doing you give the children a lot of baggage to carry around. . . They are already struggling enough. I think all you should tell your children is how much you love them.

Being sick and disabled or any disability for that matter,no one should lose hope..Any disability you have now or may develop in the future, only you can determine whether or not you will let it handicap you..

We maybe limited in a number of ways, but there are many things you can do despite these limitations. Work with your uniqueness, your abilities and talents, use them to the fullest..

Be determined and reach for your highest goals in life: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Appreciate what you do have. Enjoy people and things to the fullest...

Live one day at a time. It's all any of us really have. Do what you can to make the most of your situation, and then relax, and let it be thats how i look at it and it seems to work..

"There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them"

peace,sugarcookie1





This was sent to me a few years back and i love what it says and its so true..

Some say I am disabled, but you know that isn't true
I simply have a challenge a little different from you.

My slight inconvenience has taught me things they could not know
Each obstacle is a victory, enabling me to grow.

I'm not really any different, I cry, I laugh, I snore
I don't want to be treated as if I'm not a person anymore.

Out of good intentions, people are afraid to let me try
But sometimes I have to fall, and sometimes I need to cry.

God gives me strength and dignity, and the courage to be all I can be
For He doesn't see me as disabled, He just sees me as me.

-unknown

Originally posted by sugarcookie1

Be determined and reach for your highest goals in life: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Appreciate what you do have. Enjoy people and things to the fullest...

Live one day at a time. It's all any of us really have. Do what you can to make the most of your situation, and then relax, and let it be thats how i look at it and it seems to work..

This was sent to me a few years back and i love what it says and its so true..

Some say I am disabled, but you know that isn't true
I simply have a challenge a little different from you.

My slight inconvenience has taught me things they could not know
Each obstacle is a victory, enabling me to grow.

I'm not really any different, I cry, I laugh, I snore
I don't want to be treated as if I'm not a person anymore.

Out of good intentions, people are afraid to let me try
But sometimes I have to fall, and sometimes I need to cry.

God gives me strength and dignity, and the courage to be all I can be
For He doesn't see me as disabled, He just sees me as me.

-unknown

Great advice and I love the poem - it describes my situation to a "T".
What surprised me most was the friends who couldn't deal with my handicap for whatever reason.
People who had been my friend 30 years suddenly treated me strangely - that was the hardest.
The only thing I can figure is it makes them uncomfortable somehow so they would rather avoid me than deal with my reality. On the other hand you discover who your real friends were all along.

Thanks for the inspiring poem - I need to print that out to read every morning when I get up.

reply to post by sugarcookie1


I agree with you in part, but you have to examine the bigger picture a little more closely. If people had more respect for each other and treated everyone kindly, there would be no need to keep anger in check because there wouldn't be any. Do you notice how many incidents of road rage there are these days? How many people blow a gasket in public? There is an epidemic of disrespect in society that needs to be addressed, and you can't just blame the person getting upset for being disrespected for not tolerating it. By the way, being "upset" and being "angry" are two different things in my view.

While I see your point, I am going to stand by mine. I feel there is a huge lack of respect for fellow humans these days, and it is reflected in many ways - the way people drive, the way they are all about themselves and have zero common courtesy on the roadways. Tell me you haven't noticed it. Another one that annoys me is the fact that no one has the common courtesy to return their shopping carts at ANY store nowadays. They just leave it in the space like they are above walking the 12 feet and getting it out of other people's way. I am one of those people who says something to those idiots. No one else does, so I feel like I have to.

reply to post by Asktheanimals

Asktheanimals
I've been ill since birth so i never lost any friends ..But that would hurt..Like you said you discover who your real friends were all along...

I've often thought how these people would be able to survive if faced with dealing with what we do each day..

People who haven't been through it don't understand it..Sometimes I think in order to learn compassion, you first have to have experience suffering...

I think sometimes it's good to educate people about the disease or handicap, but often times it doesn't matter since they still will have their own biases and, perhaps fears, of what this disease or handicap is all about.

My problem is i made friends with people from my childhood and they all had the same disease so now there all with the angels and IM here alone struggling to make new friends as a single person
I'm waiting. I want the right people to come in my life, where a friendship is easy. Where it is a two way street not a sign that says one way..I admit im lonely but trying very hard to make new friends its a brave new world out there for us

I'm glad you liked the poem its a great one ive read it many times and it always brings a smile to my face...peace and a hug..sugarcookie1

Originally posted by AwakeinNM
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

I agree with you in part, but you have to examine the bigger picture a little more closely. If people had more respect for each other and treated everyone kindly, there would be no need to keep anger in check because there wouldn't be any. Do you notice how many incidents of road rage there are these days? How many people blow a gasket in public? There is an epidemic of disrespect in society that needs to be addressed, and you can't just blame the person getting upset for being disrespected for not tolerating it. By the way, being "upset" and being "angry" are two different things in my view.

While I see your point, I am going to stand by mine. I feel there is a huge lack of respect for fellow humans these days, and it is reflected in many ways - the way people drive, the way they are all about themselves and have zero common courtesy on the roadways. Tell me you haven't noticed it. Another one that annoys me is the fact that no one has the common courtesy to return their shopping carts at ANY store nowadays. They just leave it in the space like they are above walking the 12 feet and getting it out of other people's way. I am one of those people who says something to those idiots. No one else does, so I feel like I have to.

AwakeinNM

I am going to stand by mine common courtesy on the roadways. Tell me you haven't noticed it I haven't noticed it i live in a small Swedish community so no i haven't seen it.
.
And i m not going to waste my energy getting mad over a cart i just get out and move it..I might not be happy i have to do this but hey i do it like IM sure Hundreds of others do..

So if you feel the need to tell them about it thats your choice Its just not my idea of things to do..thanks for posting.sugarcookie1

reply to post by sugarcookie1


Ah, you are not here in the U.S. Then you are coming from a different experience altogether. I am sure things are more pleasant there. When you are at a WalMart here, notice that shopping carts litter the parking lot, including the spaces and walkways, and create a hindrance to parking your vehicle and walking into the store. Many times you have to get out and move a cart just to park your car. It is ridiculous. These fatasses can push that cart all around the 100,000 square foot store, filling it with cokes and potato chips and donuts, but suddenly they are too lazy to walk their cart to the cart return. It is laziness and total lack of consideration for others, plain and simple. It is epidemic here.

I've encountered many people who will park their car in the fire lane right by the door, flip on their hazard lights, and do their regular shopping. Do these people think they are somehow more privileged than everyone else that they can disregard all agreed-upon conventions and do whatever the hell they want?? Apparently so. What if everyone did that? Pretty soon they will, if people aren't held accountable for their actions. I've also noticed that a lot of of the offenders which I speak of are Native Americans. I guess maybe they feel they are immune to white man laws when they are off the reservation as well.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM
reply to post by sugarcookie1

 

Ah, you are not here in the U.S. Then you are coming from a different experience altogether. I am sure things are more pleasant there. When you are at a WalMart here, notice that shopping carts litter the parking lot, including the spaces and walkways, and create a hindrance to parking your vehicle and walking into the store. Many times you have to get out and move a cart just to park your car. It is ridiculous. These fatasses can push that cart all around the 100,000 square foot store, filling it with cokes and potato chips and donuts, but suddenly they are too lazy to walk their cart to the cart return. It is laziness and total lack of consideration for others, plain and simple. It is epidemic here.

I've encountered many people who will park their car in the fire lane right by the door, flip on their hazard lights, and do their regular shopping. Do these people think they are somehow more privileged than everyone else that they can disregard all agreed-upon conventions and do whatever the hell they want?? Apparently so. What if everyone did that? Pretty soon they will, if people aren't held accountable for their actions. I've also noticed that a lot of of the offenders which I speak of are Native Americans. I guess maybe they feel they are immune to white man laws when they are off the reservation as well.

edit on 26-4-2012 by AwakeinNM because: (no reason given)

edit on 26-4-2012 by AwakeinNM because: (no reason given)

AwakeinNM
I guess i didn't make what i wrote clear..I'm in the US infact Minnesota but i live in a very small Swedish community and i don't venture to far from were i live..

I have been to Walmart several times but i guess the cart boys keep up with things better here ive never ran into the cart problem your talking about but im sure it is annoying..

I've notice most of the cart returns are in every parking isle and more then one so i agree that is lazy..

People that park in the fire lane right by the door ive never seen that before but id report that to the store that shouldn't be going on at all..If there was a fire and people trying to get out with a car there would be bad news and possibly cost people there lives..Please report that..

I wont talk about the Native Americans because i just don't see many around here most of them live near the casinos and shop in the town near them ..But i do have several lovely Native Americans friends that i just adore that come to see me often ..

Sounds like your in a town that id move away from..peace,sugarcookie1

Originally posted by sugarcookie1

Sounds like your in a town that id move away from..peace,sugarcookie1

Believe me, I'm tryin'. I hate it here.