Parenting 101: how to instill respect for others.

reply to post by TheRedneck



i disagree.


tough love meets tough resistance.


tough love used to be a learning experience, but all she learned was to hate him even more.

her post was rude but that's how she felt. she felt horrible, and he just makes it worse.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


i don't believe you.

no way your daughter agrees with that.

if she hit her head a while back i apologize

and im not trying to be rude, im serious, and i apologize.

peace.

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska
reply to post by FissionSurplus

 

i don't believe you.

no way your daughter agrees with that.

if she hit her head a while back i apologize

and im not trying to be rude, im serious, and i apologize.

peace.

You obviously haven't read much of FissionSurplus' postings. I've never known her to tell a fib....ever...

You might as well apologize to her now....

Des

reply to post by TheRedneck


You are wrong, shooting a gun like that in ANGER sent a silent covert message of "your next if you don't shape up".

Do some research TheRedneck. I sincerely plead with any parent who believes doing this to their child as good parenting to do some research on psychological abuse as this perfectly fits the definition of covert emotional abuse.

Harm None (and this child has been psychologically harmed through this parents actions)
Peace

reply to post by Destinyone


im slightly new here.


but i did emphasis that i apologized for real without sarcasm, my mind is just blown.

i am very angry in disagreement with that fathers methods so please forgive me for being so expressive about it.

reply to post by amazed



no doubt in my mind this crazy ****** has brain scarred her for life.



he has absolutely destroyed her life and her reputation for the rest of her existence here on earth as a human being.

because of her she probably has to wear a mask everywhere and cry to sleep every night.

this dude is SATAN.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Children need discipline to learn respect. While part of me applauded the father's actions, I would not condone what he did. He used a gun, in anger, and then posted his tantrum online.

If his daughter has dealt with this her whole life, maybe her feelings have merit. She handled the situation poorly, but she's a teenager. By definition, teenagers are constantly making mistakes, testing authority, etc.

However, the father is an adult and should be better able to deal with his anger. What he did isn't going to make her more respectful but more resentful.

yeh but he's also saying( by his actions) as soon as someone disrespects you, you should completely throw all respect you had for them and become a wild man. It's sad to see so many people give this man prompts. There two types of crappy parents and he's one of them. Try to see things from his daughter's perspective? no, just cry and shoot stuff. good parenting everyone. teach his daughter that saying hurtful things is wrong? no, just say more hurtful things back. Teaching his daughter that if you have something to hold over someone's head then it's okay to voice your anger. Really, the peopling saying he's a good parent are probably the same people always complaining about their children. so if you have crap kids you're in no position to say whats good parenting or not.

reply to post by amazed

Oh and if you are a parent who does things like this with your child, I also hope child protective services show up at YOUR door as well.

They did once: I stood there and explained that the second anyone laid a hand on a child of mine they would lose their right to leave this mountain forever. I said that with no anger in my face and no concern over what choice they made. If it cost me my life to defend my children, so be it.

They left, and they haven't been back. I have been told they refuse to come back. I don't know for sure; all I know is, I meant every word of it.

That is love, when you stand ready to die in defense of your family.

While I never shot a computer, I have raised my children in the same philosophy I heard in this man's words as he explained his actions to come. It has really been a disaster, too:

• My daughter graduated college suma cum laude with an AS in Physchology at age 19. She is now happily married.
  
  
• My son last year placed 5th in the nation in his chosen field during a national competition. He was 1st in the state. This is a technical industry that pays $40K to start and can top out well into 6 figures. He also won a state scholarship to college. He is rebuilding the engine in his own truck; he can plumb, wire (to code), build, repair anything that needs repairing, and helps me around the place building, maintaining, and upgrading buildings and machinery. I can leave him at home without concern; there will be no parties or trouble.

Oh, the unGodly horror I unleashed on these children! Oh, the sheer humiliation of knowing they can do anything they want, become anything they want, have anything they want in life!

Oh, the sarcasm that dripped from my keyboard as I typed those lines....

You're wrong, my friend.

TheRedneck

reply to post by TheRedneck


school is hard for kids, and then they send her home with 5 hours of homework.

she probably couldn't even catch a single break since the day she was born, constantly doing mind numbing busy work from school and fetching him coffee every 2 seconds, its enough to drive someone up the wall and reach escape velocity.


people need to get rid of their mentality of respect and demanding it and these crazy ways of raising children, they create monsters this way.

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska
reply to post by TheRedneck

 

school is hard for kids, and then they send her home with 5 hours of homework.

she probably couldn't even catch a single break since the day she was born, constantly doing mind numbing busy work from school and fetching him coffee every 2 seconds, its enough to drive someone up the wall and reach escape velocity.


people need to get rid of their mentality of respect and demanding it and these crazy ways of raising children, they create monsters this way.

all that's really besides the point. the kid was venting some anger. and thats completely unacceptable to her dad and loads of people on the web. Children should bundle up all their pain and hold it in until they have children of their own to vent it out on. /sarcasm

Anger Management 101 - sign this guy up.

You said,

What I saw was an implied show of force

That's what we saw - as I said -

implying

You said

It's called 'tough love', and it worked well for centuries. Of course, the alternative is as you described; it has worked badly for a few decades.

The ONLY "alternative I suggested was a POSITIVE alternative - donating the laptop to a needy family. There are many other alternatives as well; but, that's the route I would have chosen.

As for the child venting on Facebook - well, it's obvious she couldn't talk to her parents. If they close the line of communication; then, this is what happens. Children need to be able to talk to their parents calmly and not be intimidated by a pistol-waving Dad.

The reality is that a lot of parents are to soft on their kids if their kids are the type that need to learn some manners.
There are also a lot of "cool" parents who let their kids do whatever they want and don't pay that much attention.
Mix the two and you get a child who by 18 is totally out of control and destined to walk a very hard road, if they make it that far.

This parent was neither, and his daughter will grow up with a better understanding about boundaries and the HARD lesson of who you can and cannot cross and what and when. Shocking? Yes, drastic? yes, Harmful? Not at all. The world is a rough place kids, be glad people like this still exist to teach children that there are boundaries. I bet this girl won't be slamming beer at a kegger any time in the near future!

Good job dad, from one dad to another, you get a

Sorry, I just don't see justification for a father throwing a temper tantrum. It's no wonder his daughter ended up so disrespectful in the first place. He had many other options to teach her a valuable lesson with and he failed and went with his knee jerk reaction and then chose to humiliate her by making a video. Teenagers are very delicate emotionally and yes typically they are brats. This doesn't mean parents should shrug off disrespect, far from it...but there are much better ways to handle it.

If this were me and I actually deal with this often as I have a 12 year old boy who is diagnosed ADHD with Oppositional/Defiance Disorder. He has a laptop that he hasn't been allowed to touch in about 3 months because he refuses to respect my rules regarding the internet. He's earned back use of my PC where I can monitor him easily. So aside from any homework he needed the computer for he wasn't allowed on for over 2 months. Every times he asks I have my chance again to remind him he didn't follow the rules so he lost out. We actually converse about it, I don't yell and scream and have a fit about him disrespecting me. He sees that it hurts and bothers me but he also sees I stay calm and don't do anything radical.

If this is the pattern this father has, he's harming his daughter...not raising her. Respect should never be confused with fear. Fear builds resentment and will affect their life-long relationship and her rebellion will only increase toward dangerous things for herself as she will seek the nurture she isn't receiving in very unhealthy ways.

Originally posted by darkblade71
The reality is that a lot of parents are to soft on their kids if their kids are the type that need to learn some manners.
There are also a lot of "cool" parents who let their kids do whatever they want and don't pay that much attention.
Mix the two and you get a child who by 18 is totally out of control and destined to walk a very hard road, if they make it that far.

This parent was neither, and his daughter will grow up with a better understanding about boundaries and the HARD lesson of who you can and cannot cross and what and when. Shocking? Yes, drastic? yes, Harmful? Not at all. The world is a rough place kids, be glad people like this still exist to teach children that there are boundaries. I bet this girl won't be slamming beer at a kegger any time in the near future!

Good job dad, from one dad to another, you get a

^ butthurt individual with dad that was harsh on him, trying to convince other parents to do the same to their kids to pass on the hatred and bad energy.



please stop passing on the hate, this is a vicious and never ending cycle

Originally posted by darkblade71
The reality is that a lot of parents are to soft on their kids if their kids are the type that need to learn some manners.
There are also a lot of "cool" parents who let their kids do whatever they want and don't pay that much attention.
Mix the two and you get a child who by 18 is totally out of control and destined to walk a very hard road, if they make it that far.

This parent was neither, and his daughter will grow up with a better understanding about boundaries and the HARD lesson of who you can and cannot cross and what and when. Shocking? Yes, drastic? yes, Harmful? Not at all. The world is a rough place kids, be glad people like this still exist to teach children that there are boundaries. I bet this girl won't be slamming beer at a kegger any time in the near future!

Good job dad, from one dad to another, you get a

it's this type of thinking that keeps the world in stagnation. A cave man would say my grandpa had it too easy. Everything is relative. I wish people would just stop thinking, that way there would be no logics that only make sense in the most constrained perspectives The dad is just like his daughter. Crying to the public when he gets mad. Monkey see monkey do

Originally posted by SoymilkAlaska
reply to post by TheRedneck

 

school is hard for kids, and then they send her home with 5 hours of homework.

she probably couldn't even catch a single break since the day she was born, constantly doing mind numbing busy work from school and fetching him coffee every 2 seconds, its enough to drive someone up the wall and reach escape velocity.


people need to get rid of their mentality of respect and demanding it and these crazy ways of raising children, they create monsters this way.

I forgot to ask.... do you have any children?

reply to post by biggmoneyme


i agree with you about what you said ( unless you edit your post, then i probably disagree )


i wont flag this thread because if it gets more attention it would be the greatest ****ing ****storm ATS has ever seen.


if the thread was flagged and more people got attention, 2012 end of the world would happen RIGHT now LOL...

Call it what you want, but I see it for what it is.

Dad had to get his anger out too.

He is human. There was no abuse.
If you think that is mental abuse, boy, are you soft.
Kids are exposed to a hell of a lot more than what this dad did.
Perhaps if he had done something different in his parenting earlier on, this problem would of never occurred, but now he has to deal with what he created, and what he created has to deal with him.
Insulting your own family on facebook because you don't want to do the things you should do as part of growing up is childish, and perhaps so was his response, but he took it down to her level, and then brought it back up to his.
I have watched to many kids grow up and die young because their parents were not there for them when they were younger, and tough love hurts, but in the end it works and people can move on with lesson learned.

I see where he was coming from, if that makes me a bad person, so be it, but I am certain it doesn't.

reply to post by Destinyone


i wouldn't have kids in this messed up world.

my greatest gift to them is not letting them be born in the first place, the amount of suffering on this planet is unfair.

if i ever DID have kids, i would treat them how i wanted to be treated.

my kids would love me and i know it. i would teach them everything i know in a fun and peaceful way.

i would never make the mistakes that i have seen parents make.

everyone supporting this guy is wrong. its not just my opinion, its at the point where i consider it a fact of life, deeply engraved in a diamond wall on the edge of the universe.

reply to post by darkblade71


im soft? or someone else you were talking about?


my point is, if WE are soft, imagine how this teen girl feels.