I can't think anymore.

I admit it. My brain just doesn't work right, anymore. It's gotten so bad that I cannot even remember a thought that I had 5 minutes ago. My focus has gone straight down the toilet. It could be depression. It could be AADD, or only God knows what. But I'm really tired of feeling like a zombie with OCD. No, I don't take any medication. I used to, several years ago. From 1998 up until 2006, I took whatever was prescribed to me. You name it, I've probably taken it. But eventually I revolted (secretly) against my psychiatrist. I haven't taken my meds in years, and no one knows. But I often wonder if those drugs did damage to my brain, and now I'm just a high-functioning retard. I don't mean that in a mean way, I'm serious. It takes me a great deal of effort to do anything worthwhile, that requires thought. I used to be able to compose music. Now, I only practice piano, but I can never finish a song. I just can't think and focus hard enough. And without my music, I don't have anything.

I don't meditate. I don't know how to properly meditate, and I don't even know if it would help. But I'm looking for a way to purify myself, mentally and spiritually. Sounds cliche, right? But I'm serious. I'm really messed up. I think about suicide every day. I've lost my faith, many years ago. I don't know what to believe in. I find myself getting jealous far too easily. I find myself getting angry far too easily, and far too often. I give up too easily. This isn't me. I don't know what's happened to me, but I'd rather be dead than to live the rest of my life like this. And no, I won't go back to medication. It only takes away my emotions and makes me not care one way or another. I don't trust them, I don't trust my doctors, I don't trust the government. I think it was their plan to make us all stupid, and they unfortunately succeeded with me. But it has to end. Or something very bad is going to happen. So I ask for help, here, in the strangest of places. Because my options are all out. What would you do, if you were in my shoes? Be serious... I'm a man on the edge. I just want my brains back. And my soul/spirit, if it's not too late. I want clarity of thought. Maybe I never had it... but it would make all the difference in the world, if I weren't stumbling around through life, like a blind man in a maze.

reply to post by MrUncreated


Find your truth...

Heres a story that might help you with meditation my friend...

reluctant-messenger.com...

Have hope, life is beautiful once you get to know it

sit down somewhere. Feel your breath moving in and out of your body. go do that now. report back when convenient. take your time.

dang and i thought i was the only one whose thoughts or brain wasnt working correctly.

honestly its been happen to me for about 1 year or so (no not a few days ago before that)

i cant think straight nor do i really remember much things. sometimes things come in throu one ear and out the other but i dont understand how if i actually wanna learn or listen,

i dontthink its adhd or AADD its odd tho

lol you made me laugh not to be joking but gaaa maybe its you telling it to yourself and now your starting to believe it

reply to post by MrUncreated


I feel your pain, my friend. I know you said you have trouble thinking but in my case, and this could perhaps be your case too, I think too much. Whether I know it or not, my head is clustered with so many thoughts that when it is time to actually do something constructive, I sit there blankly in a void not even knowing what to do. I can literally sit down to do some bills and just freeze... After a few minutes I shake my head and it comes back to me what to do. Yeah, I am depressed, have suicidal thoughts, have an anxiety disorder, pessimistic thinking, and obsessive compulsive thoughts. A lot of the time I feel like there is a literal fog in the front of my brain, preventing me from thinking straights. Of course, I am not trying to make this about me, I just want you to be able to relate. Now, mine doesn't sound as bad as yours, no offense, but I am also young - 19 years.

Honestly, I know what most of my problem is. Besides having bad thought patterns, I have an unhealthy lifestyle. I don't eat right, I don't exercise, and I certainly don't meditate any more. However, I know that if I did eat a healthy diet with more fruits and vegetables and exercised, I would probably feel better.

Another option (and you may be very wary of it), is acupuncture. Don't be alarmed. I have had many acupuncture treatments and so has the rest of my family. That and a prescription of herbal medicine even cured my dads asthma. My acupuncturist will fill me with needles, I'l lay there for awhile, feel pretty awesome usually, sometimes weird results like tears will pour out of my eyes (note: tears carry toxins out of the body), but it's always pretty good. Then he'll tell me what habits I have that I should work on removing and tell me what to eat and how to feel better. I have always trusted Traditional Chinese Medicine. Perhaps, if you can't find anything else, you could try finding one.

I would try meditating though. It could very well help you. As for eating right and exercising, it's very cliché and I know it. I hear that and I just think to myself "Ugh..why even bother?" but if you can get past that stubbornness, it would probably make you feel better.

Good luck in your life, my friend. You still have the choice to make it a beautiful one and we are all here to support you.

Originally posted by ErroneousDylan
reply to post by MrUncreated

 

Good luck in your life, my friend. You still have the choice to make it a beautiful one and we are all here to support you.

If nothing else is true, know that indeed we are all here for you, regardless what your going through. The people of this community will always be willing to help.

reply to post by MrUncreated


It worked long enough to put 2 paragraphs down.
See it was all in your head, carry on!

(Edit)
Ok now on the real.
If you feel clouded, take a long walk.
Really just walk, it takes no thought to walk, it is totally natural.
Your mind will start to wander as you take in the sunlight and landscape.
Just walk really, try it.

Stop being a drama queen and overcome your fears.

I have addictive compulsive thought patterns. I have been diagnosed ADHD since first grade. I dont take meds because i refuse to believe that my mind and body are out of control. I meditate and pray on a regular basis. It doesn't really help but everyone says it does. I have come to the realization that being is where it is at. Be not compulsive and you will no longer be compulsive. Be. Being will change your life.

not being able to think is a somewhat of an "accomplishment". many people dedicate their whole lives to being able to be in such a state. I can understand that if it's being pushed on you it may be negative. Something is happening to the earth. Awareness might moving out of the mind(maybe transcending). If this is true it can cause depression. I say this because I have experienced a reduction in thoughts over past months, and meditation comes pretty fast. I feel as if i've made too much progress in too short of a time for something not to be going on. Everything I was has dissolved. My beliefs, my ambitions,my morals, everything is gone. many might see this as bad. But if you come to know this by experience you realize that when you live out of your inner nature you don't need any of those things to be a "good" person. You're inner nature is divine. God is love. So when you act from it you are a pure expression of the love that god is. You don't need morals to tell you not to steal or not to hurt others. in fact everything you do out of this level of awareness is virtue

Short n' sweet.
3 things.

1) You are self aware of whats happening to you. Thats half the battle.

2) Find an outlet for your creativity. Doesn't have to be profitable, just pleasurable and come from within you and be for you.

3) Can't meditate? Walk, its free, its easy and its more therapeutic than meds or doctors. Just walk as far as comfortable as often as possible. Its like a recharge for the mind and a sorting room for thoughts.

Take care.

drugs/chemicals temporarily stimulate your consciousness as do psychedelics. Why not do it naturally? Google "100 ways to raise consciousness", I'd add sexual continence, fasting and raw vegan diet to that list.

i feel the same and i feel it geting worse i just put it down to years of ecstasy abuse some days im a zombie others as sharp as a razor at 34 it pisses me off, thats why my posts are 1,2,3,4 lines long, id love my brain back ,that reminds me cheak out a movie called limitless, its just what all us dumbasses need.

I've had same things for a period of time.

I always blamed women to be the cause of that.

What I think of it what it was is that 'an extern' "influence" which was just crap I never even wanted to listen to wanted to show me the way. Maybe I can be blamed for I have once seeked guidance but I didn't need any and it came to me but it was just nothing. You are such a good guy!

It could also be the stars. ?????

Women want you to understand them but hell it takes years to just get a glimpse of understanding in what seems to be a part of them. Time will slowly deal with the issue. Somehow they are getting me over. The way of their teaching makes me realy angry and is a suffering. I hate, though I still am the raging guy I am.

Maybe. ah well, this was kind of what I wanted to say. It's great that life s*cks. You got to understand me the right way. No, sorry, you don't need anything to do or say what I say, even anyone elses.

Remember that!

Jesus, I'm telling you again what you should do.

It is in your way!

I'm sorry, but after reading about all of what ya said. I just had to make an account and say something.
Let me set things straight..

www.youtube.com...

Psychiatry is a killing industry..it's a scam
www.youtube.com...

You know who's really crazy?
They who claims you're crazy is crazier themselves or don't understand.

It's all pseudo science.

I feel sorry for everybody including families who have been a victim of this.

I'm a student in healthcare and I have looked into pseudo science before. I also do alot of research concerning any other topic and subject I find is either non-sense or interesting to me. I like to dig the truth. I don't like myself limited.

If you're already a victim, I suggest you ignore them as much as you can. I know it might be hard for you. I know their are people out there who thinks you're mentally crazy and some won't even hear you out, but truth is, you're not crazy. If you are, you're crazy because they are crazier.

Meditate......
Do all you can to ignore this craziness.
Look into alternatives for healing any other type of medication might trigger your current situation to worsten.
Once you get better, you can go back to your regular life.

I also study medications. You don't want to take any medications that might trigger an overdose or have substances that shouldn't be mix with what's given to you.

Work on your diet perhaps. If you drink diet pop STOP. Eat as healthy as you can and include things like tuna fish and , do not forget fruits. Use sugar in moderation .Water should be fluoride free if possible.
I think that you may be amazed at how much better you will feel.

Yeah, you probably heard it all before. You know on your own what's right, isn't it..


Life can be doing nothing.

I think something about computer use is rewiring our brains in a not-too-healthy way.

My attention span is pretty good, but I admit its gotten worse since I started spending so much time online over the last decade. It seems harder for me to reach that almost-meditative absorbtion in a good book, something which used to come easy. It's harder to slow down and savor things like poetry, language...to just bask in a text, like a lazy day in the park, rolling ideas around in your mind. Ruminating. Maybe that's it. We are losing the ability to ruminate.

Online, I'm dealing with massive amounts of information all the time. I've got different screens going. Tabbed browsing: compulsive multi-tasking, I'm often flicking through six or seven sites at once. The markets -- I watch them obsessively. I'm constantly scouring news headlines for something breaking, but spending less time reading actual articles. I do so much more skimming and scanning now, looking for the quick gist, the juicy meat of the story, and then moving on like hunter taking the heart and leaving the carcass. Perhaps computers are re-wiring our brains to deal with massive info-flows and info-chunking, which has huge advantages, but I think we have to face the fact that something might be getting lost in the shuffle...and we have to find a way to preserve it.

reply to post by MrUncreated



Sounds like you’re stuck in a rut my friend. Happens to the best of us. Now I could blather on and on about how you'll be doomed to relive all your issues in the next life anyway but I get the feeling it probably won't help.

You’re sick of your life, sick of your job, family idk, and friends - obviously not helping.

My advice.......just leave it all behind.

Pack a bag with a few changes of clothes, grab a sleeping bag and take out all your money and jump on the next bus outta there. Where have you always wanted to go? What's holding you back? If friends and family are holding you back then just think - they'd much rather you travelling and seeing the world than dead. Money? You don't need money, you can sleep anywhere, food is no problem - supermarkets and restaurants throw so much relatively fresh food away that it is never a problem. Just google 'dumpster diving'.

You will see things you never even dreamed of. The worst of the worst will make you realise how much your life really doesn’t suck. And the best of the best will make you realise how lucky you are in fact to be alive.

I travelled around Australia like this for quite a while and it was the best thing I have ever done, one of the smartest girls I know is doing this around the U.K. as we speak. At first you may think “This is crazy", especially on your first few nights til your soft-ass body gets used to sleeping on hard ground, and the temptation will be to run back to the security of your comfortable little rut. But not only does it do wonders for your back, but you get used to it very soon and slowly your eyes will open to the true beauty inherent in all things. Make certain to visit some places of natural wonder on your travels. And don’t come back til you’ve found your truth……….



If you’re too much of a pussy to try this then go with the meditation thing. Your instincts seem to be telling you to give it a try so why don’t you. Obviously you’ve got nothing to lose. Better yet do both. Good luck.

The kingdom of heaven is within. So is the kingdom of hell. You just gotta find a way. Your emotions are a result of your interactions with other people and how you see people. Do this. Start seeing everything as beautiful. Let everything you see be as beautiful as you can let it be. Keep it up, and pretty soon, you'll find a reason for living. You will also find love.