Where's the Beef Writing Contest [WTB][Winners Announced]

Got a beef?



I doubt there's a person alive, older than a pre-schooler, who does not have a negative opinion about something that has influenced their lives in a bad way.

Here's your chance to let it all hang out somewhere besides the Rant forum... an actual contest in which your ability as a ticked-off writer will be rated by your fellow members.

Do not pick on other members or this website, though, because the first is a T&C violation and the second would be better handled on a personal level with staff.

Think 'out there' in the real world: Schools, governments, institutions, bill collectors, your neighbors, officials of all stripes and any pet peeve outside ATS is what I'm looking for.


All T&C's apply, especially in light of the well-written rants expected. Any profanity or censor circumvention in the story will cause it to get binned and the content of the opening post returned to the author via U2U.

Title must contain [WTB]

Enter as many stories as you like, but post them as seperate threads in the Short Story forum.

No upper or lower word count limits

Any writing form acceptable

There will be three winners chosen, based solely on the number of flags their story receives from your fellow members.

The contest runs until midnight, December 15 and the winners announced the morning of December 16.

Winners only will get writer status, 5 'applauses' each and included in the Showcase of Winners.

The contest only runs for two weeks, so, get typing and good luck.

This one sounds good
The chance to vent over several pages with impunity.. yay

reply to post by davespanners


Best get writing then.

The earlier your story is entered, the more time there is for fellow members to read and flag it.

Whatever flags are attached to your story early on the morning of the 16th will decide who wins what and that could very well be 12:01 AM EST (if I stay up long enough).

I'm tempted to enter something generated by the Scott Pakin Complaint generator.
www.pakin.org...

The following is an example:


In this letter, I'm not going to argue that Barrak Obama is trying to hold himself up as a cultural icon. Nor am I going to argue that his continual falsifications of history neatly illustrate his adherence to revanchism. I'm not going to argue those factors because they're irrelevant. Instead, I will say only that he is a mythmaker, an illusion builder, or to put it less politely, a trickster. There are a number of reasons he isn't telling us as to why he wants to condone universal oppression. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. One of the things that impresses me about all of it is the massive number of people who realize that he has long been threatening our core values, allegiances, and beliefs. What worries me more than that, however, is that if Barrak ever manages to defy the rules of logic, that's when the defecation will really hit the air conditioning.

Barrak once tried to destroy the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you decidedly don't understand how Barrak operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that he has vowed that one day he'll make my worst nightmares come true. This is hardly news; Barrak has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that it's not necessarily difficult to snap his spinmeisters out of their trance. We can begin simply by taking the mechanisms, language, ideology, and phraseology for determining what is right and what is wrong out of the hands of Barrak and his hirelings and putting them back in the hands of ordinary people. See? I told you it wasn't necessarily difficult. We just need to remember that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with Barrak stating that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. That prevarication incited his proxies to rewrite and reword much of humanity's formative works to favor nihilism. Litigious, intolerant hell-raisers reacted, in turn, by engaging in an endless round of finger pointing. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in recidivism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that the key to Barrak's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, Barrak contends that the bogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. Excuse me, but where exactly did this little factoid come from?

Barrak's ballyhoos are resistentialism redux. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Barrak has any control over. But that's inconsequential because Barrak makes a lot of exaggerated claims. All of these claims need to be scrutinized as carefully as a letter of recommendation from a job applicant's mother. Consider, for example, Barrak's claim that there won't be any blowback from his bad-mouthing worthy causes. The fact of the matter is that by any objective standard, his communications are thoroughly nugatory. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that we need to provide a trenchant analysis of Barrak's machinations. Why? Because of what's at stake: literally everything. Summa summarum, Barrak Obama thumbs his nose at some of the very things I treasure.

reply to post by The Cusp


But that wouldn't be an example of YOUR writing, would it?

If such methods were used to create stories, what would be the use of these contests?

reply to post by The Cusp


WTH? lol.

If this was an example of the contest entries, I'd think I'd pass on even reading them this go-round.

I am already working on something, I suppose it 'could' be considered a rant. Hopefully it can be submitted in time, if not it will make a great Holiday thread... Hint? Maybe...

Rant time! Rant time!

Well excited for this one

I got beef for ya bruv.

I was originally gonna post this thread in Skunk Works but, I figured this creative writing contest would allow me more freedom to be free and loose with the facts to make my case.

The Enslavement of Man (by Women) [WTB]


And for those of you who may get a little hot under the collar from this story please keep in mind that I used some inflammatory rhetoric in order to make it humorous on purpose.

Its a shame I posted this one last year, it would be perfect for this contest:

Born on Christmas; what a RIPOFF!

ETA: here's another that would have been perfect for this contest:

I’m not sure if I posted this in the right place. Mods, please feel free to move this if it is in the wrong forum.

Beef, cooked with steam.

Peace,
-TF

sounds like a fun one, good luck everyone, I look forward to reading all of your entries.

I had my entry all done, logged in to post it and discovered I had lost my internet connection. That was nearly a week ago, I'm still offline at home and I can't post my rant from the library. AND it was a nearly five mile walk to get here AND the bus passed me because it didn't adhere to the time printed on the timetable.

Well, I suppose this counts as a rant. I might even have to walk all the way back

Gosh, I know how to squeak, don't I? Anyway, I'm back online for now.

Here's my entry:


www.abovetopsecret.com...

reply to post by masqua


even though contests can provide a means of motivation through comparison with others (the e-dick)
("right" brain side stimulation , or was it "left" ?) or some sort of reward
in my opinion when the aspect of comparison with others is left aside ,
it allows mental capacities which would have otherwise been commited to such thoughts to be redirected
to even further improvement . the "e-dick" , as one would assume tends to be of larger size amongst male members when compared to female members .
this concept has proven itself to be quite fruitful in a competitive environment .
just my 2 ct's , competition , especially within ranks of the same side , is highly unproductive .
most of the time , but at times something supposedly unproductive can be turned into something productive .
which mustn't hold any sense at all if you dont want it to have any , again this isnt about personal content merely about writing techniques
being competitive through letting go of competition ,
tryna be altruistic through means of an egoistic desire for self-mastery (and ONLY that mastery)
here goes a one-way-track-doublethink .
reminds me of the two zen masters arguing over who had more
successfully subdued his own ego.(quote stolen somewhere thus no credit due)

reply to post by BoB420


OK... Your opinion is duly noted and perhaps we could one day do a writing competition lauding either the usefulness or disfunction of contests. Perhaps you'll contribute. I'm fairly certain the next will likely be related to the hopes and dreams for the new year.

This [WTB] contest, though, will end tonight, so be sure to flag thine fave.

reply to post by masqua


Ooooh! I will enter that one, too. Thanks for taking the time to do these contests, I love reading the stories people come up with.

And the winners of the [WTB] writing contest are:

1st, with 96 flags:

Sorry babe, but you do have a penis... by 1littlewolf

2nd, with 23 flags:

The Lie That America Has Become by FissionSurplus

3rd, with 21 flags:

The Beauty of a Woman by ottobot

Congratulations all, on a fine contest. Lots of great stories were submitted and the response from the membership was very active.

Keep an eye on the Short Story forum for the next contest coming up within a few days, if not sooner.

reply to post by masqua




Oh, well, I guess I did well for my first try. I had fun participating and enjoyed all the other stories.

Congrats to all the winners; you deserve it.

Man I feel dumb. I was wondering why those stories were all tagged with WTB. I wish I had payed more attention I would have LOVED to write something. Now I'm going to have to go read all those stories. to participants and great idea!