The one triumph, and nine tragedies of my ATS fantasy football team so far...hilariously pathetic

Yes, my fantasy football team is doing crap. Currently Im sitting at 1 win 9 losses, with no hope of making the final four. Most the losses have been almost comical, so hopefully everyone can get a laugh at my expense.

Week One- Aussie Thunder (67pts) vs Team Shapro (89pts)
Despite being the last player to pick their first round player (thankyou rigged random draft), I was looking forward to the first round, that was until halfway through the sunday games.

Highlight- Matt Ryans 17 points...yay me for foreseeing this

Lowlights- Steve Slatons 2 points, he was my first pick.....TJ Houshmandzadehs 4 points...forgot he wasnt used to playing on the west coast. Team Shapros kicker (Neil Rackers) outscoring all of my players, except Matt Ryan....wtf?

Week Two- Aussie Thunder (94pts) vs Team Starry (86pts)
I won, I friggin won....I thought at this point that things were looking up for my team

Highlights- I won, Marques Coltson, 21 points went nuts on Philadelphias defense, Matt Ryan another 18 points, Kellen Winslows 15 points (genius pick at this point for TE)

Lowlights- Dolphins defense got 0 points, but who cares I beat the best team in the league

Week Three- Aussie Thunder (54) vs Team Sloppy Slappys (75)
You know its a bad week when your defense outscores 2 of your running backs, 2 wide recievers and your quarterbacks combined score

Hihglights- My 2 highest scores being my Chargers defense 13 points and my Kicker Mason Crosby with 11 points

Lowlights- Everyone else on my team except Steve Slatons 10 points

Week Four- Aussie Thunder (73) vs Canadian Mod Squad (93)
Even when I play half decent I lose......and no Matt Ryan= FAIL

Highlights- Steve Slaton is finally doing something 18 points, Calvin Johnson 14 points (2nd pick finally achieving double figures), Broncos defense against Dallas 13 points.....good pick up for me

Lowlights- Everyone else especially that douche Mark Sanchez....Ok, I get it you're a rookie, but -1pts...how the hell does a starting QB get -1 points....I mean wtf, double facepalm, deskface..etc....I cant believe I overlooked 12 odd QB's for you. Oh and everyone else played crap to

Week Five- Aussie Thunder (106) vs Uranus Sleepers (114)
Finally broke 100...hold on I lost...Nooooooooo. Bunch I hold you responsible for this, possible match fixing.

Highlights- Matt Ryan again 25 points, best 3rd round pickup ever.....Winslow 22 points, TJ (cant be bothered typing out the rest of his name) 19 points..

Lowlights- Calvin Johnson forgets gets kidnapped by the Uranus Sleeprs owner, and gets 0 points, costing me the win....either that or he was injured. And that damn Vikings defense racks up 20 points against the Rams, who suck balls by the way. Also, Cedric Benson for sitting on my bench and scoring 19 points against friggin Blatimore of all teams, again which wouldve gifted me the win

Week Six- Aussie Thunder (81) vs Team Starry (122)
Yes I wasnt worried, I was long overdue for a win and I had beaten Starry already this year.....I hold Tennesee responsible for this loss, gifting Wes Welker a career game and not scoring

Hihglights- Marques Colston 22 points, Broncos defense 18 points....

Lowlights- Steve Slaton for scoring 18 points after I benched him, Wes Welker for scoring 27 points for Starry, Ryan Longwell 16 points who also contributed to my loss and Calvin Johnson for finally figuring out that he was injured. Cedric Benson realising he isnt that good after all

Week Seven- Aussie Thunder (80) vs Bushido Kanji (116)
Anyone starting to see a trend of teams scoring big against me? Its a conspiracy I reckon

Highlights- Benson with 24 points (finally), Slaton 18 points (finally), Dan Carpenter 10 points...

Lowlights- Glen Coffee 0 points for getting injured, Matt Ryan 9 points starting to suck....Percy "Who the hell is he" Harvin for scoring 26 points for Bushido...and again the friggin defense, for Bushido...this time it was the Eagles 21 points....wtf?

Week Eight- Aussie Thunder (34) Team Johnson (68)
I was so confident here, a guy who hasnt checked his team for weeks, and me with my gladiators....

Highlights- Nil (unless you count Marques Colstons 14 points)

Lowlights- Broncos defense -2 pts, Randy McMichael 1 pts, Steve "Fumblesaurus" Slaton -1 pts, TJ 2 pts, Sidny Rice for not turning up on my team at all leaving me one reciever down, Ryan for sucking more again 9 points, and Tony Romo for Team Johnson 21 who realised that he CAN actually throw a football.

Week Nine- Aussie Thunder (73) vs Canadian Mod Squad (83)
It can only get better right?.....No

Highlights- Benson again with 17 points....I dropped Ryan for Hasselbeck 15 points, good move.

Lowlights- Steve "Im so sorry to my fantasy owners" Slaton 8 measely points, Colston 4 points, Todd Heap 2 points, Torry "why did i pick you in my team" Holt 1 point

Week Ten- Aussie Thunder (75) vs Cuba Raft Riders (99)
So, Im coming u against the second best team...who incidentally is my main suspect in rigging the draft (he got second pick this year, first last year, hmmmmm)

Highlights- Sidney Rice 20 points, yay....TJ 16 points, Winslow 10 points...how could I have possibly lost this?

Lowlights- Leaving Fred Jackson on the bench and watching him score TD's and accumulate ridiculous return yards and rushing yards...he scored 29 points which I couldve won on. For the opponent, Brett Favre for not dying of old age yet and amassing 17 points...the Ravens defense for reminding everyone that the Browns still suck and scoring 24 points...the defense curse continues

So four games to go....and hopefully I can win at least one

Anyone had similar Fantasy Football Failures?



















[edit on 20/11/2009 by OzWeatherman]

[edit on 20/11/2009 by OzWeatherman]

Your losses have been quite comical, I will admit. A few of them I'd say you were just over-matched, but others - such as the ones where you broke 100 and still lost - were terrible luck.

I used to have pretty crappy fantasy teams, but I've gotten better over the last few years. I don't recall having one as bad as yours this year though.

reply to post by NovusOrdoMundi


Lol

Thanks, im glad you are able to see that its not my fault :shk:

OH MAN.....what can I say...at least I know this weeks my players are going to rack up some numbers for sure this week!!!

reply to post by OzWeatherman


Don't underestimate my kicker. I feel honored for handing you your first of many losses.

Originally posted by Karlhungis
reply to post by OzWeatherman

 

Don't underestimate my kicker. I feel honored for handing you your first of many losses.

Ok

You are now officially responsible for my endless downward spiral.....if I had played Matt Ryan and Calvin Johnson last week I wouldve won

Hopefully this week goes better

oh boy.....you really are cursed or something...

Originally posted by Bunch
oh boy.....you really are cursed or something...

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How much BS is that!!!!

Benson pulls out at the last minute, which happened when I was asleep, and Ryan gets injured on the first set of plays....thats just f*cked.....WTF



I was in good position to win this week :shk:

reply to post by OzWeatherman


oh man that's just funny.

I've had bad luck in another league, some of it centered around steve slayton too.

it's finally starting to come up Millhouse, but a bit too late. highest I can get is 5th. oh well.

reply to post by iamsupermanv2


Yeah, he was a waste of a round one pick wasnt he

This week I was poised to have a win, Cedric benson decided to pullout just before the game, despite me following the entire week and him ensuring that he was good to play, and Matt Ryan hurts his toe......both zeroes.

All I needed was one point and I wouldve won, but I had to settle for a tie instead

oh i didn't waste round one on him...that was for drew brees.

more like a 4th round waste.

Originally posted by iamsupermanv2
oh i didn't waste round one on him...that was for drew brees.

more like a 4th round waste.

Its not like I had much of a choice at round one though...I was last person to pick, and I had to follow 4 people who didnt bother turning up for the draft and who also didnt put their teams in preferential order

You should join the ATS one next year...those that decided not to keep track of their team this year wont be invited again

reply to post by OzWeatherman


maybe i will sir...maybe i will.

Originally posted by iamsupermanv2
reply to post by OzWeatherman

 

maybe i will sir...maybe i will.

NovusOrdoMundi is the moderator for the ATS competition, so next year keep your eye out for a thread on BTS where you can apply. The only requirement is that you actually play, or log in each week. This year a few players havent done this making it a little less challenging, although judging by my luck it has been challenging, lol

Originally posted by OzWeatherman
Week Seven- Aussie Thunder (80) vs Bushido Kanji (116)
Anyone starting to see a trend of teams scoring big against me? Its a conspiracy I reckon

Highlights- Benson with 24 points (finally), Slaton 18 points (finally), Dan Carpenter 10 points...

Lowlights- Glen Coffee 0 points for getting injured, Matt Ryan 9 points starting to suck....Percy "Who the hell is he" Harvin for scoring 26 points for Bushido...and again the friggin defense, for Bushido...this time it was the Eagles 21 points....wtf?

Percy Harvin is my sleeper that I picked up in the nick of time he is also my return man, every one needs one of those in this league. Looks like you have one that you need to be starting every week, that Danny Amendola guy out of St. Lous. I know his projections are low, but trust me, he gets a lot of chances for returns given that the Rams are tanking on defense. The yardage adds up. Who knows, he may be lucky enough to take one back for a score like my Percy Harvin does just about every week

As for the failures question at the end, I haven't failed in fantasy football since I have started in 2001. Granted, I was about 10 at the time, so cut me some slack for winning only three (3) games.

After that I went on to win a couple championships, and last year I went to one of the championships, and finished first, second, and third for my three teams.

This year I only have two, one being in 3rd place and the other in 5th or something, which is our league. My team has been tanking since the fall of Owen Daniels

reply to post by Bushido Kanji


Im still not convinced in Amendola, he hasnt been getting more than 10 or so the last few weeks, although he is moving up the Rams recieving chart. Fred Jackson and Cedric Benson have been my 2 best performaners, and Beanie Wells hasnt been too bad either.....you all laughed at me when I picked him up too.

My problem is that I simply have bad luck I guess. I mean who couldve forseen Ryan getting injured on the first drive, with me only needing 1 solitary point to win this week....and Benson pulling out at the last minute....while it was in the early hours of the morning here. And to add, Bensons chances were better than Steven Jacksons chances, yet Benson sits out and Jackson doesnt, WTF?

reply to post by OzWeatherman


I think that getting that tie last week was a good touch. I fine addition to your season.

reply to post by Bushido Kanji


ooo! owen daniels ruined me too. I swear that if he stayed healthy, I'd have be in the top 4 in my league.

it's like what happened to me that one year with andre johnson.

Seeing as my seasons pretty much obver, Im gonna experiment this week, maybe put Matt Stafford in and give Justin Forsett a run

reply to post by OzWeatherman


Listen, you might have bad luck in this contest, but you seem to be doing alright in the other football pool. You have won it twice now I believe.

So you aren't having bad luck everywhere.