Emptiness the Life [TTSSC]

"Waaaake uuuup," the soft and willowy voice requests. I heard it from the back of consciousness; in my confusion between waking and slumber I could swear that I had just heard a voice direct me to wake up. No matter, my dream is calling me back, now I fade once again.

"Waaake uuup" the soft voice beckons again. This time I am sure I heard it. My eyes struggle to open, slowly. I manage to open my eyes just slightly and to my horror; I find that I do not recognize my surroundings. My heart begins to race; I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead for I recognize nothing. I sit straight up and glance from one corner of the room to the other. I am in what looks to be a small motel room. A familiar and unmistakable space consisting quite generically of a bed, a bureau, television, small exposed closet, and a bathroom and nothing else. "Where am I?" I manage to say but I do not sound like me. I try to clear my throat but even this sounds foreign to me. "It's of no consequence to you where you are" the frail voice announced. Terror quickly sets in, I am absolutely horrified. "Wait" I demand, as if I need to buy time, "wait!" "Who are you? Why can't I see you?" I ask. "Again, this is of no consequence; however you may want to look at yourself." The voice sounds almost amused. “The more appropriate question is who are youuuu?” Is this voice in my head? Have I gone insane? Is this my inner voice antagonizing me?

I attempt to roll off of the bed, I feel sharp pain coming from my jaw and my back, and I begin to cry. "Why are you crying?" asks the voice, I can hear his words through his smile, almost like speaking to someone on the telephone; you can hear a person smile as they speak. "I hurt," I cry out. "Your facial hair is pinned beneath your hand. We’ve never been the cerebral type now have we?" The voice says quite gleefully. "What?" I look down to notice that I have a long white beard, and it is trapped under the palm of my hand as I attempt to get up. My hands are not recognizable either, they’re withered and my fingernails are over grown and have become quite yellow. "I…I don’t have a beard!!" I scream, "Are you suuuure?" the voice asks. "Get up and looooook, as always you’re making false, uninformed statements." The voice suggests. I manage roll to my right and push myself into a sitting position, I am startled by the sight of my legs, so thin and old. "What has happened to me?" "My god what has happened to me?" I cry out.

"Allow put it simplistically, youuuu have been moved aloooong in time, again it's of little consequence what has happened to youuu at this point, what may be a more appropriate question would be: why has this happened to youuu." I struggle to my feet and head to the bathroom mirror. My legs wobble under the weight of my body, and I fall against the doorway of the bathroom and squint to help focus on my reflection in the mirror. The realization begins to set in. I am an old man. "What has happened to me? Why am I old? Was I in an accident? Where is my family?" The voice does not answer. "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY?" I wail.
"Your family has been granted an opportunity to live, to be free of the weight of your insignificance." The voice replies. “You were an insignificant man leading an insignificant life, and they deserved better” the now hostile voice sarcastically states. "What? What do you mean?" I ask. "Again, you fail to ask the proper questions, questions that may assist you in learning." The voice seems to be almost annoyed now. It's willowy pitch replaced by a more sinister growl. "You have been moved along in time to make room for others more deserving; you had squandered ENOUGH time, and youuu did not deserve the allocation of another second!" "I don't understand....Help me understand all of this." I plead. "I will attempt to explain, however you should not concern yourself with this explanation, I assure you of this, youuuu will not understand it at this time. You see, time is not the A-Z linear abstract idea that you perceive it to be. Think of time as a singular point expanding outward in every direction at once. If you occupy part of any of this singularity, you thus occupy it all. You see, your utter lack of respect for the gift you have been given has resulted in your removal from this time and space. Your removal has freed up valuable space for those who have a better concept and appreciation of the gift they have been given." The voice continued.

"The decision to remove you aided others; it has given them a larger reward. The moments that they sacrificed themselves for the benefit of others, has been equaled out and returned to them in the form of moments of great satisfaction." The voice stated.

"This could not have been the case had not the decision been made to move you along." "Move me along? Move me along what?" I asked, the voice again sounded annoyed. "You are not required to understand, you are not required to appreciate what I am explaining to you. You have served your purpose and if you disagree than might I suggest that the next time you are given a gift, you learn to cherish and share it with others." "The whereabouts of your family shall not be a concern to you for they no longer exist as your family." The voice stated.

"You are a memory, a recollection of a mistake in judgment by your wife, and that of a failure to your children. I assure you that they are much more fulfilled now, a fulfillment that someone like youuuu would have never been able to provide”

I hardly felt myself fall to the floor; I notice the slow rotation of a ceiling fan. "Dear God, give me the strength to wake from this nightmare". "Me, me, me, it's all about me. Perhaps you should focus on what little good you have done, rather than how you have been wronged. It's always the same; these pathetic souls continue to focus on themselves". The voice continues as if speaking to another unseen entity, "This is why you and those like you will continue to be moved along, rest assured, you are not the first nor will you be the last". "How much time do I have left?" I ask. "Youuuuu… my lost soul, have no time left" The voice snickers.


With that, all of a sudden I feel alone. I struggle to my knees, crying.


BANG! BANG!!, BANG!!.

I hear a pounding at the door. This startles me, as I glance around the room looking for the door. BANG! BANG!, BANG!. I drop down to the floor in terror as the door is forced in. There I see two men in masks; one draws a gun and fires it. I see nothing now just surrounded by black, but I can still hear them. "Look in the drawers!" one says. “There's nothing in here man, no clothes, no wallet, money nothing!"
He says. I am above them now; I can see the entire room. My old and lifeless body is in a motionless and bloody heap. I see one of them turn to witness the other falling unconscious on the bed. He begins himself to feel tired and drops to the floor.

From a distance, I hear the familiar soft and willowy voice say "Waaaake uuuup,"

Only this time.... I am somehow aware that it is not speaking to me.

Wow that was like a Twilight Zone episode and I like that show! Good idea you used of "moving someone along in time".

Nice little twist at the end. I assume the voice is speaking to his murderers?

Good job!

Thank you, I appreciate the time you have taken to read it! Truth is; I’ve been hammering away at this concept for some time and I am envisioning a longer tale that includes the back story. The main character’s back story is clear in my head, I just have yet to put it down on paper. Thank you so much once again.

[edit on 9-9-2009 by TheDarkHorse]

reply to post by TheDarkHorse


Wow I really like your story, excellent!

The strange thing about this story is, sometime last week I really did hear a familiar soft and willowy voice say "Waaaake uuuup," twice in the early hours of the morning, the strangest part was there was nobody there, it was so real that I had to get up out of bed and take a look around the house just to make sure.

Did you really hear that voice or did you make it up?

Anyway, thanks for posting this and I wish you the best of luck in the competition

[edit on 9-9-2009 by ChemicalSubstance]

Hey thanks CS! That’s an odd coincidence. The story is entirely a work of fiction and is essentially the framework for a story I am writing that would not be considered a ‘short story’. I am fascinated by the human mind, various natural states of consciousness, and the transition between dreaming and being fully awake. I feel that there is more to dreams than we’ve been able to tangibly document at this point in human history. There is much, much more to it.

The origin was simply born out of a bout with depression I had not so long ago. As some who battle with depression from time to time will attest, there are moments where you wonder what life would be like if you were just ‘erased’. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?

It’s just a self-pity, poor me mentality that unfortunately many people suffer from. As irrational as it may sound to those who have never been though this debilitating emotional state; I assure you that it’s not pleasant. So, I decided to build the framework of a story around a fictional character whose life was deemed to be worthless by a being or entity that could actually take him out of the equation.

The concept is loosely alluded to in the story that if he were ‘removed’ the space he occupied would be then filled by a more worthy life, a life that would have the emotional stability to take stock and be grateful for this gift of life. Like a mathematical equation, this gives it depth. After all; everything in the Universe can be broken down mathematically, why not our actual existence?

The process of writing this story (and others see “Stream of Consciousness from Six Feet Under”) has aided me in battling my own bouts of depression and self loathing. I have no reason to feel this way, I’ve have a blessed existence, but yet several times a year I fall into a deep depression for which there is absolutely no rationality.

I look at it this way; I would rather use the emotion however dark it may be to create something than medicate myself into daze and feel nothing at all.

reply to post by TheDarkHorse


I loved it TheDarkHorse! I was actually sad at first that the main character was killed but then as I continued to read the perpetrators fell victim to the same force that had him. A really cool twist and I felt like justice was done too. Nice. Star and flagged without a doubt.

This is a great story, DarkHorse. I also very much liked reading the later post in which you explain your thoughts about it, and how it came to be. It's an interesting notion....to have one's life erased. Hm.

Good story and I am sure you will do well in the contest!
liw

A good read, thanks for sharing.

A spooky read indeed. I know how that fellow feels sometimes after I wake up and stumble into the washroom to look upon myself in the mirror. Oh, horrors!!!

Well written, TDH...