advice needed regarding being ghosted

Ever since my sister in law moved away. She ghosted me or it seems like she ghosted me. I thought we were close. She walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, was my birthing partner with my son, she was there when i found out i was pregnant with my son, and so on. She has never called me, and when i phone her it's hard to get a hold of her. When i try to make plans with her so my kids can see their cousins. There is always an excuse or "i will check next weekend". Literally, the last time my daughter been with her cousins was back in april on her birthday.

She moved away 1-2 years ago. Seems like our friendship is basically vanished. I feel heart broken. she was considered my best friend but just like every friend i ever had beside two. Stop talking to me or ghosted me.

I miss my nieces as well but it seems i will never see them again. I don't know what i did wrong. I offered to babysit them while she at work. Ever since she moved away. Her personality did a 360. I stopped trying to phone after a while.

How do i get over the emotions? What should i do? How do i deal? Am i overreacting?

a reply to: CaptainHook

I would try not to take it to heart (I know, easier said than done), she may feel like she needs to stand on her own two feet and needs a fresh start when she moved away? Maybe try talking to her about it?

a reply to: CaptainHook

What was the reason she moved away ? Could be an indication, or nothing at all.

People tend to be fake and show fake personalities because they feel they 'have too'. Then when they no longer have to fake it , they reveal their real selves. Happens all the time, so don't feel bad/heartbroken about that.

Did something happen between you and your brother maybe?

a reply to: ancientlight My husband and i, mother in law, and sister in all family lived on the same property in separate houses. Mother in law wanted to move away so her ex could take over the place. My husband and i stayed. My sister in law and her family moved because of conflations that would happened between ex and her family.

There is no issue with my brother. He isn't involved in this story.

People change. She may be going through some kind of mental health issue which causes her to withdraw.

You might ask her straight up what's going on.

a reply to: Kurokage
i feel if i try to bring it up there be drama. I thought about it but don't want to end up being more heartbroken.

a reply to: CaptainHook
My advice: Forget about her. I know it's hard and your kids won't see their cousins but you tried.

And you evidently already gave up by not phoning her. You can deal with it like I do, ask yourself this: If you would meet your sister on the road today, without knowing it's her/your sister would you want to be friends with her?

I almost went to jail for something my sister did, who tried to ruin my life and my kids life for financial gain, so I ghosted her.

And our life is so much better.

Have you tried Ghost Busters?

Get the fellas though, the women were crap.

originally posted by: CaptainHook
a reply to: Kurokage
i feel if i try to bring it up there be drama. I thought about it but don't want to end up being more heartbroken.

It may be best to try to move on, keep in touch and send them Birthday and Christmas cards, letting them know you're still there for them but give them the space they seem to want..

Friendships take work, real work and generally from both sides. When one person gets distracted by work, relationships etc then a friendship can just fade.

I have a friend who didn’t get in touch for a while because they felt bad about not getting in touch, it sounds mad but often people feel so guilty they’ve left it long they then won’t get in touch. It usually takes the other person to initiate contact.

I meet up with my friends (of nearly 40 years) just over once a month. Yeah they’ve had decades of grief from their partners for it but we continue to meet up and chew the fat, put the world to rights and generally moan about how things aren’t as good as they were years ago.

Keep trying if you value that friendship, until you don’t.

a reply to: Kurokage

thanks will do that

Suggestion. Look for Facebook or other social networking sites she's on and try to add her as a friend.

Be cordial and polite, do not set yourself up for disappointment. Friends come and go, perhaps you put something on social media that put her off. Bottom line is you are who you are.

Do not let it bother you!

I married very young into a larfge, extremely disfunctional family. I always did my best to get along with my brother and sister in laws, but had absolutely no desire to stay in contact once I left that situation.

They were okay for the most part on an extremely casual level, but still toxic all the same. I know it was hard on them being ghosted by me, but explaining why would have served no purpose, other than to create drama and hard feelings. They are who they are, and saying anything to them would not have changed their dysfunctional family dynamics in any positive way.

My life is too short to deal with family drama when it seems to be a reocccuring theme. Just another perspective from someone who is willing to ghost people who continually bring me down.

I married very young into a larfge, extremely disfunctional family. I always did my best to get along with my brother and sister in laws, but had absolutely no desire to stay in contact once I left that situation.

They were okay for the most part on an extremely casual level, but still toxic all the same. I know it was hard on them being ghosted by me, but explaining why would have served no purpose, other than to create drama and hard feelings. They are who they are, and saying anything to them would not have changed their dysfunctional family dynamics in any positive way.

My life is too short to deal with family drama when it seems to be a reocccuring theme. Just another perspective from someone who is willing to ghost people who continually bring me down.

a reply to: CaptainHook

sometimes the answer is very simple.

" Out of sight, Out of mind "

When you two were close together the Friendship was strong but when she left it's as if it never happened .

That is just the way some people operate , Personalities are a real thing and you shouldn't take it personal I'm sure she is not trying to be mean or avoid you .

Life just carries on.

a reply to: CaptainHook

Be your own best friend.
Focus on your immediate family.
Find your true joy in life. The right people will find you.

Don’t chase. Sometimes people were only meant to be in our lives for certain periods of time.

Maybe I shouldn’t give you advice, I’m a Gemini and we’re famous for ghosting people.

a reply to: CaptainHook

My heart feels for you... I've been in similar circumstances. A couple times there was no resurrecting the relationship, but other times it did end well with reconciliation. There may not be a problem about you, but for other reasons, the person just isn't capable of maintaining a relationship.

Anyway, usually if I don't hear back from someone after a couple messages, I text/email them and say I hope I haven't done anything to offend them, and that they're just busy doing wonderful things, and look forward to hearing from them soon. And if they're going through tough times, I'm here for them when/if I can help, and good luck and God bless. Then I leave them be, except to continue to send birthday wishes and Christmas cards and wish them well.

A few people have very much appreciated the space to work through their crap, and gotten in touch with me when they were ready. Others not so much! But that's just how it is.

Good luck and I hope it all works out well for you in the end.

a reply to: CaptainHook

You need to find a like minded friend, unfortunately it is not always a family member. Sometimes you just grow apart. I have friends that are closer than blood relatives because we have so much in common. These friends are my family.

One day she might come around but you’re only depressing yourself waiting for that day that may not come.
I have a sister I haven’t spoken with in ten years and it is for the better. I found out that she was a brick in a ocean and was always trying to bring me down.

a reply to: CaptainHook

Don't take it personally - you're not the only one to have these things happen to you, people move on in life and drop others all the time, and we never know why.
She just moved on. And it may have nothing to do with you.