My issues with 007

This is what woke culture has become.



It's a bunch of people who aren't white males ignoring every single instance where they had their own moments in culture prior to wokism, and instead papering over every instance they can see where a white male had a moment while screaming this song.

a reply to: DBCowboy

My issue is that he likes his martini shaken. Barbarian...

I once asked James how he slept with all of those women and didn’t get HIV, the clap, and other STD’s ? He said, “it’s easy they all saved themselves for me.”

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy

My issue is that he likes his martini shaken. Barbarian...

I ordered a Vesper martini, had to explain to the attractive barmaid how to make it. Shaken darling, so cold that one sip will start and ice age, so dry it’s a little bit dusty. Tipped her a £500 casino chip and bedded her later. JB….

originally posted by: underpass61

originally posted by: crayzeed
a reply to: DBCowboy
The issue you've got with 007 is as of nothing. Wait till he retires and the next 007 will be Black or god forbid a Black woman.

I heard we're getting a female Indiana Jones - not sure what color yet.

We'll know that we've hit the bottom when "Rainbow Heat" gets released.

An underage non-binary person will get shot off the top of a chemical plant which then explodes but not before we hear the immortal cry of

"Made it birthing parent!.......Top of the woooooorld! "

originally posted by: Nickn3
I ordered a Vespa martini, had to explain to the attractive female bartender how to make it. Shaken darling, so cold that one sip will start and ice age, so dry it’s a little bit dusty. Tipped her a $50 and bedded her later. JB….

Vesper.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Found this interesting.

en.wikipedia.org...

I say they are all dead or retired like it says in this article. They must retire at 45, but there is a contradiction in the writings.

I read this in the AM and then forgot about it as the day progressed, but for some reason it is now almost 5 PM and I just thought about poor forgotten agent "Kevin Tinkle" and I can't stop laughing. Thanks for the giggles.

Tinkle. Kevin Tinkle.

a reply to: DBCowboy

My problem is that he never kills the bad guys when he has the chance, and if the bad guy happens to be female forget about it it ain’t happening.

And the bad guys never kill him but always some elaborate execution which takes 10 minutes and millions of dollars instead of a lump of lead quickly inserted the old fashioned style. Then you could sit back and watch your sharks feast.

And apparently there was indeed an 001 up to 013:

Agent 001. In the Raymond Benson novel, Doubleshot, Edward Donne is referred to as agent 001. However, 001 has never been a part of any movie of the James Bond series. Some even say that M, being the head of MI6, is also 001

Just have to keep reading…but are you ready for the new female 007 ?

a reply to: Tulpa

Imagine the remake of Titanic.

New research shows that the reason why Rose's mother wanted her to get married so quickly wasn't because the father went broke, it was because she had affair on the side with the black stableboy and Rose was really a woman lesbian BIPOC. Instead of Jack being a struggling street artist Italian boy, Jack is really the one legged prostitute who was actually a transperson all along. Rose and one-legged Jack have to escape her enraged former fiance who is still the white male capitalist pig he originally was.

a reply to: ketsuko

I haven't seen that one yet.

I heard it was about a train that skids in some ice and crashes or some such thing.

I'm betting the remake would have to be called "front upper torsotanic" now, too.

Double No Kevin!

a reply to: crayzeed

Wait till he retires and the next 007 will be Black or god forbid a Black woman.

Black transsexual lesbian with a Black Belt in Social Justice Warriorism.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Tsk, tsk. You have forgotten the ultimate spy, Double Naught Spy Jethro Bodine!

a reply to: Tulpa

Well the backdrop can pretty much stay the same because it was a white guy who built the ship and they can write in all kinds of dialogue about the failures of capitalist greed and evil white men. Then they can have more extras like the obviously lost Arab family you briefly see at one point.

a reply to: DBCowboy

As far as I was aware, the codename 007 was originally 001 but each agent died on service whilst using the codename so it was retired. Hence theres been six so far so it's now 007.
I was recently wondering however, with the part being played by a female possibly.
The codename explanation doesnt explain away the "James Bond" part if a non-male plays the role.

I don't know of many James' that are female in the UK.

Ah, ive got it! Here's how it will happen...

They can turn James Bond into a transexual going undercover, then he accidentally impregnates a woman who has a still birth. James Bond gets Covid and before he dies, retires. 007 codename is passed to the mother and she calls herself James Bond cause the baby (would have been male) died during the birth/helicopter/train/chernobyl bomb deactivation scene.

Nicely wraps up the whole thing. Won't cause any hassle at all with fans. All is well.

a reply to: ketsuko

I agree. I still haven't seen it but you seem like you have an excellent grasp of modernisation in the editorial department.

Maybe we could quickly write and add a scene where I could leap from a moving horse, swing from a chandelier waving a sword around and rescue some lost peasant farmers from a mean looking man in a fancy suit with a pocket watch on a chain.

Then while zero zero seven isn't looking I could escape by stealing his Aston Martin before crashing it into a tree so he gets a hefty bill from M or Q or someone for all the damage.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: DBCowboy

008 was recuperating in moonraker.
009 was killed in octopussy.

So there ya go

Weren't there several 00s killed in Octopussy?

I think only one was killed.
He was in a clown costume and got a knife in the back dying in an embassy or something like that.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Look, I’m sure James Bond is great. He’s awesome so I’ll grant that caveat.

But why don’t we ever hear about 006 or 005?

It’s all about 007!

And what about 001? My research shows that he’s just a great an agent, but has bad skin from childhood acne and his name is Kevin Tinkle. So he gets NO credit even though he’s saved the world a bunch of times also!

And I really feel sorry for 008, he’s just waiting for a job while fixing paper jams in M’s office printer. Just imagine the boredom while ol’ 007 races off and gets all the glory.

It’s time to start paying attention to the long lost 00 agents who get no acknowledgement from anyone.

Rant over.

I don't know but it could be because having him say "Tinkle, Kevin Tinkle" doesn't sound as debonaire and stylish.

a reply to: DBCowboy

The other 00 agents showing up more would be nice.

I've watched all the Bond movies and my issue with them is how Bond lost his light-hearted wittiness such that the movies themselves stopped being campy. i.e. Bond and Batman both became dark and broody. For Batman, being a dark brooding intellectual works way better than the cheesy wholesome dad Batman from the 60-90s, but with Bond, I don't like him being all dark and stoic and broody and uppity and prissy - I want the campy "male chauvinistic" goofy Bond.

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Look, I’m sure James Bond is great. He’s awesome so I’ll grant that caveat.

But why don’t we ever hear about 006 or 005?

It’s all about 007!

And what about 001? My research shows that he’s just a great an agent, but has bad skin from childhood acne and his name is Kevin Tinkle. So he gets NO credit even though he’s saved the world a bunch of times also!

And I really feel sorry for 008, he’s just waiting for a job while fixing paper jams in M’s office printer. Just imagine the boredom while ol’ 007 races off and gets all the glory.

It’s time to start paying attention to the long lost 00 agents who get no acknowledgement from anyone.

Rant over.

I don't know but it could be because having him say "Tinkle, Kevin Tinkle" doesn't sound as debonaire and stylish.

No. No, it doesn't. It sounds more like something an old man with dementia might say at the home.