I can't take much more

Prayers sent🙏

Thoughts and prayers come from me to you.

Like others on here, I have seen this take my mum and dad.

It is not a good experience. I wish you well in coping with this crap life serves us.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I'm so sorry. It's hell. I lost my mother to cancer also.

It sounds like your mother has lived her life on her terms and in her way and done an awesome job of it.

My prayers are with you all.

Very sad to see this.Dad and my grandparents all passed from cancer,mom's had skin cancers removed numerous times.Awful disease.For what they're worth,prayers for your mom and all your family.

Jag, I want to say I am so sorry to hear this about your mother. I lost my wife to cancer in August. Still so fresh. My wife battled for 7 years. But she was young.

Take all the time you can to be with her. Don't take any time you can have with her for granted.

F- Cancer!!!!!

originally posted by: americanbuffalo1
Jag, I want to say I am so sorry to hear this about your mother. I lost my wife to cancer in August. Still so fresh. My wife battled for 7 years. But she was young.

Take all the time you can to be with her. Don't take any time you can have with her for granted.

F- Cancer!!!!!

Having lost a wife to cancer after a 7 yr. battle, as well...I can add to your advice for JAG from a perspective years after the fact.

You will look back at this time and these days from some time in the future...and regret any time you could've spent any additional time with your loved one while she is fighting cancer...but, for whatever reason didn't.

Make as much time as possible together with her now...make it good time spent together.

You won't regret a single moment you've shared.

a reply to: JAGStorm
Dude, so sorry to hear that. That's awful.

F*ck cancer

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this.

Have you considered any of the things I mentioned?

I don’t see any advantage in fatalism.

Cancer is a fact of life, it’s how you face it that matters.

# 1374

originally posted by: TheWhiteKnight
Have you considered any of the things I mentioned?

I don’t see any advantage in fatalism.

Cancer is a fact of life, it’s how you face it that matters.

# 1374

I didn't see a post from you?
If you have something to share please do.

I know how that goes JAG.. Thats been my life for about two decades

I have no regrets with all the people in my life who have passed. Learned early on that ya gotta treat everything like it will all end in the next moment. Its so easy to take things for granted when its "normal."

Theres a lot that helps me though.. Meditation (not like anything I see taught elsewhere), martial arts (had to create my own), art, and my own personal Magnum Opus thing. Video games & reading too.

When it comes down to it, I think I was blessed with the experiences Ive had and the people who have been in my life. I cherish the little bit that still remains, too.

Its awesome that youve had anyone in your life that knows the "real you"

Send a PM or whatever if you need to talk, Im here for ya.

a reply to: JAGStorm
My best friend passed with pancreatic cancer a few months ago. Very painful to see him go down fast and nothing I could do.
JAGS, please do not be upset with what I'm going to say. I believe death is humans greatest adventure which we all must take and if it helps (like it did me) it will sound silly, sit with your mother and watch a couple of documentaries on near death experiences. It can lighten the load knowing that death is not the end. The only downside is the suffering to get there.
I hope my rambling has not upset you as I know the feeling of uselessness can be overwhelming. Once again I'm very sorry for your situation.

a reply to: crayzeed

It can lighten the load knowing that death is not the end.

I know it is not the end, I really do.
After my FIL passed something happened so significant that no amount of coincidence could explain it.

I was outside. We had had tons of snow. Somehow that day there was a tiny break in the snow. I saw something red in that break.
I pick it up. It was an old Christmas Card. It had a beautiful cardinal on front, hence the red color.
My husband and I always joked that this nosey cardinal in real life was him checking in on us. Every time we saw a cardinal we would say
it was his dad.
Wait..there's more.

This card was written to someone else... BUT was signed "LOVE my father in laws name".
My husband and I were sobbing like babies when we read it. What are the chances of that card
flying into our yard, being seen just when the snow melted, having a symbol we associate with my father in law,
and having it say that????

a reply to: JAGStorm

Hearts out to you Jag.

Been going through it with a few family members over the past few years. I'll spare you the gutwrenching play by play.

All the energy we can muster to you and yours.

a reply to: Serdgiam

When it comes down to it, I think I was blessed with the experiences Ive had and the people who have been in my life. I cherish the little bit that still remains, too.

I mentioned my siblings earlier. They have a lot of unresolved issues. I think it is going to weigh heavily on them. They
are both in complete shock with lots of regrets right now....
They absolutely missed out. I tried to tell them for years that my parents were so funny and interesting as I became an adult and got to know them. My siblings couldn't get over some hardships of childhood, and let their noses spite their face. It is such a shame.

Theres a lot that helps me though.. Meditation

I seriously suck at meditation. I've tried self help videos, books, youtube, etc. So far I'm getting a D- in it.
I'm still trying.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I think that for any of us.. Its so, so easy to get caught up in normal, everyday life that we completely forget its all a transient experience.

Its a rough lesson.. One that is all too easy to ignore until we cant.

For meditation.. A pretty common & good starting point is being aware of your breathing. Many teachings tack a lot on to it beyond that though. What I have always taught is that this awareness 1) takes time, patience, and dedication. The movement between awareness and distraction is part of the process and NOT something to fight against 2) doesnt need to be awareness of any one thing over the other. So, things like "clearing your mind" tend to be more detrimental and frustrating than helpful 3) we are simply becoming aware of what is currently there, anything that goes in a different direction (like clearing the mind) actually ends up getting us wrapped up in our thoughts.

End goal of the practice is to be simultaneously aware of all parts of our own being. We tend to either get wrapped up in the world of our thoughts, or for some, their body. But in this paradigm, we simply let them be, together, and grow our awareness of this existence. Breathing, thoughts, heartbeat, touch, sight, smell, etc. Its normal for one or a couple to have higher percentages of our awareness at any given time too. Most teachings focus on one thing to the exclusion of others though. Ironically, many non-dualistic teachings are more prone to this than others. They build constructs that are only relevant to human neurology under the auspices of the belief those constructs are being torn down. All aspects of that are not particularly helpful to many, but they are very appealing.

Anyway, once that is achieved, we have built a basic foundation for everything else. Its at this point that concepts like "clearing the mind" become more relevant. It still tends to be a result of everything else more than something to pursue on its own. IMO, that last sentence applies to the vast majority of info out there. Most of it is a result rather than the practice/process itself. My general assumption is that this implies many are unfamiliar with the process to get "there" and are speaking of their own ideals & "goals" as if they are the practice/process itself, rather than being derived from actual personal experience.

a reply to: JAGStorm

What do you regret, what do you wish you would have done.?????

Spent more time with her trying to cheer her up amd just being happy with her instead of being sad. Understood better everything that was going on, not just with my mom, but the rest of my family. There was a bunch of things that happened after that made everything worse.

a reply to: dug88

Spent more time with her trying to cheer her up amd just being happy with her instead of being sad. Understood better everything that was going on, not just with my mom, but the rest of my family. There was a bunch of things that happened after that made everything worse.

I just got off the phone with her. I told her my heart ached but let's talk about things we can do.
I tried to be upbeat and my normal self.
We also discussed natural treatments and her mood seemed to be elevated. I told her there is no reason
she can't at least try natural treatments, and conventional ones too. I told her I would send her some stuff
and maybe they would help, maybe not but it wouldn't hurt. She said if I was going to try so hard for her she would
try too. (had to suck the tears in). We come from the most extraordinary family of fighters...If there is anyone that
can fight, it would be the both of us. We may not win, but at least we can say we tried....

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. I hope and pray that she travels the best path possible through this ordeal.

This is a sensitive subject for me. I lost my mom to cancer as well. It was difficult and at times felt like a dream. Like I was going to shake my head clear and everything would be alright again. I wish I could say it worked that way.

Now I have my own cancer to deal with. I had two surgeries several years ago and have been cancer free until now. One more growth spurt and I am back under the knife again.

F**k you cancer!

a reply to: JAGStorm

cancer is one of the hardest things to have to watch someone suffer and die with. we lost my father from it 4 years ago from it. he went quick once we were told what he had, less than a month. we also think that he knew about six to eight months before hand. from the things he did and the way his doctor kept wanting him to come back into the office. he just didn't tell any one.

he was having all kinds of problems before he got to the point that the pain finally made him give in and tell my mom he needed to go to the emergency room. once he went in the hospital it was three weeks before he died.

my heart goes out to ya, and to your mom.