The free controller

A side effect of a controlled mind is the illusion of free will it creates. The idea of being controlled is repressed and becomes subconscious.

I can do whatever I want here where I live yet there remains this tentacle of control in my subconscious mind. I am trapped yet free to go anywhere I want to simply to maintain in the controller the idea of control it thrives on to feel in control.

An invisible controller.

Don't know your controller and the controller can go on freely being in control.

You adapt to the state of control and give power to your masters until eventualy you keep the controller in power yourself.

Sad story bro.

I haven't seen a family member for years yet the stain of his control is on my heart. It never changed and I fuel him.

It's all about feelings really. Superior feelings to the feelings of the victim.

There's a strange way out of this.

I will have made mistakes.

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

Why is this in the religious forum? Sounds like chit chat

Have you seen a Dr yet?

a reply to: TheConstruKctionofLight

Yea, it's psychosis

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

psychosis is a label. You are not a label.

I have read some of your comments. It would not surprize me if some of your chakra's are open. Releasing energy that you are struggling to control. If with your eyesight, you see certain colors more vividly (bluer sky for example) than normal, its also is a sign, The different colors representing different chakra's that are opening.

The mind is the genisis snake. That keeps us from our spirituality. It controls all our actions and keeps most people sleepwalking through life. Spirituality is about wrestling that control from the mind to the I AM/ which is distinct from the mind.

So allow the I AM to watch the mind and its feelings, but not become part of them. Keep your focus in the present (the now) which is where spirituality exists. When the brain takes your focus to past or future, it has control.

a reply to: glend

As a child I saw the blue sky as red sometimes, sometimes more blueish also.

You are the first person bringing that up.

I once had to look at a reflecting card showing all colors to see what color I saw the most. I had to for an aura reader.

I'm fatigued during the day.

I always thought there was an evil eye on me.

It's so slowly evolving and is a real power struggle.
I'm 38 now and can't think of a day I felt alright besides having very short glimpses of what and how I can feel.

It's tormenting.

youtu.be...

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

I haven't seen a family member for years yet the stain of his control is on my heart. It never changed and I fuel him.

This seems like a case of demon possession.

This demon is not a part of the him, it is your idea of him in your own mind. It isn't in contact with him, such as giving information to him or receiving instructions from him.

I don't advocate for casting out demons. The demon itself is made up of your own experiences, some actual, some hyperbolic.

Think of a pearl:

Pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside that injures the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are thus the result of an immune response analogous in the human body to the capture of an antigen by a phagocyte (phagocytosis).[9]

The mollusk's mantle (protective membrane) deposits layers of calcium carbonate (CaCO3) in the form of the mineral aragonite or a mixture of aragonite and calcite (polymorphs with the same chemical formula, but different crystal structures) held together by an organic horn-like compound called conchiolin. The combination of aragonite and conchiolin is called nacre, which makes up mother-of-pearl. The commonly held belief that a grain of sand acts as the irritant is in fact rarely the case. Typical stimuli include organic material, parasites, or even damage that displaces mantle tissue to another part of the mollusk's body. These small particles or organisms gain entry when the shell valves are open for feeding or respiration. In cultured pearls, the irritant is typically an introduced piece of the mantle epithelium, with or without a spherical bead (beaded or beadless cultured pearls).
wikipedia - Pearl#Creation

Once the irritant is partly bound within the pearl material, then go about with your own life, being mindful of what independent life is like and what it could be like. Have you lost anything of real value or can you do just fine without that.

a reply to: pthena

Anything of value lost?

Well, it's getting clearer I might have lost a part of my sanity.

I have people taking care of me and my money.

Thnx for your input and care.

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

After reading your response to Glend, I realize that I totally don't understand the whole situation.

a reply to: pthena

Psychosis meds won't fix the problem, right. I take them because they want me to.

It's probably wrong and harsh of me when I say nobody cares. I just don't see it sometimes, or better said I don't feel it.

I just don't get where I want to but then again I'm full of delusions.

My mind somehow adapted to the situation. The problem is 't solved but.. ehem.. I seem to handle.

Some might disagree though.

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

My worst episodes were usually a result of physical ailments. So I've avoided the necessity for long term medications, even though they have been suggested from time to time.

This one time I was discussing with a doctor whether I should get an injection or try some pills again. The situation was that I had a skin problem that had gone on five months misdiagnosed. The overuse of steroids was really messing with my head.

Right about the time the doctor was starting to talk about psychotic medications available, the nurse walked in and caught just a portion of the conversation. She said, "Oh, yeah. There are these medications that have helped many people."

That's when I became very calm, and in the calmest voice imaginable, explained that I was quite familiar with my own mind and that whatever other people had achieved through use of those medications, I had already achieved through my own adaptation.

The strange thing about that was their reaction. The doctor had scooted her rolling chair as far as she could get away from me, even leaning back as far as she could. And the nurse was cringing in the corner.

So either the doctor and nurse had suffered from a shared hallucination or maybe my calm rational explanation wasn't as calm and rational as I perceived it to be.

Anyway my condition was properly diagnosed about a week later and proper treatment fixed me right up. So I'm alright now.

I don't know if this story helps at all. Hang in there.

starr, but it woudn't take.... was tryin bro

feelings....you are spot on...

the very first thing the evil attacks is guilt....till ya ignore that lie

we are new creatures when we stand against the put down......they throw a put down, huh!!!

guilt is first...I did guilt for 3 years.....for nothing.....

wanted ya to know, bro

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

Turn to me, return to me.
You've made me turn away.

In the end we stand alone together.

since you are my brother...

I state that where I go....you will be there

with me

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

No evil eye on you, quite the oppisite I suspect. However part of our journey is stripping away our ego of desire and those feelings and images can appear evil.

Red is the root Chakra, first to open. Blue is the throat chakra much higher. Faitigue can occur from blocked chakra's. Its worth trying some simple breathing excercises to help clear your channels as described here,

Focus on meditation/prayer. Don't focus on the energies nor anything that results from those energies. You may find yourself hearing thoughts of people around you, as your own thoughts, for example. Don't concern yourself with those or play with them. Just let it all flow through you as part of spirtual awakening. The journey is returning to our normal state of being.

There is ebook called "Life is Binary: The Choice to Live Love or Limitation". that you might like.

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

That's a sad story Out6of9Balance, I think I get what you're saying and your concern. My question has to do with your past - do you remember any case you did give power to some other being, of this world or the spirit one? Is there any past role model in your life that you looked up to? Maybe that person was not a good one.

You talk about a family member that has some form of control over you and that seems to affect you and your life. The only advice I can give is to turn to God and sincerely and humbly ask Him for some help.

PS. I kinda find it hard to concentrate now, so I don't have any other concrete option to offer other than Almighty's help. Unconscious mind control is a sad and very serious story.

a reply to: glend

I see what are energies manifest.

I'm drained to death and I need normal people to talk to to close my body.

Sometimes I just want to go away from a conversation but can 't and they just keep on saying things that have no use and it makes me say things I don't want to say because it unsettles me.

There are a few things I need to work on.

It's like this world is full of parallels and the mainstream one are just angry superficial people with no more care.

a reply to: Out6of9Balance

Your perceptions are absolutely clear. If and when you start reading others peoples thoughts you will find that many people are totally innert inside like zombies, such is their darkness.

Take care of yourself and ride rather than fight the waves.

I got more insight in what's demonic today. In fact everything natural and of the world is demonic. They talk constantly stricking you in their web of reasoning behind the things they say, mocking and pestering.

It's their nature.

Interesting how this is evolving though where will I find a place among humans to rest. Got to grow strong.