America has a parenting problem

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: UpIsNowDown
a reply to: JAGStorm

No you DO have a gun problem, are you suggesting parents in the USA are worse than the UK, Norway, France, Italy, Germany, Canada etc as there are tennagers with angst in ALL these countries, America is choosing to ignore the access to firearms again, dont worry as nothing will change, there will be no gun grab by the gooberment, and this will happen again unfortunatly, but it is a gun issue, anything else is weak excuses as there are more countries than America on the planet with all the same daily trials and none has anywhere near the frequency of attacks.

No we do NOT have a gun problem, we really don't. I'll tell you why.
I've grown up with guns all around. KIDS used to take guns to school, that's right to school. They would bring them and go hunting after. Its has never been about guns. They want us to believe it is about guns. It's not.

www.bbc.com...

Ten charts on the rise of knife crime in England and Wales
This is an 80% increase from the low-point in the year ending March 2014, when there were 23,945 offences, and is the highest number since comparable data was compiled.

some students use to bring guns to school when i was young too.
they would go hunting after school.

Want to know what is really wrong with our kids? It ain't work ethic, it ain't respect. They never got to experience hanging with friends down at the river, levee or gravel pit. Our generation took that away for "safety sake". These kids can't go cruising the town because of heavy handed cops. How are they supposed to blow off steam and learn to take risk if we don't let them?

a reply to: ServiusTull

Agree!

And our government now wants to take away everyone's freedoms for "safety sake" as well. Coupled with crippling us all so they can "take care" of us.

a reply to: Oleandra88

I am just negative amazed.

That might just be the best saying I've read on ATS.. I'm totally stealing it.
Dude, i'm negative amazed. Sounds like the worst insult ever!!
This is most young Americans now!!!

originally posted by: ServiusTull
Want to know what is really wrong with our kids? It ain't work ethic, it ain't respect. They never got to experience hanging with friends down at the river, levee or gravel pit. Our generation took that away for "safety sake". These kids can't go cruising the town because of heavy handed cops. How are they supposed to blow off steam and learn to take risk if we don't let them?

I really agree with this. kids/ especially teens need people, even when they seem like they don't.
They aren't getting enough exercise and sunlight either.

originally posted by: discourse
a reply to: JAGStorm

And there was a time people wore suits everywhere they went. Times change people change.

Off topic, but what a COOL time!!

I wish times were still like that...except in July and August (maybe even September)!!!!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Gotta disagree with the clothing thing.

Men wore suits and women were trapped in dresses. I HATE dresses with a passion! I don't want to be trapped in dresses again. I guess I'd never, ever leave the house.

a reply to: ketsuko

Okay, understood.

I was really speaking about men's fashion, albeit very (heat) hot!

a reply to: ketsuko

Would you settle to agree at the very least that yoga pants should be worn during yoga, not before or after?

originally posted by: drewlander
a reply to: ketsuko

Would you settle to agree at the very least that yoga pants should be worn during yoga, not before or after?

Most skin tight clothing in a tights format should be restricted to working out.

How in the hell did we get onto the subject of Yoga pants????

I LOVE yoga pants...well, sometimes!!

LOL!!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Too many people walking around stuffed into yoga pants like overstuffed sausages these days.

I'm down into a size 6 now and *I* won't wear them.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Too many people walking around stuffed into yoga pants like overstuffed sausages these days.

Hubs and I came to an agreement when it comes to people watching & ogling,

Yoga pants should be banned everywhere, except in MI. The women up here, they earned it, lol.

a reply to: Nyiah

In most areas of the US, that's legally considered child abuse/neglect now and will get you arrested and your kids taken away.

Honestly, I use to think that as well, but its far from the reality. You would be surprised what a parent that doesn't give a F about their kids can get away with in the system. They may get arrested but in the end they will get their kids back and they will likely continue the abuse. The system can't keep up with the amount of children that are abused and they really try to keep the parents with the children even when they shouldn't.

My wife works in the ER and sees it happen again and again with physically abused children.

We even have temporary custody of two children at the moment , while they complete their investigation into the father who got custody after the mother died. Luckily they haven't been physically abused that we know off, but the father is mentally abusive and a complete drunk who is unstable at best.

The crazy thing when they moved in with us they had another friend who got sent to a foster group home.

Its saddening what has happened to the family unit and its not even a primary focus for anyone along with mental issues.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I agree.

First of all I'll admit I haven't seen my two children in 5 years (my daughter is 15 and my son is 11). I suck, I totally realize that. But I gotta say it wasn't within my control exactly. I made a critical mistake and they slipped away and I haven't recovered yet. My xwife just took them one day, I woke up and they were gone. She took all the responsibility into her hands and I don't have the financial resources to challenge that reasonably. I'm crushed by all sorts of problems that were also not within my control and that I couldn't foresee coming.

Thankfully, we haven't ever gone to court over any of this, my xwife doesn't believe in using govt to get her way. Instead I just try to keep in touch and when I do have money, I offer it to her. She never accepts it and says I probably need it more, which is likely true. So I am thankful that she's at least somewhat reasonable about this.

I worry about my children every night, I cry about it, I have nightmares about it. It's traumatizing and devastating. My only saving Grace here is twofold 1) God has been taking care of them which I'll never be more thankful of anything in my life and 2) I raised them every day until their mom took them away and taught them great core values and intellectual skills that have led them to be top students, respectful of others, and to be strong and independent.

I lucked out. But I'm afraid others aren't so lucky. I can understand how tragedies like this occur. We have children before we are mature enough to understand or put in the work to create a lasting healthy marriage. In my case, my xwife and I were both immature, selfish, and too quick to criticize each other over petty things. Flaws like jealousy and anger were allowed to run out of control, as we had not learned how to deal with them yet. This ripped us apart.

Now - about the story I actually wanted to share:

I moved to Colorado last year around this time, and by January I had gotten a job at Comcast and met a woman there I worked with and moved in with her a few weeks later. She lived with her youngest son, who is 16 years old. This kid has never been taught much discipline or respect.

He plays Fortnite all the time and screams at the top of his lungs any time someone shoots him in this game, which is very often lol. At first I laughed about it, but within a few days I was getting pretty annoyed by it. Thankfully his room was down in the basement and depending on where I was in the large house, I often couldn't hear him. I also use headphones a lot or just enjoy the back porch (the view of the mountains there was awesome).

What was the most shocking thing of all for me, was to see how he speaks to his mother. He will scream in her face, threaten her, cuss at her, threaten suicide, etc. This is a regular occurrence if she challenges him or criticizes him in any way.

Why did I not step in and stop him or speak my mind about it? Because it's not my kid. It's not my place or my business to parent this child. If I wanted to continue enjoying the cheap rent and my room in the back, it was best I just kept out of it all and let them handle their business how they see fit. I didn't intervene and if I was nearby when it went down I'd leave the room. I'm not there to get involved in this.

But I was definitely shocked by it. And I have a few ideas of why it is this way. He had no father to discipline him or teach him how to respect women. The men around him (his mom's many boyfriends over the years) were abusive and angry types, or were just simply retarded. This is how he saw men treat his mother, so this is how he treated her too. With anger, threats, screaming, etc.

It was terrible to witness. I also lost a lot of respect for this woman after seeing how her relationship with this kid was, and how she lacked self-respect for herself. I admit, for a few months there I was "in love" with her, but really it was purely lust combined with my own loneliness and desire for companionship that drove that.

This woman had no intellectual interest in me, she had no ability to discuss interesting things, she was almost always focused on her phone playing around on social media engaged in totally mindless pursuits.

I learned something really important from this though, and it's about me and what I deserve. I deserve a woman who is interested in my mind and can hold a great conversation. I deserve a woman that respects herself and desires an adventure. I deserve a woman who can be a real friend and express her emotions openly, even if they are painful, and can sympathize with me when I express mine.

I learned that just because a woman is gorgeous, doesn't really matter much. It doesn't fulfill me. I cannot and never will make me happy. In fact, I was very unhappy with this woman because of these reasons. There's a lot of great things about her but she just isn't for me. I'm thankful that a series of unrelated horrible events took me out of this situation because I was becoming very depressed and lost as the days wore on.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Oleandra88

I am just negative amazed.

That might just be the best saying I've read on ATS.. I'm totally stealing it.
Dude, i'm negative amazed. Sounds like the worst insult ever!!
This is most young Americans now!!!

OMG Hahahaha!!!
Gonna send this to some ppl!

a reply to: muzzleflash

Most men cannot really handle a strong woman. They really can't.

I'm not talking about being a feminazi. I'm talking about a woman that is intelligent,
and will stand up for what she believes, and always stand up for herself.
In fact, some men will even hate her for it.

On the flip side. If a man is very smart, and can suppress his ego for minute. He will realize, this is the kind of woman/partnership that can really take him/them to the top.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I absolutely Love a Strong Woman.

I don't need her to take me to the top though, I just want to be near her and spend time appreciating her endless depths and enjoying her company. Just getting to experience that relationship IS the top. To engage in intelligent conversations and Dream together, to plan out true adventures. We can plot how to save the world together, and stand up for everyone.

Most men are immature and don't understand. They are afraid of other men, get jealous, angry. I'm not afraid of any other man. I know that if I just Love her truly there's nothing to fear at all, she'll know I'm the one and have no interest in any of them.

Where is my Heroine? My Goddess?
I'm just getting older, the clock's ticking, and she's not in my life yet.

It's really difficult but I keep my Faith that God will bring her to me someday soon. I just know it, she's so near. It's my other half. I try not to think about it so much and just remember the time will come.

I'll know it's her because she will be unique and authentic while also matching my creatively romantic nature. She will know I'm her man before she even speaks to me, and I'll know it's her shortly thereafter when she reveals herself.

a reply to: Nyiah

Oh yes, your first block, I agree so so much.
It is trust from parents to kids and other way.
I remember this also, with keeping a word and get or keep freedom of choices.

My little one is 3 and she has many freedoms already. She listened to things about how to use stairs safely after I have seen that she understand some basic things, she was allowed to go play in her room upstairs alone. But she needed to ask and after a time of watching her go up I slowly retracted each time more. Not because I do not care if she falls. She will fall someday and she will need to learn that lesson.

But how I did it I think she is better prepared when she falls someday. I of course go watch her, you know yourself, if it is silent, you know they are blacksmithing a plan.

So she has her independecies and she enjoys them, I do not have to helicopter her with everyday things. She grows to be independent in many things but loving.

Kids want to learn and want to do things alone. We need to let them but watching out for the bigger dangers they can not see themselfes.

And talk, talk, talk. I talk so much with her and I never get sick of answering her questions. If kids repeat the same question over and over we need to find what they try to ask and give the correct answer. Like, "what is this" and you know, the kids knows what it is. But the kid asks "what color/shape/weight/.../... is this".

I have tremendous success speaking with her since the time I know this.

a reply to: Identified

Personally, I don't own a gun. Twenty years carrying one and working in armories was enough for me. I don't even hunt anymore. Not because of politics or ethics. Just burned out on them. Luckily I live in a very secure rural area and have plenty of perimeter security, ground sensors and cameras. Alarm goes off I run for the woods and wait for the cops. Besides, I'm done shooting at humans no matter how sick they may be and would rather get shot between the eyes than explain to a broken justice system why I felt I had to kill. Got a friend that will spend the rest of her life in prison for defending herself. Problem was, her assailant's family were rich and connected. These wackos will keep killing no matter what. Jesus christ, Got one in Baton Rouge Walmart as I type.