How do you get over someone that you love?

I've recently gotten out of a relationship. I love this woman more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. She was my entire world, every part of it. I really believed we would spend the rest of our lives together, have kids, everything. She was all I ever wanted and then some. And now its over.

I haven't eaten since Monday, haven't slept since then, and I'm a wreck. Physically and emotionally. I couldn't tell you which way is up or down. She's the only thing I can think about, and no matter what I do I can't stop that. We genuinely had a soul to soul connection, and that is such a rare thing to find. How is someone supposed to start getting over something like this? My instinct is to drink, but I realize that will probably only make things worse. And the last thing I need to do is send her some crazy drunk messages.

I dont know. I've been in love before but it was never like this. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her, and now it feels like my world is completely broken in half.

I feel like there is no future or hope for anything at this point. She was my light at the end of the tunnel, and now it's gone. How do you even begin to start letting go of someone that means that much?

a reply to: underwerks

There are 2 cures to this condition.

Time and finding another girl.

Honestly you don't.... I know it is a cliche but time does heal all wounds... to a degree....

What you do not want to do is what I did... drink....

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: underwerks

There are 2 cures to this condition.

Time and finding another girl.

That's true I guess. I can't even think about wanting to see someone else right now, but maybe that will change with time.

Stay busy get out and do stuff, don't dwell on it 24/7 and yea I wouldn't drink either.

But do get out there and be seen, you will find somebody and they will probably be better for you.

Its a grieving process.....of which there are many stages

SHOCK & DENIAL
PAIN & GUILT
ANGER & BARGAINING
DEPRESSION REFLECTION, LONELINESS
THE UPWARD TURN
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

Those are the currently accepted stages of grief. You can't rush them, you can't really fight them you just have to get through them. A broken relationship is very similar to a death and the way we react is also very similar.
Allow yourself to grieve and at a certain point, there is a flicker of light & hope and you come through it all before you know it. The pain gets less, thoughts get easier and you can say his/her name without tears

a reply to: underwerks

Time. I have been fortunate enough that the first "love of my life" stayed around long enough for me to also hate her. So letting go was alot less painful.

Here is a song for you - hope you like it:

originally posted by: tinner07
Honestly you don't.... I know it is a cliche but time does heal all wounds... to a degree....

What you do not want to do is what I did... drink....

Thanks for the reply. I think there's truth in what you said.

Against my better judgment and your advice, I just took a shot. I'm hoping this doesn't go sideways in about 5 hours.

a reply to: underwerks


Ummm...awe...puppy love...how cunnin...I kinda thought you were a teenager...

Time wounds all heals...and heels...







YouSir

a reply to: tinner07

Just focus on yourself... you gotta eat man.... relax and deep breaths... and realize that the sun will still come up tomorrow...

15 years, 2 kids.... she left me for another guy... I ended up in jail for DUI.... that was 20 years ago... she has broken up with all her "boyfriends"... lives at her sisters house... I am happily married and 16 months away from 32 years of my union pension...

It is not the end of the world...

One other small bit of advice, I think Tom Robbins said, "what you focus on is what controls you." Try to change your focus as much as you can.

a reply to: Fools

Time. I have been fortunate enough that the first "love of my life" stayed around long enough for me to also hate her. So letting go was alot less painful.

Honestly I kind of wish it had ended that way. It would have been a lot easier.

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: underwerks

There are 2 cures to this condition.

Time and finding another girl.

You're half right...
Time and Distance...

I had an Epiphany and found peace with myself. Single and perfectly HAPPY since 2005.

originally posted by: PhyllidaDavenport
Its a grieving process.....of which there are many stages

SHOCK & DENIAL
PAIN & GUILT
ANGER & BARGAINING
DEPRESSION REFLECTION, LONELINESS
THE UPWARD TURN
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

Those are the currently accepted stages of grief. You can't rush them, you can't really fight them you just have to get through them. A broken relationship is very similar to a death and the way we react is also very similar.
Allow yourself to grieve and at a certain point, there is a flicker of light & hope and you come through it all before you know it. The pain gets less, thoughts get easier and you can say his/her name without tears

Thanks. Seeing it all typed out like that helps me see where I'm at and what to expect. That makes it a little better.

And thanks to everyone else for your responses. Internet strangers are more kind than the people I know in real life.

How do you get over someone that you love?

1. lots of alcohol.
2. Lots of strip clubs.
3. Lots of time.

Truth is.

One really never gets over it.

a reply to: underwerks

Against my better judgment and your advice, I just took a shot. I'm hoping this doesn't go sideways in about 5 hours.

Just try not to drive....

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: Fools

Time. I have been fortunate enough that the first "love of my life" stayed around long enough for me to also hate her. So letting go was alot less painful.

Honestly I kind of wish it had ended that way. It would have been a lot easier.

Well when you rather drink with the boys almost every night bitching about her, you sort of come to a realization. Also her yelling at me everytime I saw her or arguing about nothing forever and ever was kind of tiring. Same as you, I eventually got with something much better. Of course we all say that dont we? HEH.

I mean my first love didn't do so bad for herself, just found a man that could be lorded over is all. That is what she wanted really. She did however do a number on my oldest son (only had him with her). He is a mess. And she has disowned him when he needs them. It's weird, but I mean that's the kind of thing she was capable of. I mean it isn't as if the kid is Charles Manson. Just made a bunch of mistakes. Is trying to change (not hard enough I admit)...but just to totally shut off like that - to your own blood. Hard thing for me to understand.

Some of you ladies out there are just hard hearted.

originally posted by: underwerks

originally posted by: PhyllidaDavenport
Its a grieving process.....of which there are many stages

SHOCK & DENIAL
PAIN & GUILT
ANGER & BARGAINING
DEPRESSION REFLECTION, LONELINESS
THE UPWARD TURN
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

Those are the currently accepted stages of grief. You can't rush them, you can't really fight them you just have to get through them. A broken relationship is very similar to a death and the way we react is also very similar.
Allow yourself to grieve and at a certain point, there is a flicker of light & hope and you come through it all before you know it. The pain gets less, thoughts get easier and you can say his/her name without tears

Thanks. Seeing it all typed out like that helps me see where I'm at and what to expect. That makes it a little better.

And thanks to everyone else for your responses. Internet strangers are more kind than the people I know in real life.

There is a whole book on that. Some lady from the 1970's? Judith something or other I think. I read that book back in college and it really is helpful. Helped me with my father passing away.

I have to agree.... Time. It sucks. It seems the pain will never go away. But you will wake up one day, and it will be easier. Take up a new hobby, that will help your mind, even if only for 5 minutes at a time at first.

Oh, and if your going to drink, Take the battery out of your phone. At least shut it off and put it somewhere out of reach.

originally posted by: Bigburgh

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: underwerks

There are 2 cures to this condition.

Time and finding another girl.

You're half right...
Time and Distance...

I had an Epiphany and found peace with myself. Single and perfectly HAPPY since 2005.

That's true, but every other time I've been in a similar situation I've moved thousands of miles away. Maybe that isn't the solution this time. Maybe it is. I dont know.

All I know is that I'm tired of running