Why do people ask for advice and not take it?

I am genuinely curious.

I've had this happen so many times recently.
Someone asked me about a recipe. I've made this dish numerous times.
I made it very clear to the person whatever you do, DO NOT use glass, it will explode.

It is like candy making, you pour holt molten sugar into a dish. What do you think happens when you pour hot molten sugar in glass.
Well, at least most smart people can guess what happens.
Anyhow, now this person wants to use glass. A part of me is like, whatever enjoy the shards in your body, but of course the nice side of me doesn't want anyone to get hurt so I tell them again, don't use glass. (I had a friend growing up that got a shard of glass in his eye from doing something similar)

I gave that recent example, but I can think of numerous other examples. It is so frustrating. I'd rather people not even ask if they are going to just
do what they are going to do.

I'm pretty good about listening to people if they know more about a topic than I do. If someone says don't put that additive in with your gasoline, I'm going to listen because I am not well versed on cars etc.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like you may be dealing with askholes.

originally posted by: JinMI
a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like you may be dealing with askholes.

I have never heard of that, but yes I think that is what the disease is called!!!

I run with scissors
It’s life on the edge

That is child-like behavior.

It's actually okay to do something stupid or make a mistake. That's how we all gain experience.

It becomes a problem when a person cannot harness the power of Tha Lurning Kerv and repeatedly makes the same mistake(s). That is either stubbornness or true stupidity.

It's like watching the instant replay and expecting a different outcome.

a reply to: TheTruthRocks

It's actually okay to do something stupid or make a mistake. That's how we all gain experience.

So the weird thing about this person is that she didn't know how to make this recipe, so she had no starting point.
Wouldn't you think someone like that would listen?
If I read a recipe and it says do not use metal (sometimes because it reacts to ingredients) I don't use metal.
I assume there is a good reason for it.

I like to think it is just because people are hard headed or dense, but this seems to be happening a lot lately.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Hopefully they end up listening to you, learning from other people’s mistakes is best.

But if they use the glass and it explodes, I’d definitely be saying “told you so”.

I’m hoping they don’t have kids or pets that might get into the glass bits 😕 once that happens

a reply to: JAGStorm

What's funny is that my step-dad used to ask me this. I would always ask him for his advice on matters, because I value his judgement and life experience. I always like having a different perspective before I make a big decision. It's something to consider and weigh against my own instincts. Sometimes I would take his advice but mostly I would consider it, and couple his advice with the advice of others and make the decision based on several viewpoints.

A few years ago, he approached me and told me that he finally understood and he was appreciative of the fact that I would consider viewpoints different than mine, even if it irked him and made him feel like he was wasting his time in talking to me/giving out free advice.

The point being I asked advice and considered it but didn't follow that advice to the letter.

Now to the OP: I don't know anything about making candy. Molten sugar sounds to me like hot lava and I want no part of it in my kitchen. If the advisee didn't take your advice, it's probably because you didn't stress how important a safety issue this is...or maybe you did and this person has a death wish, or a desire to inflict bodily harm upon someone. Either way, I would steer clear of any cooking advice that this person asks you.

This is one I never understood

People are not obligated to follow the advice given.

Why do people ask for advice and not take it?

Because it's freely given.

Start charging and they won't ask.

Problem solved~!

originally posted by: TinySickTears
This is one I never understood

People are not obligated to follow the advice given.

No they aren't but they would be smart to in cases like I gave.

If someone asks me about wearing red or blue pants, that is one thing.
When we are talking about something that is an extreme safety risk, is there even a question?
It would also be different if she were asking someone that didn't have much experience.


kelbtalfenek- wondered if I stressed the importance of safety. I literally told this person if they did it the glass would explode and shatter everywhere. If someone very knowledgeable about burns told you not to pour boiling water on yourself because it would be very painful, would you go ask someone else? That is the crazy part to me.


Edit to add: I bet first responders wonder about this kind of stuff all the time, child seats, seatbelt use, helmets, fire alarms.. that must be a frustrating job.

a reply to: JAGStorm

After you told them did they do it or just ask someone else?
Are you pissed because they wanted a second opinion?

originally posted by: Itisnowagain
a reply to: JAGStorm

After you told them did they do it or just ask someone else?
Are you pissed because they wanted a second opinion?

No they didn't want a second opinion, they just wanted to use glass, and for me
to somehow change the laws of nature/science on how extreme heat works on glass!
I told this person 2x, we'll see if they truly listen or if there will be a trip to the emergency room.
There are some people you really can't save.


But in another case, someone asked for my opinion, didn't listen, risked their life and
learned a very expensive scary lesson. I never said "I told you so", but I did shake my head

Opositional defiance disorder, I put up with that with my daughter and granddaughter a lot. If I tell them not to do something, they usually do it. My wife is also like that sometimes, they think they can do something I can't do. I remember when I was a kid, I jumped off a slide with a parachute starter shoot, throwing it up in the air. I came down like a brick, the shoot did nothing. My friends said I did it wrong, they grabbed the shute and fell to the ground, all three of us were hurt that day. Now that attitude prevails in our society, with people cheering stupidity on. Like the lady who swam a few times to Cuba...or should I say tried to swim to cuba.

Women are worse than this than guys I think, guys tend to make mistakes and get hurt and learn from the mistakes, but women tend to get incentive from this, especially with recipes, they design recipes that taste good but make people susceptible to diseases and metabolic issues. That liberal attitude usually kills off us husbands because we work harder and eat more.

My wife sees my genetics profile and says she is better than I am genetically because she can eat more foods I can't eat. Yet I can eat lots of things she can't and won't eat, but she says she does not like them anyway. The thing is I have her genetic profile and I can see that her eating foods her parents would never eat much of is killing her health and causing her symptoms which she says is not important, yet the symptoms are conditions that will eventually put her in a nursing home. I take no meds, she takes three and those meds do not even address the symptoms, she hides those symptoms from the doctors. Oppositional defiance is strong in her, If I tell her she shouldn't eat something, she goes out and buys a whole lot of it then she is at the doctors. I had two wives, they were both that way, They will only eat what they want to eat, both are on medicines and continue eating the foods they like, not healthy foods.

a reply to: rickymouse

I would love to have seen three guys jumping off the slide with the "parachute".

That would go viral on youtube these days!

Women are worse than this than guys I think

I agree, but I think men are more likely to die from their defiance and women are more likely to get hurt / disfigured.
It's like all those botched shows. Everyone tells a woman she looks pretty/fine but then she gets her lips injected and looks horrible and wonders why.

a reply to: rickymouse

Do you have a son or grandson?

Your post started good but quickly became rather sexist lol.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: rickymouse

I would love to have seen three guys jumping off the slide with the "parachute".

That would go viral on youtube these days!

Women are worse than this than guys I think

I agree, but I think men are more likely to die from their defiance and women are more likely to get hurt / disfigured.
It's like all those botched shows. Everyone tells a woman she looks pretty/fine but then she gets her lips injected and looks horrible and wonders why.

Yeah, you are right, guys tend to get badly hurt and women tend to wind up with health issues and need to take pills.

a reply to: JinMI

my daughters dutch father in law asked me if you can fix a plastic water tank i told him yes you can get it welded a couple of days later he asked a mate of mine the same question and the same answer then he asked a plumber doing a job for me the same question and got the same answer now if he asks me any thing i shrug and tell him i don't know pisses you off by the way he ended up getting it welded by the plumber

originally posted by: JAGStorm

kelbtalfenek- wondered if I stressed the importance of safety. I literally told this person if they did it the glass would explode and shatter everywhere. If someone very knowledgeable about burns told you not to pour boiling water on yourself because it would be very painful, would you go ask someone else? That is the crazy part to me.

Then the advisee is an idiot and like I said

this person has a death wish, or a desire to inflict bodily harm upon someone. Either way, I would steer clear of any cooking advice that this person asks you.

a reply to: JAGStorm

What recipe is it that you gave your friend.......... what was it to make?