After a three year battle with cancer, my dad has passed away

One of my best buds, my Dad, died on the morning of the 16th, the same day his father passed 43 years ago.

When first diagnosed in early 2016, he was given a maximum of 6 months. He basically said "well f*** that" and he continued to work his butt off for the landscaping business he and his brother built.

The man was a trooper. I would drop him off to get treatments at lunchtime, then we'd go back to work afterwards. I can only hope to have that sort of work ethic as I age.

Eventually, the cancer caught up with him. It got to the point that my brother and I could not properly care for him. Any time we attempted to move him he was in excruciating pain and we didn't know what to do. The morphine that hospice gave us didn't seem to even touch his pain, and we were administering it liberally.

It got to the point that we had to arrange an ambulance to transport him to the hospital. Two EMT and a police officer showed up. My dad, bullheaded as he is, yelled at the EMT guys in a mumbled and unintelligible voice, however, the message was clear, he didn't want to go to the hospital (who does?).

EMT dude advices one of us to talk to him and explain the situation. I sit on his bed and basically say (best I can, choking back tears) that brother and I can't give him the care he deserves and needs, that I know the hospital sucks, but you'll be more comfortable there. He gave a groan that I intreperted as `ok`.

Then they moved him from his bedroom to downstairs. I'll never forget the screams. It sounded like someone was being tortured while they moved him. The strongest man I've ever known, hearing him cry out in pain like that..... No words.That was the last thing he did consciously , as far as I know.

We got to the hospital 5min after the ambulance and he was totally OUT. Over the next 36 hours family and friends visited. The hospital seemed to have him comfortable on a nice firm bed and medication drip.

His breathing slowly faded early Sunday morning the 16th, which was his goal to make. He's always said death won't be so bad because he'll get to see his dad again. Hopefully they're having an ice cold brew right now in whatever place comes after this life.

a reply to: seaswine

I am sorry for your loss!


Hope you and your family can stay strong in this hard time!

a reply to: seaswine

my condolences brother...

a reply to: seaswine

Condolences to you.

a reply to: seaswine

Sorry to read of your loss seaswine , lost my mother to Cancer in the 90's so I know something of the journey you've been on , be strong he will always be with you.

May he Rest in Peace.

a reply to: seaswine

I am afraid I can offer you very little comfort, only that... Having been through this experience myself with a family member... It will get easier eventually and although you will never 'get over it', you will learn to live with it.

Condolences

On the upside he is released from the pain
Kinda think the doctors eased his long term suffering and that was a nice thing

Growing old is the hardest thing a person has to do i was told
Hope I don’t live to a ripe old age

a reply to: seaswine

My heart breaks for you Seaswine. I lost both my Parents and know the pain and sorrow of that loss. Your Dad is free of pain and suffering and is in a better place now. Wishing you and your family strength and courage with love.

a reply to: seaswine

My heart breaks for you Seaswine. I lost both my Parents and know the pain and sorrow of that loss. Your Dad is free of pain and suffering and is in a better place now. Wishing you and your family strength and courage with love.

a reply to: seaswine

My heart breaks for you Seaswine. I lost both my Parents and know the pain and sorrow of that loss. Your Dad is free of pain and suffering and is in a better place now. Wishing you and your family strength and courage with love.

a reply to: seaswine

Your Dad will be kept alive in memories and in your heart.
He is watching over you now.

a reply to: seaswine

My heart breaks for you Seaswine. I lost both my Parents and know the pain and sorrow of that loss. Your Dad is free of pain and suffering and is in a better place now. Wishing you and your family strength and courage with love.

a reply to: seaswine

My heart breaks for you Seaswine. I lost both my Parents and know the pain and sorrow of that loss. Your Dad is free of pain and suffering and is in a better place now. Wishing you and your family strength and courage with love.

I am sorry for your loss. Feb 12th will be 3 years since I lost my Dad to cancer. He also passed the same day as his father.

Hope the next few days can bring you comfort in knowing you were a great son to a great Dad. So sorry for these hard days. This truly is the worst of it. Thinking of you. The good memories are the ones that will last.

a reply to: seaswine

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been down a similar road with family, I just haven't reached the end yet.

Anytime you get sad, just remember his pain is gone.

You're still carrying part of him in you, literally, spirutualy and mentally.

a reply to: seaswine

I felt every word of your post. My sincere condolences.

Been there and done that.

11 years ago my father passed away in 8 months from Pancreatic Cancer at the age of 52. Cancer is the great equalizer in life. It takes it's pound of flesh from everyone involved with it. Emotionally, mentally, financially and physically.

Not going to offer any of the cliches people gave me when dealing with my father's end. I'll just say it gets better or maybe more distant over time and if you need to vent we are here.

So sorry for your loss

I read every bit too, lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer 3 years ago after a 2 plus year battle. Was with him daily and it is hard to resolve the pain he had to endure still.

Thank you all so much for the kind words. I hated to even post the story because of its sad nature, but I had to to get some weight off of my chest.

You all are the best kind of internet strangers. Again, thank you all.