What is masculinity in modern America?

originally posted by: BiffWellington

originally posted by: toysforadults


1. Having the courage to express yourself truthfully and individually. You need to be willing to assert your personal truth as well as what you see as objective truth. If you are a man and you base your personality on how others perceive you and not how you see yourself you lack courage and individuality.

2. Being willing to stand for something that may not be popular but is principled (can be subjective).

3. Being physically capable of self defense of you and your family and willing to act in the face of danger (but only in defense).

4. Standing up for those weaker than you.

5. Challenging the status quo.

6. Self actualizing and realizing potential and asserting that potential in a meaningful way.

7. Being part of a tribe or family in a positive way not as a leech.

8. Offering a helping hand.

How are any of these "masculine"? You don't think all of these apply to women 100% as much as they apply to men? They seem like human virtues to me, not necessarily masculine or feminine.

Quoted for Truth.

I read the list also and without being modest I am all those things.

I also don't have a penis.

So I don't see the list as masculine as much as a decent definition of a responsible self-reliant human being.

originally posted by: SummerRain

originally posted by: tinner07
a reply to: SummerRain

No toilet breaks?

I'm a union sheet metal worker... We piss when we need to. We have coffee and lunch breaks

I used to do IT for an educational automotive college.

You don't know the meaning of dangerous work...

I once got a paper cut.

It stung.

a reply to: toysforadults

Hair on chest.

This used to be an easy question to answer. Not any more.

Being masculine, manly, is more than just being male. Its not about who is the toughest, or the loudest, or the strongest. Its sitting there quietly while some jerk tries to embarrass you. You know you could wipe the floor with him, but you don't. Hes just a jerk. Until he turns his comments to your wife. Then you assist him in re-aligning his jaw in such a manner that prevents him from making additional remarks that may cause him even greater skeletal manipulation.

Its doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. Its helping a child or an older person and not expecting a reward or even a thank you. Its protecting those who can not protect themselves. Its taking responsibility. Its putting your life on the line for the people you love or for the country you love.

Its not about fathering children. Its about being a father.

a reply to: Lumenari

The message may resonate with both sexes but in today's world of lost identities I feel like it is a powerful way for me to have a defined set of principles and an exact blueprint for me to achieve greater forms of self

a reply to: Vroomfondel

You know you could wipe the floor with him, but you don't. Hes just a jerk.

Interesting point. Seeing clearly through the ego response. It's almost like you would empathize with the projection of the other and rather than react allow them to express their own anger they may feel at whatever it is that's affecting their lives and realizing that it's not about you, but them.

Its protecting those who can not protect themselves. Its taking responsibility. Its putting your life on the line for the people you love or for the country you love.

I agree. Having defined principles becomes more important every year. Measuring yourself by those principles and not by how others see you.

a reply to: acackohfcc

Just showing the two views. I agree with the old man.

originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: SummerRain

originally posted by: tinner07
a reply to: SummerRain

No toilet breaks?

I'm a union sheet metal worker... We piss when we need to. We have coffee and lunch breaks

I used to do IT for an educational automotive college.

You don't know the meaning of dangerous work...

I once got a paper cut.

It stung.

I bet you blamed the poor unsuspecting IT guy as he waltzed into your office, smiling at the joys of a new day, whistling happy tunes of wonderment, and attacked him in a mob crushing his poor misguided trustworthy demeanour, with accusations of "You bloody IT idiots, the paper you provided is TOO SHARP!"



It's a jungle out there...

(eta: I wondered why trustworthy had squiggles under it.. not trustyworthy... yeesh!)

originally posted by: carewemust
a reply to: toysforadults

Hair on chest.

So feminists are real men now?



*runs from the feminists*

a reply to: tinner07

I said it wasn't perfect, but it was a place to start.

When people are talking toxic masculinity and pointing at men, they are thinking dude-bro like that guy and then they want to think every man is like that.

And then they think all little boys who act like little boys or play contact sports or who run around playing cowboys and indians or similar with play guns will automatically grow up like that. The truth is they'll grow up different, more like Owen, more like the guys all of us know who can be strong when they need to and who do masculine, manly things but who aren't going to go off the deep end and get all rapey or ridiculous because that's not what men do.

I think Masculinity is figured in how good you can play violent interactive war video games. It used to be how you played sports or if you could stay on a bronco or bull or how you could waterski. Even weight lifting was used. Now Yoga is becoming the choice of sport for masculinity or how good your fitbit is can raise your masculinity score.

I tend to look at questions of masculinity and femininity as applicable to everyone, of either sex.
They are two different poles of being that we all have in us.
Ideally, I'd like to develop each of those in myself, in it's highest form possible (and would like to meet a man who is motivated in that direction too).

When people have one side hyper developed and not the other, you get two potential effects -
- codependant relationships. Your other side needs to be then projected onto someone else, to act as your "other half".
- extremes which become destructive rather than creative. Healthy self assertion becomes tyranny, compassion becomes martyrism, sensuality becomes addiction, intellectual force becomes lack of contact with emotions....


I used to feel that the projection of our other half onto another was the natural way of all love relationships. Now I have seen the negative and destructive effects that can have and am not so supportive of it anymore. It makes detaching from each other a horrible and painful process too.

I would imagine Pheromones would have something to do with it.

I'm not a scientist so speculation is the best I can offer.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
Apparently it's something to be feared and beaten out of young generations.
Honestly I think it's a feminist plot to weaken men so women will appear stronger.

They don't understand that they were already strong just in different ways.

A 'feminist plot' has nothing to do with the average female in the street.
Real women (not what appears in the media) are not wanting to appear stronger.
I see this as just another 'divide and conquer' technique.

The word 'feminism' produces war like feelings to emerge...............men turn against women because they have been told that women are turning against them.
Humans should love thyself and thy neighbour ..................no matter what sex or colour or creed.
It is no different than false flags.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

I guess you haven't heard of the Amazonians? I believe Men turn against Women because they feel threatened.

news.nationalgeographic.com...

Archaeology shows that these fierce women also smoked pot, got tattoos, killed—and loved—men.

news.nationalgeographic.com...

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: seeker1963

for sure, total emasculation.. no one willing to fight back

That's because there is really no fight to be fought just acceptance of one's true human nature not dictated by a past dysfunctional programming.

originally posted by: SummerRain

originally posted by: carewemust
a reply to: toysforadults

Hair on chest.

So feminists are real men now?

*runs from the feminists*

Yes, you see the feminists can perform magic too and make people do things against their will.

originally posted by: BotheLumberJack
a reply to: Itisnowagain

I guess you haven't heard of the Amazonians? I believe Men turn against Women because they feel threatened.

Ok.................but do you wake up in that reality?
Living life full of 'what is happening somewhere else, somewhen else'.............just separates you from what is real.
And then you can be controlled and manipulated into believing stuff is happening....when it is not.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

Meaning what exactly?

a reply to: BotheLumberJack

Do you feel threatened by women?
You have refereed to what happens in the Amazon but bring it back to where you are.