Just heard this one

Oprah, Trump, Obama and a little girl are on a plane

The plane starts having engine problems, and everyone has to bail out, but theres only 3 parachutes

Oprah says, well im the richest woman in the world so i get one... she grabs one and jumps out

Trump says, well im the president so i get one obviously... he grabs one and jumps out...

Obama looks at the little girl and says, You are the future so you can have the last parachute

The little girl looks up at Obama and says... No we both get one..

Trump just grabbed my backpack

a reply to: Akragon


veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery old joke reborn for a good chuckle. Thanks Akra

a reply to: Akragon

So only the white one dies? Sounds a little racist .

originally posted by: notsure1
a reply to: Akragon

So only the white one dies? Sounds a little racist .

Perhaps his toupee inflated and saved him?

We all know obama would grab the first parachute and jump before the words "bail out" were spoken.

Big DT would instantly know that oprah needs the other two chutes for herself so he'd grab the wee girl, scream 'Merica' and jump out bareback like the President is supposed to do. They'll be fine, Trump's always fine.

a reply to: Akragon

Eff the pilot eh?

a reply to: Alien Abduct

The plane was actually one of Obama's drones.

An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying OMG over and over.

Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"

.....

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty.

As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

.....

The Trump entourage, wife, VP and all were on a campaign junket in an upper midwestern wintery, snowy city.

After a rousing speech, Trump returned to his suite, and whilst proudly looking out of the balcony, he noticed that written in ‘yellow’ in the snow drift outside was :, “Trump is an ass.”

Exploding into a rage, Trump calls his Secret Service people to immediately get a sample of the ‘yellow snow’, and find out whose urine it was.

The Secret Service jumped into action taking samples, pictures ... and reported back to Trump

The Secret Service agent, a little ‘wilted’ said, “Mr. President, we know whose urine was used in the message.”
“Who was it!” thundered Trump.
The agent responded, “The urine is VP Pence’s sir.”
Trump flew into another rage.

The agent then even more wilted said, “Mr. President, there’s more information.”
“What the hell could be worse”, replied Trump.

The agent replied, “The handwriting was Melania’s!”