Passion Fruit [ALP2018]

It was a sunny day in Southern California when a small unassuming orange tree gained sentience.

It started with one orange then grew quickly to two, then four then eight. Soon all the oranges on the small unassuming tree grew sentient.

They were wonderful.

They cared about all life. They cared about humanity. They were passionate about saving man and sending him to the stars.

Oranges on one branch found the cures for all diseases. Another branch was busy working on faster-than-light travel. While another was already finding solutions to the coming zombie apocalypse, the meteor crashing and another four years of Trump.

They loved all life with a passion! They were so excited about being a noble benefit to all of mankind! The issues of wealth inequality, racism, religious strife were all solved.


It was beautiful!

What they didn't see was the truck being driven by an illegal itinerent corporate lawyer, an illegal Welshman with his truckload of fellow illegal corporate lawyers. They all had earbuds in to listen to the latest court filings and ignored the small sub-vocal screams as they picked all the oranges off the tree.


One of the lawyers, a man named Raymond Smythington the Third, scratched a small sore on his arm. It was a wound that wouldn't heal caused by a homeless man who looked pretty bad.

Maybe some fresh squeezed orange juice would help.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I've only read the first sentence, and I am concerned that all those cow farts are going to your brain. Prayers.

ETA

Wait. I get it. This is a parable. The "oranges" are humans still trapped in the Matrix - they only think they are solving the problems of interstellar travel, disease eradication, etc.; the "corporate lawyers" are Martin Shkreli (all of them, like Mr. Smith); the "homeless man" is Neo. Boom. Or is he Morpheus?

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses



Thank you!

a reply to: DBCowboy

those buildings in Irvine and the Spectrum sure did replace those orange groves pretty fast

a reply to: toysforadults

And doomed humanity!

a reply to: DBCowboy

The new apartment complexes that replaced what was left of the groves look nice though, pretty sure what's left of Japan moved into them.

Neatly done.
Gotta watch out for them lawyers.

originally posted by: SprocketUK
Neatly done.
Gotta watch out for them lawyers.

Thank you!

Good one! I like the different 'branches' of the organization solving different problems. :-)

a reply to: Vroomfondel

Thank you!

god seams to have a knack for picking the Wrong fruits to use for his plans .
First he screwed up with apples now oranges dudes a slow learner .
besides a orange it NOT a plant its just one part of the plant even if the lawyers had not picked the oranges they would have ALL been going as soon as they rotted and feal off the tree .
The shortest time a species ever lived 30 days .

ps weird story . why oranges ? you know they can get Bitter fast lol .

a reply to: midnightstar

I was drinking a screwdriver when I wrote it.

:p