Is marriage the last legal form of slavery?

originally posted by: Nickn3
I have been married to same woman for 41 year. There have been many up and downs that go with the physical changes of natural aging. Yet neither of us feel like slaves. Recently my wife and I had to spend time apart due work.. I missed her terribly. She is not my slave but she is my best friend.

When married couples face opsticles like loosing interest in each other, sexual or otherwise, they feel compelled to keep together because of societal and/or religious pressure. A free man or woman would just leave.

-MM

No one owns another person,married or otherwise.One can leave a relationship at any time,as the high divorce rate shows.Doesn't mean one's a slave either lol.I don't do chores if i don't feel like it,my hubby pays for a cleaning lady 3 times a week anyway.If i don't feel like cooking,he's supercool about that,happily accepting toasted sarmies.Sometimes he even feels like cooking.Depends Who you marry,i guess?

originally posted by: Raxoxane
No one owns another person,married or otherwise.One can leave a relationship at any time,as the high divorce rate shows.Doesn't mean one's a slave either lol.I don't do chores if i don't feel like it,my hubby pays for a cleaning lady 3 times a week anyway.If i don't feel like cooking,he's supercool about that,happily accepting toasted sarmies.Sometimes he even feels like cooking.Depends Who you marry,i guess?

You sound like such a free and independent woman - I guess that you could just tell your husband that "I'm going on a sailboat around the world - bye, see ya in a year!". Or?

-MM

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation

originally posted by: Nickn3
I have been married to same woman for 41 year. There have been many up and downs that go with the physical changes of natural aging. Yet neither of us feel like slaves. Recently my wife and I had to spend time apart due work.. I missed her terribly. She is not my slave but she is my best friend.

When married couples face opsticles like loosing interest in each other, sexual or otherwise, they feel compelled to keep together because of societal and/or religious pressure. A free man or woman would just leave.

-MM

I suppose we simply found a way around boredom. We each have hobbies, some we share, some we don't. But we do support each other's interest. Example, My wife isn't interested in ATS and I am a voracious reader.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

Oh good, another non conformist. Theres this 'formula' for life they ingrain into everyone, very few people question the formula, only feeling complete if they follow it , doing what they are told.

Thank goodness I never measure up.

Keeping up with the Joneses asf.

-MM

A French woman took her husband to court for breach of marriage contract and won. The complaint? Lack of sex. She received 10,000 euros as damages. True story.

We marry because we like the comfort and safety of companionship and the reliability of safe sex. Additionally, most "couples" do eventually have children and it is healthy to have two committed parents.

All relationships ebb and flow. Heck, half of the US marriages divorce but the parenting many times can continue peacefully because we care and love our children.

The legalities in our country make marriage convenient for insurance, child-rearing, health decisions, etc.

Emotionally, many choose marriage because they enjoy each other and the idea of that person will always being there for the ups and downs of life.

Sounds like you have chosen to be a loner and that's okay. As you grow older, without your own family, you may change your mind; maybe not.

Isn't it nice you have a choice? You arn't alone in your decision-just in the minority.

Marriage isn't slavery because you can get divorced any time you want. Maybe in some countries it is a form of slavery, I wouldn't know. If an Egyptian pyramid slave could have left whenever he wanted then I wouldn't have called him a slave, just a volunteer worker I guess.

What is freedom? I've never been married, but I imagine many people want to go into that cage. What's the point of having a bunch of options if you only want to choose one anyway.

a reply to: Cutepants

There are many ways of being caged; societal pressure to get married and stay married no matter what, is not to be underestimated.

-MM

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
a reply to: Plotus

I don't buy that - what does it even mean "union of body and soul".

-MM

If you had ever really found the right person, you wouldn't have to ask. Been married for 20+ years and never once felt like I was anyone's slave. I just felt more completely myself.

Marriage can be a great thing if both partners are compatible and loyal to each other, the problem is most guys feel like they have won the lotto when the first woman he crosses finds him attractive for his looks or money and there's nothing more to the relationship, you know the kind of guys who will give up their hobbies, friends and what ever makes him who he is just to be with any woman.

Don't get me started on divorce because the system in the western world is incredibly unfair and bias against men, men lose everything they have worked for their entire life and continue paying afterwards.

originally posted by: ketsuko

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
a reply to: Plotus

I don't buy that - what does it even mean "union of body and soul".

-MM

If you had ever really found the right person, you wouldn't have to ask. Been married for 20+ years and never once felt like I was anyone's slave. I just felt more completely myself.

1. This is going to sound like an attack and an insult, but it's not - but perphaps you never knew yourself in the first place, it's not your fault as modern society never let people get the time to know themselves before they get married. From a young age we have all these activeties, school, and work and little time to discover one self and get to know the inner you.

2. Do you really need to marry someone to find the right person and live with them? Would you have been less happy if you weren't married but rather just partners?

-MM

a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

Oh, I knew myself just fine which is the only reason why a marriage works in the first place.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

Oh, I knew myself just fine which is the only reason why a marriage works in the first place.

But why could you not be equally as happy without being married? You could be just partners and living together?

-MM

a reply to: NeoSpace

Financial issues may be a cage which holds people in the marriage slavery. Not just men though, women too may not get a divorse - for example a stay-at-home mom may not have enough work experience to easily get a job if the marriage failed. The # flows both ways.

-MM

Look, it's pretty clear you're terrified of the idea of marriage.

But understand, slavery is something no one enters into voluntarily ... unless we're talking the ancient Roman version of it where certain highly educated individuals did sell themselves in with the idea of earning their way out with Roman citizenship to boot.

Marriage takes the agreement of both parties that way it's typically done in this country.

So, no, strictly speaking marriage is not slavery. If you enter situation where you regard it as slavery, then you're doing it wrong.

As I married my lover, best friend, partner in life, there hasn't been a single day that my marriage hasn't been a valuable asset to me in some way. Yes, even on the days when I'm less than pleased with him for some reason. Even on those days, which are few, the marriage is of benefit to us both. It has been a good deal and the strength of going through life with your best friend constantly at your side, someone you love deeply, more than makes up for any perceived problems.

When we got married, it was a set of solemn vows and promises we made to each to signal our depth of commitment to each other before God. They were the strongest vows we could make and signaled our intent to build a life and family together as partners, friends, lovers for the rest of our lives. It was not something we took lightly and it was not meant to be taken lightly because now, with a child, his happiness and stable life depends on our ability to keep our promises.

a reply to: ketsuko

Still, would you not be equally as happy as partners living together? Why do you need the marriage part? Would your god punish you if you did'nt take these wows before living with a man?

-MM

a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

Lots of people might not agree with you, and I'm not on the same page as you, but I appreciate your point!
Some might say that marriage is about a holy union, etc. but for the majority of time it was basically just a way to either combine families, get rid of a daughter, or enslave a woman.
The modern idea of marriage is vastly different than it was even 100 years ago, with men and women feeling societal pressure to marry, rarely for "love".
Good for you for sticking to your own values. You shouldn't feel like a slave in a relationship.

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
I'm in my 40s and have never married, I’m not unattractive, poor, or too weird to find a partner - I just don't want to get married. Why? Because I intuitively never liked the idea of anyone sort of "owning" me through marriage and telling me what to do - I want to be a free man.

I feel that marriage is the last legal form of slavery, an ugly remnant from a time where slavery in all forms were prevalent in society. Am I the only one that feels this way? I would like to know what you guys & gals think. Thanks.

-MM

Marriage is a partnership. No one owns you in marriage, but you do have to compromise as you don't have only yourself to think about. Getting married should not be taken lightly. Far too many people get married for the wrong reasons and to the wrong people as evidenced by the high divorce rate.

Society values marriage as it's primary function is providing a stable home for raising children.

There is a MGTOW movement... Men Going Their Own Way. I think it is primarily driven by men not wanting to settle down, but also by the inequities in the legal system when couples do get divorced and child support. Divorce and child support can financially ruin a guy, so marriage for men is a high risk proposition. I think many men are recognizing this risk and inequity and choosing to avoid it by staying single.

As the old song says, "It is cheaper to keep her..."

Yeah, marriage is a form of slavery, my master is my wife, she kept the whip on me all my married life to her, I did all sorts of things to try to please her. She was doing her share too, she just took care of keeping up the house and family, I just had to build the house and take care of the yards and land and maintain the house.

Voluntarily putting yourself into servitude for someone you care for is not real slavery, there is a difference.

You are more apt to become a slave of society, a slave to your wants and desires instead of your needs. The brainwashing we are fed daily makes us need to work more to be part of society. A person could work and save if they were more into just following their needs. The big scam nowadays is internet services and expensive phones. You do not need the newest and fastest technology, a road map works to find a place, you do not need GPS.