I'm tired of being crazy

A couple of days ago I was talking with a female colleague who I just met. This woman had given me some innacurate information concerning my job, and I believe she tried to trick me into doing something that I'm not authorized to do (which could be a big deal). All of that happened before I met her. When I met her I was a little knocked out by how pretty and nice she is, and she showed some genuine interest in me personally which is unusual where I work. When she was asking questions about me (and showing enthusiastic interest), I cut her off and left because I thought she had been malicious toward me. When we were leaving work, she made an allusion to us walking out of the building where we work together. I was thinking that I don't want to know her personally at all because of what she had done to me. When I was walking away I looked back at her, and she seemed a little sad. The thing about all of that is that she just may be a little incompetent. She just may be incompetent enough to have not been being malicious with those mistakes she made.

My craziness comes in when I always assume the worst. I'm sitting here thinking that I shouldn't have treated that woman the way I did. Pretty, nice women like that are rare.

Here's another example...

I was recently posting on another forum, and I met a woman who really seemed to like me. We struck up a conversation via private messaging. I sent her a message that she had told me she would be looking forward to reading. When I saw that she was posting on the forum for hours without having read the PM I sent her, I thought that she must have rejected me. I decided I would just stay out of her way from then on. As luck would have it, I had posted to her that I sent her the PM, and she replied that she hadn't received it but she would like to read it. I sent the PM again, and we were able to work it out from there.

I'm basically paranoid, and I'm sick of it. When my colleagues make mistakes my first thought is that their intention must have been malicious. If I don't get a timely reply to a PM or an email in a personal situation, I usually assume I was rejected unless I know the other person very well.

It could also be that I have an inferiority complex, but that doesn't explain my paranoia. I would love to hear from some of the people on this forum who have had private interactions with me. Their opinions would be appreciated.

Are you crazy or just rather shallow? Would you even be having these thoughts if you didn't find her attractive?

a reply to: Profusion



Not to worry it pays to be cautious and not take things at face value ....

Look at what happened to the late author Helen Bailey murdered by her

fiance Ian Stewart!!


It is so easy to be naive and get taken ......


Better to be cautious If its meant to be it will out.

a reply to: Profusion

just do her man. Be sure to take some compromising photos for any sort of counter blackmail that maybe required in the near future. I hope that helps

originally posted by: Anaana
Are you crazy or just rather shallow? Would you even be having these thoughts if you didn't find her attractive?

I doubt that I would have cared. Is that being shallow? If looks were the only thing that made me question the situation, that would be being shallow. However, it was a combination of her looks and her personality, so I don't think that's shallowness.

If she were just pretty but with a bad personality, I probably would have walked out the door and never given the situation another thought.

a reply to: eletheia

My motto is "better safe than sorry." Thank you.

a reply to: Profusion

What is "personality"? You think she may be incompetent, that she uses trickery to get others in to trouble...but what? She does it with a smile so that is okay? What's a nice personality if you scratch the surface and find character lacking? Shallow, that is what it is.

a reply to: Profusion

your not crazy
being crazy is hell
sanity is a gift most take for granted

When my colleagues make mistakes my first thought is that their intention must have been malicious

baggage
think back
someone hurt you

originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: Profusion

What is "personality"? You think she may be incompetent, that she uses trickery to get others in to trouble...but what? She does it with a smile so that is okay? What's a nice personality if you scratch the surface and find character lacking? Shallow, that is what it is.

I don't have a enough information to know if she was being malicious with me. My point is that I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Next time I see her I will do that.

If she wasn't attractive in terms both looks and personality, I probably wouldn't care about this situation much at all.

originally posted by: kibric
a reply to: Profusion

your not crazy
being crazy is hell
sanity is a gift most take for granted

When my colleagues make mistakes my first thought is that their intention must have been malicious

baggage
think back
someone hurt you

I have tons of baggage. I don't want to get into it. That's a good point.

originally posted by: Profusion
I don't have a enough information to know if she was being malicious with me. My point is that I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Next time I see her I will do that.

If she wasn't attractive in terms both looks and personality, I probably wouldn't care about this situation much at all.

Well, there you go. Perhaps you should be thinking more with your professional "persona" and taking things less personally in that environment? It is reasonable to feel insecure about establishing an intimate connection with someone, but you shouldn't be allowing that to bleed into how you allow yourself to be treated professionally, or indeed, you should be appraising your colleague on her professionalism, not on how she looks, or her personality for that matter even if your profession is sales, where superficial presentation is central and shallowness an art.

Assume everyone is out to get you, you did good...now go die alone in a cave.

or

assume not everyone is out to get you, if you honestly cant chat about something just say "yeah, cant talk about that" and go on a date with some boundries in place...stop being such a drama queen and simply have limits of some subjects...or not, not everyone has to breed and be happy and perhaps your gig is to be just that.
Lord knows that woman probably deserves someone who isn't insane from the get go...if you cant get over it and think you are the most special person in the world that everyone is trying to grift, then perhaps you are meant to be alone

This may sound difficult and out there
Why not tell her what happened and find out why, just ask...

Crazy people generally make assumptions the worst about people and never find out the truth, live in there own crazy world

originally posted by: Anaana

originally posted by: Profusion
I don't have a enough information to know if she was being malicious with me. My point is that I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Next time I see her I will do that.

If she wasn't attractive in terms both looks and personality, I probably wouldn't care about this situation much at all.

Well, there you go. Perhaps you should be thinking more with your professional "persona" and taking things less personally in that environment? It is reasonable to feel insecure about establishing an intimate connection with someone, but you shouldn't be allowing that to bleed into how you allow yourself to be treated professionally, or indeed, you should be appraising your colleague on her professionalism, not on how she looks, or her personality for that matter even if your profession is sales, where superficial presentation is central and shallowness an art.

You're getting things mixed up. I don't treat my colleagues differently based on how they look in terms of anything that involves work. I was discussing having conversations about our private lives which has no bearing on our work. They are completely different issues.

originally posted by: SaturnFX
assume not everyone is out to get you, if you honestly cant chat about something just say "yeah, cant talk about that" and go on a date with some boundries in place...stop being such a drama queen and simply have limits of some subjects...or not, not everyone has to breed and be happy and perhaps your gig is to be just that.
Lord knows that woman probably deserves someone who isn't insane from the get go...if you cant get over it and think you are the most special person in the world that everyone is trying to grift, then perhaps you are meant to be alone

I was so stunned by how this woman looked and acted that I was about to forget about the past, but then just after I met her she gave me even more information that she should have given me previously. I didn't mention that in the original post because I forgot about it, but I was irate at the moment. That was about the seventh mistake she had made in about week concerning our work together. The ironic thing is that I think she was trying to be friendly towards me by waiting to tell me what she told me (I'm 99% sure she was considering what it was), but it was wrong for her to wait nonetheless.

Now that I've had this opportunity to vent, I will be completely friendly to her in the future. I doubt that she'll care when I clearly rejected her already.

originally posted by: Raggedyman
This may sound difficult and out there
Why not tell her what happened and find out why, just ask...

Crazy people generally make assumptions the worst about people and never find out the truth, live in there own crazy world

She gave me the reasons..."I forgot", "I didn't know", "I wasn't sure".... If I ask her again, I'll be accusing her of lying and that's out of the question.

a reply to: Profusion

You're not being paranoid, just cautious. Keep protecting your lifestyle.

Make yourself a success. Don't be used as a tool for someone else's success at your expense.

Look at the person's behavior. Do they prefer more responsive people and later ignore you. The smile your way says it all. Not genuine then give them a miss.

My thoughts,

kind regards,

bally

originally posted by: weirdguy
a reply to: Profusion

just do her man. Be sure to take some compromising photos for any sort of counter blackmail that maybe required in the near future. I hope that helps

It makes you feel like the biggest POS on the planet, showing photos of that sort.

originally posted by: savemebarry

originally posted by: weirdguy
a reply to: Profusion

just do her man. Be sure to take some compromising photos for any sort of counter blackmail that maybe required in the near future. I hope that helps

It makes you feel like the biggest POS on the planet, showing photos of that sort.

Well, fav saying on ATS. "Pics or it didn't happen." In this sense it would only be protecting ones self against any perceived future BS allegations.

kind regards

bally

Being crazy is what keeps me sane in this life.
Always watch your back. Too many snakes in the grass. From what i've seen in my lifetime is that 65% of the people are fake 35% is real. Odds are against real people like us. That's why we have to be cautious

You must have a history of someone screwing you over for you to be so suspicious of people. That is a learned trait . . ....and if you've been screwed over multiple times then you may tend to be naive or easily taken advantage of. That is something only you can look back at and learn from to protect yourself.....don't wear your heart on your sleeve ....there nothing wrong with being guarded about your job, feelings, or life . But, sometimes you need to give others a chance too,as not all are bad..... Create boundaries , not walls .....especially with your co-worker. And if the new coworker does something fishy again, confront her nicely, and professionally , and let her know she did something against company policy. But, you also want to let her know that you support her as a team player ....and that is the attitude you should have at work. ...a professional in your job, a team player, but not a sucker. That is the boundaries not walls you need. ....outside of work is another story . ?..and You may want to see if your company policy allows you to date or see others at the same company ?

a reply to: Profusion

What do ya know I am exactly just like you! I am not alone after all.

I trust no one and question everything. I remain suspicious of anyone's real intentions when I meet people. I am paranoid but it helps me stay on my toes.

originally posted by: eletheia
a reply to: Profusion

Not to worry it pays to be cautious and not take things at face value ....
Look at what happened to the late author Helen Bailey murdered by her
fiance Ian Stewart!!
It is so easy to be naive and get taken ......

Just realised that there are more nationalities on the board than the

UK and most probably dont know what I am talking about ......

so here you go......

www.theguardian.com...

originally posted by: 4N0M4LY
a reply to: Profusion

What do ya know I am exactly just like you! I am not alone after all.

I trust no one and question everything. I remain suspicious of anyone's real intentions when I meet people. I am paranoid but it helps me stay on my toes.

Even as a child this song resonated with me.


www.youtube.com...