My freedom is a sham. (long, non-political rant)

By that, I mean my freedom as an independent person but I feel like that doesn't even properly explain what I mean. So, just so we're on the same page, this has nothing to do with any political freedoms or rights, nor the fear of any being taken away by politicians. So, no politics.

Before I start on this rant, I feel I need to address how I've been absent from this forum for awhile. I'm sure it'll be weird to some that I just come back to type up a personal rant but I literally have no other outlet as my family has made sure to track me down to every corner of the internet I've touched. This place is safe because they seem to think that conspiracy websites = malware, but I doubt they'd even think to look here. Speaking of family, that brings me into my rant.

They have made sure I cannot live without their approval, or their knowledge. They've always been this way. It's part of the reason why I'm glad I had no interest in dating, which to them is odd seeing as I'm a 20-something fertile woman. I'm sure if they could, they'd make sure I was married on the day I graduated. And before I continue, this is everyone in my family minus my dad because he decided he'd rather not bother being a dad. Although, he says that one is on me because he let me choose (read: gave me an ultimatum) between him and mom on his weekend before his christmas holiday. Obviously, I chose my mom and he kept true to his promise of me never seeing him again. But my rant isn't about him, although I'm sure I could add a paragraph or two about him if I wanted.

No, this is about how my aunts, uncles, grandma, and sister all seem to work to make sure my life is under some form of their control. While I didn't list my mom, she did play a part in making sure I didn't go to college. I couldn't go to the college I wanted because it was 11 hours away. According to her, I should keep living with her, take a couple of online classes, and work with her at the bog-box retail store in town. Even when I applied without her knowledge, she made sure to screw me over by somehow removing or voiding the loan in her name late enough into december that I couldn't find a supplementary loan or grant in time, so now I directly owe the college for one semester on top of the student loans in my name. Hurray.

I'm still bitter about that, but it's like they say: hindsight is 20/20.

But I feel like I need glasses for my hindsight because it seems blind as a bat sometimes. I'll get to the point of this in a moment.

When it comes to the rest of my family, anything I did was instantly known by someone. My town is small-- 7k --so I expected this on occasion but this was every. single. time.

Walking 5 minutes down the road to the general goods store as a teen? My mom got a call that I was walking the streets.
Stopping by McDonalds after school? I'd get a phone call the moment I got home by some aunt, or my grandma, asking what I had at Mickey D's.
Headed to a friend's house? They call my mom asking who lives in the area. This happened even after they've been told who lived there.
Alternatively, a friend entering my house? My mom or I would get a call to see who was paying a visit and how long they'd be there.

They knew every move I made. The creepy part was we lived a good couple of miles from them and none of our neighbors were friends, let alone acquaintances, with any of them. Come to find out, it was a habit for at least one of them, aunt, uncle, or great-aunt, to drive the area we lived in and the area I walked from school to mcdonalds to home, multiple times a day. They even did it to my mom after she got off work. If her car was not home, they'd make a point to find it because they just had to know where she was. If they couldn't find it, they'd call her asking where she was. After putting up with this for years, both my mom and I had enough. Questioning them only gave us the mutual defense that they were just making sure we were alright, that we (especially I) should be thankful, and we were being rude and unappreciative for the amount of time they put forth into making sure we're alright. At the same time, ALL of their kids in my age group (13 - 18) minus one were on some sort of drugs or in trouble with the law. Yet it was I, who was getting straight As in school and only interested in reading books and watching nature documentaries that needing 'watching'.

That's not even including the times they berated my mom over the phone for not inviting them to grocery shop with her after they spotted her car at the supermarket.

And not to mention the time my disabled aunt sent her 18 year old son (ironically, the one who molested me up until I was 15) to an apartment they seen me at. A male friend lived there with one of his friends and both were great people. Helpful to the community, friendly to anyone they talked to, and all-around safe to be around. One happened to be in the same graduating class as my cousin so he used that as an excuse to be there, however they were never friends. Never. But, being the nice guys they were, they let him in that day because they weren't sure if this was a cry for help. Sometime later that day, my mom got a call from disabled aunt saying she had to take her son to the ER for a drug test because they spiked his drink. She also let her in on the nefarious goings-on that happened at the apartment, such as any girl going there is sleeping around with them all and doing drugs.

Her son tested negative for everything, by the way.
And I guess it didn't help her case that they had been recording themselves playing guitar hero when he stopped by for all of 10 minutes, which was all on tape. Never once did he drink anything. But, he did ask about me a heck of a lot like what I wore here and how I acted around them. And then left when they asked why it was his business. The clock on the wall in the video matched the time he checked in to the ER if he was to leave that second from their apartment and drive to the hospital. So, come to your own conclusions.

But it doesn't stop there.

Without all the unneeded details, I moved FAR away from this state. I was free, for once, and I managed to finally gain 10 pounds to reach a healthy 130 lbs. Of all my years, I was actually happy. I had a great job, all four of my roommates were awesome, and I could be myself without having to answer for everything I did. Except, that wasn't the case. If I didn't answer my phone, my sister would threaten me with cops. If I failed to call or text back after 30 minutes, I would be met with multiple text messages and calls from other family. I tried cancelling the phone service but that was met with a "welfare" visit from the police a day later. And, because one of my roommates smoked weed, I was booted from the household because it was too much of a headache for them.

And so I had no choice but to head back to my home-state because my job was only part-time and minimum wage. It was nowhere near enough to maintain rent in that area without at least another income and everyone I knew there were mutual friends with my roommates. Because they knew and sometimes were present for the harassing calls, none were open to that type of drama.

So there I was, heading back to my family in what I'm sure they saw as a victory. Especially my sister, who you'll soon find out is the worst of them all.

Now, I'm a forgiving person. I decided to look past all the things my family's done to me because that is truly all they knew. It's been their way of life since they were born. If the conversation didn't involve gossip about somebody in the family, it wasn't worth having. They thought it was a right of theirs to know about all the things you're doing at any given moment because that is the environment they were raised in. One aunt even got in a verbal spat with a neighbor after she accused the neighbor of being a bad mom because she call her daughter every day to see what she's up to. So, I tried to look past that. I really tied, even moving in with my sister because area she lived in offered more job opportunities.

Big mistake. You know how I said hindsight is 20/20 but mine needs glasses? Well, I really should have known better based on the past.

So, the basic gist of it is I needed a bank account so my checks could be directly deposited. Previously, I was
just cashing my checks but with my brother-in-law now back after working out of state, I felt like my money would be safer if I didn't have cash. I really didn't know him that well but, they offered me a proposition. When I open an account, I could open one for them since both owe that specific bank money from a past loan and they needed an account specifically for their business at the request of whomever loaned them equipment. That was fine because I would be in control of it even with my sister having a card in her name that operated out of it. My GOD how dumb I was. This was literally my first bank account, but I don't want to use that as an excuse.

A few months passed, they started to show their religious zealot side by saying I don't appreciate the word of Joel Osteen because I don't go to church, and I just ignored it. I knew to expect some sort of religious overtones. I ignored many other snide comments made such as how I should be grateful to live with them and show appreciation through cleaning the house and dishes. Y'know, even though my sister was home all day on facebook and watching vines.

My patience was running at an all time low and I was finally bone dry when I was preparing to file for last year's taxes. Brother-in-law came in and told me I had to file for the money he made through his business and send out 1099s to him and all the kids that worked for him. Because, y'know, reasons. Reasons that he couldn't explain only that I had to do that because of...well, reasons. I said no, obviously, and he was forced to file his own and do all that other stuff that he, as the legal OWNER of his business, had to do.

A few weeks later, he wanted me to file for LLC whatever-it-is for his business under MY name because, again, reasons. Something about if some people from a neighboring state knew he was running a business, they would put out bad reviews.

Oh, and OSHA apparently had taken him to court and won the case, thus granted the right to forcefully take payments out of his paychecks.

So, I had enough. I had enough WAY TOO LATE, I think, as I told both sister and brother-in-law that the DBA account will be transferred into their name by the end of the year. They were hesitant but accepted, however that sparked a series of excuses each time I said I'm in the bank's parking lot.

You're probably wondering why I just didn't close it myself without them knowing. Well, this is where my stalking relatives come back in as they told her whenever I was at the bank. Each time I tried to go close it, I always asked the balance and for a print out so I could return the money left over to my sister. Each time, it was overdrawn to the max. They were seriously overdrawing it HUNDREDS of dollars each time, and the recorded times and locations even coincided with the time I was in the parking of the bank and where my sister was at the time (20 minutes away).

So, I cancelled the card my sister had but since she was the secretary on the account and the bank wouldn't let me remove her name without her being there to sign off, she could still use the checks they had in their permission.

In the midst of this, I would change my password to the online bank account. Every time, it would be changed to something else a few days later, presumably by my sister. I would change my address to that of my mom's, who I moved back in with after seeing the state of her house (depression hit her hard), but it would be changed to their's soon after. Again, presumably by my sister.

I played their game for a few months, allowing them to 'countdown' the number of payments left on their loans until it came down to just ONE payment left.

A few days later, I received an email stating I'm $1k in debt to the bank because the account's been overdrawn for 30 days. According to both sister and brother-in-law, they legally don't owe crap because the account is in my name. And, they're right. They used the dang system against me, someone half their age, and have actually cracked jokes over the phone about how my credit will be totally screwed now, that I'd be lucky to get into college because no place would let me get a loan now. So here I am, stuck in a place with no job due to the only places hiring being lawyer offices and two places that require an associates degree (in the least), with a new debt that is due in full tomorrow or it gets sent to a collection agency.

And all because I chose to ignore all the warning signs and forgive my family because the behaviors they displayed were ingrained into them from the start.

There's nothing I want to do more than pack up my backpack and leave in the middle of the night but I fear I wouldn't get far on foot. I've had two learner's permit (driving) with barely a day on each thanks to the refusal of my mom when I was a teen to start learning. When I hit 18, I got my first permit, but finding someone to teach me was difficult because my friends has already distanced themselves from me thanks to my family. Driving classes here are garbage as I have to have my own vehicle to use. To go elsewhere in the county means I have to have a ride which means asking family. Seeing how they are, I'm sure they'd do everything to NOT take me as relying on them means they've won.

I feel like all aspects of my life has been under the control of somebody else. Like I said, I want to just pack a bag and leave in the night but going on foot is dangerous as a woman around these parts. And where am I supposed to go? The only friends I have left are elsewhere in the state and they've expressed they'd rather not unless I can assure them my family will not be around. I can't do that as, lo and behold, my sister's husband works frequently in that town.

I'm just done. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Everything. Trying to find happiness is impossible, except of course when it comes to my cat, but it's a different type of happiness than what I crave. I just want to not exist in their life anymore, or even their reality. I see so many theories on here that I wish would be proven true. Time travel, multiple dimensions, alien abductions. Just let me go somewhere else but here. Anywhere else but here.

I just want to be me. For once. I want to wake up and be able to take a stroll without one of them questioning me. I want to go to college. I want my life to be mine only.

But I feel like that's just a pipe dream slowly burning away.

a reply to: Chimney

Your family is very toxic, it sounds. Go as far away as you can. Start a new life, even if you have to change your identity.

I know I'm only hearing your side of your story. I can't help but wonder if there is a part of your story missing. A part that would explain why it appears everyone in your family feels a need to constantly check up on you.

Just my own humble opinion...

Des

Umm, I read your rant twice. To be sure I understood what you are trying to get across to and the conception of your post.

Sorry but I'm a factual person not withstanding I have apathy for how you are feeling.

Control your feelings and strike out on your own. Forget your family and background until you establish yourself. If you have an inner need to be honorable to those you are ranting about then that's cool. But it's time to separate. A long way for a long period of years. Otherwise you'll get nowhere and dragged into the the depths of despair every time you think you have achieved something.

Give the heart strings a miss. Look after A1, yourself.

Get a passport, go overseas, work on a visa, experience true life.

New Zealand or Strayla are good places to start.

Kind regards,

bally

a reply to: Chimney

Your family... perhaps your whole town, is sick.

And if you ever wanted proof, the fact that they said that you do not take the word of Joel Osteen seriously is it. Someone who was at least sane in their devotion to faith would have said the word of CHRIST, JESUS CHRIST! Not some gormless hack from the television who wants you to think he has the Holy Trinity on speed dial! Good grief!

Look... Chimney,

You have to get away. You have to leave. You have to close every account you have, report your sister and brother in law for fiddling (that crap they did to you has to be illegal somehow) and you have to get out of town. Leave your phone at home, get a restraining order against your entire family and leave town. Most of the people that I have heard of, who have a story that even remotely sounds like yours, are in a cult of some sort, and that is not a good place to be.

originally posted by: Chimney

...minus my dad because he decided he'd rather not bother being a dad. Although, he says that one is on me because he let me choose (read: gave me an ultimatum) between him and mom on his weekend before his christmas holiday. Obviously, I chose my mom and he kept true to his promise of me never seeing him again. But my rant isn't about him, although I'm sure I could add a paragraph or two about him if I wanted.

I'd like to hear more about the situation with your dad. I'm on the verge of giving my kids the same ultimatum before I leave this town due to my crazy ex-wife and her denial ridden, enabling parents.

It's hard to watch your kids live like cockroaches because they feel so sorry for their mommy.

a reply to: Chimney

People only take away from you only what you let them. Don't let them and they will change how they relate to you.

a reply to: Chimney

You write clearly about your thoughts and position. Since you seem to exist in isolation, I suggest that you keep a daily journal of how you let the actions and will of others influence you beyond what you want for yourself. Let that daily tally be your guide to a better understanding of how you are daily influenced by others and how you must alter simple aspects of your life that then can emerge for you to gain some manner of control.

Your desire for freedom is a sham to cover the inability to refrain from being submissive to anyone that wants a piece of your life. Many of us cover our butts for being this way by rationalizing that "We want/need, to be nice, forgiving, generous non-grudge-holding, human, compassionate.... Any of that done to extreme is self-serving. It will be very difficult to move from your position of being submissive toward self-actualization. The real battle, my dear, is more within yourself than it is with others.

a reply to: Chimney

I feel for you.
From what you've described, there are some sick and twisted relations going on there. I can certainly relate to not wanting to be smothered but, this 'stalking' type behavior is over the top. It's irrational, IMO.

I think you are going to have to get to the point where you stop saying yes to these ridiculous requests from folks who are supposed to love you and you are supposed to be able to trust.

Never open an account 'for' someone else (or have their name on it). Period. There is no 'debtor's prison' so that hefty bill from the bank (although will screw up your credit) can be paid down the road. I think the pressing issue at the moment is you getting some sort of employment, the McDonald's perhaps, and squirreling away (hide it in a metal box in the woods if necessary) enough money to be able to get out of there.

You mentioned your friends in another town. I realize that your BIL works there frequently but, get a PO box and if 'they' begin to harass you again...call the police. I understand that 'welfare checks' can be a hassle but, maybe if you explain to the dept that you do not desire any contact with your family then those will slack off or cease completely, in time.

Don't give your number out to anyone that doesn't have an immediate need for it. Stay away from social media for a good time, change your hair drastically so that you aren't easily recognized on the street. Stay away from places that you would 'normally' frequent...libraries, parks, etc. This may not have to be forever but, it may need to be for a year or longer so be prepared for that.

When you get to your town where your friends live, then you could start saving for a move even farther away and then straighten out your credit and go to school.
It's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard. I left home at 15 and it was brutal. I am not close to the majority of my family anymore, if we ever really were. I hold those memories (good and bad) in deep regard as shaping who I am today and giving me experiences to draw upon with my own children.

The fight will be worth it, in the end, I believe.

Good luck! Please let us know how you are and of your journey.

Sounds like your family takes advantage of you because your naive to the ways of business and the world.....not your fault, you've just been shelters your whole life....and I agree with TrueBrit that is sounds cultish ....and I also agree with Destinyone that your family is toxic and there are still two sides to every story ....BUT, ....you sound like you truly want to break free , make a better life and be yourself .....And you should...you're an adult now and time to make decisions for you that affect you. ...so on that note......research places to live that aren't too expensive and job options....places that don't require a car ....cities....resort areas...ny city , key west ......maybe somewhere near a college town and you can get a job, ride a bicycle , scooter, and do school part time. ....your going to have to do this on your own, and it won't be easy at first ....I see a lot of ramen noodles in your future ....but....it will get better . ....there's always cruise ships as a job .... You will have to be strong and on your own ......there is another option too, you could join the military . your sign up bonus will allow you to buy a car , and you could live in batchelor housing at first ....eventually you would qualify for college funding ,and also medical through the VA ....do some research on benefits for how many years in the military .....that would definately get you away from your family . ...but whatever you decide, do it sooner then later before they cause you more grief and trouble.

a reply to: Destinyone

The thing is it's not just me they do this to, but each other. They're just used to it because, like I said, this is how they were raised. I'm sure it's harder on me because I recognize the toxicity and refuse to give them anything. I feel like I only recognize it because my mom raised me away from them but the sudden divorce and her being a stay-at-home mom made it so she had no job to fall back on to keep me in the city. It got worse around 6th grade when my mom found letters between my grandma and a man that wasn't my grandpa regarding my mom as a baby. The dates didn't match up to when she met my grandpa, and the content of the letters mentioned my mom being his child. When my mom pressed for more information and got the truth, that the man was her real dad and she was born out of wedlock, my aunts and uncles bit back at her because that somehow meant she was better than them. Even me, being the first girl in my generation to graduate high school, meant I was somehow better than their kids, and that was wrong.

They knew I would graduate because my grades were solid and I had no outside distractions that hindered their kids. So, they worked hard to find something-- or create something, as is the case with my cousin going to my friend's apartment --to make it so they could prove I was no better than their kids. Even at 23, when I was making a light mixed drink (coke and rum but more coke than rum), they were taking pictures and posted a couple online because that showed I was drank too.

It's always been like that, but worse on my part because they don't have anything on me to chat about. When they see me, they always prod me for "juicy" events in my life. And what can I tell them but the truth? My cat had a hairball in my shoe, I watched a great documentary about wild horses in the USA, I read a book. It never changes but I can tell by any following comments that my answer isn't good enough, and they're rather rude about it most of the time. Other times they're passive aggressive, or they try to break me down emotionally because I'm being hateful for not sharing my life with them.

I know how it does sound, that there are two sides to all stories but if you were to approach any of those relatives and ask them why they did what they did, they'd tell you that it's because they're kept in the dark and that bothers them. Friends of my mom has been fed up enough to ask before and that's what they've been given as an explanation. The only reason they're kept in the dark is because our personal business is nobody else's.

(I'm going to reply to everyone, but I'll be taking a pause after this one to eat)

a reply to: bally001

This is one thing I've been wanting to do for a long time. I've just been holding back until I get those student loans off my back so I can start fresh with nothing hovering over me. I think that was a mistake, though, because now I have a debt that was not created by me. I keep saying "One day, I'll be a conservationist and seeing the world, experiencing cultures, and living my life" but that "One Day" has turned into a "Maybe One Day". I hate myself for that.

I have been looking into the passport option, it's just the lack of money that is holding me back. I've been doing what I can online until the general store or a gas station has an opening, but jobs are highly competitive because our high school services students from much smaller towns that have even fewer job opportunities. That's why I ignorantly moved in with my sister, because her area had a much better job outlook. Right now, I feel like I've hit a point of stagnation, and why I feel so hopeless.

But, hate it as I do, one day-- hopefully soon --I'll have all I need to just leave everything behind.

If you were a man during the middle ages you would be called.

Sir Rants A Lot

Seriously though, sounds like you need a professional licensed counselor to help you manage this. ATS members aren't all trained counselors.

This is what they do for a living. Teach you how to do with manageable family problems, assess whether a relationship with a family member is destructive enough that you need to declare independence, etc.

5 gallons of premium unleaded and a road flare....

a reply to: TrueBrit

The thing about Joel Osteen is not just me not taking him seriously. My brother-in-law has said time and time again that he (brother-in-law) is the second coming of christ, an angel on earth, and once even alluded that god only speaks through him. So for me to not like Joel and straight up refuse to pay attention to him is wrong, and brother-in-law knows that to be fact because god told him so. Brother-in-law has also stated that whenever he says anything racist, -phobic, or what-have-you is actually god's words, not his, so if you say anything against him then you're really fighting with god. He even went to the courthouse and threatened to shoot everyone there (and bragged about it later), but couldn't grasp that the reason the cops reacted to strongly to him was for that threat. He said it was because they don't want god in their government.

Sooo technically it's "Jesus Christ" in the flesh saying that Joel Osteen should be watched, praised, and probably even idolized. Brother-in-law definitely blurs that line between "fan" and "idolizer".

And the way my family faun over him (brother-in-law) is frightening, so I'm sure you're eerily close to hitting the mark with the cult comment. You're not the first that's said that to me, however they were going off of the other religiously charged beliefs.

As for the whole town being sick, you're probably close to that too but I don't think it would the whole town. However, my family have basically been here all their lives for many generations, all the way back to the civil war era based on records of direct blood relatives. So, people know them. Without going into detail, my mom tried to make a report to CPS after witnessing something done by a cousin and his wife but found out that someone at CPS tipped off the cousin that one of there people will be stopping by at a certain time. So anything and anyone that was supposed to be around kids was gone by the time they came by. It's sickening to think how 'loyal' some people here can be when they know someone.

I know I need to leave, I really do and I really want to. There's nothing more I want in life than to do that, but I'd need to establish a plan of action before actually taking action. I mentioned in a previous post that I've been waiting to hop on a job opening the first chance I can and until then, I've been diddling around online in whatever way I can. So once I have enough in my bank account for at least a couple of months in a hotel, I'm gone. I've been putting out feelers too for possible legal action I can take as well regarding the sister/brother-in-law debt, but I fear doing that now while I'm still within their reach wouldn't fare well.

a reply to: Bone75

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through and I hope you're able to reach a place of peace in regards to that. It's sounds like an ultimatum is warranted.

So, I'll try to keep this short. My dad didn't use protection with my mom and I was the result. It was just him, my mom, and I in the city up until I was in third grade. I recall one time where he took me to the female neighbor's downstairs sometime in my third grade year and we stayed the night, as my mom had taken an overnight class somewhere. I remember waking up in the middle of the night on the neighbor's couch and my dad was nowhere to be found. It's obvious now what he was doing. He told me not to tell but I was also taught to never lie and I told my mom anyway when she asked me if I slept well. They were separated shortly after.

Mom and I moved in with grandma. The car my dad said he'd continue making payments for until my mom found a job to pay it herself was repossessed the week after. During this my dad would call to talk to me but only for a couple of minutes. Sometime towards the end of fourth grade, they decided to try to coexist in a different town for my sake. This ended badly and was the first time I actually seen my parents fight. It was verbally, but the way my dad was acting terrified me. This was the first time he gave me a choice, him or mom. I chose my mom because I was scared of him. He took the family dog that had been around for a couple of years before I was born out of spite.

In 6th grade they were officially divorced. He moved in with another woman, now my step-mom, soon after. On his weekends, she did nothing but constantly put me and my mom down. She would also not allow me to go outside to see my dog and I could not feed him. Only she could feed him. My dog was a strictly indoor dog but she was not allowing any animal inside. Except, of course, for her dog. My dog died shortly after. I never got to see him expect through the window.

I remember they pulled me from school one day without my mom's knowledge (also illegally as it was not their weekend), and we traveled all the way down into northern Arkansas and parts of Oklahoma.

I couldn't do anything in their house that wasn't met with some comment by his then-fiancee about how stupid I was. My dad did nothing. For example, I once asked if she had a free outlet while holding a cord in my hand. She said "do you not know we have electricity? What do you think the lamps are running on?", completely serious. So I said I wasn't dumb and that I needed to plug something in, but that was only met with an "of course you are, you're your mom's daughter". I could go on about other things she's said, but hopefully you get the gist of what type of person she was. Mind you, I was in 6th grade at this point.

7th grade was met with many weekends where my dad never showed up. I was still hopeful, though, and was excited for christmas as it was his year to have me. So on his weekend before his christmas weekend, he sat me with down with his fiancee and told me that I had to choose him or mom. If I chose him, I'd move in immediately and we'd go shopping the next day for new clothes. If I chose mom, I'd never see him again because he didn't like having to drive two hours each time to pick me up for just two days every other week. That it wasn't worth the effort, basically.

Because of all the things that happened regarding his fiancee, from my dog to how she treated me to his refusal to do anything about it, I chose my mom. He kept true to his word but I didn't really think he meant it. I waited for him on the day he was to pick me up for christmas but he never came. I was crushed but forgiving, so I continued to buy him presents for the next two years. He never came. He did call a few times, but I stopped answering when all he did was tell me why he wasn't paying child support on me. Reason being that he wasn't seeing me anymore.

So there you have it. I haven't seen or heard from him since besides being sent screenshots of his facebook page by a couple of my aunts. I think I'm better off for it.

a reply to: Chimney

So your brother-in-law is actually a blasphemer then? What a sterling example of Christendom

I totally agree that taking legal action on the matter of the money your sister and your brother-in-law owe you at this precise point in time would be unwise, but you absolutely need to cue that up, as the very next thing to do after getting a restraining order against every single member of your family, once you have moved away. There is nothing more toxic than someone who believes their indoctrination to be equal to faith, except someone who allows that belief to be used to justify unjustifiable behaviour.

I wish you every success in your escape.

originally posted by: Advantage
5 gallons of premium unleaded and a road flare....

Great counselor you are. A real gem.

Perhaps you should go get your certification.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: Chimney

So your brother-in-law is actually a blasphemer then? What a sterling example of Christendom

What is blasphemy? So, many people disagree on this. Some say that it is taking innocent life or murder without self-defense.

Others seem to think that using Jesus name in vain or with profanity is. I do this regularly in private, not in public.

I've seen other definitions that indicate that blasphemy is what the Jews with Jesus miracles in attributing something of God to the devil. That to me would be the most wise choice.