When Should You Say 'I Love You'?

This seems to be completely dependent on context. For instance, when I attended Christian churches in my adolescence, there were "I love yous" flying all over the place. On the other hand, a stranger posted "I love you" to me on this forum. It was certainly shocking and unexpected. I took it to be a nice gesture. But, some people might get very offended by something like that.

The article linked to below has an interesting examination of when "I love you" is appropriate in romance. What do you think the correct answer is?

Consider, for example, this common (and conflicting) advice about when to tell your partner "I love you":

Go on at least five dates.
Say it only after two months.
Don't wait too long.
Wait until you're absolutely bursting.
Do not do it before, after, or during sex.
Don't say it when you're very emotional and cannot think rationally.
Don't say it when you want to reward your partner for something.
Never say it first, and don't echo it back until you've spent some extended time together.
Source

The following article has a discussion of what "I love you" means in different contexts.

We like to tell everyone that we love them, particularly after a couple glasses of wine, and although there's some talk out there that this sweet expression has lost its meaning because we overuse it, I couldn't disagree more. I'm convinced there's nothing wrong with verbalizing our feelings on a regular basis; this world could always use a little more affection, a bit of extra magic. But we'd be silly to think that saying "I love you" means the same thing to each person you say it to. Your mom doesn't get the same kind of love that you give to your kitty cat, and that doesn't mean you care for one more than the other. So, no matter how you say it or who you say it to, keep passing on the love — even if those words accidentally slip out when you're talking to the bartender on an especially fun girls' night out.

The list could go on and on, but here are 11 different meanings of "I love you."
Source

"Only Love Strangers" by the Chinese pop star Faye Wong brings up an interesting question. Should she express her love for strangers?

Incidentally, I've asked several Chinese people whether only loving strangers is part of Chinese culture. They all said no, Faye Wong is just weird. The older I get, the more the song seems to describe me.

I'm in love with a scar
I'm in love with a lamp
I love to listen carefully to the ticking second hand
Don't love any other rumour

Those I love are more innocents than facial expressions
more naive than pets
When what I need is just a kiss
A kiss is what I got
I only love strangers
I only love strangers

Let me fall in love with a particular person
Love a particular body temperature
Like to see a particular gleam in the eyes
Don't love any other possibilities

www.youtube.com...

a reply to: Profusion

Hm, I don't think there is a definitive time to say the phrase, but as long it is sincerely meant(and I don't mean some BS "I love you" that's thrown around).

Now that said, with my last relationship I said I love you as the way of revealing my feelings to the girl. We had been friends for the past couple months always close and having excuses to be close to her. For example(it was the winter) I'd ask if she were cold and hug her when she said yes or there was a running joking between the two of us that she needed a guide(she lost her eyes and from another running joke(not a joke maybe, but along that way) I was her prince) so I would be holding onto her to guide her. Throughout this time we talked about a future together, living together, etc. Our relationship started backwards basically.

So I don't think there is a specific time; I am clearly someone that falls fast and hard.

Off topic, but one of the sweetest things she did before being together(this was in high school so yes puppy love and all that claim whatever you will I don't need such commentary as I know otherwise) was run to the bus(which did not run very often) and I walked as I had. She got on the bus, up the stairs, and either very loudly said or yelled at the bus driver, "Wait a second", ran off the bus and hugged me and went back on. That was really sweet.

Whenever my current wife said "I love you" while we were dating and I didn't feel it was the correct thing to say back at the time, I stated (with a smile) "I love me too" and that took the edge off the usually awkward situation and allowed her to understand that I was just an A-hole....

Happily together for 15 years now.

a reply to: Profusion

I think the words are to easy to blurt out, often in reciprocal fashion. Actions speak louder and have more meaning. Anyone can say I love you, but showing it in true fashion is the real indicator.

originally posted by: Profusion
This seems to be completely dependent on context. For instance, when I attended Christian churches in my adolescence, there were "I love yous" flying all over the place. On the other hand, a stranger posted "I love you" to me on this forum. It was certainly shocking and unexpected. I took it to be a nice gesture. But, some people might get very offended by something like that.

The article linked to below has an interesting examination of when "I love you" is appropriate in romance. What do you think the correct answer is?

Consider, for example, this common (and conflicting) advice about when to tell your partner "I love you":

Go on at least five dates.
Say it only after two months.
Don't wait too long.
Wait until you're absolutely bursting.
Do not do it before, after, or during sex.
Don't say it when you're very emotional and cannot think rationally.
Don't say it when you want to reward your partner for something.
Never say it first, and don't echo it back until you've spent some extended time together.
Source

The following article has a discussion of what "I love you" means in different contexts.

We like to tell everyone that we love them, particularly after a couple glasses of wine, and although there's some talk out there that this sweet expression has lost its meaning because we overuse it, I couldn't disagree more. I'm convinced there's nothing wrong with verbalizing our feelings on a regular basis; this world could always use a little more affection, a bit of extra magic. But we'd be silly to think that saying "I love you" means the same thing to each person you say it to. Your mom doesn't get the same kind of love that you give to your kitty cat, and that doesn't mean you care for one more than the other. So, no matter how you say it or who you say it to, keep passing on the love — even if those words accidentally slip out when you're talking to the bartender on an especially fun girls' night out.

The list could go on and on, but here are 11 different meanings of "I love you."
Source

"Only Love Strangers" by the Chinese pop star Faye Wong brings up an interesting question. Should she express her love for strangers?

Incidentally, I've asked several Chinese people whether loving strangers is part of Chinese culture. They all said no, Faye Wong is just weird. The older I get, the more the song seems to describe me.

I'm in love with a scar
I'm in love with a lamp
I love to listen carefully to the ticking second hand
Don't love any other rumour

Those I love are more innocents than facial expressions
more naive than pets
When what I need is just a kiss
A kiss is what I got
I only love strangers
I only love strangers

Let me fall in love with a particular person
Love a particular body temperature
Like to see a particular gleam in the eyes
Don't love any other possibilities

www.youtube.com...

I love you.

On the first date, right after ya boink'er!!
2

originally posted by: notmyrealname
Whenever my current wife said "I love you" while we were dating and I didn't feel it was the correct thing to say back at the time, I stated (with a smile) "I love me too" and that took the edge off the usually awkward situation and allowed her to understand that I was just an A-hole....

Happily together for 15 years now.

There will be no better response than this.

a reply to: Profusion


*WHEN SHOULD YOU SAY I LOVE YOU*


A phrase too easily bandied about and said as a *throw away remark*

When should you say it

Only when you really truly mean it.

You should say it when you realise that you love someone.

If you keep it back, you may lose a wonderful opportunity.

Another situation where it's OK to say it:

In my experience, I've waited until i feel it in my head and heart, usually when you (both) have been through something big and stuck together through thick and thin... Nothing left to share type thing except love.

When my ex GF's father died i was with her all the way and in doing so made a huge emotional connection and almost at the same time said the big, I love You,, we stayed together for 3 years,, we split up because she had a chance to work in Japan, she didn't want to leave me but i had to say follow your dreams etc. we still talk nearly every day (time difference etc) can make it hard when i'm at work.

There has been times in my life when girlfriend's have said to me,,,I Love You,,, and i just didn't have the same emotions as her (that can make a relationship hard),, also had times when I've said to them the big..I Love You..And they got all okay it's mostly a sex thing or I'm not sure yet etc.

You have to go with the flow.

In no particular order.

1, find out if you're going to stay together.
2, make sure you're invested in her as she is in you.
3, never get annoyed at the little things (You don't want to be a drama queen) that's for both of you.
4, treat her as you would like to be treated,, none of the taking for a ride spending X amount of ££$$ when it doesn't work out (someone will have a loss)
Finally.
5, Have fun no matter what (that's a good sign).

a reply to: Profusion

Yikes. Just say it when it doesn't matter to you if you don't hear it back. That way you'll know you aren't saying it for your own benefit. Saying "I love you" means nothing if you just love being loved back.

The eyes say it, regardless of what comes out of one's mouth.

The eyes hear it, regardless of what goes into one's ears.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I think the words, I love You have become cheapened, bandied about recklessly.

Sometimes words are simply not enough.

a reply to: Profusion say it when you feel variants of love...read the language of flowers or plants ect...pink and red are about love romantic and friendship...white is purity the chakra colors can give you a inkling of love language...good luck, dear chum

say it, when you feel it. When you see that this is a person you want to wake up every morning with, see him/her brushing teeth, taking shower, their dirty cloth and sweathy shirts and stinky socks,come back home and see her/him there, sat his/her photo on the phone and look at it EVERY time you have a phone in a hand, listen to them snore and hiccup, chew loudly and fart.. all those not-so-pleasant things we never think of when it's a fling. Think about all that, and if it's -yes, I want- to all those things- go head and say it )))

You should say it when you feel it and you are ready