Sydney police discovered a man in a ‘domestic dispute’ with a large spider

It is the season for the common orb weavers to put in an appearance in this part of the world, and right on schedule, one has moved into our sweet gum building a new web every night. I swear the little jerk (not so little really) has a sense of humor because it moves its web from one part of the path we walk to the car to another every night and you never quite know which part that old web will be overhanging.

Husband walked into it one morning. I caught it the other day, and our son hit it yesterday morning.

Nothing worse than a face full of web and the vague panic of not knowing if you got that spider somewhere too.

This is too funny guys!!!!

originally posted by: tigertatzen
a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

True story:

I lived for a while in rural Virginia, and had a little garden apartment on a farm. The property owner warned me about snakes and bears and such, which was expected. I asked him about bugs and spiders, and he assured me the only spiders I'd run across would likely be "just those little brown garden spiders".

Garden spider...OK, sounds pretty benign. Ditto "little". Small and they like the garden, which is not inside my apartment. I put it out of my mind.

Couple weeks later, it's about 1am and I'm at the kitchen table reading a book. I feel something brush the top of my foot, and automatically think it's one of my cats, so I glance down to see which one.

Well. I learned a few valuable things in the moments that followed:

1. Garden spiders actually not "little". Unless your point of comparison is a tarantula. From Jurassic Park.

2. Garden spiders cast a visible shadow on linoleum. That is a fact.

3. Garden spiders are not intimidated by cats, an entire can of bug spray, half a can of hairspray, brooms, mops, Windex, oven cleaner, or a variety of other threats, including a 78lb pitbull. After sucking down half a bottle of Clorox tub and tile spray that I unloaded in its face with the "stream" setting, I swear the vile thing smirked at me. And when I finally brandished the hammer, steeling myself for battle, I am certain I heard a distant, evil chuckle.

4. I have astonishing accuracy when hurtling a claw hammer at a garden spider from a distance of at least ten feet in a crisis situation.

5. And the most important lesson of all: garden spiders do not die right away when subjected to blunt force trauma from an airborne object. Garden spiders require a double-tap. Do not be fooled, people. Trust me on this.

So...every night for the rest of my stay there, my evening ritual included liberally spraying each and every crack or crevice around the door, followed by applying a double layer of duck tape over each poison-filled crack. Every. Single. Night.

It was the only way I could sleep. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

You might move back there (or even better down here), set up lots of cameras, and then whn a big sdiper incidents happens we can get to see the video or your hours long epic battle vs. the spider, where your place looks all ransacked & demolished by the time its over.

a reply to: tigertatzen

When you empty that can of hairspray onto the next big spider...after making sure it's in a fire proof area, throw a lit match on it.
I gave one what looked like a heart attack that way. It had crawled into a jar before I threw the match and the hairspray exploded just above the spider 😳
Scared the crap out of me

a reply to: ketsuko

Orb weaver web is surprisingly tough too, we used to get them regularly in our garden but in the past few years I haven't seen any which is strange but also pleasant due to their trollish nature of webbing wherever you walk

It's threads like this that remind me of why I love my country so much... sub-zero arctic temperatures and all.


"Thank you oh merciful cosmic lords for blessing me with being born in the Great White North."



That is all.

*drops mic*

a reply to: ketsuko

Just mess up their webs. They'll move it over a little each night until they can finally coexist.

I don't blame him. I would freak out if I found a Huntsman in my house at 2am. I'd likely just set the place a blaze and move on. Lol

a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

I would need a trained physician and a crash cart. And body armor. Lots of really effective body armor. And a .50 cal...in case the first guy was actually just a baby and there's a big mama somewhere out there. And...

Wait...am I getting combat pay for this???

a reply to: tigertatzen

You might instead pick bird shot 12 gauge over 50 cal.

Or one fast hard straight shot jab with a broom end will demolish them in one hit. I normally dont set about destroying them, but in odd scenarios such as the hypothetical someone was all amped up in a visually enhanced mind expansion session, and one ran mach 6 across the ceiling, in such a hypothetical even the most arachnid tolerant might set about ending such a beast.

a reply to: gps777

This is just unreasonable.

The spider posed little to no threat to the homeowner, and while I can appreciate that a mans home is his castle, trying to kill the spider was way over the top. Spiders are a necessary part of home life. If you have no spiders in your home, you have instead all the things they prey on. Flies, mozzies, moths, wasps (air bastards) and the like. Flies and mosquitoes spread diseases that CAN kill. Blood infections, bacteria on food, and all manner of other nasties.

Besides, they are really cute!

a reply to: CranialSponge

I did not realize that arctic temperatures are the foe of my nemesis. Why did I not know this? I hate the cold...but spiders can't get an Eskimo suit jacket thingy...and I can. How arctic are we talking here?

*drops bug spray*

a reply to: TrueBrit

"Air Bastards": I love that one.

Although I have no odds with my locale wasps. They're garden pest assault choppahs. Many of which are also pollinators. I have odd species of them, some are normally entirely undetected if not for their various direct involvements with the plants. Tiny ones I'm even talking about.

LOL thanks for all the great comments guys.

That's not a spider THIS is a spider...

Female Funnel Web Spider.mov



Fast and aggressive black as sin with a big pair of deadly fangs and an asshole eight legged land shark!

Luckily its only found around Sydney and across to Adelaide on the East coast and is why I`m a staunch supporter of living in the far West of the country. Personally I think the rest of Australia should just dig a mote around the area and be done with it.

a reply to: TrueBrit

I assure you...there are no creepy crawly hangers-on in my spider free zone. I've got something for every one of those bastards. I've probably got the most sterile environment in the city...you could have surgery in here and be safer than the hospital. Germs are bugs too, and I don't like them either.

a reply to: TrueBrit


I know, personally I would never kill a huntsman, try and capture it and put it outside same as golden orb etc etc though the guy in the article has a clear phobia, but when there are Red Backs or White Tail spiders found around the yard which can pose serious health conditions to family, they have to go.

a reply to: ketsuko

Are you talking about writing spiders? The black and yellow ones? That bounce up and down on their web like a trampoline and draw weird shapes with their silk? There's a Choctaw legend about those things. That if they are around the entrance to your home, remove them...if they write your name in their web, you'll die soon after.

I'm not worried about that though. I inspect the door and surrounding area before I step through it. Just in case.

a reply to: gps777

I wouldn't kill one either. I'd get someone else to do it for me while I wait in a secure location. If I wasn't dead from shock already, that is.

a reply to: gps777

Jesus Christ on a corndog! That can't be real. It's not real. Is it???

a reply to: tigertatzen

lol

and you just reminded me of a time I was working up in the far north where everything is BIG my Mrs was having a panic attack over a BIG grasshopper that found its way into our house, "I was saying calm down and just grab it and put in outside, its just a grasshopper for goodness sake" Nope she wouldn`t so I just went and grabbed it, it then proceeded to take my arm off to the elbow.

I kid you not, even the grasshoppers want us dead.