It's finally got to that point.

nvm

originally posted by: Excallibacca
I haven't given a s*** in about 12 years. It hasn't hurt me yet. I'm gonna go ahead and congratulate you.

Same here. Bravo OP. Freedom is definitely worth it, IMHO. Maybe it means that you are now completely comfortable with your reality that you can just let things slide.

a reply to: DAVID64

No. I'm not depressed or need meds to rewire my brain in to thinking I'm happy. There's a huge difference between pissed and depressed.
Why is that people's first thought when someone gets sick of listening to the morons who need a safe place to hide from the ideas of others?

Man I hear you. We lost everything overnight due to a massive accidental poisoning. Two years later, the doctors gave me four hours to live and said: "If you survive those four hours, you will always have a 30% chance of spontaneous recurrence (of those three pulmonary blood clots) with most likely a fatal outcome." Another doc told me I would have a slow, painful death. And then the neurologist told me that three parts of my brain had been affected...and gave me a prescription for anti-depressants.

He said I was depressed. Ya think? Of course I was depressed! But I told him that being depressed was normal, under the circumstances and his remedy was not.

I threw his prescription away and we went to a week long dance festival. Afraid? You bet. But I thought that if I were to suddenly drop dead, I'd rather die doing something I loved, with the man I loved.

(Sorry, that took too many words on your thread...I'm working on shorter sentences.)

David64, I don't know how you got there, but I know exactly how you feel about not knowing what to do with your life. What I did was imagine the perfect job: One I could do at home, on my own time (I've got chronic fatigue but you'd never know it, along with multiple other poison gifts) plus a job that did not require employees or dealing with the public. After laughing myself to sleep, a few days later I found the perfect job...being a trader. I thought I would hate it, I love it. It fit my description to a tee and I had never heard of trading. I just paper trade until I'm good enough to put my money where my mouth is, but I love it.

Of course, I have come to love ATS more. And there's no money where my mouth is there! lol.

You might consider doing what I did and imagining your idea of the perfect job...and then laugh yourself to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be interesting...

(I know, I know, too many words...)

CF

a reply to: ClownFish

Wow ... great attitude !

And you are still here ! ... winning !

😎

a reply to: ClownFish

What I did was imagine the perfect job: One I could do at home, on my own time

It's funny you should say that. I'm basically surrounded by Maple trees. They grow everywhere in this town and people frequently cut them down, due to storm damage, etc and several years ago my neighbor cut down a fairly large one. I asked for some of the logs and he said sure, I could have all I wanted, because it would be that much less for him to haul off.
Fast forward to about a month ago. Those logs had been there a while and I was curious to see what I could make out of them, after I cut them down to boards. Imagine my surprise and joy when a couple turned out like this -
[ this is not my work shop or logs, I just grabbed a pic off the internet, but mine are just as good as this one ]




Spalted Maple. Without trying to sound vain, I'm a pretty good carpenter and I really enjoy carving and making things for people. I'm working on a jewelry box for my daughter right now and I have plans for some picture frames, a table top and a few other things, all from these logs.
This has been my....outlet? This is what I do, to just do what I love and make other happy in the process.

a reply to: DAVID64

Well, you seem rather sensitive to every subject for one who doesn't care.

It is easy to see that you care so much you think you are numb to it, but you are about to round some kind of corner.

Hang on tight, you are about to care again.

originally posted by: ParasuvO
a reply to: DAVID64

Well, you seem rather sensitive to every subject for one who doesn't care.

It is easy to see that you care so much you think you are numb to it, but you are about to round some kind of corner.

Hang on tight, you are about to care again.

I suspect the same.

The OP has the same feel as something I go through right before a big change. Like a sort of emptying that happens, readying for a re-filling of experiences and emotions.

a reply to: DAVID64

Woodwork is very cathartic ...

Check out Huon Pine ... it is very beautiful and rare.

It comes from wilderness areas in southern Tasmania ...

I'd link it but I'm on an android ...

Cheers.

originally posted by: DAVID64
a reply to: wtbengineer

51.
I've always been what people call a "hard ass". I have no patience for airheads and whiners and it's seems that, over the last few years, the world has become full of them. Every one has their own little Cause and if you don't agree, why, you're a racist, bigot, misogynist, homophobic,...........you get the point.
I'm just sick of people. Period.
Thing of it is, I'm still nice to everyone I meet. Still polite to store clerks, still try to be civil to everyone, but when they start the "I'm special, I'm Right and you're wrong if you don't think like I do" I just tune them out. If they're lucky. Catch me on a particularly bad day and you'll probably get an ear full of where to shove it.

You sound pretty mellowed out to me bud , people who get on my nerves get looked in the eye and called reptile gened inbreeds freeks of nature , while they are still realling from that one i hit them with make peace with your god and threaten to slaughter them like a animal and bathe in their blood and laugh at the judge when he gives me years of free food .

Everyone leaves me alone now , happy days

a reply to: stonerwilliam
Spend enough time around ATS and you will realize that most people don't really care what anyone has to say, unless you are a member of their group.

They are locked into their own minds, and the only words or ideas that are able to filter through, are those that match their own.

They probably leave you alone because you aren't a member of their group. You got one star, so someone is hearing you. Now if you were in the right group, you could post just the word "jelly" and you would get 100 stars in 1 second.

It is less about what others think and more about what makes you happy and what you can live with.

a reply to: DAVID64

Hi DAVID64...
I'm joining your camp...do you mind if I pitch my tent in the corner?
So tired of all the crap too.

I don't want to care, but I care too much.
My feelings get hurt and I feel wounded.
S&F jacy

a reply to: DAVID64
This weekend I think I may have had a brief flicker of the view, of what part of the end game plan may be.

I walked into my part-time job were I do community service and was handed a new form, and was told that all that work there are required to sign it. I of course had to read it over before putting my Jane Hancock on the bottom-line. I was surprised that they had put 360 degree cameras all over the ceiling.

There is nothing of value at the work stations, and I doubt if anyone would even try to walk out with a keyboard, which are the only removal items in the place. When I asked why the cameras, no one had an answer, except that corporate had them put in. Most of the people there have worked at their jobs between 10 to 20 years. Myself and 1 or 2 other people, are the only ones that are fairly new. Nothing has ever been reported stolen or lost, so the reason for the cameras was not known, and not shared by those is corporate. Included in the new rules was that the only drinks we are allowed to bring in is water and it has to be in a closed, clear container. This caused my spidery senses to go haywire. Again, they could give no valid reason for this new rule. So I started to think about it, and put 2+2 together.

Only us old folk seem to have a problem with an invasion on our privacy. The younger folk seem to desire being on display to the world 24/7. Where are the only places they are not allowed to place cameras? Locker rooms and bathrooms. So is the picture becoming any clearer? Do you see the handwriting on the wall?

I just can't bring myself to give a damn about their petty problems and if some guy can dress up like a woman, because it's his "inner identity" and go pee in the lady's room. Go piss up a rope for all I care. Maybe it's just me being bitter, because, although the world is supposedly getting better, it just seems to be falling apart that much faster,, with all the different sides, fighting for different things, that are not important to anyone but them and ignoring what's best for the most people.

I too had problems understanding why so many petty things were getting all this crazy attention. I knew we were being divided for a reason. I think they are giving us all the room we need to do their dirty work for them.

All they will have to do is place leashes on the collars we fight to put around our necks, they will then lead us the the corral of their choice. Then the culling will begin in earnest.

The form I signed yesterday was my resignation.

I do believe it is by design how many distractions we all have every day. I can remember when I was young that NEWS was all that was in NEWSpapers and anything to do with hollywood was only in ' Tabloids'. And respectable people did not buy or read Tabloids. Now, the national news stations will break into news about a war to tell you breaking news about an affair a 'celebrity' is having.

So question to those who are finally getting to that point. Are you all financially stable ? I ask because after paying off my home about 4 years ago , I felt a big ' let down' in my drive/ ambition. That was a really driving force in my life to be debt free and financially stable. I am by no means rich and only have $100 right now but I'm debt free and I thought with that freedom I would be able to do all kinds of things . Only I don't feel a lot of drive to do much. I'm not depressed but maybe bored? Anyway, just wonder if that is a common theme. TIA

originally posted by: jacygirl
a reply to: DAVID64

Hi DAVID64...
I'm joining your camp...do you mind if I pitch my tent in the corner?
So tired of all the crap too.

I don't want to care, but I care too much.
My feelings get hurt and I feel wounded.
S&F jacy

I can't speak for David64, but I do believe you would be welcome in anyone's camp.

CF

a reply to: schmae

I felt a big ' let down' in my drive/ ambition. That was a really driving force in my life to be debt free and financially stable. I am by no means rich and only have $100 right now but I'm debt free and I thought with that freedom I would be able to do all kinds of things . Only I don't feel a lot of drive to do much. I'm not depressed but maybe bored? Anyway, just wonder if that is a common theme. TIA

I would call myself stable because I downsized. I live within my means, and could walk away from everything at the drop of a hat, and still be comfortable.

I found out with my first retirement, that I need purpose in my life to remain motivated. If I didn't have a reason to get out of the bed in the morning, I didn't. I wasn't getting younger. I had run the rat race for too long, and I was just plain tired. Age, intractable pain, and a growing disgust for the downward trending of our government and society, made being a recluse, very appealing.

That lasted all of about 3 months. I decided that was not the way I wanted to go out. That is just me. Laying down and quitting, did not suit my personality by a long shot. I can't stop them from coming, but I am going out, kicking and screaming the whole way.

I was as recruited to help out my community by working in Victim Services. One thing lead to another, and now I have my hands full. I keep fighting the losing battle of trying to educate parents in how to prepare their children for the brave new world. All I can do is provide care and education. What they do with it, is up to them.

I still become frustrated, angry, and disgusted with how things are playing out. I hold on by telling myself if I can help just one person, it is worth it.

I guess I should add delusional to my list of ailments.