posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 05:38 PM
I am a somewhat introverted individual myself so I know the difficulty in engaging with other people that you mentioned.
Personally I can see my pitfalls and like many other members are saying you need to have some form of social interaction face to face with people. I
wouldn't consider myself as someone with many friends but the ones I am fortunate enough to have are good ones I have known since I was in secondary
school, if it wasn't for them I would be in a situation where I would be unable to meet and socialize with people due to my work and anxieties around
So, you are aware of your problems - you would like to find a girlfriend and some close friends you can spend time with. Sadly there isn't a blueprint
for making friends and finding a girlfriend but there are some steps to help you along the way.
try and find a means of meeting new people. This will put you waaay out of your comfort zone and it may not be smooth sailing but the
love of your life and friends you can chill with won't just come and knock at your door.
Do you have a hobby you enjoy or know of one you have always wanted to do? Find a group that is related to that in someway. Want to be a ninja? Find a
martial arts group near by. Love to paint or draw? Great - Find an art class. Feel like you've got some majestic pipes on you? Join a choir, band or
acapella group, or even go to a few karaoke nights. Basically, find something that interests you and go do it in a group environment. It wont be easy
if you suffer from social anxiety but because you are doing something that interests you will make it much, much easier. After you have been there for
a few weeks/months you will start to open up and people will be starting to get to know you, the REAL you. And I'm sure the real you is a very
likeable person just waiting to get out there.
So what else could you try?
Well how about work. Find a job that offers you some form of social interaction on a regular basis so you open up
and are more comfortable around people. Even if it's a really #ty job you hate with crappy pay that you only do for 3 weeks, remember that you are
doing something far more important than making money - you are helping yourself to overcome any social issues you may have and you are directly
involving yourself with new people on a daily basis. Who knows, perhaps you will meet a co-worker that hates the job just as much as you do and a
friendship starts from there. Perhaps the girl of your dreams works at a shop down the street and comes in for lunch everyday. You will never know
unless you go out there and do it.
"But it was a disaster, 'X' happened then 'Y' and I never want to go back there because i am 'Z'"
Well Z, that may have been the case but just relax and try again tomorrow. It's natural to think like this but it's basically your mind going into
lock-down mode and it is trying to get you to slip back into your old routines; it's what you know and it's what you're comfortable with. But we both
know that just because it's comfortable it doesn't mean it's what's best for you.
So in short, go out, do something you enjoy/don't and meet friends/girlfriends along the way all while expanding your horizons and experiences.
edit on 10/4/2016 by constant_thought because: (no reason given)